I'm not planning on getting married ever, but just as a general rule, should you tell your fiance before getting married?
I'm not planning on getting married ever, but just as a general rule, should you tell your fiance before getting married?
That's a no-brainer. Yes.
In the internet era, the globe is your range of prospective partners, and you know from browsing that you're not one of a kind.
Now did I take my own advice? No. But a wiser person than me would take it.
"Inside of every old person is a young person wondering what the hell happened."
"The best thing about the MBasic that comes with the Kaypro is that it allows variable names longer than two characters."
In my opinion, I would say yes to telling her before marriage. I think that telling her would avoid alot of problems in the years to come within the relationship.
Kayla Horn
Absolutely. If she doesnt accept it, it is better to know before than later. My dressing was largely dormant during my marriage (33 years), but, once re-awakened, there is no way to supress it. I immediately told my gf, who was pretty nervous about it at first, but, when we went on a long-weekend getaway out of town, and Wenda showed up, and they went shopping together, she found a new friend. You just cant have a strong relationship while trying to keep something like dressing a secret. Think about it, of all the things you could be hiding, like axe murderer, kidnapper, rapist, terrorist, etc, etc., crossdressing is pretty benign.
Besides, my gf has come to believe that it is better for me to have an affair with Wenda than some strange woman.
That is a definate YES. I told my wife before we were married and I have been married for 32 years. I have only known personally one other family that had the same "problem" that we have. They ultamately got divorced. When she was talking t my wife about it she kept wondering that if he lied to me by not telling me about this befor we got married, then what has he lied to me about since.
Don't you get worried about your wife letting others know the secret?
By all means tell your fiance. It will prevent possible problems in the future and if she is OK with it think of all the fun from the beginning. If I had told my wife before we married I could have had a lot of fun I missed out on when I was younger. Hindsight is always better than foresight.
A marriage is built on trust so I trust mine to keep the secret, however mine wants it kept secret more than me.Originally Posted by Aileen
I think you should tell her before you get married and make sure its not just a few weeks before.
there are now a lot of resources available to explain you dressing
In the past it was not so easy
better to face the problem before you get married
Hi
When I just started dating my wife I told her that was a male to female crossdreser and then she started to ask all the types of questions, and that was 6 years ago(married for 1.5 years) and now she want to wear my clothes, which we are about the same size expect for shoes.
I say you should tell her becuase if you don't you might have bigger headaches down the road.
Clorissa
I say tell her soon after meeting her. Not on the first date, but with in the first few. If she is OK with it great. If she freaks out and dumps you, find another one. That is my plan anyway, now if I could just find one.
Feeling and looking great
Jasmine and Donna
Swiss Miss
From expierience god yes ,I told her weeks after and she got over it but has never acceppted it.
I wish I had told my wife from the get go, I now realize what a mistake I made by trying to keep the big secret from her. When you love someone, that means trust too, and you have to go all the way with that, you can't edit what you want to share.
Karen
I know I told my wife when we were dating she was open to the idea now she loves it and well I am going full time she was kinda worried about what others would think I offered her a way out with divorce but she said no marriage is forever so this is where I am in my life we have an honest marriage with full trust to last forever
silly boys trucks are for girls
Yes
I would say absolutely! I told my wife-to-be shortly after we moved in together in the 70's. She had a few questions but no real problems with it. Now that the children are grown we have started going shopping together as girlfriends and have taken a few long weekends to boston. It was the best choice I could have made!
[SIZE="6"]100% HELL YEAH !!!!!!!!!!![/SIZE] If you do not tell her before it just makes it harder to tell her later. And I think harder for her to understand, because she does not understand why you did not tell her before.
0.02
Kisses, April Marie
no matter how much love we have, we can not feel it if we are not happy inside
"Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways totally worn out, shouting "Holy ****, what a ride!",author unknown
Women to me are gods greatest forms of beauty and art in motion.
In a relationship (ideally in all relationships ~ but most certainly with a future spouse) one should be completely honest and open in all aspects of their life and total being ~ there isn't any room for anything less. This is not the place for anything BUT the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth!
I guess its my background, but I'm a big propoent of "anticipating" things that might happen to you and in your life, and situational analysis, along with a firm beliver in Murph's law, one of which goes hand in hand with what I just said, that is to say, "if you plan for five KNOWN contingencies, a sixth one ~ hence unforseen will promplty develop.
With that said, we as crossdressers should engineer our lives around that simple fact, and prepare accordainly. In both our personal and professional lives.
I got the statement from her "I wish you haden't told me" So I have been out there for along time not being able to get on with my life. Would love for her to get into the GG part of the forum but she's death on the subject. Pretty amazing for someone who is loving and for the most part open. Love her to death!
I cant even believe that question is being asked...!!!!!!
cheery
xx
[SIZE="4"]The pleasure you get from life is equal to the attitude you put into it.[/SIZE]
DEFINITELY! I told my ex-wife who was quite at ease about it. A couple of previous GFs too. One didn't like it so we went our separate ways as the relationship would never have worked as a result of her disapproval and both of us would have been unhappy.
[SIZE="5"]Helen[/SIZE]
Tell her now!
I didn't tell her and when I did she felt gutted that I hadn't TRUSTED her.
I'm lucky that things have worked out OK but there would be nothing worse for you than to lie to her. If she is the one for you then share all your secrets with her.
Adele. xxx
Absolutely.
Sirena Rivera
"Because when you stop and look around, this life is pretty amazing." - Theodor S. Geisel
Just a slight story.
What if the GF leaves you and flushes your engagement ring down the toilet. You think She will tell your Buds about your CDing? Oh Yeah!
Did not happen to me. But I'm sure there are people out there that it has.
Oh and have you ever read My Husband Betty? In there it talks about how Women can't keep secrets. That it's just not how they are made up. BTW page 59.
Last edited by HaleyPink2000; 03-26-2006 at 03:53 PM.
Haley P. Kemp
With all the posts on this site about the problems people are having with their unaccepting spouses it amazes me that there would be any question.
I am glad that during my younger, stupider, days such a marriage did not happen to me. It very easily could have, my thought being that being married would quell the urge to crossdress. By being open in the beginning you would greatly increase the chances of finding a very accepting spouse and would avoid much misery to both parties later on.
Hugs, Christine
If you don't tell before, I would cetainly advise against telling after - ever.
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