Is your wife/partner supportive of your fem side?

[Deidra Cowen]

My girlfriends knows and is supportive. Of course since I met her out at a nightclub while enfemme I expect thats no big surprise. :evil:

[Mary Jane]

My wife knows but is not supportive. I guess she accepts the fact that I need to dress and I can dress when she is away from home. Usually once a month. It definitely could be worse.

[Staci]

My wife is supportive. She helps me pick out clothes and make-up.

[mskilmer]

My wife knows and loves it! Honestly ... it's brought us closer in some ways. She even buys me things
Actually I rarely dress en femme without her involved. We have a great time.

[Melanie R]

My wife is very supportive and for the next 7 days will be sharing a complete feminine wardropbe with me as we begin our 27th crossdressing cruise this Sunday. I am taking no clothes for Mel so Melanie will have to be out among them meaning 2800 other passengers. There are 8 couples in our group for this cruise and without exception all the wives are 100% accepting of their husband's dressing. What makes these wives so unique in their acceptance as compared to many of your wives. I will ask each of them to give me a statement of why and how they came to acceptance and report back in 8-9 days.

Melanie

[Rachel Morley]

Yes, my wife is very supportive. We met on a cd forum and she married me knowing everything. I know I am so fortunate to be allowed to express this part of me...but even more than that Marla actually participates in it. Crossdressing is not "my thing" it's "our thing".

[Kordia]

I (had) a wife that found me out and I confessed everything in a desperate attempt of belated trust. WRONG!!! Even though she felt "relieved" that it was finally out in the open and she "understood" she began to treat me like a second hand wheel. Needless to say, that was about two months ago, before she left me..... I'm afraid that I'm going to be a very lonely Kordia when it comes to that area ..............

[Bernice]

I insisted on telling her before we got engaged. She was initially pretty supportive, though never enthusiastic.

Certain external events after marriage (a violent peeping tom saw me through closed blinds) led her to be much less supportive. She would prefer that I never go outside enfemme; never go near a door or window enfemme; not wear prosthetics, makeup, or wig in her presence.

After 30 years, I don't question her love, and she doesn't question my crossdressing. But how supportive is that, really? Yes, obviously, to a degree. But not 100% or encouraging.

I accept my lot in life, and try not to be too envious.

Hugs,

Bernice

[zoetv]

I am really lucky as i have a very supportive wife and i have no problems whatsoever if i wish to become Zoe . wel i do change most days ,it's great

[melissacd]

Nine years ago my wife accidentally discovered my dressing after about 14 years together. At that time I was not very accepting of it within myself so needless to say in spite of answering all of her many questions and writing a heartfelt letter and finding things to educate her, she totally rejected it, threw out my stuff and told me to stop. I did.

Nine years later, the issue never resolved, our relationship felt like it was coming apart. Without saying the exact reason I suggested that we needed to see a relationship counselor. She agreed. I suggested that we see the counselor first each alone so that the counselor could get each person's story without the other interjecting. She agreed. I went to the first session and that night she asked what we talked about. I said that we should wait until our session together and she insisted that I say something.

I hemmed and hawed and debated with myself what to do. Then I thought, well the relationship feels like it is going down the toilet anyway so I decided to let her know about the relationship issues that I discussed including talking to the therapist about the cross dressing, how it has never gone away, how I was discovered and how upset my wife was, how this has never been resolved in all these years and how I felt that it was a discussion that had to be finished. We had an interesting discussion that night in bed.

A few months have passed since then, we have gone to counseling together, we have had many discussions, we have begun to relate to each other in a way that has been so much better than it has been in a long time. She has done some reading, I have shown her some pictures, she is now willing to see some movies about cross dressing to better understand. While she is still very uncomfortable with the topic, she at least accepts that it is a part of who I am, she is okay with me going to support groups, is okay with me rebuilding a wardrobe and has said she will work through this in baby steps.

Within a very short period of time we have regained our relationship, can see a future together and she is growing in her acceptance everyday. For my part , I do not push her, I take baby steps in my efforts to move this forward, I am honest with her about everything. To my happiness and amazement she has started asking me about this rather than me always having to bring the subject up, this shows me that she is processing all of this and is starting to come around.

I show her that I am still me, that I still retain my masculine components and that the feminine components were always there, she just never saw that before. I can see that I am growing from this experience and whereas a year ago I would have said that I was ready to leave, my love is growing deeper everyday with each touch, kiss, hug, conversation....everything. I know that this is a gradual process, however, I can now see that she will come around, in fact she is progressing through this so much faster than I expected after the reaction I got 9 years ago. I see now that love and caring and patience and respect will get us through this. I love her so much and I have gained a huge respect for her love and courage.

Is she supportive, yes, more and more each day. What more can one ask for...

Huggs
Melissa

[EricaCD]

I'm with Marla - wife knows, not supportive but not overtly against. We are firmly back into "don't ask, don't tell, don't discuss mode." I'm aware that responses can run much worse, and the rest of our lives together are a joy. For me I wanted our relationship to remain on an honest footing. Once that was addressed, if she elects not to involve herself in this aspect of my life I will respect her wish.

Erica

[PennieS]

Although i wear panties 24/7 and have had longer feminate style hair for most of our 30 years together, she does not know about my other clothing, she does not seem to supportive of CDing and I wish she knew how i feel. I have been on hormones for 6 months and she has told me that I need a bra and she plans on going out and buying me one. I have always had some breast developement, but now it is beginning to become even more apparent, She said I could use a bra and maybe a sports bra under some of my other clothes. I did not let her know that I already have several, I am hoping thinks work out better if and when she decides to go out and actually get them. She has even gone to the bother of measuring me to see what size I might be. I did not let her know that i already have a 40A and several 40b that I have been wearing occasionally. She did go out shopping today for a bunch of other things she was needing so I am hoping today may be the day that she decides to buy one. I can only hope that she realy meant it and pray for the best.

[midwest GG]

AMEN to that!!!! I would much rather be supportive, and love him for who he/she is, than lose him/her all together. He is a wonderful father, spouse, and provider, and he too is my absolute best friend. I wouldn't have it any other way!!!

[ginafaye]

my wife is very suportive........i get to sleep dressed almost every nite ......daytime activies are whatever family duties permit.......if were alone its all ok

[Sally Jo]

As I just posted earlier, I to have a supportive wife, and I love every inch of her. Sally Jo.

[Anita Mae GG]

I support my husband because Danielle is a part of him and I love ALL of him very much. Wouldn't change anything about him'her for the world........

[Cutie]

I am very lucky because my wife fully supports me. You is happy about my dressing and does anything she can to help.
I have my own cupboards etc for my fem clothes. We share make-up, and always go out shopping together.
She has been a great help with make-up, giving me lessons on how to look more fem. She has also taken lots of pics for me and helps with how to walk and act fem.
We have been out together and been mistaken for girly friends and even sisters. We have the same dress size 10/12uk.

I realise I am very lucky to have such support at home..

Take care xxxx

[Brandy_Marie]

I went back and looked because I had posted on a similar topic when I first joined this forum close to a year ago. This is what I found:

I remember when I first told my wife. I was absolutely terrified. We had already gone through one of the roughest trials and tribulations any marriage could undergo (almost entirely my fault), and here I was revealing one of the scariest secrets I could ever reveal to anyone. I fully expected her to completely freak out and hate me for turning her world upside down yet again.

She shocked me to my core by not only being as completely accepting as I think any GG could be, she seemed to actually be pleased by the turn of events. It surprised me more b/c when I revealed my secret to her, I told her that I was going to seek a Gender Dysphoria specialist, try to get started on treatments as soon as possible, and leave it to her whether I'd remain pre- or post-op. There was a cooling-off period of about a week where we didn't talk about it. Then, one day out of the blue, she came home from an unannounced shopping trip. She had gone out to purchase me some 'dainties' and had discovered that she absolutely loved shopping for me.

She immediately converted me to wearing women's underwear full-time that day. She didn't buy me any outerwear, which was fine with me at the time. I told her all of my desires, and she was fully supportive of all of them. She even bought me my first corset as a Valentine's Day gift.

After a while, I went through a period of rejecting Brandy, and packed everything away. I said not one word to my wife; I just stopped being Brandy. She accepted it without complaint and we tried to move on. Again, problems occurred in our marriage.

We finally went to a marriage counselor, and started working on our relationship as husband and wife. Brandy never entered into this at first. But, as time went on, and our relationship grew stronger, my desire to bring Brandy back returned full force.

I told my wife, except this time I was more cautious in my desires. I didn't want to go as far (CD'ing instead of sex-change operation) or as fast (as things feel comfortable instead of complete change in a year), and she supported me in that. She expressed that she was ecstaticly happy to see Brandy again.

Again, I turned against myself, and started accusing her of being a lesbian and trying to 'force' me to be a woman. She took it all in stride. We sat down, had a long conversation, and figured out exactly where Michael and Brandy stood with regards to our marriage.

She has decided that she is married to Brandy; Michael is a necessary evil that all who know Brandy tolerate because they have to right now. I think they all wish for the day when he'll be gone forever. Right now, I don't ever see that happening, but who knows. As it is, at every holiday she makes sure that both Michael and Brandy receive cards and gifts.

For the most part, it all still holds true. I have not rejected myself since that time, although I have had questions. Since then, I had my first public outing on Halloween (with my wife by my side). I have also come to realize that I cannot be one or the other; I will always be both Michael and Brandy, with all of their strengths and their flaws. I am trying to find a way to blend the strengths and overcome the flaws. I could not have the life I have now, one which grows richer with each passing day, if it wasn't for the love and support of my amazing wife.

Brandy Marie Devereaux

PS, I do most of my own shopping now and have built up quite a wardrobe, but she did buy me my first purse recently.

[CharlaineCadence]

I have to say my female friend ( can really call her girlfriend) supports me as does some of my best friends. It was her guidence and advice that really alowed me the currage to dress 8 years after i stoped. now i'm happier and in the transistion to not only full time but a new life as a woman.

[size7satin]

When my wife was here she was not supportive at all.

[Joanie]

Might as well add my two cents worth....I started CDing two years into our marriage (actually not true--wore my mother's lipstick when she was away as an early teen) when she was out of town. I felt so freaked out about it that I confessed when she came back. She said no big deal. In the next year or so, she agreed that I could wear panties and hose while in bed, even gave me a manicure. Once, I lent her hose when all of hers had runs.
The older we get, it seems that she is a little less accepting. I asked her a year or two back to give me a makeover but instead she gave me some of her older cosmetics, which is fine. I respect her not wanting to see me in a skirt and blouse as this wasn't something she knew about (neither did I, for that matter) when we wed.

Occasionally, I like to say things to her like..if you want to see a bunch of crossdressers, go to the mall, meaning all the women there in jeans! Anyway, this double standard in Western society is slowly changing, what with spas opening their doors for men, MACs giving us makeovers, etc.

[MaylinJane]

My wife is very supportive too. When I came out she was more accepting of me than I was.

May

[suchacutie]

Tina would never have existed without my wife's encouragement. She helps Tina at every step, is her fashion consultant and beauty guide, and Tina's close girlfriend. My love for her knows no bounds!

tina.

[HaleyPink2000]

I'm going to Hell and that's it in Her mind. You know what I think of that idea from Her? It's Crap. I'm not going to Hell for this, maybe other things, but not this. Also She will not go to my Support Group meetings to meet people I am friends with. She won't read much about this and won't do anything that could make Her out as a person that might be in anyway involved with this. She says that if She helps me it's as much of a sin as doing it.

So my question to Her is this??? So if She wears jeans and a shirt, She's in sin also, HUH?

HMMM? But also I do dress at home when I want to, as long as the Grand kids are not around. My Daughter that is 31 also knows about my dressing and is supportive, where my Wife is not. I go to bed dressed, and She don't like it. But as for Sex, that is something She has little use for anyway. So who gives a rat's you know what about Her withholding back Sex. It's not there anyway.

Oh yeah, maybe a few times a year, " you want me to help you do the M thing". So what, I'm 55 and I just don't give a crap. Don't get me wrong, I love Her with all my heart. But this is me and will be from now on.

My first Day retired I got up, got dressed and walked around the house. Then took the truck for a drive for about two hours. Fully dressed enfemme.
Drove around and felt good about doing it. Just me, the windows down, music up, and loving it.

So as I'd say, NO She's not excepting at all! But at this point I care only little.

To let you in on this even more. I have tried everything, from every book, from every person here etc. Even Had the GG's here E-mail here. That got Her to read this site. That did help the most. But She's through, She's right and everybody else is wrong. She does this same kinda thing all the time to me. I'm wrong and She's always right.

Ok, She can be right. I'm wrong, HUH?

[Sedona]

My GF is probably a 3 out of 10 on the acceptance scale. Since I told her six months ago, she hasn't seen me dressed except for panties. I'd been wearing them five or six days a week, and she recently told me to back off on that.

I suppose I'm fortunate in that my CDing is largely fetishistic, and have no desire to go out (which would HORRIFY her). I'm a big burly type of guy (don't be fooled by my avatar, I've had a photo class or three), who looks a little ridiculous in a dress (I actually laugh at myself sometimes).

I love my GF dearly, but since I told her, I've shaved/waxed my body once (she tolerated it, sort of), and she's bought me a couple of nice lotions, and some undies for Val' Day (but doesn't really want to see me in them).

I'm a fairly stubborn and pigheaded person as a rule, and part of me wants to say, "I'm out of here, I'll find someone who accepts all of me." But, I'm beginning to realize that I can't have it all, and I should hang onto the small amount of tolerance she affords me.