I mentioned this before and my wife has repeatedly tried to help me out with this, let me give an example.
Last night we went to the mall and we went into Victory Secrets to buy my wife the "LOVE" perfume she wears. We went past a display with a silk teddy with matching bra and panty set, my wife caught my eye contact and asked me if I wanted it. She checked out the price and told me it was on sale and a great deal. Even with the great deal it was a little to much and I told my wife not to worry about it, but she was already rummaging looking for my size. I told her again in a low voice not to worry about it because it's to much money and we don't know my exact size and there's no return on it.
She told me she wanted to buy it for me and she doesn't understand why as soon as we get near something fem or we cross that line into the women's department at Walmart I get nervous, sweaty and act wierd. The next thing I hear her do is yell out to the sales women, "excuse me", the girl came over and my wife asked her if she could measure me. The S/A told her certainly and to go over to where she has the measuring tapes, I turn to my wife and ask her if she's crazy there's so many people in here. She dragged me over like I was a 10 year old boy dragged by his mom. The S/A explained due to the Covid she would show me how but she can't touch me, my wife grabbed the tape and was measuring me to the instructions of the S/A. Once we got the measurements my wife pointed at the set and asked the S/A if she could get everything in that set to my sizes. The S/A without a flinch told my wife that wasn't a problem and when she got everything together she asked my wife if there was anything else she could help us. My wife was so upset with me that she forgot about her perfume and I told the S/A with my squeaky voice we needed the "Love" perfume.
We left the store and we went into a coffee shop, she instantly apologized for getting so aggressive and upset but doesn't understand why I get so embarrassed and weird when it comes to this stuff. I told her it's a small world and anyone of our friends or family members could have seen me in there. She told me that was my main problem that I would suspect that if someone sees me with anything fem they would automatically put 2+2 together and assume I crossdress. She said if anyone would have come up to us and ask what we were doing she would tell the person "nothing now but if you come to our house tonight the lights will be out and door locked and give a wink".
She said when she asked the S/A to measure me and while I was getting measured that everyone around seen and heard her and maybe they put on a little grin on there face but they can't assume anything, all they can do is speculate. When I act weird is when people are going to think I'm weird and suspect something and better to act natural and leave everyone guessing.
She said that I probably would have went home and regretted that I didn't get it because I was worried about what some strangers would have speculated about me, instead now I'm going home and going to enjoy the new set I got and not care what those strangers are speculating about.
She tells me over and over not to hold back and if I want something to go for it, if I don't succeed at least I tried.
She is right and she really does want me to fulfill my fantasies and do what I want not what others want. I don't know why I get that way, I quess I just have old school mentality.