First, I just want to thank everyone here for such great attitudes and and caring advice. I was very lucky to have found this site a few months ago. My introduction I posted in the "Member Introductions" section gives a pretty good intro to where i was when i joined this site. Anyway, ALOT has happened since I was preparing to come out to my wife at that time. My reasons for coming out was that I wanted to be able to fully enjoy myself as Debbi. But I realized it wouldn't be possible, knowing I was hiding this from my wife. We are a VERY open and EXCELLENT communicating twosome, and I am not good at hiding things well to begin with. So if she were to find this out on her own, our trust and communications would just be in shambles!
A short recap, I started dressing in my early 20's/late teens and did so on and off untill I married at 26. I began dressing agin during the 3rd or 4th yars of that marriage and was caught by my leaving a 2 minute video of myself dressed in the VCR. She freaked, I purged. she told her whole family and I was humilated and felt awful. Anyway, I stopped dressing and had actually supressed it so much, that I don't remember ever thinking about it over the next 13 years or so.
Been married now for about 5 years. I have always hated the styles that men HAVE to wear. I saw a pair of womens flared leg denim jeans at the store one day ( about 3 years ago) that i felt could easily be sold in the mens section. Sheesh! Why was it ok for guys to wears flared/belled pants in the 70's and now its SO wrong? silly! anyway, I tried them on and they looked and felt cool. ( Still no thoughts of dresing or being debbi at this point). I just like dthe look and wore them all the time. Bought a few more over the next couple of years. Painted my toes one day 2 years ago playing around and LIKED the look. Wife even said it looked cool. ( still no thoughts or desires). anyway fast forward to January of this year, and to this day, I dont really know what happened, but something clicked inside of me and all of the sudden, I wanted to be Debbi again. She had all but been forgotten and then all of the sudden i have this OVER whelming desire to dress and feel feminine. I went out and bought clothes that first week. Ordered a wig from the same store i bought my first wig from 13 years earlier. Started dressing on my days off when i was home alone. Took some pictures and was having a ball! But then reality sets in and I relaize that i can't do this unless I let my wife know about this side of me. And remember, I myslef hadn't realized it was there for so many years of putting out of my head.
I was determind to share this and spent the next few weeks reading up all i could on coming out to your SO. The things to expect, the questions that would arise and how best to present this whole thing. Well, this site was a HUGE find for me. i mainly read posts and replies from others that had gone through or were preparing to go through this.
I had a night planned to come out and was just one sentence aay from bein able to trun that corner, when all of the sudden, the conversation took a turn and I decided the timing wasn't right at that point. This happened 3 more time in the next week and the same result, conversation wasn't in the right direction.
All along, my fears were obviously mounting as each opportunity evaded me. I was prepared for the worst. But prepared with the right attitude, which was it was HER feeling that were the most important. since SHE was the one that was going to be exposed to something nobody expects.
Finally, on Saturday night, March 18th, I decided to give it another go. We had a planned one of our usual hang out nights at home. Had the fireplace going, candles lit, champagne on ice and great music playing. ( We do this alot at home together). The conversation this time didn't take a wrong turnm and i told her about my desire and love for dressing. I told her my history and of when i got caught, the supression and how i had been trying to find the right time toi tell her for over 3 weeks. Well, she blew me away with her reaction being 110% accepting and supportive and even going as far as taking side with CDs in as she was upset with people who had a problem with what a person decides they want to wear. It was an amazing night and totally caught me of guard as far as her reaction. I reassured her of the usual ideas that I'm straight, I'm not looking to get any body arts removed or added, ect. we had a wonderful evening and I was ( I still am) on cloud 69! the next morning she asked me if i still found her attractive and of course i do and I reassured her that i was and always have been SO attracted to her. I let her know that SHE is actually my mentor as far as looking good!
Since then, I have made it a point to NOT go over baord with my excitement. ( beleive me, I wanted to go out the next day and get my body waxed, get a professional makeover and take the next 2 weeks off from work and enjoy the thrills of being Debbi) Instead, I stepped back and realized that, I was VERY fortunate to have a wife that accepted and actually liked the idea. the last thing i didn't need to do was go overboard. i have been very low key with regard to debbi, i let my wife bring it up and then we talk about it. And she brings its fairly often and in a positive way. I don't dress around her very often and only do so if requested or the idea comes up mutually. I realize that she married me as her husband and as much as i love to look and feel feminine and pretty, I am her husband and that always comes first.
We went shopping together on a preplanned Saturday where we were going to buy us BOTh some makeup. And that day i will share in another post, as I probably should have shortened this one about 30 mins ago.
Anyway, thank you all for this GREAT place to come for advice and making new friends. you are all very dear to me even though we've never really talked. I Love you all! and having the wonderful support here from the GG's is just PRICELESS!!!!!!
Hugs, Debbi
