I agree with Kris.
I love dressing, my only issue is the cost of feminine attire.
You can spend $40-$50 on a bra, $20 on panties.
I have this other Tadashi dress I love and it is over $500.
Makeup, jewlery, skin care and shoes arg....
I have spent more on my feminine attire by far.
Financially yes turn off.
It has made me a much more outgoing person and changed my personality for the better. For that reason alone I wouldn't say no. I wonder if I would have come out of my shell as much on my own.
If it were a choice, then I would say no. I don't for a second believe it is a choice. This was proven to me in most emphatic fashion when I was in my 20s and had stopped dressing for 2 years, only to dress again. The internal, emotional, soul touching, earth shattering experience I had proved to me beyond a shadow of a doubt that it wasn't a choice.
The reasons I would choose no are that (1) society's discrimination against us is intense (and just witnessed again by someone local who has been victimized by extreme TG hate), (2) self acceptance has been a very hard journey and remains so, (3) the impact to people around me has generally been negative, and even slightly so with my incredible, accepting wife, and (4) living in constant fear of discovery by people who must not know.
While it is not a choice, what we choose to do about it is a choice. Our options for expressing our true selves might be limited, but it still is a choice. I prefer to think of the free will aspect of this as being that I am me, and I have the free will to stop repressing myself. Easier said than done. I don't think of it from the other direction; free will to not express myself.
A couple of years ago I would, without hesitation, said turn it off. Today, though, I would say no. The thought of not going out with some of the incredible friends I have made would definitely keep me in, not to mention getting to look nice.
Those that know me, though, know that I am going to throw the switch in a couple of months for a little while. A tough road to follow.
www.flickr.com/people/196660660@N08/
I don't believe I'd want to turn it off as I really do enjoy wearing these articles of clothing I've never before considered wearing. They hug me, they are soft to the touch, and they feel so nice. Aside from the clothing itself, when I put on the ritz (jewelry, wig, nails makeup), I feel as though I'm in a different world than what I've ever been in before.
It's never too late to enjoy a happy childhood.
Live each day as though it's your last 'cause one day you'll be right.
I'm finding the more feminine side of me...and I ❤️ this adventure.
Hi Betty, Interesting question, but my answer would be to keep my switch "Off". But I don't have a switch, so here I am with all of you. I don't hate it, it is just what it is.
The off switch would be easier for loved ones , family or friends and the consequences of being outed.But then a life of no glamour or being pretty(In my minds eye) seems miserable. It all has its pros and cons. Being switched on seems better.
Over time I have come to not only accept my trans nature but to embrace it. Perhaps if I had been asked this question some years ago I would have said off but now I would unhesitatingly say on.
We are what we are!! but yes here to enjoy and find our place in society at whatever level suits us the best, for some,yes there is a switch but for the majority no, my swtich is superglued" ON" and there to stay, and I am happy with it.
I started life a lost man now I am a found woman
re: "If you had the choice of being a crossdresser or not being one, what would your choice be?"
We all have the choice to be a crossdresser or not be one. If we are unhappy being a crossdresser, we can just stop putting on women's clothes. Unlike being tall or short, skinny or fat, or black or white, crossdressing is something we choose to do, not something we are. We can make the choice to stop if it causes us problems.
Krisi
I have a certain amount of stress in my life that's a direct effect of my desire (and willingness) to CD. Little things. I can't tell someone at work that I have a spare charger in my console because I don't want him finding a bra in there. I don't want a friend coming into my office because I can't explain the skirts and bras hanging on the chair. Before going out I stop and consider just how much I can get away with, is that amazingly comfy shirt ok or too feminine? Who's coming over, can I wear leggings or do I have to change to jeans? Nope, can't wear sandals to the whatever, my toenails are blue. Someone's at the door, Nope, can't answer dressed like this. Things like that.
Now it's true what Krisi said above, I do choose to wear what I wear, I could stop. But the desire is strong and even though it causes stress it also helps relieve stress, which then causes more stress, and so on, if that makes any sense. It's also true that I could quit caring what others think, but there would be ramifications that I'd rather avoid.
So to answer the question, life would be much simpler if I could flip that switch off, and I would if I could.
I came to dress fully and go out in public en femme later in life and enjoy it and am very comfortable with it. So for me, the switch stays in the on position 90% of the time.
"Care about what other people think of you and you will always be their prisoner" - Lao Tzu
“If you had the choice of being a crossdresser or not being one, what would your choice be?”
I haven chosen and continue to be a crossdresser until the fun runs dry or personal health makes the choice for me.
“Imagine having such a switch, the desire to dress up on/off. How would you set it?”
For me there is a switch usually flicked on when I think dressing up for an activity would be fun to do.
IDK. I think being a "crossdresser" has kept me from being a callus @#$-hole. Expanded my mind beyond myself. Plus putting on nylons & a bra brings the biggest smile to my face. If I wasn't a crossdresser, I would miss out on all those extra smiles that come across my face.
Does that make sense?
...probably not.
Lol.
So I like dressing like girl. BIG DEAL!
I've thought about this, I think I?d probably set the switch to off. Then I'd purge all of my male clothing. Yes I said male. I don't feel crossdressed when wearing female clothing. I do feel weird and unnatural when wearing male clothing.
What do I do on days when I don't crossdress? I have no idea.
Would leave it switched to 'ON.' If ONLY crossdressing was the biggest problem I had in life.
Nope its part of what makes me who I am. I will keep it.
If society did not shame those who are trans or cross dressing then CDing would not be a problem.
Last edited by Kitty Sue; 01-20-2023 at 10:38 PM.
Just another man in a dress
I don't think I would want to shut it off, I enjoy my time dressed and of the feelings of pantyhose and women's clothing. I only would wish I could control wanting more, staying in the home and making it private but it's human nature to want more. It started with a dark night drive, then put gas and air in the tires. I want to stay in the closet but I can't seem to control my temptation to want and experience more. That would be the only reason I would love to shut it off.
Maria, I have the same 'problem' (not sure I want to call it a problem). For so much of my life, if I did anything but underdress, I would be at home. I had the occasional adventure doing something risque, but generally speaking, once I was all dressed, it was stuck in the cage at home. In the last year, I've started venturing out beyond this. With every new adventure, I'm feeling a bit of "well that's not much of an accomplishment now that I've done it. Too easy. On to the next!" and so I keep wanting more. I'm not sure if there is a limit. I'm also not sure how hard I want to find out.
I suppose the very nature of a switch is that it has two settings. While at work, the switch is set to off in terms of dressing (although sometimes I will wear panties if the fog is a little thick).
On evenings and weekends, the switch is almost always set to "on." On weekday evenings I change immediately into a bra, panties and 3/4 slip at an absolute minimum. Weekends are reserved for getting fully dolled up with makeup, hair etc. I love the fact that a part of my informal to-do list for today was to "wash tits." That and get a pedicure. Old nail polish off and Kyoto Pearl will be the order of the day!
I wouldn't change that for the world!
The most common form of despair is not being who you are. - Soren Kierkegaard
If I had a switch, I'd change it out to a rheostat so I could dial up or down as I choose. I am fairly comfortable with where I am right now with my crossdressing but I also like my male mode. I would not want to be one or the other. Both of my personas complement each other.
We can only achieve what we dare to reach for.
Without hesitating I would still be a cross dresser! I think that this activity has given me a deeper empathy for what my wife goes through on a daily basis.I understand her makeup routine and appreciate how long it takes. I appreciate the effort she makes to stay fit so she looks good. i understand the pain from wearing heels, judging looks from women and men and the assumption that many make about blonde busty women. I also understand not having anything to wear, the frustration of getting a run in her pantyhose. That just without thinking to deeply on the subject.
Why, not being one, of course. Oh, I fully understand the need for a lot of people to adjust their feelings in order to feel good about themselves but I have no delusions that crossdressing makes my life better or easier. It's just something that gets in the way in my 'pursuit of happiness'. I didn't ask for it, didn't want it, and I'm not going to try to pretend that I'm thrilled that this happened to me. I will just deal with it in the only way that I know how; by dressing as I feel I should, in order to satisfy the never ending desire that I can't make go away.
Perhaps you might interview some non-crossdressing males, and see how many of them would choose to be crossdressers, with the almost constant urge to wear pretty female clothing. I seriously doubt you'd get many positive responses.
Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.
What Sometimes Miss said.
Said it better than I did.
I would definitely still be one, I absolutely love it (wearing lingerie) and it's made my relationship with my boyfriend that much better and stronger. Wouldn't change it for the world.
I would stay the way I am with the only exception being if my wife suddenly decided she wanted me to stop.
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