Wife might suspect I shave my legs

[Jenniferr]

Recently, while my wife was out of town for two weeks, my fem self took over and against my usual better judgment, I shaved my legs top of foot to groin. It made me feel so feminine to do it and the feel of nylon stockings gliding up my silky smooth legs was exquisite. She was home a week and had not noticed or at least did not say anything. I?m not a hairy person and I occasionally shave areas of my legs so that in after a week?s time, they look pretty clean. My wife keeps a pad of paper and pen on her nightstand to jot down things she remembers as she is drifting off. Three days ago I discovered she had written ?shave legs? on a note. I might have passed it off as she wanted to remind herself but then I started thinking how many women have to write notes to remind themselves to shave their legs? Also the note was flipped over?I don?t know if she did that to use the back side or if she did not want me to see it. Then I started freaking out that it was a reminder to herself to ask me if I am shaving my legs. She has known of my CDing since we were dating, and periodically would participate with me, but that devolved into DADT. While she could accept me wearing womens? clothes she would not accept female activities like using makeup or even just pretending I was the girl in the relationship. So I was certain shaving my legs would be another forbidden female activity and we were about to go to war again.
So I am curious what other crossdressers? take on this is? Should I be worried or am I overthinking this?

[docrobbysherry]

Neither!

If u want to dress, discuss it with her, not us, before you're caught! Like you're already worried has happened!

RE: Her "note to self". If I have to write notes to remind myself to trim my toe nails after my showers. Why wouldn't she?

[char GG]

It seems that she already knows that you shaved your legs. Since she has known about your CDing since you were dating, but are living DADT, what are you wondering about? Just ask her.

Edit: The note that she wrote certainly wasn't a note reminding herself to shave her own legs, lol!

[Karren H]

I would just keep shaving and see if it becomes the new normal. A lot of men are into manscaping these days and shave just about everywhere on the body. If she asks the, tell her you are just being trendy!

[DianeT]

From what you told us the inescapable conclusion is that your wife wants to remind herself that she has to shave your legs.

[kimdl93]

You have shaved your legs, so i think it is safe to assume she noticed. Its probably also safe to assume that if she wanted to talk about it, she would have.

It seems that this is bothering you more than it is bothering her. So, as others are suggesting, talk with her.

[GretchenM]

I think you may be assuming something that is not really in evidence. It is more likely to be a reminder to herself to do that than a reminder that you "violated" something she does not want you to do. It is natural to wonder about the meaning of the note, but I would just leave it be and see if she brings it up. It is easy to fall into that trap when you know you are doing something she may not like on the basis of other negative indications she may have toward your needs to dress to some extent. But presuming something that is not true would likely be viewed more negatively by her because that is an afront to her values. It could be taken as a criticism of her view - not good.

[Cheryl T]

TALK TO HER!
Don't guess, don't drive yourself crazy wondering and don't look for advice here.

Talk to her. She already knows you dress.

[Heather76]

You're overthinking this. If she says anything, tell her the truth. If she doesn't say anything, don't give it another thought. She knows you CD. Shaving one's legs is generally a part of the experience. If she asks why you shave them, a simple (and correct) answer is shaved legs make wearing nylons so much nicer.

[Paula_56]

Own it, let the chips fall where they may.

I have the same situation and each time she finds something, she eventually just adjusts.

I no longer see being transgender as a problem to be solved. I am not doing anything wrong. I’ve cast off society’s condemnation of being transgender and realized that I am a good person and that part of my personality and character involves being transgender. Attributes I see missing in many men, such as nurturing, kindness, compassion and cooperation are parts of my personality that I believe come from my feminine side.

[Gillian Gigs]

I will add my piece and agree with the others, talk to her. Open and honest communication is always the best method in a marriage relationship. You are already in a DADT situation, so what can a little honesty do? If she doesn't like the idea of shaved legs, then try trimming the hair instead. I trim, or shave all of my body hair. My arms are always at 3mm, my legs epilated clean in the winter and a 3mm trimmed in the summer. Good communication should have win-win compromises, so everybody gets something.

[Stephanie47]

Not much you can do about it. Since she knows you're a cross dresser what's your alternatives? None! Own it. If I were you I'd keep shaving. I see many men with hairless legs and hairless chests. Me? I am blessed with no hair follicles on my calves and thighs. My father was the same way, so it is genetic. My daughter asked me when she was 35+ years old if I shaved me legs. I kidded her that it took her this long to notice. Then I explained the lack of hair follicles. Due to diabetic neuropathy I wear shorts maybe nine months of the year and nobody else has asked.

PS: My wife has made comments over the years about my lack of hair on my legs and underarms. She says "It is wasted on a guy!"

[OrdinaryAverageGuy]

I question how your wife of all people would NOT notice if you shaved your legs. Yeah, she knows you did it. The lack of questioning is what I find interesting. Either she flat out doesn't care (then why the note?) or she doesn't want to bring it up for some reason.

I first shaved as a joke, I was tired to the point of almost being drunk (I wasn't though) and thought it was a good idea. The next day, realizing that I'm not going to get away with this, I opened up with "Well, I did something!" I think once she realized it didn't involve lawyers and handcuffs she was relieved enough to laugh. Then it turned out she loved my smooth legs even more than I did, who woulda guessed?

Figure out a way to talk to her, hopefully you can keep it light and maybe even silly.

[Crissy 107]

Women do not miss much, I agree with the others, have a talk.

[Diane P]

I have to disagree with everyone here who is telling you to talk to her. You said she knew about your CD'ing when you were dating but it has since moved into DADT. Since it is DADT I say don't talk to her about it, if she wants to talk to you about it let her bring it up. The note could be about noticing you legs were shaved but if she has broached the subject just let it go, if you bring it up you could make things worse.

Just my two cents worth.

[DianeT]

DADT doesn't have to be a permanent thing. Talking and being honest about your feelings can go a long way. I wonder how many CDers are locked in a DADT of their own making, not because they dress, but because they can't be honest with their wives, and their wives know it.
I think that real DADT (the no-talk version) is the worst. It lets some CDer think everything is on the table (since nothing was discussed), which usually worsens the situation since GGs will pick up on a lot of things and not necessarily mention them, and it gives little to no chance to the couple, because without talk and intimacy there is no way the situation can evolve favorably. I suppose that once a CDer in DADT starts wearing female stuff like panties 24/7 and the spouses sleep in separate rooms, it can only go downhill, talking less and less to the wife and posting more messages here.

[alwayshave]

Jennifer, If she is aware that you crossdress, I don't see an issue.

[Gillian Gigs]

DianeT, I think you are spot on with your comments. Only open communication will let a person know exactly where everything sits.

Alwayshave, you are also correct in asking if your spouse knows how active you are in your dressing.

[Rhonda Jean]

I agree that it's probably a "note to self".

A note on leg shaving, though. If you're going to do it (and I think everybody should), you've got to commit to it. I've shaved my legs nearly every day for over 50 years. She may tolerate shaved legs, but stubble is just not cool. Even if you thing she may not notice shaved legs, she'll darn sure notice stubble.

[AmeeJo]

My wife does not associate my leg shaving with my crossdressing. I am about halfway through the process of having all of my body hair from my waist up lasered and I have been shaving my legs for a while now. We are definitely in a DADT situation but she actually helps me shave my legs in the areas I have a tough time reaching. I think she likes the look on me but will never admit it! Lol!!

[MistyCD]

My wife did not know about my dressing. I was also a volunteer firefighter and had the hair worn off my legs by the hip boots we used to wear. That took care of half of my hairy legs..... So instead of shaving them all at once, I did it in stages. I used an electric shaver which could remove a little here and there. for example if the hair length is a half inch, I would trim it down to 1/4 of an inch... leave it for a week and shave it again. Slowly it disappeared... And after a few months of seeing my hair disappear, she never caught on.

[Bea_]

From my viewpoint and experience, sometimes you have to just decide whether you are an extension of her or have a will of your own. I got a wild hair one day last year and shaved from the neck down, minus my arms (which I trimmed). Like your wife, mine never really said anything about how it looked, but would comment on how prickly I was every time she we came close to any kind of intimacy. Shaving only leaves me smooth for about 8-12 hours so I gave up shaving. I'd love to be able to have it all removed permanently, but it's not in the budget for now.

For me, my having hairless legs or not isn't her choice. I chose to shave, she never complained about the look. But, the fact that the stubble got to be a problem made me rethink and I'm still working on a solution. I'm well aware that she prefers a hairier me, but certain circumstances have caused her opinion to carry less weight for me. I'm not out to offend her desires, but I have learned to give my own desires more weight than I have in the past.

[Jamie001]

The parts of your body that you choose to shave are not her choice. She needs to understand that.

[CrossKimmy]

I believe that she does more than suspect if you two share a bed and you wear something other than pants. I?m deeply closeted but I shave my legs every day. My SO likes it and thinks it?s much better than having body hair. I agree!

[BethanyCross]

Jennifer, they are your legs. I would keep up with the shaving especially before you get stubble. If it really bothers her she will tell you eventually. If so, tell her the truth - you wanted to see how it felt and you found out that you like having smooth legs.