In a DADT relationship, there can be small changes that go unnoticed. That phone call to tell you she is coming home early is meaningful, but how often is it not recognized for the "heads up" that it really is? Just now she told me she may be home between events, but not sure.
For the last 6 months or so, she has been folding my panties before putting them in my drawer, where before they were just tossed in from the dryer.
While I would love to break out of DADT, I fear the consequences too much to test the waters.