Ruined my Vacation with the wife!

[Robin777]

If this has been going on for a while, maybe marriage counseling would help you and your wife figure out why your marriage is that way.

[SherriePall]

Judy -- knowing your situation, I can understand the responses you got. Especially, after all the cponcessions you have made in regards to your dressing. I very seldom open my mouth about things like that unless my wife goes first. And then I am very careful in how I answer. Otherwise, I am very lucky that my wife knows, does my laundry of my unmentionables, and sees some of my cosmetics. She had not, however, seen dressed and probably never will. The only solution is to stay calm and quiet.

[Debs]

how long are you girls going to dodge the elephant in the room wait 2 years , 5 years , 10, sometimes 20. It wont go away !!!!!!!! , even DAT just puts it in the oven to bake. I hid and squeek like a mouse, in a few years itll be ok (loop). sorry been there, hid, lied, stashed, done the lot. Dont waist years doing this, sort it out, or it will seek you out !!, phew rant over. stop the loop, accept what your are or lie, hide your stash, tell her you wont do it again, rinse repeat.

[Rhonda Jean]

It strikes me that I'm seeing the other side of what my wife was hearing from her friends, encouraging her to ditch me. Wanting to be supportive of her, understanding of her situation, and the way to do that was to trash me and probably tell her what she wanted to hear.

We can all see the problem, and Judy can, too. I hate to see the end of a marriage, particularly over this. I hope that there's a way to save the marriage, for workable compromises, and for happiness to be reclaimed on both sides. I do think that the relationship can become so mired in the problem that one can't see beyond it. I'm not a "run to a therapist" kind of person, but there are times when DIY just does not work. It might not work, but it might. That is enough of a reason to run to a therapist/counselor.

[CeCe]

Bottom line for me is I just do not understand women. Far too often, my girlfriend chews my head off about ridiculous things. We talk about it before going to bed, and we discover that it was not so much the things I said or did, but other things going on in her life with her mother or sister, that made her ready to fly off the handle. Men compartmentalize life events like slices of pie, but women's emotions ravel like spaghetti.
Your wife's explosion might have had little to do with your comment. It might have been more about external triggers. Sometimes these explosions are more about the timing than anything you said or did.
Your wife and my girlfriend get caught up in their feelings, which then overwhelms their logic and charity in how they treat us. What I have been doing lately is letting her lash and then ask her, "now can we talk about my hurts over this episode?" My girlfriend tends to chill when I explain that her over-the-top anger over small disturbances hurt me too.

[FrannGurl]

If that's how it actually went, it sounds pretty harsh.

[Judy-Somthing]

I don't mean to be a complainer but, I miss dressing so much.

[Debbie Denier]

I think you are frustrated at not being able to dress rather than complaining. I share your frustration of having a non accepting wife and not being able to dress . It can be stressful.