Where do you draw the line??? or How to deal with Pink Fog Overload

[Raychel]

Where do you draw the line???

Just a bit of a back story. For the last few years I have done a bunch of traveling for one reason or another.
There really has not been a long time where I was home. I was always busy.
Just doing the things that Ray has to do to get thru life.

Well for the last 3 weeks I have been home, the first week was dog sitting for my sister.
With the frequent walks and such it was almost entirely Ray chores.
When the time was right, I took the dog back to my sisters, we went out for dinner that night, then I drove back home.
The next couple of days I worked a bit, a bit of a gig job. On Monday I had Covid symptoms.
Took a test, YIKES positive.

Now this means COVID isolation time for me.

Whatever will I do while isolating from the world.
Maybe time for Raychel to be around for a while.
Over the course of the last 2 weeks, Raychel has been here full time.
All but one day I just felt too lousy to dress, I just thru on a pair of guy shorts and a t-shirt

Now tonight I am watching the NASCAR race, dressed as Raychel of course,
and I think to myself, this is really how I feel most comfortable. This just feels normal.
I totally would have been fine without any guy clothes at all for the last 2 weeks.
And it is looking like it may be another week to come

Thankfully Covid is mostly gone I think. Except for sore muscles in my chest and back from the coughing.
Seems like this may be the only side effect so far.
Just a MAJOR case of pink fog.

Am I letting this go to far?
Maybe CA (Crossdressers Anonymous) you know like AA, but for crossdressers, Haha

What are your thoughts?
How do you control the time so all parts of life seem ok?
How do you accept or create a happy middle ground?

[bridget thronton]

Glad you have survived covid - not sure how I deal with balance and dressing, sometimes I simply decide it is time to throw on a dress even if it is only for an hour or two (luckily I do not have to hide my dressing from my wife or family)

[JulieC]

I'm really glad to hear you're getting through covid!!!

Balance is a tricky thing. But, it's really about life in general. Remove crossdressing from this, and let it be any topic/hobby/interest. I don't know, let's say it's fishing. How do you balance your life activities so fishing doesn't predominate? What's the measure? Does it affect your ability to do other things that need doing in life? If fishing is doing that, there's a problem. Does it affect your ability to do things in life...that you want to do? That's a more difficult question. You have to weigh things against each other, and decide what is important to you. This is true for all things.

In my life to this point in time, I've never been able to crossdress as much as I like, as often as I like. I've had some moments in time. A few weeks ago I was able to fully crossdress for three days straight, outside of an hour or so a day when I had to venture out into the public. I have another opportunity coming up in a couple of weeks where I will have two days where I can crossdress fully. When the three days came to an end, I didn't want to stop crossdressing. When the upcoming two days comes to an end, I know I will not want to stop crossdressing. My wife and I have had several talks about my crossdressing in the context of retirement/empty-nest. This is not around the corner, but it's in the not too distant future. I've expressed that it's likely I will want to crossdress a lot when that time comes, possibly 100% for a while. I expect this will subside, and the amount that I crossdress will decline to some sort of subjective balance. My wife is ok with this, but we also know there is a balance out there somewhere where we are both happy and content. We don't know what that is yet; we'll see.

[audreyinalbany]

my wife says "What do want, to able to Dress anytime you want?" well, yeah, I guess. But she thinks it would be way more that I do. I find I tend to scratch the itch after a few days and I think total freedom to present would probably wear off after a while. Not that I'd stop dressing. I jsut think that the novelty of dressing whenever the urge struck would diminish over time.

[Raychel]

thanks for the comments so far.


JulieC:
I am retired now and when I am home I can dress pretty much whenever I want.
I live alone, so it really is not an issue.
I do fear that if I let this go I would end up a hermit, living inside dressed all the time.
I really do prefer to be dressed in womens clothes. But living in a mobile home park
really does not make it easy for me to go out.

audreyinalbany:
This is what I initially thought for a long time as well, that after some time the feeling would fade
But now as I get older, It seems to be getting stronger. Definitely not diminishing

[Di]

how do you accept or create a happy middle ground?

My 2 cents is do what makes you happy.
Find time for Raychel time and incorporate it in your life.
You only have one life.
I will watch for others advice
You are doing nothing wrong.
Just look even being sick with Covid Raychel made it tolerable.
We will have to think of ways to make it happen more without Covid lol.

[docrobbysherry]

I'm so glad you're feeling better, Raychel!

As far as your dressing? I don't think I have any good advice for u. I live alone, too. But, I just a CD. So, dressing a few times a month satisfies my dressing compulsions.

I do leave for T events in daylite often. To avoid the neighbors seeing Sherry I wear a jacket over my dress, wear shades and a cap. And, put my wig on at my destination!

[Diane P]

Raychel, I don't think you are letting it go too far at all. I retired a year ago in Jul after my wife passed, since I had been working to take care of her and provide for her I really didn't have any reason to keep working. I had underdressed for the last 20 years of our 28 year marriage. Finally started fully crossdressing Sep of last year. Since I live in a small town my crossdressing was strickly at home, which I did pretty much all the time for a couple months. Then just kind of stopped. Found this website in Oct and enjoyed reading the posts. In Feb heard about a monthly Girls Night Out in OKC, which was happeing in a couple weeks in Mar. Went to that and had a great time.

Have gone over now for 4 out of the last 7 months, in fact back in Jun went over the day before the GNO to have dinner with two of the girls I've gotten to be friends with. While walking to the restaurant walked past several people Ihat I knew could tell I was a guy dressed as a girl and didn't care what they thought, which surprised me. After the GNO the 9th of this month was driving home and stopped to put gas in, still dressed as Diane. Again I was sure that people could tell I was a man dressed as a woman, and again didn't care what they thought. After getting home I decided that I need to start dressing every day as Diane again. Which I have been doing. Shortly after I started crossdressing the thought crossed my mind that it feels right, normal and natural to be wearing women's clothes.

Something that I think may also have helped me get to the "I don't care what they think" mentality is that, at the urging of another member on the forums, over the last couple months I've been going out dressed and taking pictures of myself at a couple places here in Western Oklahoma and then posting the pictures in the Pictures and Video forum.

[char GG]

Sounds like you have a good attitude. Just be yourself, get well, and have fun.

[kimdl93]

No, I do not think you have taken anything too far.

Everyone has to set limits appropriate to them. For example, I limit my spending to items I am confident I will wear in public. There isn’tmuch point in buying nice clothes, just to take space in a closet.

Everyone has a different balance point. Locally, there are places I will go in girl mode and others that I avoid. Some co-workers know, some do not. Some family members know, others do not. I do what works for me. You do you

[Raychel]

Wow, Thanks for your comments everyone, and especially thanks for the support

Di:
Thanks for your thoughts. Yes Raychel sure did help me get thru Covid, at least mentally. If you have to be cooped up in the house. Might as well dress how you like.

Docrobbysherry:
There was a long time when I would only get to dress a few times a month, And I managed to make that work. This time I have had almost 2 weeks to be full time Raychel. I have to say I am really enjoying that. Not sure that I will get out of the house very often here, The neighbors are way too close. I did get out a few times when I lived in Massachusetts and in Tennessee. I could get out without the neighbors seeing. Pretty hard to do that here.

Diane P:
Sorry for your wives passing. That can be life changing for sure.
Living in a small town can certainly add to the challenges. My Tennessee house was that way, A very small town. But I lived in a very quite neighborhood. So I was able to get out on the rare occasion. That is so great you get to the GNO events. I have tried checking here, Surprising I have not found any in this area. This is a decent size city, I would think there would be events, But I haven?t found any.

Char GG:
Thanks so much for your words of wisdom.

Kimdl93:
thanks for you comment. I guess you are right, just relax and do what works for me.


PS: About 4 hours of Ray time today
I worked on cleaning out my shed.
Then shower and back to Raychel

[DAVIDA]

Hey Raychel.
I know you are aware of my situation. I am able to do whatever I want to do, whenever I want to.
You have seen what pink fog can do in my situation.
My "closet" was an entire room full of clothes and over three hundred pairs of shoes.
Jean said it was like being in a shoe store that only carried size 12 shoes.
Now, that was overload for a long time.
Now, I can't even remember the last time I bought a dress or a pair of shoes.
Since I broke my ankle, and the last knee replacement, (thanks for the help with the AC in the truck) I have not worn high heels, and my Davida things are just a very small fraction of what was.
I could dress every day, all the time if I wanted to and, as you know, Jean does not care.(love that woman)
Now, I just do the MIAD thing for a couple of hours in the morning, then change and start the day.
As far as the neighbors and others in my family, they know about me, and I don't care, but I do, if that makes sense.
Just do you. I know that may be a simple thing say, but tough to do.
In the long run, you need to be happy with whoever you are and whatever you do.
You are not harming anyone. We do not know how long we have on this side of the dirt, so we might as well be, or try to be, as happy as we can.
Believe me, I know it can be a struggle in our own minds to get there, and what others think is always a part of the puzzle.
You are a very good person, and you deserve to be happy.
Take care of yourself and get over this covid crap.
Just know that I am here for you whenever you need me to be.

[CDMargret]

As long as your are happy, safe and feeling good how can you go to far? I don't think you have. I dress daily yet shouldn't mow the lawn dressed no matter how badly I would like. Muggles for neighbors and children in the area. Course if I was passable that may be different or not. At home be your best you. I do. Some folks don't wear anything at all at home and least we have a dress on...lol

[Karren H]

I would not draw lines because you will always be erasing them and drawing new ones.

[alwayshave]

Raychel, I don't think you went too far. Unless your dressing is causing some other issue, I don't see a problem.

[JocelynJames]

I guess I draw the line of not dressing(noticably) at work or with family other than with my wife. I had a case of pink fog late last week after being goaded by a CD friend to join her thrifting this Wednesday. As a result I dressed Friday night and Saturday night. That hasn?t happened in about 9-10 years. Of course that friend still wants to go thrifting, but my face is rough after double shaving those two days.

[Raychel]

Thanks to everyone for the suppoort and comments

Davida:
You are a good friend and have a great wife there, Thanks for your support so much.
The MIAD thing is all I have ever done. Not sure my little world is ready to see that.
I am sure the neighbors here would not care one way or another, But I do care what they think.
Crazy how society has taught us that this is so wrong. Even though the world has changed so much,
I guess this is still ingrained in my mind. You are right, only so long on this side of the grass.
I just have to brush off this too much feeling and enjoy I guess. Thanks so much for your support

CDMargaret:
No children in this neighborhood, So that is not an issue. All older folks, most of them are 10 to 20 years older than me.
I suppose you are right, At least I have a dress on,

Karren Hutton:
Wise words, I spend too much time erasing lines and drawing new ones

alwaysshave:
Thanks for your comment. No other issues as far as I know.

JocelynJames:
The pink fog has hit here real bad, It has been over 2 weeks now that the guy side has not been here at all,
except for a few short periods. Shopping with a friend sounds delightful.
You are so luck to have a freind that you can do that with,

[Heather76]

Rachel, glad you're getting over the Covid. Since you are retired and live alone, I'll ask you the same questions I'd ask myself.
1. Would I like to present as Heather 24/7?
2. Would I feel comfortable doing so in my current neighborhood?
3. Am I willing to lose some friends over it?
4. Am I prepared for my family to know I CD?

In my case, I would love to present as Heather 24/7.
I'm not sure how my neighbors would react. I'm sure some would be okay with it but most wouldn't be as it's an area with a lot of retirees (and we know how most older people feel about CDers). If I didn't feel welcome here, I can easily move. Can you?
Yes, anyone that cannot accept me was never a true friend. They were basically a good acquaintance.
Yes. I could handle my family knowing. I believe they know me well enough to know I'm a good person who loves each of them unconditionally. I wouldn't expect them to understand - just to accept Heather.


I know this answers no questions; but, I hope it gives you something to think about.

[Raychel]

Thanks for your reply Heather
Definitely something to think about.

Would I like to present as Raychel all the time?
I think not full time. It would be blended in between. Although you can see from my avatar
I am certainly not passable. And going out in the world could pose an obstacle

Would I feel comfortable doing so in my current neighborhood?
Not really, Too many people too close by. I doubt there would be any issue. Just the behind the scenes talking.
I dont think I want that going on. I could easily move. But thta would be life changing. I would move south again
and that would make a huge disconnect with some very close friends.

Am I willing to lose some friends over it?
Most all my friends know now. So I dont think that would be an issue. They haven't seen me dressed, but they all know.

Am I prepared for my family to know I CD?
Except for 2 of my brothers, my family knows. I doubt there would be any issue there.
They all live a minimum of 270 miles away anyways.

[Geena75]

Too far?

I have applied the measurement of what I would/should be doing that I am NOT doing because succumbing to pink fog. We hint a lot about missing dressing opportunities, but for most of us there is a lot more out there. My summers are very busy, so I had to keep the fog at bay. As the year winds down, I look to see more opportunities to take a walk in the fog.

If you aren't missing out on other activities, and still get to enjoy dressing up, I would say there is no problem.

[Stephanie47]

When I retired and my wife was still working I succumbed to the "Pink Fog." I'd drop my wife off at work (non-driver she be) and head home to be June Cleaver for the day. It was great for domestic chores, but no outside work got finished for months. We had plenty of good meals and cakes but the chores piled up. After awhile I just stared at the mess outside and decided to get into a more balanced routine. That modified routine lasted for a good number of years. Then my wife full retired. Now I'm on the other extreme. The fog is here, but it ain't Pink anymore.