Currently wasting an opportunity to go out

[AndreaCalifCD]

Not really sure where I'm going with this.
So I'm sat here, showered, had a decent good close shave, hands are smelling nice from coconut moisturizer, hair is washed.
Wearing leggings, flats, bra and forms and a lovely floral top. Was planning to go out and do a few things, like going to Bath and Body Works to pick up a few items.

Now? Just don't feel like it/can't be bothered.
Was even thinking of trying the food court at a local mall. But I'm thinking I'll just have something at home instead.
I try to go out (fairly) regularly, at least once or twice a week. If an opportunity comes up to go out, I don't like to waste/squander it. Today I just don't feel like it.
Anybody else ever feel the same?
And, do you then regret not taking opportunities to go out (or do something) en-femme when they present themselves?
I know for certain it won't be happening tomorrow either, as my wife is taking the day off. So that means next opportunity will (probably) be Monday.
Nope, just not feeling it today.

[Debs]

What you need is someone to meet, are there no lgbt groups near you, going out on your own does get you like that. I started by going to my local lgbt bars, now when I go out there are loads of girls (ctossdressers) I know. I even meet to go out shopping with them in the afternoons. I can go out on my own now at night and walk into any of the many lgbt bars where I go and I will know someone. It changes your life when you have girlfriends to have some fun with.

[Emily in the south]

Totally agree with Debs. I wish it were true for me in my area.
I have to travel 200 miles to go out with other girls, and most of the time, it has proved difficult to get them to go out & do anything. I'm having much better luck with the gg girls I have met on my outings.

Fortunately for me, my motivation level & enthusiasm to go out en femme has not wavered. Just last night, found out about a local bar / pizza restaurant the had a drag bingo night, Lol. Got all dolled up, and had some dinner & fun for the night.

Emily

[kimdl93]

If it feels like a chore, then give yourself a break. There is no obligation to anyone, not even to yourself.

[Rhonda Jean]

An ongoing saga for me. It's getting easier and easier to just not do it, yet I still miss it. Got a pedicure yesterday, so I have red toes. Other than the fact that I needed a pedicure just for basic self care, I got nothing out of it and it means nothing to me to have polished toes. For decades I've been getting a mani pedi every 6 or 8 weeks and it got to where it was not a thrill, but I still got some feeling of satisfaction our of it, and enjoyed being among other women, chatting, etc. at the nail salon. Now, nothing. I couldn't tell you how long it's been since I fully dressed. I'm hoping with the change of seasons I'll at least get out in my usual leggings and tunic top and flip flops. Seems like a pretty low bar. I want my mojo back, but it's not happening. Tried to force it for quite a while. Now I don't even try.

[Maria 60]

Well it is kind of hard to figure out even myself at times there is opportunity and I'm just not feeling it and then if for whatever reason it can't happen I want to.
It really is a funny but confusing situation and that has happened so many times

[Sometimes Steffi]

Just to emphasize the idea of having girl friends or gurl friends.

I'm in a couple of TG Meetup groups in the DC area. We go out together to vanilla places and often have 50 gurls there, plus a few GG/SOs. Once we had almost 100. These Meetups are the highlight of my social calendar. But, sometimes I'm just not into it, especially when the logistics of dressing at a friend's to hide my CDing from my DADT wife. TBH, she knows that I CD and I tell her when I go out to a Meetup, but that's all she wants to know, except when I'm coming home.

She doesn't want to see me dressed because she will never be able to un-see it.

[alwayshave]

Andrea, My need to dress can ebb and flow. It take a long time to do my makeup and dress and if I don't have a goal, I don't bother.

[Maid_Marion]

Being full time and retired, it was nearly sunset before I went out for groceries yesterday. Gave myself a close shave and changed into an outfit with a skirt before heading out.
I usually shop in the morning, but shopping well after the evening rush hour is also a good time to avoid the crowds where I live.

[GretchenM]

Andrea, I think Debs is correct in that going it alone can lack in the 'FUN" element. Giving yourself a break can also help, as Kim said. And there is sometimes an ebb and flow depending on what is going on in your personal life. Everybody who responded offers a good explanation and remedy. But the point is this is a behavior and not a need like eating food. But it can be like a craving for chocolate or a particular pastry or even Lima beans if you love those. Crossdressers are not of the opposite sex and even transgender folks are not. Those who have transitioned are closer but still don't qualify as of the sex they identify with. They do identify with the identity that fits them best which may, by the way, also be strongly associated with the opposite sex. If sexually male they are closer to matching the identity of those of the opposite sex even though they do not purely match the sex. Thus most of us here have an affinity for the female-like identity even though we are sexually male. Variability is to be expected as circumstances in your life change. Virtually nobody is purely male or female in terms of identity and gender behavior even though they are pure in terms of sexuality. Sexuality is pretty much either/or; gender is all over the place with as many blends as there are people. Because everybody is different in terms of gender having generalized expectations is like chasing rainbows.

Solution to your problem? First, don't worry about it. Try some of the solutions that others have suggested here especially going out with others. Besides that is quite safe these days and going alone can be pretty risky.

[docrobbysherry]

Andrea, I live in the OC, too. However, I'm a CD not a trans. As such I don't EVER consider dressing up to go shopping at the mall or any other vanilla venue. That sounds like punishment, not enjoyment to me!
I only dress for special occasions and prefer T friendly venues!

However, there is a group of us CD's and trans that attend various events together in LA and the OC. One regular one is T Girl nite at Hamburger Mary's in Long Beach, the 1st Sat. of every month. The next event there will be huge! As it's their yearly Halloween, costume party on Oct. 7! That should have over 300 dressers there.

A small group of us also has plans to visit the Blonde tribute band performance in Garden Grove the evening of Sep. 30th. PM me if u want to attend and we'll get a ticket for u and give u the details!

[JesseVF]

Wow Docrobbysherry your first paragraph really has me thinking about my own motivations and desires.
As far as ebb and flow for me I?m pretty consistently miad at home in evenings but do have the ?not feeling it vibe? sometimes- especially when I?m somehow sensing my wife needs a break. However urge/needs always return pretty quickly.
I think as many have suggested the being with other people route would be wonderful - I have never done that, and don?t believe I would ever be brave enough.
It?s so nice to have this space to be able to read so many perspectives, and talk out loud about them.
Jesse new member