? Have you ever wondered why you like to dress like a woman? All the time. I used to wonder how I could make it stop. Now I just wonder why it gives me such joy.
? Do you believe you were influenced in childhood or adolescence? I think so. I was the youngest of 5 with three older brothers, then my sister who was closer to my age. When dad and the boys went off to do "guy" stuff I was usually relegated to hanging with my sister because I was too young. I also heard quite frequently my parents tell the story that I was supposed to have been born a girl ... to the point the had no boys names even considered when I was born so I was "Baby M" for almost a week.
I will admit that I was that boy in the drab underwear who noticed a pair of my sister's panties on the bathroom floor. I still remember vividly seeing the color and print of the fabric and feeling the texture of the fabric and being almost overcome ... I HAD to know what it was like to wear them, even if I might get in trouble for doing so. I HAD to know. It was amazing and empowering. A few weeks later I HAD to know what wearing her bra felt like. Then pantihose, the a dress, then lipstick, then ....
? Have you ever had any kind of therapy to find out more about it? Twice. The first time was back in the early 90s and my wife had discovered my secret. I told her I would "get help". I went in wanting to be "cured" so I would never need to do this wierd and disgusting thing. He told me it was "just the way I was wired" and there was no "cure". I was positive this guy was a quack and never went back.
About 10 years ago I was in a very stressful work situation and found great calming when I dressed. I had learned a lot more about crossdressing since my first go round and was no wondering if going farther into transitioning was for me. We had some amazing discussions about my dressing, my gender and my life in general. I was able to find a calm satisfaction in just dressing and expressing my feelings as I needed to.