Can we talk about hair?

[danniUK]

Wigs. I love how they look, hate how they feel.
Do you ever get used to the feel of them on your head?

In the past I've only ever cared about how dressing up made me feel, rather than how I looked. But I've started getting The Urge to go out into the real world while dressed up and I think I'm going to need suitable hair!

My whole life I've had the same haircut, a #2 with clippers all-over. Now I'm thinking I should grow it, but I'd need a hair cut which could be styled either as male or female. I just can't imagine what such a haircut would look like!

Has anyone gone this route and would be willing to share a picture of it?

[Cheryl T]

I tried going that route, but there's not enough there to make it look good at all. I'm relegated to wigs and I've grown used to them, not really comfortable, but used to them.

As for a hair style, I suppose that would depend on your situation. I would have let mine go long and just worn a ponytail in drab and perhaps used a styling wand or curlers to add some interest when dressed. Alas, that will never happen so I change my look with wigs.
On the other hand, as I told a CD friend once. If you do grow your hair then all your family and friends will see you with that hair and even makeup won't change your appearance that much to disguise you when you're in femme mode. A risk some are willing or can take. One I was willing to chance. Are you?

[danniUK]

Hi Cheryl
I wasn't so much thinking of growing it that long, just long enough so it could be styled in some way. I'd be up for a (relatively) fairly short cut if it could be styled to look fem... I was thinking something that just looked like a guy's mop of hair when un-styled, then something more with the addition of some hair product maybe.

I'm not even sure if that's possible! I've never even considered having my hair longer than "real short" before, let alone which fem styles I could carry off.

As far as the risk of being recognised goes - I think I'd take it. I'm concerned about my wife's parents and my kids recognising me, but I've reached that time in my life where anyone else can take me exactly as I am.

[ReallyLauren]

I'm a long time wig wearer and have never really gotten used to them. For me, they never look exactly how I want and they tend to make my head warm and generally uncomfortable. My biggest issue with wigs is that I need a large cap and the styles are fairly limited. Still, I persevere and wear them since I love the idea of having long hair. I would much prefer growing my own hair out. I have tried it in fits and starts but never got past the awkward, in between stage. Someday I have to just keep my eye on the prize and stick to it.

[Helen_Highwater]

Danni,

There is a CD'er who posts on FB doing makeup tutorials and often styles their own hair from drab to femme and makes a good job of it. If I remember the name I'll let you know.

[Elizabeth Marie]

Find a hair stylist, and ask them for help and advice.

I started to grow my hair out in 2018. When I made the decision to start growing it, I looked for a hairstylist and emailed her asking if she would be willing to help me grow it out and find a hairstyle I could be comfortable with in both boy and girl mode. I currently just wear it long, just longer than shoulder length. When I have to be a man, I put it in a pony tail. When out as a woman, I really don't care if I see someone I know. I look different enough with makeup and my long hair styled feminine that I don't worry about it. The comfort, convenience, and confidence of having my own hair far outweighs any risk of being caught.

[rachelatshop]

I'm an older lady and I have always loved long hair both on other gals and on myself. I like long hair with bang because not only does it help to make me look younger it also pulls peoples eyes away from my male shoulders. If you are looking of wigs that really fit and feel good you should go to a hair saloon that sells wigs and get fitted. Best of luck

[Bluesman]

Well, the first step is to simply let your hair grow out. Long hair on men is pretty much accepted anywhere nowadays. It'll take a while, but once you've got some length to it you can start experimenting. Find a good hairdresser and if you're comfortable with them tell them you want a cut that can pass as male or female. If you're hair is long enough, say shoulder length, pretty much any cut could work. BTW, that's my real hair in my avatar. If I want to go more 'masculine' I put in a pony-tail or man-bun.

[OrdinaryAverageGuy]

Unless you have a baldness situation, the secret to long hair is quit cutting it. I've seen too many people in the salon saying "I'm trying to grow my hair out." That's like lighting a cigarette and saying "I'm trying to quit." No, you're not.

I've gone years without a cut, in male mode I simply let it hang or pull it into a ponytail (never a man-bun, nothing masculine about that, sorry.) If I want it to look more feminine, thats where clips and scrunchies and braids come in, there's all kinds of things you can do without help, even more if you have help.

Wigs are for bald people.

[anna kate]

Have grown my hair to the bottom of my shoulder blades twice now, first time I cut it, I went just short of shoulder length. This time, about a month ago, the stylist cut 14" off to donate, to a local cancer victim, then cut it to just cover tops of my ears. Will let it grow now to cover my ears, then will have her style it. That will be it for all modes of dress. While I had fun curling and playing with the long hair, it played havoc with my sewer drains. Family and friends comment that they miss my pony tail. Just told them I tired of it. What ever you do with your hair, just own it, nobody cares. Talk to a stylist...

[alwayshave]

I also have a love hate relationship with my wigs. I have a rather flat back of my head so there is nothing for the wig band to hold on to. As such I have to wear two sided tape to keep my wigs in position. It's a real pain.

[Helen_Highwater]

Danni,

Remembered the name, Juliette Noir.

She can be found on you tube

[JohnH]

I have a fuller head of hair thanks to being on estrogen, taking gummies for hair, skin, and hair, and minoxidil. My hair is now about 5 centimeters (2 inches) longer than my shoulders.

Needless to say I really don't have a male mode even though I might wear a man's coat and tie outfit from time to time. Even then I wear makeup and have painted nails.

John

[Natalie5004]

Well, the first step is to simply let your hair grow out. Long hair on men is pretty much accepted anywhere nowadays. It'll take a while, but once you've got some length to it you can start experimenting. Find a good hairdresser and if you're comfortable with them tell them you want a cut that can pass as male or female. If you're hair is long enough, say shoulder length, pretty much any cut could work. BTW, that's my real hair in my avatar. If I want to go more 'masculine' I put in a pony-tail or man-bun.

And that is one wonderful set of hair.

[danniUK]

Thanks Helen!

[Robyn n TN]

I agree with Bluesman... I have let my hair grow to the point where I haven't worn a wig in over 2 years. It feels great but it does take more time to prepare. During the day I, when in Male mode, wear my hair in a ponytail and usually under a hat. Here is what it looks like now.20240113_190248a.jpg

[BTWimRobin]

I am fortunate enough to have all my hair and when the opportunity came (thank you pandemic lockdowns) I grew out my hair. I really love having long hair. It's something I've wanted to since I was a child. It's currently down past my shoulders. In guy mode, I wear it in a low ponytail. In girl mode, anything goes.

If you are worried about someone figuring you out. If it's just the long hair, no biggie. Start adding a few more tells, shaved legs, waxed eyebrows, longish fingernails then people might start wondering what's up. One other thing ... A wig adds to your disguise. If you have your own long hair, people might recognize you if you are out dressed. That may or may not be a big deal.

My hairdresser took this at my last haircut 3 months ago. I was so excited when she flat ironed my hair and styled it. Yes, I am out to her. Please excuse the blue foundation, LOL

20231107_113754 no face.jpg

[docrobbysherry]

As a man I HATE that I've lost most of my hair.

But, as a CD it's a blessing! Wigs! Of every shade, cut, style go on or off in seconds!

[danniUK]

I agree with Bluesman... I have let my hair grow to the point where I haven't worn a wig in over 2 years. It feels great but it does take more time to prepare. During the day I, when in Male mode, wear my hair in a ponytail and usually under a hat. Here is what it looks like now.20240113_190248a.jpg

Absolutely stunning, Robyn!
Definitely what I'm aspiring to.

[SIZE=1]- - - Updated - - -[/SIZE]

I am fortunate enough to have all my hair and when the opportunity came (thank you pandemic lockdowns) I grew out my hair. I really love having long hair. It's something I've wanted to since I was a child. It's currently down past my shoulders. In guy mode, I wear it in a low ponytail. In girl mode, anything goes.

If you are worried about someone figuring you out. If it's just the long hair, no biggie. Start adding a few more tells, shaved legs, waxed eyebrows, longish fingernails then people might start wondering what's up. One other thing ... A wig adds to your disguise. If you have your own long hair, people might recognize you if you are out dressed. That may or may not be a big deal.

My hairdresser took this at my last haircut 3 months ago. I was so excited when she flat ironed my hair and styled it. Yes, I am out to her. Please excuse the blue foundation, LOL

20231107_113754 no face.jpg

Looks lovely Robin! I was originally thinking of a short-ish hair style, but I admit I'm jealous of your length!

To be honest I'm not really that worried about being recognised... partly since I don't go out while dressed up yet! But also because I'm only really concerned about my kids or my wife's parents - and when I eventually do start to venture outside I don't expect I'll bump into either of them.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Long Hair on Men is no big Deal anymore,

[Chrisdresser]

I grew my hair long as a teenager and asked my then-girlfriend to cut me some straight-across bangs. I ended up keeping that hairstyle for several years. I cut my hair short when I was 20, but I soon went back to having long hair with bangs. I've been cutting my own bangs or having my wife cut them for me for over 10 years now. I've had everything from micro bangs to brow-skimming bangs, but I always keep them straight across.

[NatalieMN]

I've been growing my hair out for the last 4 years and I had long hair for about 2-3 years prior to that haircut. It really isn't a big deal and I have not been growing mine out due to crossdressing. I just like long hair. I haven't had anyone question it as it is just a normal thing after a while. I say if you want long hair, go for it.

I will say that for the first couple times I went out dressed (relatively recently) I was so worried about trying to get my hair into a more feminine style. And I realized that I didn't really need to worry about it. I don't know if mine just naturally sits more feminine anyway, but it looks pretty good when dressed up. Of course, everyone's hair is going to be different but I doubt you will be disappointed and I really doubt you will get many questions on it in guy mode.

[danniUK]

Thanks for all the opinions!
I'm lucky enough to still have all my hair, though now I've started growing it I can see it's a lot grayer than I'd thought! (When it's shaved to a #2 with clippers it's much less obvious!)
I've got a long way to go (grow) before it'll be anything I can style in any way but I think I'll have to colour it when it does get to the right length.

And I suppose I'll need to start visiting a hairdresser - even when it's still growing it'll need to be tidied-up.
I think! I've been cutting my own hair with clippers for the last 30-something years so even this is all kind of new to me. On the plus side, I've heard of an excellent hair salon in my town that's very LGBT friendly and specialises in cross and trans hair.

[Bea_]

After two or three years of major crisis in my life, I decided to let my hair grow in 2006, right after my daughter's wedding. I had no end game in sight, but decided just not to cut it. I started with a fairly short regular man's haircut and it took probably two or two-and-a-half years to get long enough for a decent pony tail. I'd had long hair in the seventies, but had never worn a ponytail. I did get some pushback when I grew it out, but those opinions just didn't matter to me. At the peak, my hair was to my waist but I usually trimmed it to mid shoulder-blade length.

I had a severe case of covid in 2021 that had me in the hospital for 29 days and the stress on my body ended up causing enough hair to fall out that my pony tail was about the diameter of a pencil. My wife cut it to just above my shoulders and I haven't cut it since. What amazes me is that pre covid my hair was fairly straight, but when it grew out, I now have substantial curl. I've worn it down, without the pony tail, to church a half dozen times. What's really funny is that when I've worn it down, in male mode, I got several compliments, but I actually had 2 bald guys or 2 separate occasions tell me that my hair was "glorious". Exact word.

So having it whatever length will have fans and detractors.

I mostly wear a pony tail for practical reasons. I like to pull it back in a clip if i want a more feminine look. I do a bun occasionally but I'm not proficient enough to get the look I'm after and too lazy to try and figure it out. I don't look like a woman ever. i have very strong masculine features although my weak chin is covered by my beard. My preferred look is very much just on the femme side of androgyny and not like a woman. That's like the world's least favorite look, but that's exactly the look I'd be going for. I throttle my desired expression by 80% because my wife is concerned what others think. But, I've been slowly experimenting with what my end point look might be and incorporating small feminine expressions here and there. I'm probably giving way to much for your OP, but there it is...

[kimmy p]

To me, the one advantage of a wigis the fact that I can suddenly be the redhead I was meant to be. I do however, plan on getting my hair permed soon and cut into a bob. Somewhat androgynous and hopefully fulfilling my desire to be a bit more female on a daily bases.