That is a very good question and I can say that over the 40 odd years that I?ve worn various female clothes I have definitely evolved from first using only female lingerie for sexual pleasure to now fully femming up to do what I now consider my hobby which is my housework/chores. I hate to stereotype and appear sexist because I don?t see housework as the females duty but if I can fem up and do it then it feeds and heightens my submissive needs/wants.
I suppose now, for me, it's a form of sexual perversion or kink. At a young age it was the thrill of the clothing upon my skin, which led to the desire to pass and be seen. Sexual freedom at that time and my ability to pass led to experiences with men which I truly enjoyed, more so sexually than experiences with women even though I considered myself attracted to females. I suppose it let me be the submissive and thusly relaxed any pressure to perform as a male, which fit with my desire to be a people pleaser. I suppose if we'd had the openness to sexual identity as we have today, I'd probably been a gay male or perhaps even a transsexual.
Definitely lifestyle as chosen by my wife, however not sure if something happened whether I would be able to revert back fully to male or if it would be difficult to shake off the feminine mannerisms I have been taught, but then again finding a lady who would continue this lifestyle I would imagine would be even more difficult, realistically how many women would be so inclined.
Amy x
for myself crossdressing is a compulsion, that leads to my inner most feelings that i am a woman.
At first, I perceived my desire to wear women's clothes as a fetish. I felt I was really just looking for an excuse to wear heels, nylons, and lipstick. Then, my first wife encouraged me to dress fully, and I loved it. But it was very compartmentalized from the rest of my life. I suppose at that point, I thought of it more as a hobby.
These days - I don't know if "lifestyle" is the right word, as to me that implies something that was a choice. But I do know that crossdressing is very much a part of who I am. I am slowly decompartmentalizing the halves of my life. I wear elements of women's clothing on a regular basis without being fully en femme. I wear subtle makeup to work now. And I am continuing to move in the direction of blending elements of clothing from both genders. And I have never felt more comfortable than I do now, with the direction my life is moving in that regard.
I do not feel any innate dissatisfaction with my male-ness. My dissatisfaction lies not fully expressing the femme part of myself. I suppose that I'm non-binary, if anything. But I do know that I truly feel free when expressing the femme part of myself without shame.
Great question, maybe ask me again in 10 years and see how the answer has changed. LOL
"She ain't waiting 'til she gets older, her feet are makin' tracks in the winter snow.
She got a rainbow that touches her shoulder, she be headed where the thunder rolls."
-Van Halen, "Secrets"
It's complicated. Hobby is a sanitized shortcut that isn't untrue. There is certainly a fetishistic element I also cannot ignore (as much as I'd probably like to). Yet either of those explanations feel incomplete in isolation. It's not purely for fun, but it's not fully for pleasure either. Best word overall would be the experience is continually sensual, some parts arousing, some parts fulfilling, some parts entertaining (like honing a craft). It doesn't neatly fit into any one category.
The problem I've been having recently though, is how to deal with it as a compulsion (and I wouldn't mind some help, other advice and might even start a thread for this). If I don't cross-dress for a while, the act of starting up doesn't initially feel like a compulsion, it's something I actively want to do, and chose to do with full agency. But once I get the ball rolling, things become a lot more obsessive. Call it the pink fog or whatever you want, but then I'll go out, spend a lot of money on items, and spend more time dressed for a short period than I really have good reason too, it almost feels consuming. I wish this could be something I pick up, spend an afternoon doing, and go back to normal, or buy an item or two, then fall back on self-discipline, but history doesn't share that pattern. Anyone feel the same way, any tips, tricks on keeping it in a comfortable level avoiding both abstinence and overindulgence?
For me, I would have to say "Hobby -- with benefits(?)" Even when I'm into it full swing over the winter, it is still for just a few hours, once every week or two. I actually enjoy the process of getting made up, if just for that moment I look in the mirror and see someone else looking back. Compared to my Civil War hobby, when I'm all in for a couple days at a time, and it is definitely a hobby.
www.flickr.com/people/196660660@N08/
I have come to look at it as a calling, similar to a religious calling. Hobby or lifestyle both imply a choice. Too many good things have come to me through cross dressing for me to pathologize myself by calling it a compulsion. It is far too amorphous and ever changing to be a fetish. But like a religious calling, as we all know here, you deny it at your own, very personal peril. And when you are in the right alignment with it, it is joyous and empowering.
I am a vessel of the goddess. Let me express my calling to a feminine life through nurturing love and relatedness.
A hobby? No... A Lifestyle? No again. I would say for me it is a part of who I am and as such it is woven into the fabric of my life. I have to say that dressing is part of my day-to-day, but there other things that may take precedence on occasion. It really, really, depends on the day!
If you equate our love of dressing to the criteria of what is a hobby, I would say that we can view crossdressing as a hobby. We do spend time and treasures on it from buying items to make us femme, to sharing it with others, and learning and research more aboout it all. I have many hobbies out side of dressing such as historical reenacting, to outdoor sports, to more sedate interest like reading. Many these I have shared with my family and other. My dear wife views my dressing as a hobby and refers to that a lot.
Beyond what I just said, in actuality it is also a lifestyle that I can immerse myself in when I get the chance to be Sarah for extended periods of time. Deep down, I know that there is a very female person inside of me that real life has tucked away. If I was younger and had the freeedom to explore this side more I imagine that I could live my life as a woman.
Sarah Adams, mature girl from NH. My photos are on Flickr under vintage4sarah !
Personally speaking, it?s a hobby. It falls into the same category as playing golf, wall climbing and archery which I enjoy when time allows. When the stars align and the time, opportunity and being home alone falls in my favour, I?ll dress. As with other hobbies, in between opportunities, I?ll look for ways to improve. At the moment I?m dabbling with makeup. If I get a 20 ? 30 minute opportunity, I?ll try and practice my technique or watch a tutorial.
It's my lifestyle that supports my hobbies with my wife and I going to the gym at least twice, maybe three, times a week, eating well and walking / hiking one day over the weekend, weather allowing. It?s a lifestyle that's pretty much ingrained into our working lives that keeps my body in the right shape for my active hobbies and for dressing. Add to this a routine of applying hand and face moisturiser on a daily basis which helps to keep my skin in line.
As with all my hobbies, I look forward to the opportunity when I can pursue them and feel gutted when the time comes to pack things away, and CD is no exception. I?d love to spend more time pursuing them, but it is what it is. I cherish every moment that arises where I can pursue them, CD, especially.
Looking back over time I have realized, when I was single and able to do it every day, I did not do it every day. I did not want that. I have no desire to do it all day every day. I am still in that mindset. I enjoy being a guy and especially being her guy for my wife. I also enjoy becoming a gal for a little while.
Before and after getting married I kept it hidden from my wife. I should have told her from the start, but I did not have the courage to do that. I did dress infrequently, and it was dependent on when she was gone from the house for extended times like days that she worked, and I did not.
I do not think of it as a hobby or a lifestyle. I do love doing it. I could live without doing my hobbies, but not doing or even thinking about crossdressing is not an option. It is a part of my life that is not going to go away even though I have tried several times in the past.
My wife now knows about my crossdressing. She accepts it as much as she can. I know she would prefer that I did not do it. She knows that it is a part of me. She has told me that if I was not the wonderful caring person that I am she probably would not have fallen in love with me. She would rather accept this unusual part of me rather than have me be something else. I am very happy with the acceptance that she has. We have agreed that my crossdressing is done privately at home.
I am lucky that she knows about this part of me, and she wants to be involved with it. We went shopping at Kohls together last year. She wanted to learn what Deborah likes as far as clothing styles. We ended up buying several items because they were such a bargain. It ended up being cheaper than buying used stuff at a thrift store.
I remember one time last year that my wife suggested I should have a Deborah Day. She could tell my job was bothering me some. She knows me better than I know myself. I had that day and felt much better afterward. She has been my rock for decades, and a shoulder that I can lean on at any time. Because of her I no longer feel like a freak due to my desire to crossdress.
Crossdressing is not a hobby or lifestyle to me. It is simply a part of who I am and one of many things I like to do. It is different for everyone. It is one more thing that makes everyone unique whether they crossdress or not.
Deborah
My desire is to create an illusion that is a compliment to all women.
It is meant to uphold and celebrate their presence and beauty.
I would say more than a hobby because I can stop a hobby. I could not ever stop crossdressing, I accept and love my feminine side. I am not out to many people and do not dress in public so not a lifestyle. My wife dislikes that I crossdress. I crossdress in private at home and underdress under male clothing.
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