My life of dressing seems to have gotten out of hand

[Susan_Michaela]

I?ll start out stating I think I might have gotten a little overboard with dressing. When I started it was like I had maybe 5-6 outfits. I eventually grew into more and more as time went on. Then came the purge stage. Threw everything out like 5 times and couldn?t even tell you how much money I?d wasted. Well finally I worked through that stage of my life and just hung on to everything. I quit completely due to medical issues and gained over 100 pounds. Went from 150 to 265 with medication I was taking then. Stayed that way for almost 5 years then things changed yet again. I still had all my items I?d collected over the years and changed again with weight I?d lost some but at the beginning of 2023 I weighed 220 pounds. Ended up having a surgery and changed my diet and started changing soon afterwards. I?m currently down to 166 pounds.

Anyway with all the different changes I changed sizes too. Went from an extra large, to large and I?m currently wearing a medium top again and size 10 skirts. Shoe size went from 14 women?s to a 12-13 if i can find them in wide or WW . They not only look better by fit better too. The pleasure brand I?d used in the past were ok but just a bit narrow and I had to cut my wear time down due to toes being tight. I finally discovered a few sites online that carried them in wide or ww. I really found much cuter shoes and with them being heels which I prefer I could get them with lower heels like 3 or 4? instead of the typical 5? I?d been getting before.

Well enough of that my point is I?ve gone through everything trying to think of downsizing some but that addage of I could gain a bit still and have so many wonderful clothes most brand name that I just can?t seem to get rid of. Although the meditations and size 10 skirts fit me so well anymore I have an hourglass figure now too I?ve been working on for two years. Waist nippers and spandex work wonders getting there. Anyway not sure who else has too much but I just counted every thing. I have only 6 dresses. 22 skirts, 65 tops ranging in size from medium to extra large but as stated the medium fit better now. I?ve hot 25 different pair of heels and 12 pair of flats like sneakers slippers etc for casual dress. I?ve got three large furniture type jewelry boxes that are full to the max. I?ve got two more totes a 12 gallon and. 27 gallon size full of misc other costume jewelry. I have a plastic rolling cart with 250 different colors of nail varnish opi sally hanson etc all good brands. I?ve got 49 pairs of leggings various colors and styles. Hot wax machine, perfumes like shalimar $150 bottle, white diamonds, Victoria secret perfume and more. Foot bath, led nail dryer for acrylics files buffers etc. I have 3 4 drawer totes full of nothing but makeup every brand color manageable. Eye liner mascara shadow palettes rouge?s etc. Then I get into hair products I own 3 wigs, have my own hair I have colored every 4 months or so with curling irons, curliers scrunchies pins clips. It?s almost too much but whatever style or arrangement I want I have it to use if needed.

I?ve got 13 coats, 22 purses I think I?ve got 18 hoodies that zip up and 10 sweaters. Fake eyelashes I counted 28 that I presently have on hand. There?s more so I as have I gone too far or not enough. I have a huge walkin closet and getting ready to expand it. Most are the wire type shelves with hanging rods upper and lower another for full length dresses and coats. I just realized how much I have and btw threw out the last of my old guy pants that were too big or had tears in them or just holes from age. Some sweat pants and a few blue jeans that were baggy and ragged out. I also have powders oils shampoos and body wash items enough to not have to buy anymore for years. Some of it was given to me by my best friends husband when his wife passed away two years ago. Everything he?d given to me was also brand new some years old but never opened or used. Bad thing too is two years ago I applied for a Kohl?s credit card and JC Penny card as well. They carry good quality merchandise imo and I?ve ran up more than a few hundred dollars worth of products as well. Kohl?s cash and sales plus markdowns haven?t helped much. Guess I?ve gotten into the true girl mode with my purchases.

So I after making this post have realized I need to settle down some but where do you stop on end it with. Most of the genuine women I know are jealous at times when they stop by and see everything Ive accumulated to date. Am I mental now or what? Your comments and suggestions won?t hurt my feelings whatsoever so please be open. I have even more but just touched on the main points. Sorry for the long post.

[prene]

I feel like you but different. We are close to the same size also I am ~182lbs, sz 11 on shoes but like you heels 3" or less in height.
I have 15-20 different dresses but half I do not wear so I could lose some dresses.
I have 30+ different skirts, about 50 different tops, I have 6-7 different pair of heels, mostly 2-3". Only one pair of high heels.
I do not have much jewelry 20-30 different pieces.
I do not feel my cosmetics last a long time so only have new stuff less than 1 yr old. Not to much nail polish, I only have 2-3 different perfumes that I really like.
I own 5-6 different wigs. 6-7 different purses, 7-8 different coats/jackets
My big or lots of feminine items I have is lingerie (30-40+ different bra's and Panties, 4-5 different corsets, 6-7 different shapers, 40+ different pairs of nylons).
Susan you have me thinking after evaluating myself My "dressing seems to have gotten out of hand".

Join the Club

[bridget thronton]

I love shopping but will need to downsize the number of dresses I have during spring cleaning (I gave 10 sweater dresses to my daughter in December since they were too short and a little tight for me)

[JulieC]

Are you mental? We've no idea of knowing

Ok so you have a lot of femme things and accoutrements. But is it a problem? Does it make you mental? I'm not a counselor, but a few questions come to mind:

• Do your femme things take up too much space in your living arrangements such that it interferes with your life?
• Are you spending so much on your femme things that it's affecting your ability to pay things now, or plan for retirement, or if in retirement not run out of money?
• Are you accumulating things just to accumulate? How much of it do you really use? How much of it do you use once and never again, or not at all?
• Need and want are two very different things...but how much do you need and how much do you want?
• Is any of this interfering with your life?

I have only a fraction of what you have. When shopping, I do find myself asking "Do I really need this when I have N of these?". Example, I have three bras (four, if you count an athletic bra I rarely wear that my wife has actually worn more than I have). I see lots of bras I would love to have (want) (currently drooling over this bra). But do I need it? Do I need to spend $70 on it? No, I don't. Can I afford the $70? Sure. I'm comfortable. But, I could spend that $70 on something else I actually need. But then there's the want...I really want it. So, how disruptive to my life would it be to get it? Not at all. But...practicality says don't get it.

It sounds to me like you bend more to the "want" than the "need". So, the main question really is...does wanting and getting things interfere in your life? If not, then I'd say it's not mental. But, again, I'm no counselor.

[Debs]

my life of dressing got out of control a long time ago, I now dress 90% of my life, go with the flow enjoy.

[ReallyLauren]

For me, male dressing was out of hand! I have to admit that my growing gender euphoria that comes from dressing authentically most days no has forced me to grow and diversify my wardrobe. I'm buying a lot more everyday stuff now including enough panties and bras to get me from one washday to the next!

[ReineD]

So I after making this post have realized I need to settle down some but where do you stop on end it with. Most of the genuine women I know are jealous at times when they stop by and see everything Ive accumulated to date. Am I mental now or what? Your comments and suggestions won?t hurt my feelings whatsoever so please be open. I have even more but just touched on the main points. Sorry for the long post.

I’m glad that you are able to indulge freely in what makes you happy. But your comment above about GGs being jealous of all the things you’ve got seems off. I’m a GG and I never, ever am jealous of my friends’ clothes, makeup, etc, because I know that if I wanted the same, I’d simply go out and buy it. Besides, to be honest I have no idea how much shampoo, makeup, shoes, clothes, jewelry, etc, my friends have. It would be weird to spend time looking at everything my friends have in their closets, bathrooms, dressers, etc. It’s simply not done, and if anyone ever did want to show me these things I’d be concerned about their well-being.

What I do think when I read your post (and some others in this thread) is that you appear to have a compulsion to accumulate feminine things. Compulsions and addictions are closely related, and in my experience, I know that they can be somewhat of a prison - in the sense that you can’t help yourself. You have no choice. You have to accumulate the stuff.

Granted, some GGs have the same issue, as do some men with men’s things; and my heart goes out to them as well. People with shopping or any other compulsion think that if they get this one thing, it will make them feel better, or look better, or it will somehow fill the void they feel they have inside. But the truth is that what they get or take is never enough. And the cycle continues. And they don’t know what it feels like to be free of this seemingly obsessive need for whatever it is they feel they need.

You ask if you are mental. I don’t know what that means, but you do seem to have an issue and it bothers you, else you would not be reaching out. There are lots of resources online to help with compulsions, obsessions, or addictions and you might want to research it a bit as your first step toward getting some real help.

[Susan_Michaela]

I want to thank you all for your honesty and answering a few of my questions about myself. As some of you may know I did come out on January 1, 2023 mainly because I was tired of hiding my true self about my dressing. Besides I?m also tired of feeling like I?ve been hiding or even lying to myself and others. All of my friends know about me and I would say I?m one of the lucky ones in as far as friends. I?ve not lost a single one. A few, very few seemed a bit surprised but not offended or anything else. Those few did have a million questions about it though. Most had found out by chance where I thought I?d dress privately at home and they ended up catching me by knocking on the door unexpectedly. All the others I talked to casually and ended up showing them pictures of me dressed. They said they never expected that from me and most said if I saw you out I would?ve never known it was you.

In regards to a lot of my friends especially the women I know, it sounds like a lot of bragging maybe it is to a certain point. I?m not making excuses as I?ve always gone into everything my entire life all or nothing. For instance I was a maintenance supervisor for many years and used my God given talents I?ve never been to college or technical schools. I can read about something or see someone doing something and with a bit of research become as close as possible be a master of it. HVAC technician, Registered Locksmith, Licensed Electrician, plumber and I?ve built a complete house to completion are a few of my self taught professionals. Of the women I know probably main reason they see and comment on all I have is because I currently have an open floor plan and bedroom plus closets are in full view until I can get around to building walls to close it all in. Anyway several of my girlfriends, genuine GG?s do brag about what they have to me as well so maybe we play on each other but don?t do it in a malicious manor. I do appreciate being told I might have problems, I?ve stated before that dressing and all that goes with it is very addictive I suppose like a drug addict or alcoholic would be addicted to their vises. I suppose even with the dressing being addictive to me it just like any other addiction, you have to admit it to make changes to make it different. I?m not saying I?m going to stop dressing dressing it I can maybe change how it takes hold of me. Hope this all makes sense to most here.

All of the jobs I?ve done listed above and even more I?ve also collected over the years every tool or device needed to do my job effectively I?ve gotten close to $25,000 worth of tools. If I didn?t have the tool(s) needed I couldn?t do the job, but having everything I needed Needed I was successful at all those jobs. If things got slow and or needed side money, I free lanced myself doing whatever was needed. If I got laid off I always had another opportunity to still work everyday even if it was temporary until whatever I was laid off for picked back up kinda like construction work is not full time constantly for some places. When I finally got into dressing fully I guess too I didn?t realize what women really need. Like spring spring summer fall & winter seasonal outfits same with shoe choices and tops plus skirts or leggings that look good together. At I have a great choice or selection to choose from. One of my friends my hairdresser is constantly purchasing new items too, her overboard part of hers is two items. She has around 25 different coach purses and 13 different pair of Doc Martens shoes. Her latest were Betty Boop and a pair of white Doc Martens she blinged out for her wedding shoes. She just got married this past summer. Hope this explains some of my original post and with comments allows me to make changes hopefully for the better. Thank you all 👩

[kimdl93]

Based on what you have shared about wardrobe and tool purchases, you might want to have a conversation with a qualified therapist. Perhaps you can afford all that you have acquired, but it sounds a more than a bit obsessive.

[Stacy Darling]

Question for me ( AS A COLLECTOR ) is will you make use of the items? or worst case not pass them on to another cd. most items these days deterioate so quickly. My suggestion would be to go through everything then give the good away.
I learnt years back that makeup and elastic in my panties dont last for many years

[Cheryl T]

What's that saying?
She who dies with the most clothes wins. Paraphrase for sure, but it's also meant jokingly.

I have my passions too. Probably too many shoes, but I love the variety. Too many panties, but the same feeling. Some of it came from decades of owning ONE outfit, one pair of heels and dressing infrequently. I've done the purging and it never took hold. I just began again. But now that I'm out to my wife completely it's my clothes that are in the closet, not me. Some days it's hard to dress as I can't make up my mind what to wear. I've had some foot issues and no longer can wear heels which I miss dearly, but have come to accept. Flats aren't all bad.
We all have something we hold on to, sometimes too tightly, but oh well. Just don't let that interfere with the rest of your life.

[Melony1968]

It's expensive to be a lady

[Karren H]

Well, I can only communicate my experience, After I retired, I realized I just had too much stuff. Female and male and just stuff. It was overwhelming and it was wasteful in a world with limited natural resources. and I rarely wore or used a fraction of it. If I did not do something it would either end up being thrown away or in my estate sale after I departed. So I went through everything and sorted them into what fits, what does not, what I like best and what I have not worn in a long time. And started taking a bag a week to goodwill or one of the other local charity shops.

Every week!

And not just clothing, stuff and memorabilia and things I collected over the last 45 years working. I started donating to local and it so local societies that specialized in what I collected. And industrial archives. Places that could use what I had and places where others could enjoy the things I collected.

It took years to get here but I am now down to a manageable size wardrobe that easily fits into either my closet and my dresser drawers. Without having to store extra things or even seasonal items.

I only have 4 pair of male shoes, dress, good sneakers, semi-good sneakers and wear doing yard work sneakers. When I wear out the yard work sneakers I pitch them and move the semi-good ones to yard work, good to semi-good and go buy a new pair of good sneakers.

Now I do have too many bras but that is my only indulgence for obvious reasons. Lol.

So you need to sit down a make a plan (excluding bras) and stick with it. You can do this!

[CarlaWestin]

Yeah, I'll get around to it. Male attire is similar. two Carharts one dress jeans with two pearl button shirts Sketcher's unless it's snowing.
I do have a funeral suit. I got married in it 25 years ago and wore it at daughter's wedding.
On the other hand, there's no room in the Carla closet for the two trunks of boobies and bras in the man cave.

[JulieC]

You sure that's a man cave?