Why CD is helping my male-self's depression

[Marketa]

Yesterday and this morning I didn't dress and my man's mood was quite down. But I wanted and needed to shave my legs, because last time I did it about a month ago (there's a thread on that topic, so avoid it here, please), so I went to shower still with my man's mind (weak schizophrenia) and in the shower he immediately get better so he also decided to wash his hair just because and after a bit he felt much better.

That made us thinking: why does CD help with the depression? And I think we've got the answer. Because I care. I care about myself. I care about how I look and how it makes me feel. I care if my top, bottom and shoes goes together. I care about my accessories. I care if I eat healthy. I care if I eat at all! I care if there's dirty dishes to wash etc. I. CARE.

Depression causes, that you don't care, because it's all meaningless for you and that's where he is mentally. That's why he stopped wearing suits and shirts. Because he doesn't care above bare minimum (i.e. shower every day not to stink). And that's why it became apparent in the shower - because he was taking care of himself.

Just wanted to let you know.

[kimdl93]

Having a sense of self worth, caring about yourself, is essential managing and escaping depression. I am glad you found something in yourself that you truly care about.

[FeliCD]

You go Marketa! It?s the little things that all add up. The process of dressing for most(if not all)of us releases endorphins in the brain on soo many levels. The scent of a good body wash, the feel of nylons gliding over silky smooth moisturized legs. The gently tug on your breasts from the straps when wearing a bra, the pull on your lashes when applying mascara?.the overwhelming feeling of donning that wig after applying makeup and seeing that woman staring back in the mirror while you run a brush through your hair.

[chrissy111]

I'm very happy for you that you have found something to help you. Love your smile when you're dressed.

[Raychel]

Marketa, Do what is best to keep your mind at peace.

I find that my male self will have times of depression and major overthinking.
But when I get to dress the way I really prefer, all that seems to diminish almost completely.
I get up every morning, do my standard morning routine and dress pretty for coffee and
time on the forum. I will watch the news, and just enjoy at least an hour totally relaxed
forgetting about the world. After I have had my morning quite time. Then I will get changed and
face the day.

But once I get done with the day, I get a nice hot shower. Shave whatever needs the maintenance.
Then back to Raychel time. It is a great relief.
Dressing provides a bit of solace before and after most days.

[GretchenM]

Definitely some good thinking there. Emotional matters are rarely just one way; there are almost always other approaches. Sometimes you can just reverse your thinking and change everything.

Panic attacks are often produced by what is called irrational cognitive thinking (ICT) (example: you blame yourself for everything). Your brain loves that kind of thinking because it is problem solving after problem solving. It has a great time until everything is so messed up that you can become suicidal your brain are so immersed in guilt and the brain has to go into defensive actions.

Well, one night I was taking a walk and got wrapped up in ICT and my brain was rolling along at about 85 in a 45 speed limit zone. I stopped and thought. Rather than letting my brain continue to generate irrational questions until I collapse, why don't I switch the role. I will ask my brain an irrational question that it will get stuck on. As the thinking chain is caused by a constant flow of irrational questions it generates itself out of the previous question I will consciously step in and throw in one of my own irrational questions that has only one logical answer. So I asked myself, "What if I don't think this way?" The growing panic attack came to a screeching halt and the whole process which is often nearly impossible to control (which is the panic attack) stopped in its tracks. The answer is, "If I don't think this way there is no negative energy to drive the panic attack and it muse stop." That is how I stopped having panic attacks. That was 22 years ago. Haven't had one since. Sometimes it helps to turn things around.

[CarlaWestin]

CDing is a private world even if you're out. A very personal safe zone.

[docrobbysherry]

I waited over 10 years for the female inside me to show herself!

Until I realized I only have one persona.

However, learning that set both Sherry and me free! Instead of spending all my time and energy trying to please her I can present any way and as any woman I want and she just goes along happily!

[Kelli_cd]

I find that I take much better care of myself (physically and mentally) since I've accepted my female desires. Next on the list is weight loss!

[Brynna M]

I relate to the nothing matters feeling of depression. Even the forced act of caring about yourself can help and finding something that makes you feel worth while and even beautiful is amazing.

[Meg]

I just want you to know about another care. All of your sisters here care about you too. I appreciate your insights and the sharing of your thoughts. You present yourself well and I love your fashion sense. Hugs and Love, Meg

[Aroara Xanthemae]

When thing get dark in your own head try to make a change for example instead of suicide move to another state or country and start again instead of ending it abruptly make a significant change in your life but learn to love yourself and then you can love others and allow yourself to be loved.

[Jasmine23]

Hi Marketa, I think you are probably right. In guy mode you don't really care about your appearance as you feel it doesn't really matter how you look, but, in girl mode you want to look your best and put you best foot forward, I.e. you really care how you look. I can somewhat relate to this as in guy mode I barely look in the mirror and am not too bothered by my appearance, but, in girl mode I really care how I look, I don't suffer from depression, but, I can definitely see how dressing up can have a positive effect on your depression. Whatever helps your depression you should continue doing.

It might also be worth considering would being Marketa full- time be better for you, maybe Marketa is your true identity and guy mode you is just a shell. Only you can really answer that, how it would affect the rest of you life; family, friends, career etc., it may or may not be possible, but, it's something worth considering, especially if it's having a really positive impact on your mental health and makes you happy. Anyway hope the depression stays away and you have a happy new year!

[CynthiaD]

Wearing female clothing definitely elevates my mood. I would go so far as to say that I am a much better person over all when I am in female mode.

I look at it like this: suppose you were forced to wear some ridiculous costume all day every day. Something like a Superman suit. Then someone says, ok, you can take that off and put on your regular clothes. Imagine what a relief that would be. My male clothing is just a costume. My female clothing is my regular clothes. Sometimes after work, I just don?t feel like changing clothes. But if I force myself to change, I never regret doing so. Putting on female clothing feels like coming home.

Marketa: depression is not a mood it is a disease. A horrible deadly disease. If you?re not getting treatment, start! We lost a beloved family member to depression a few years ago, and I miss him every day. We were both veterans, the only veterans in the family. We were the strong ones. We were the ones who put on the uniform and said to the rest of the country "Sleep well tonight. We will protect you." But in the end we lost him. Sometimes it takes a long time to find an effective treatment. I had a friend who had tried different treatments for years, but nothing seemed to help. Then one day he walked in with a big smile on his face, the first time I?d seen him smile. He and his doctor had finally found a treatment that worked. Keep fighting it, Marketa. You deserve to be happy.

[Debbie Denier]

Marketa, dressing definitely helps with depression. As pointed out on here previously. It gives a vacation from your male self.