Do you buy gifts for your femme self?

[Bea_]

In October of '22 I told my wife that I'd like to get my ears pierced for my birthday. She seemed to almost cry. On the day of my birthday she had planned to take me somewhere to get them pierced, but I didn't like the feeling that she felt like she was being coerced into submission. At that point it wouldn't have felt like a gift. So, the day after my birthday, I gifted myself by having them pierced. Funny, but about a month later she told me that she found my earrings to be sexy.

I'd considered asking for something femme for Valentine's Day this year, but ended up getting something I "needed" instead. Not particularly romantic but thoughtful. So, on Valentine's Day I went into the local Lane Bryant and picked up a 5 for $35 deal on panties and got myself a selection of mostly floral print panties. I usually do not spend that much on panties, but, like the old Loreal commercials said "I'm worth it" and I've thoroughly enjoyed wearing them.

The point is that. while I'd love to get those things as genuine gifts from my wife, I feel like I've been able to just bypass her as a gatekeeper and treat myself on special occasions. Does anyone else out there do anything similar?

[Stephanie47]

Everything I have in my fem wardrobe has been bought by myself. Decades agoI tried to get my wife to buy me some panties for my birthday. We went to Mervyn's department store. It was a disaster. She was literally shaking. I decided trying to convince her to buy me things was nothing short of spousal mental abuse. I thought, if she accepted this side of me, then I must be alright. After that I never hinted for anything from her.

My wife and I do not exchange gifts because it's a "Hallmark" event; Mother's Day, Valentine's Day, etc. We operate on, if you see something you want, you buy it now because it may not be there later. She and I will impulse buy for the other. I think it is more thoughtful than having a number on the calendar dictate a purchase.

[GaleWarning]

I buy stuff for myself, but it's not for my femme self ... it's for me!

[DianeT]

I do, but she keeps sending them back as she wants to remain an independent woman. Talk about a tough cookie, that one.

[Karren H]

Yes I do! Mainly because no one else will!

[GeminaRenee]

I buy stuff for myself, but it's not for my femme self ... it's for me!

This! But yes, I do treat myself from time to time. In fact, I just did today. Bought some workout clothes and a cardigan on clearance.

My wife has never bought me anything femme, though I certainly would be thrilled if she did. I think that's more a function of our differing tastes in fashion and her distaste for shopping than anything. But, she does pass along the items she's planning to donate so I can pick out what I want. That's gift enough for me!

[DaniHanna]

YES.... a lot more than i ever have for my male side.

Male side gets Bills and chores...
Fem Side get nice cloths and jewelry and everything else she wants.......

[Heather76]

I've purchased every femme item I have. My wife really has no interest in helping me or encouraging me. She has said she won't go shopping with me if that is the intent of the shopping trip, but if we are out shopping for her and I see something I want, she would offer an opinion and I could buy it in her presence. I have refrained from doing so as I know she wouldn't be particular comfortable in that situation. I'm fine shopping on my own.

[BLUE ORCHID]

If I Don't , WHO Will,

[RylieCD]

Yes! My wife did buy me something for me early on but told me not to expect it as she didn’t like it. I still always wish i would recieve something for me but no, so i end up buying my self something special

[NancySue]

Yes, I buy everything I need. I check with my wife for recommendations. She?s volunteered to buy some things, i.e. makeup, hose, tops, but I so enjoy the fun, anticipation, and trying on. By now, I know my favorite brands and sizes. It?s lotsa fun.

[OrdinaryAverageGuy]

My wife and I very rarely buy each other gifts, even christmas or bdays. It has happened a very few times where she bought me a top she thought I'd be cute in, more often she bought herself a dress or shirt that she ended up not liking and she'll give me the opp to keep it before returning it, so that kinda counts as a gift?

As for gifting myself, I guess everything I buy for myself counts? Some things I buy without her knowledge, on the other hand everything I buy through amazon she sees since it's her account we use, don't know if that's a factor in deciding if it's a gift to myself or not.

[Cheryl T]

I don't buy "gifts" for myself, I just buy what I need or would like to have.
I have received gifts from my wife over the years. She's given me jewelry, a few outfits and nightgowns. She great that way.

[jacques]

nobody else will buy me presents

[OrdinaryAverageGuy]

^ I'd send you a present, but apparently it now requires a second mortgage to send a package to the UK. Sorry.

[docrobbysherry]

No. I do buy things for both my male self and for Sherry. Spending for Sherry about $1,000 to $1 for drab me.

I think of presents as being a surprise. U unwrap them to find out what they r?

What's the point of wrapping something up for u to unwrap when u know what it is?

[Melani65]

Normally I just buy what I want or need. But there are times I may splurge on something a bit sexy, maybe a nice nighty, hot bra and panty set. It's fun to do from time to time.

[abby054]

Doc, I will agree that a present should be a surprise. When I buy something for Abby, I wrap it up and set it aside. Within a few days, not long at all really, I will have forgotten what it is and even where it is sometimes. Then I discover it and it is a surprise.

Senior moments and forgetfulness come to many of us with age. My mind plays tricks on me. Well, two can play that game. If I must deal with it, I might as well have fun and own it.