Leting someone in to you circle.

[sara66]

My wife has been going to a nail tech for a few years. They start talking and the nail lady finds out I can make furniture. So for the last 3 or 4 years I have been doing work for her and we have become friends. Fast foreword my toes have been getting rough so my wife said I should have her do a pedi. So last week I finally have my first pedi. What a nice experience. She offered to do color so I said ok, then my wife said I should wait being I had no flip flops. OK fine I can wait.

I am currently working on a project for her. I was going out dressed last week, so I called her to see if she had a couple of minute. I stopped by her salon dressed nicely. Stopped in and after I picked up her jaw she grabbed my hands and said "we are going to have to do your nails. I declined as I was at the end of my time but would take her up next time I out. We spoke for a half hour and all went well. I did ask my wife if it would be ok so not to make things weird. She was ok with it.

Do you ask you SO before telling someone close to you?
I can't wait until fall when I will have my next outing. I will have painted toes before that.
Sara

[JulieC]

There's only one person close to me who knows, and yes I talked it over with my wife beforehand. Since the lady in question lives several states away, it wasn't really an issue. My wife and I are 100% open and honest with each other, and always seek other's input on anything of significance. We're a team.

[bridget thronton]

Probably a good idea to tell your wife (communication is always a good idea)

[Kris Burton]

I've found that full disclosure is always the best idea.

[alwayshave]

Other than you ladies, Amazon and Google, nobody knows.

[OrdinaryAverageGuy]

My wife usually claims that she doesn't care who finds out, although sometimes it's the opposite. Regardless, I would ask her before coming out to anyone (she'd probably tell me to go for it)

I have no intention of intentionally telling anyone, although I'm caring less and less about being caught, and she concurs.

[docrobbysherry]

I'm a closet dresser. When you're NOT out every person u tell is burdened with keeping your secret.

And, each one increases the chance of u being discovered!

Altho I've met many hundreds of folks away from my home town and 1000's know Sherry on line, my old friends and extended family don't know about her.
I'm not a trans, I'm a CD. So, not telling anyone who knows me about Sherry suits me perfectly!

[TheHiddenMe]

I've told one person from my male world, the wife of a high school classmate (known him for about 50 years, her for 30). They have a nonbinary child, born female, now presents male. I thought that outing myself to the wife might help her deal with their trans child. The wife could not be more accepting. My wife doesn't know.

I also (my phone more accurately) outed me to my wife's best friend, and she said it didn't make a difference. We haven't discussed it since.

I also have friends who I met as Dee who also have seen my male half.

[Natalie5004]

I am a testament to the fact that it gets pretty lonely when you are in here by yourself.

[Brenda Freeman]

I have two circles. My crossdressing transgender friends who know and we provide support to one another. And my family and friends shared with my spouse where no one knows about me except my wife who is supportive but prefers not to see me when I am enfemme . Every one has a unique relation and needs for support. This has worked fine for us. I have been to the nail salon with my wife and got color and the women there are great but I wouldn't tell anyone with out my wife knowing and agreeing to it as it is her group too. My story and I am Happy. If I ever felt the need to share with our shared circle I would first ask my wife but I already know the answer. Works for me.

[JesseVF]

Ditto Natalie. For me wife only - with barely begrudging acceptance.

[Di]

Although Shers family knew they did not want to see .
Myself and my family were all in with support.
She wanted work and band mates not to know .
But we met and had other friends / couples from rl TG groups and drag shows we were involved with .
So we had two circle of friends.
It is what she wanted and it worked for us.
We had an agreement neither of us could tell anyone unless both agreed.
Since she was in the closet partially…the wife is also then in the closet so a joint decision.

[NancySue]

Only my wife. I told her prenuptials. She?s totally supportive. Toughest but best thing I ever did.

[Bea_]

My wife knows and is supportive to a point. It's clear she'd like to have a man who fit her ideal a bit better, but I apparently check enough boxes for her to endure a less masculine man. The only other person who knows about Bea is my therapist and she's been a great supporter and has encouraged me to be more open with my true self. My true self does not look like a woman but rather an eccentric man who incorporates feminine cues into his style.

With my therapists encouragement, I've slowly been venturing out in a more androgynous style with increasingly feminine cues. Over the last month or two I've been wearing subtle mascara and eyeshadow daily and over the last two weeks have been wearing leggings/yoga pants to the gym. I've always been a sort of contrarian so having a full and growing beard AND mascara and pearls suits my aesthetic sensibilities perfectly.

So, I guess the whole of my little world is slowly being included into my circle.

[Sometimes Steffi]

I just let my new doctor into my inner circle. I told him that I was going to the (Keystone) conference. He asked me what the conference was about, so I told him that it was a transgender conference. He was very happy that I had a hobby that I really enjoyed. It's one of those things that keep people active and happy.

[docrobbysherry]

I get it, Di!

My entire social life except that with my family, is geared around Sherry and dressing now. And yet, Sherry is not a real person!

[Debs]

Ive have a great social life as Debs about 1 hours drive away with many T girls and friends, but at home its a no no, my wife is supportive and lets me leave the house dressed to drive to my friends and is ok with me staying out overnight, but she does not want the neighbours to know, but beware in my past I have told what I thought was friends and it can cascade to other people, be prepared, Im ok with anybody finding out, its my wife I have to protect.

[CarlaWestin]

I've found that full disclosure is always the best idea.

Absolutely. Disclosure and the truth are always the best thing.

[Freddi]

As I get older my circle of friends seems to be getting smaller so I see no need to tell anyone else at this present time. My wife knows and supports me and we're both happy enough to keep it to ourselves.

[Jillcder]

If my SO knew about my Crossdressing I would definitely ask her permission before disclosing my female side to any friends or family. I have zero desire to introduce any friends or family to Jill. It would not bother me if my wife shared this with a couple of her close friends but first I would have to tell her about Jill this gets very complicated.

[joanstickley1956]

I have told a lot of people. All my good friends but one couple, some neighbors, my daughter and her family; also, the staff at a fair trade shop where my wife and I volunteer, the manager at a local restaurant where we have gone for years,my ex-hair stylist and her shop mates, my current hair stylist, and probably some others.

Of course the first person I told was my wife, who is incredibly accepting and supportive. When I came out to her 4 or five years ago, she immediately put together a makeup kit for me. I had hidden it from her for 35 years, but she was not upset about that, fortunately.

Other than my daughter and her family, I am not out to anyone in my family. Some day, I hope.