Closet CD's why r u so shy?

[docrobbysherry]

I get what trans r dealing with. It can be terribly confusing! When I thot I was trans I dealt my conflicting confusion all alone. Thinking I was the only one in the world!

Then, I discovered CD.com and 1000's of sympathetic T's and CD's!

That made me realize I am a CD. But, I'm a closet CD. Only my immediate family knows I dress. And, altho I've met countless vanilla folks and other trans and CD's, they were at events and places far from home. Sherry has traveled all over the world and appeared on TV a number of times. Yet, I still consider myself a closet CD.

Because no one except family who knows me knows about Sherry!

My question is: If I can do that? If u r a CD and desire to go out dressed, why haven't u?

[Taylor Dame]

My SO knows I dress but doesn't want to see it (DADT). In addition, my daughter and her 3 children are living with us. This makes it hard to get out into the world. I do manage to get out a few times each year when they are away.

[DanielleDubois]

There are some crossdressers like myself who simply have no interest in being out and about in public. I have been encouraged by others that Danielle should experience going out in public and I shouldn't be afraid of doing so. I know for many being out in public is enjoyable and a validation of their femme side but for me there is nothing in it. It has nothing to do with fear or trepidation. My Danielle time is not an expression of the woman within or my true self, I am someone who just likes feeling and looking feminine temporarily before going back to my 99% male existence.

[mbmeen12]

I've been out and decided afterwards it's not for me.

[Jillcder]

Not sure how to classify myself I absolutely love crossdressing in public I have been out many times and enjoy interacting with everyday people but I still consider myself deep in the closet with my wife I just cannot find the courage to tell her. I guess Im a hybrid half out and half closet.

[Gillian Gigs]

I am in a big closet called my home. My wife knows and accepts, but requests that I don't go out dressed in a fashion that anyone else in the world would know about my CD'ing. I understand her request, and honour her wishes, because I love and respect her. So I cover up my underdressing with male clothes. Yet, the one thing I still do hunger for is to replace pants with simple skirts about the knee length.

[April Rose]

I am out to a number of people, my partner, my son and close friends, and medical professionals; basically everybody except my neighbors and casual acquaintances. But it's taken me a lifetime to get to this point, because I am basically a shy, reticent person by nature.

[Stephanie47]

My wife and I are in a "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" marriage and sometimes that drives me nuts. She has not said "boo" about my cross-dressing since the 1980's. My first and only forays outside my home with the intent of interacting with fellow humanoids was on Halloweens. My comfort level was only to interact with cashiers at grocery stores. I feel comfortable (Mentally, not footwear wise) taking solitary evening strolls. I have seen cross-dressers out in the wild who do not pass. I watch for the reaction who see him. It is so obvious nobody wants to acknowledge his presence.

Essentially, I like the escape from the male world. I want to feel at ease. I gather be a June Cleaver; preparing meals and baking cakes than aimlessly walking around. My home is my comfort zone. However, if there was a local support group of seniors my age, perhaps I'd consider attending.

[OrdinaryAverageGuy]

Well, Doc, it's because you cover yourself completely including your face so no one can really see who you are. I don't wear a mask, or makeup, or a wig, so I look like me no matter what I'm wearing. So if I were to go out into public in a dress I would immediately be quite out of the closet.

Now John H will come and tell me to go for it, but I'm not at that point yet. Maybe someday.

[Kitty Sue]

I have definitely returned to the closet. It just makes life simpler. My life is pretty good and I don’t feel the need at the moment to go out and about. I may in the future after my daughter leaves home IDK. I enjoyed going out before I was married. I also had a lot more time and less responsibilities.

[docrobbysherry]

That's not true, OAG! I rarely ever go out masked in the USA, altho I wish I could. I'd probably be maimed or dead by now if I did!

Americans r some the most superstitious, phobic folks on the planet!

The pics I post r taken in the few moments I dare to mask at "friendly" venues. Even among my trans friends and here, most hate my masks!

[DianeT]

When I dress to the full nines, I am not being the real me, I'm merely wearing a female costume to experience something different. I have no interest interacting with other people in a costume, the real (male) me is just fine for that. So I go out, and meet people, presenting as myself, a male. And I have fun dressing as a female in my privacy, once in a while.

[Audrey34]

I've been out and about since joining my support group in 2007. But it still makes me nervous before we go on a shopping trip or a restaurant. Just never felt comfortable in front of the general public except at drag shows and CD galas. And sometimes seeing the negative news headlines makes me more nervous being in public.

[DAVIDA]

Been there done that, even have some of the swag from Southern Comfort in '07.
I have been around Atlanta several times, and Savannah too.
I was going to dress while in New Orleans staying in the French Quarter back in 2012, but I decided I didn't want to be the "highlight" of people's vacation pictures.
It isn't anything I care to do anymore and has nothing to being shy.

[Joannie]

I cannot look like a female, build and features prevent that. So if I go out I look like a guy in women's clothing. For me that line in fashion between men and women is silly and made up but it exists. Frankly, it seems one more obstacle to judging someone based on what kind of human being they are. I have gone out in women's clothing and I do not like the feeling i might be looked at. Frankly neither me nor they want to feel that. Often I go out with subtle femininity, if one looks close they could see a bra outline, a top that is women's, women's jeans. But I do it to feel good and not be noticed.

[AllieBellema]

The only time I've been public has been for Pride and that's mostly due to the ball gowns that I wear whenever I do dress up. I don't have anything that would blend in with the real world, but that's ok so I mostly dress up at home whenever I'm in the mood to dress up. Also, there is the fact that I can be shy and nervous about doing something different like that so I'd rather just keep it to my circle of friends instead of out in the public world.

[OrdinaryAverageGuy]

I stand corrected, Doc! But it really doesn't change my answer though. As much as I agree with Joannie about the made-up "fashion line" between men and women's clothes, I really don't want to be the test case. I do push the boundries a little bit on a regular basis (women's t-shirts and tanks, socks, jeans, anklets, etc) but I'm not ready to go to the sports bar in a skirt, as much as I'd love to.

Americans r some the most superstitious, phobic folks on the planet!

On that we agree!

[Helen_Highwater]

Sherry,

It is a question that I've asked and do ask every year. I know there are a good few here on this side of the pond that stand poised behind their doors with an itch to go out yet when handed to them on a plate, the offer of chaperones to guide them in what is considered to be one of the most accepting cities in the country, leave themselves still standing looking through the spy hole.

A night in an LGTQ friendly pub surrounded by like minded souls, hotels for whom having CD's as guests is as normal as the cooked breakfast they serve. A package all ready to go.

It is those little gremlins, the ones sat on a shoulder whispering that bad things WILL happen despite all the evidence to the contrary that it seems still hold sway.

Look I'm not so naive so to realise there will always other factors at play. Distance, time off work, in the closet to family so difficulty in escaping the home, all are valid reason why it's not possible. However I found ways around those problems and it's my opinion that every CD'er should at least once I their life, experience life in the big wide world even if it's only for a few hours. To know that feeling of liberation, that moment of realisation, just to be out in the fresh air is something not to missed in a person's lifetime.

[rachelatshop]

I live in rural Maine and have been cross dressing for a very long time and have always been in the closet. My wife knows and is mostly comfortable with my cross dressing, but beyond that I'm only out to a number of online friends. I know that some of my close friends might not disown me if I was to come out but I don't think any of them would understand, (how could they as many of us don't really totally understand), and they would likely talk. Anything strange and unusual gets around a rural community very very quickly, and the gossip would invariably hurt my wife and she might loose some of her friends. I couldn't bare to hurt my wife over getting out of the closet. I have driven a couple hours from my home and gone out masked and walked around an outdoor arboretum and a Walmart, but even then I was careful not to be really noticed. I think it is also hard to adjust to the idea that there is nothing wrong in being a cross dresser when for most of my life I believed that there was something wrong with me.

[MarinaTwelve200]

I don't feel a NEED to go out in public Cross dressed--- Indeed! In those who do (IMHO) it reveals yet ANOTHER "complication" in their Psychology (Besides simple CD) that they are having to deal with (and I Don't)

ALSO I stay closeted as all too many of the "muggles" Cannot differentiate between Cross Dressers, Homosexuals and Transsexuals, etc. And believe a lot of the most negative myths and stereotypes about the latter two. I do not need to risk the hassle and possible abuse and possible "damage" to my reputation (even if minimal) I have PLENTY of "FUN" safe in my own closet, thank you.

[docrobbysherry]

Helen, thank u for bringing up a good point.

I don't go out to vanilla venues alone dressed for 2 reasons. I dress to look good!
So, dressing to blend is repugnant for me.

And, I've discovered even if go out dressed the way I like and don't get directly confronted, the poisoned stares, muted guffahs, and fact that I'm a spectacle and stand everywhere is NOT something I like when I'm just out shopping or getting a bite to eat!

But, as Helen points out, if I go out with a group of T's I can dress the way I like and relax. Because of course we're going to attract attention wherever we go.
But, folks watching AREN'T FOCUSED ON ME! And, that makes all the difference girlfriends!

[BustyOlivia]

For me, I?ve tried to do it on a drive along a old highway but need better makeup and tinted windows lol

[docrobbysherry]

So, if no sees u what do u get out of it, Busty?

[Kitty S]

Great question! I feel that I don’t share myself fully with anyone but my wife. We are private people and keep to ourselves most times. We still socialize with a group of neighbor's and a few friends, but I feel that Kitty is someone to cherish and don’t feel like sharing with anyone who may not deserve to meet her.

[Heather76]

I've been out as Heather about 10 times. I've not had a lot of interactions with others; but, I've had some. I know I don't pass. That said, I've not had anything derogatory said to me. I would like to go out more; but, to respect my wife's wishes, I can't. Thus, I have to be well out of the area to do so. When I've had the chance, I've been out. I expect to have a chance in about 4 weeks to spend a day out shopping as Heather and 5 or 6 days for Heather to be able to see some sunshine in early June. However, since I am cross dressed at home (dresses or nighties, nylons, bras, panties, forms, jewelry) about 60% of each day, if I don't get to go out dressed in public, I'm fine.