I told my s.o. very early in the relationship so as to minimize the hurt if she rejected me.She didn't.Our twenty second anniversery is in two weeks.
when?
I told my s.o. very early in the relationship so as to minimize the hurt if she rejected me.She didn't.Our twenty second anniversery is in two weeks.
I told my wife of 23 yrs...before we got married but didn't remember it...did i mention i used to party hard...then i waited about two years after we married and finally worked up the courage taking her out to a nice dinner dancing on the premise i had something to say finally with my voice cracking i told her..she just looks at me and says you've already told me that...duh..i thought...then i'm thinking she still married me...so that's good but she still doens't like to see me dressed or talk about it..i do wear panties most of the time.. so it's kinda a mum's the word kinda of thing i hope i get more freedom when my daughter leaves home...but i'll just play that when it's time..
Tamyra
I told my wife about my pleasure late one night early on in our mariage. We were having a heart to heart about ourselves, her telling me of her high sexual drive - knew it already, had bought her lots of lingerie and toys - and she was wondering if I was able to keep pace (she's 9 years younger) and I told her I would let her know when I was tired - has not happened yet. She acknowledged it at first but did not say she would accept it until a few days later when I served her morning coffee dressed in a tightly strung black satin boned corset, black nylons and a black sheer thong. This immediately got her attention and interest. We do many things together with a renewed interest -shopping for lingerie for both of us - she knows I only wear thongs - checking out the cosmetic counters, and know she helping me to increase the size of my collection of high heels. I began doing exercise workouts such as pilates with my wife, she's a good coach, and she's helped me with my posture and strut while walking in heels. I'm one lucky CD.
I told mine when we were dating. We've known each other forever, so her first question was if I had done it in school, and she was shocked when I told her yes. It led to an interesting night of conversation, and she was fine with it. She has even been known to buy me things for birthdays, anniversaries, holidays. It's fun, but you have to be sure you and she are ready for it.
I told my wife 16yrs into our relationship (3 yrs ago!). I was at work and I got a phone call from her telling me she had just found a bag of lingerie. 'I was cringing with embarassment' and I didn't know what to say, I told her I would explain it when I got home. She was in tears on the phone & still crying when I returned from work. I expected her to walk out of the door that evening when I told her, but when I did, she was so relieved that I wasn't having an affair, she went from tears to laughter.
We have a lot of fun over it (joking at my expense!!), but she still only half accepts the situation & 99% of this is humouring me on a daily basis!
Last edited by lowenna_k; 04-29-2006 at 02:47 AM.
all my wifes not into it had a couple friends that liked it
When?
I am slowly progressing from lingerie to outer wear. After about 12 years married (19 now) I told her I liked pantyhose and panties and that I had worn most of hers over the years. She didn't really seem to care and sometime buys for me. I now have loads of my own (more than she does) and even a summer dress hanging next to my business shirts. No comment. Bras just make her laugh. Actually most of what I do makes her laugh!! If and when I go further, I think she will deal with it in the same grounded way she has to date...with alot of discussion when she is ready.
Thanks for all of your responses!
I've been overwhelmed by your many interesting and heartfelt responses.
Stacy CD - If you really care for her, tell her. Sooner, not later.
Caitlintgsd - What's the tg part?
Aleria - Best way to go.
Caz - Wow!
Angie pacd - You are one lucky CD!
TG Marla - Thank God for this forum.
Keep 'em coming!
Talon
I told my ex 2.5 years before the wedding, and about 14 months after we started dating.
My current Fiancée was told the first week we started dating.
[SIZE=3]I never told my former wife, but If I had, she would have left me immediately. She was a traditional old fashioned type of woman and men dressing in women's clothing is not acceptable!
Oh well, she left me anyway for other reasons, so perhaps I should have told her!
[/SIZE]
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
Love And Devotion To My Online Family
I'm outa the closet, but still inda house!
I told my wife of 40 yrs last year,just got tired of hiding.
Should have stayed in the closet at least she knows and the rest of the world will know soon enought, she couldn't keep a secret if her life depended on it. I have never told a living soul but everyone that knows she has told them.
_____________________
Veronica
Lingerie is the poetry in a womans closet.
Yes I am: Wonderful!
Michellecd1999 + Randi 789: One does what one must. Bless you both!
Josi: God bless you and Annie!
ginafaye: I'm happy for you!
Krystenw: If you can take the risk, I think that telling early is the way to go.
phobsessed: I agree with how you've handled things.
Keep those posts coming!
Talon
I managed to tell my wife after 8 years of marriage.
she was upset particularly at the fact, that I waited so long to tell her.
We are still together after more than 25 years.
We've been together going on 6 years. I told her 2-3 months after we started
dating. She wrote me this great letter telling me how she felt, and went out
and bought us matching panties, and a skirt and top for me!
We played dress up quite a bit that first year. I don't really dress up much
anymore, but I do sleep in nylon briefs and nightgown. We like to sleep
snuggled up against each other which really makes the gown feel good!
Wish I had been able to tell my wife before we got together. But my dear stepdaughter told here first!!! She was tryiong to get us to break it off, not sure why, But Sue did not react as my daughter thot she would, instead of getting "creeped ouyt" she said, "Really"" Cool!! ya got any pictures?" I am told that my daughter was not at all amused.LOL
Mu sweetheart laughs about ti a lot, still likes to bring it up to my daughter, Its become ajoke between them. At least I hope it is....
"Be WHO and WHAT you are! Don't ever let anyone tell you what to be! Be yourself and be happy"!
a quote from my father, the only GOOD thing he ever really did for me!
Thank you all for your posts!
Miss Vicki - Keep us posted on any further developments.
racquel - Congratulations!
tamyracd - Hang in there!
michelle D - You are lucky, indeed!
Heather 1970 & lowenna_k - Thank you for sharing your stories.
Lisa O + Amanduhrob + Clare - Thank you all for sharing!
Talon
My g/f wears g strings almost exclusively. When the subject turned to sex in the beginning, and that little bit about her came out, I just asked her what she would think if I wore one? That was two years ago.
Talon asked me to add this to this thread, so I have, but have cut bits out to keep only the more relevant...
I don't know if I would be classified as a man-in-a-dress or a (very) partial CD, but wearing women's clothes is something I've enjoyed occasionally over a number of years, though much less so recently, for reasons I will go into.
I was wearing my dress in a busy public, mixed club the night I met my present girlfriend, who after 7 happy years together is very much my life partner, and I know my wearing a dress helped the initial attraction (she could see the open-minded aspects, etc). She has bi-tendencies, but has not had any involvement with women, since we have been together, and finds me very sensitive, and has said that she hadn't imagined finding a man who could fulfil her sensitive female needs.
When I am wearing the dress (I would say I wear a dress and some accessories rather than cross dress per se, there is no attempt to be convincing or rarely to wear a full outfit), she does sometimes call me her 'special girl', and does sometime apply a little bit of make up, and some lipstick and we kiss, which is a very warm experience. I did also have a long blue wig, but I don't feel comfortable going 'half way'.
I don't really desire meeting up with CDs, as it's a personal shared little thing with my girlfriend, and something she knew about from our first meeting, never a secret. I don't feel I have to go anywhere to dress. I could walk around the house in my dress anyday and she wouldn't mind. Although CD is not a large part of my life, I know I am lucky to have her and her support. (I did have a girlfriend in the past who was shocked to see me wearing nail polish).
I had one other dress, and I have some worn my girlfriends underwear and shoes around the house, usually in her presence. Apart from going to clubs and house parties, I feel no desire for public Cding or to walk down the road cross-dressed, but do have admiration for those who do, and those who choose to live cross dressed.
I now really only wear womens clothes when we have returned from going to clubs or parties, unwinding in the comfort of our own home, in tender moments, and moments which can be sexual charged.
My old friends know, because they have seen me wearing dresses, it's no secret to new friends or anyone else really. I tend not to associate with narrow-minded people.
I have also tried on my mother's clothes, without her knowledge, my old bedroom at my parents is full of them so it's very easy to do, and she has some many very nice tasteful dresses that I feel suit my built 'in the female'. I am slim and muscular an am happy with my physique, both 'male' and in the dresses I choose and try on.
In addition, my limited CD involvement, (if you would call it that), is a close personal, shared thing within the relationship...
Over the last twenty years I've had a handful of opportunities to tell girlfriends about my crossdressing.Typically it came after dating to the verge of the relationship becoming serious.My motive was pure,I felt that it was something they should know.Crossdressing is a very small,yet significant part of me and I wanted to be accepted by them having all the knowledge....not just part.
I've also learned that women in general hate secrets and the last thing I wanted was them to find out in another fashion.I wanted it to be on my terms in a relaxed,serious manner.The reactions to my divulgence were as mixed as the personalities of each woman.A couple were cool with it,grateful I had trusted them and felt it made us closer and actually assisted me.Two more were...I suppose... were ambivalent about it...not exactly thrilled with the notion but let me do my thing on my own.One was pretty much put off by the thought of it and the relationship shortly ended.In every case I never regretted the decision in telling each one.
Well I met my sweetie in dec of 95, I moved in with her in Jan of 96 and told her of my cding in Feb 96. It was a surprise for her, but she did her best to deal with it. 3 years later we were married and its' been a give and take process througout the last 7 years. But we are so much in love with each other that we are willing to talk anything through and have reached the point where she is very supportive and active in my cding as part of our marriage and life in general.
I told my sweety on our the first time we met. I answered her online ad for a sex buddy and told her in my response.
That was 4 1/2 years ago and we're getting married this fall.
I have her ad and my answer online at our erotic web site. I'll let those of you who want to read them know the URL if you send me a message.
Love,
Rikki
"Every desire of your body is holy. Did you hear what I said? Every desire of your body is holy"
Hafiz "The Gift" Translations by Daniel Ladinsky
Here are some of my reactions to your posts.
ShortSkirt: Cool!
Nameless For Now: Thank you for posting here.
aprilgirl + jenni2716 + Rikkicn: Thank you for sharing your stories.
Talon
I told my wife about seven months before we got married... she was hanging out at my apartment while I was at work. Little did I know she was going to do some "cleaning" -- we still had separate places until she moved in with me two months before the wedding. Anyway, she found all of my Karen stuff in my closet (including my two wedding dresses) before I got home. When I got home that evening, she was not happy, sitting on the couch and my Karen stuff was out of my closet on my bed. That's when I looked my most apologetic and said it was all my stuff, that I had been a crossdresser for most of my life. To my surprise, she hugged me and was actually relieved -- she said she thought they were some other woman's, and that I had been seeing someone behind her back! No worries there -- I never had eyes for anyone but her! She even let me try on some clothes for her and she seemed okay with it.
For the next couple of years, she seemed okay with my dressing up, going shopping for clothes for both of us (me in male mode, that is) and occasionally being the housewife when she got home from work. I told her some of my history of how accepting my mother was about my crossdressing and showed her some of my pics... although she was a little weirded out by seeing me dressed up in a prom dress and posing with a boy in a tux. I suppose she wondered how far my dressing might go. The big change came when we had children after a couple of years of marriage -- she wanted me to stop dressing. She stopped being so tolerant of my dressing and definitely didn't want the kids to find out. So I put everything back in the closet, or actually in boxes in the attic, and ever since, I have been dressing only when no one's around the house. But having her as my wife is so much more important than a bunch of clothes or achieving a passable look in the mirror. If that means being stuck in the closet for years, that's okay.
Karen
"Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes..."
About two weeks into the marraige. At first she seemed intrigued by the idea, but as time went on she lost interest in helping me but never condemned me or told anyone to my knowledge.Billie Jean
Wow ... what a great question. My wife and I were married about 7 years I think before we started to experiment with my crossdressing. It's a long story really ... but we had this sudden epiphany about being together always and about truly feeling like we trusted one another. We have grown in incredible ways since then ... that was about 4 years ago. I just told her crossdressing was something I was interested in exploring and she thought it sounded very interesting and fun. She's since told me that she enjoys having a femme friend to talk to ... one she feels so close to. It's difficult to summarize it all in a few words.
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