hi everyones, hope you dont mind a wife of a CD getting in touch, i have found your site the best site on line and thought i'd ask if you wouldnt mind helping me and giving me a little advice.
my husband and i have been married a year and a half and just before christmas he told me he was a CD. i kinda knew coz while we were "dating" i went shopping for some new underwear for me but as a joke i made him wear it. he of course loved it and i have known about him wearing underwear and nighties to bed for a few years, but when he said he was wanting to do more dressing up i didnt realise how much. he told me he had been using my clothes for months while i was out or at work, this upset me that he couldnt be honest with me.
my husband, or cindy as i playfully call him, works abroad and he told me he was a full fledged CD over the phone. it soon came to light that whilst he was a student he had been raped by another man and dressing in womens clothes was a way for him to escape from being the man who was abused. i tried to be understanding, but told him we needed to talk face to face and to get everything off our chests.
when he came home christmas time i had had a few weeks to deal with his CD and had in the meantime come to terms a little with it so i went clothes shopping for him and got him an outfit and some make up of his own for christmas, i thought this was a good start. i even dressed him up in the clothes, i helped him shave his legs and body too.
i thought i was dealing with cindy quite well.
after being home with me for 3 months he finally got a new job, still abroad, and he left the beginning of march. however in the last week he has said he wants to do CD all the time. he wont give me time to come to terms with this and is willing to throw our marriage away.
he is constantly seeking compliments about his appearance, althought he is 1000's of miles away and i cant see him. he is extremely insecure and sends me messages begging to say he looks pretty. i have not fully accepted his CD yet and have asked for sometime to get used to it and for me to be gradually introduced to cindy slowly not all at once, but he thinks i'm being unreasonable. am i?
i was reading some past comments about acceptance and many of you have said that you need to accept yourself before anyone else will accept you, but my husband doesnt see that.
please advise me on what i can do to help him and to save our marriage, i love him dearly and want him to be happy. please can someone tell me if i am doing the right thing by him,
thanks for your time and i do hope you dont find my presence intrusive on your site
thanks
loulou