A different take on an old question...

[Alicia_lynn419]

T all the ladies out there who have CD friends/SO's... do you think you would rather know upfront about (our) crossdressing, or would you find it easier to accept the crossdressing AFTER you have known someone for a while first?

[Lilian]

Thats a difficult one, Alicia can't answer for all but it depends how long you intend to wait. I myself think that its best to let them know before things get to serious.. but if its never going to get like that then why tell them. It is really up tp you but I would want to know before the marriage or living together. not only is it better to get it out in the open but if she does not know when are you going to be able to dress and then you have the stress of that so it would not be good. hope this helps Hils GG xx

[Alicia_lynn419]

I guess the reason for my question was more general - be it the possibility of something serious or not. I think I would want tell a prospective partner before anything got too far... (would be hard to describe the shaved legs and painted toes otherwise).

[Tamara Croft]

Although I do agree that one should be upfront and honest, this isn't in my opinion always the best policy. I'm glad I got to know my SO a bit before he told me about the crossdressing. I got to know 'him' as a person first and I'm glad I did. Had he told me this in the first couple of weeks of getting to know each other, I don't think we would have been together now.

[Kerry Owens]

Up front and honest. Hands down...if Lawren had done it anyother way I doubt I would have trusted the person long enough to run outta the door.

[LaceLuvr's GG]

Lace and I were friends for a while before he told me. I think if he had waited until we had been intimate to tell me, I would of felt a little betrayed and probably wouldn't be with him now. The fact that he told me about it first, so that I had the choice of continuing to move the relationship forward was very moving to me. Like he has said a thousand times - he would much rather be with someone that is accepting from the beginning than to be dishonest and hope the person is so attracted that they won't mind.

Honesty is number one in our relationship. Waiting too long to say something about such a big thing could be very dangerous. If you tell someone from the start and they walk away - what have you lost? Nothing, you start over. If you invest years on a relationship and then tell them, and they walk away - you lose so much.

[Di]

I think towards the beginning of the relationship, after you see you both click and there is going to be other dates.

[Bev06 GG]

Hi Alicia,
I hate deceit of any kind so I'd have hated it if my partner hadn't told me up front. Nevertheless, I do understand why some CDs choose not to tell their partners and realise that some could lose all. For me tho, honesty is the best policy. If you read some of the threads on here, those CDs who's secret has been discovered have had more problems with their partners over the deceit issue than the actual dressing.
BEVxxxx

[KrazyKat]

Yes, I agree that before intimacy, or even being exclusive is a good time to talk about such things. Being in the over 50 age group, I don't know if things would of been different or not if Karen had told me before marriage. We've discussed this, but the consistent basic, loving, caring, compassionate things that we did for each other for 13 years made it easier for me to keep an open mind.
Of course, we had to learn these things together, due to some poor advice from therapists and society around us.
That's why I'm proud to go into public with Karen, and show it!! We consider ourselves to be "ambassadors" to change people's opinions, in the real world.
This may sound a little idealistic, but someone has to start the changes, as so many here and around us are doing!!
Hope this makes sense.
Kat

[Sandra]

Up front and honest, leaving it to long will only cause big problems later.