Would you give up crossdressing?

[SherriePall]

Dear Christian GG -- I take it by your signature name that you are a Christian woman, yet your statement about fame (and I suspect the monetary gains from that fame) would indicate to me that your thoughts are more about that fame and money (remember that the lust of money is the root of all evil) than about your husband.
Your three-day retreat, I guess, was church-oriented and it was there that you were urged on to "treat the evil" that your husband was doing. In one of the books of the law, it states that a man shall not wear a woman's clothes. Right? Yet it states the converse, too. Do you or any of the other women of the church wear pants? And don't give me that line about them being women's pants! Besides, that scripture is interpreted as forbidding a man from sneaking into a woman's quarters by guise or from joining the pagans in rites using crossdressing as part of sexual orgies, or from a man dressing in a woman's clothes to avoid military service or a woman from taking part in battle. And how about the other laws around that scripture? Do we wear tassles at the ends of our clothes? Or build parapets around the roofs of our houses? Mix different materials in our cloths?
Please, back off. Give your husband some air. Sit down and talk with him without hostility or self-righteousness. Listen to what he says. And remember, none of us asked to be this way. Many of us have tried to stop. Some of us have even used prayers (and a few promises to God, if ..).
Sorry, I rambled on. And please, take my post in the manner I meant it, with my love in Christ that you two will work this out.

[Faye Emmette]

What Sherrie said above .. Whew, thanks Sherrie, I am flabergasted by the intelligence and deep thinking that some of our members have.
Please heed this "CGG".

[Julie Avery]

A year ago, I would have taken the money, and a few months later, helplessly defaulted on the agreement. Today, I'd suggest they keep their money and quick messing with me.

[ErikaLeigh]

I have tried to stop dressing MANY times, you know the old purge, then binge when you cant handle being in drab any more. I think the longest I ever went was about 2 years. I would try for a million, but I dont think I could honestly never dress the rest of my life no matter HOW MUCH money was involved. I can understand where you are coming from Christian, I am in the position of being a well known business owner, and involved in church ministry, and if I was found out my life as I know it would cease to exist. I think your best bet would be to ask if your S.O. would be willing to keep it tucked in the closet under lock and key (thats what I do). You have a life to live, and so does your S.O., but dont let ANYTHING, even money stand in the way of your dreams.

[carol ann]

I answered your other thread and I suggest you read that answer.

I must say I was most disappointed to read this one. I am sad for you.

I would give up crossdressing if my wife really pushed me. Not for money - ever- but for love and need to protect my relationship. Love is about giving and giving

I would suggest that if you are serious about your career and money being all important that you ditch your husband. He will be better off and it will let you both get on with your lives free of individual selfishness which will in any case return to haunt you

[Ms. Donna]

If someone were to give you a million dollars would you give up crossdressing?

This is Sheena's wife in her own account. I would like Sheena to give up crossdressing because I have the opportunity to become very famous and I don't want Sheena tainting that.

Do you have even the slightest clue what it means to be transgender?

To grow up feeling isolated and alone - confused by feelings and emotions for which we have no sufficient words to express them? To have no one in your life to share these feelings? To learn to hate yourself - all the while putting on a 'happy face' for those around you? To recognize what is the pointlessness that is your life? To spend nearly every waking moment painfully aware that you are not and never will be a part of the mainstream of society? To look at the other people around you moving almost effortlessly through life while you struggle simply to exist?

And do you have even the slightest clue just how ignorant your question is?

For a million dollars, would you :

• Have your breasts removed?
• Grow a beard?
• Arm hair?
• Leg hair?
• Chest hair?

Would you agree to spend the rest of your life as a man? To spend the rest of your life being something you're not while is slowly eats away at you until you no longer have a reason to live?

Well... Would you?

Then why would you wish that on someone else?


Into what part of "Do unto others as you would have them do to you" (Luke 6:31) does this fit?

Under what part of the so called 'christian virtues' does this fall?

Clearly, you've lost the plot on your way home from the retreat. If I were you, I'd ask for my money back.


You don't want Sheena tainting your chance at fame? Please... You seem more concerned with 'fortune and glory' than with your relationship. I'm sure that once you're 'rich and famous', you'll have no problem finding a 'proper' husband.


So, lets see where we are:

• Greed
• Wrath
• Envy
• Hubris

That's four. All you need is three more and you'll have racked up all seven cardinal sins - not bad.


I'm sure that there is much that Sheena could have done better, but your 'response' to all of this - my dear, you have more than a few issues here...


You have lifetime subscription.

The future masters of technology will have to be lighthearted and intelligent.
The machine easily masters the grim and the dumb. -- Marshall McLuhan

[purple_spider GG]

Hi
Sheena is transgender and she was born transgender! You are asking her to give up an inherent part of her human nature, her natural self, and this is going to destroy her. By suppressing it she is going to become more depressed and statistically another suicide risk. Christian what is more important to you? I know you think this is a hobby but it isn't. I have had two TG partners, my last one was TS and my current one is non-transitioning transgender, you cannot crush who they are and it is wrong of you to do so. I know you are upset right now but please give yourself time because you will get used to it in the end.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

[LucyTwitch]

Hi

Does your partner have to be in the limelight with you. There are many famous people out there who partners remain out of the limelight.

As for mony to stop CDing, No, the only cure is a brain transfer but medical sicence has not reached this ability yet. So that means a life of missery. Money to be misrable or non to be HAPPY.

Ahother Life chioce

Love
Lucy.

[Kate Simmons]

It's not about the money Christian, it's about asking me to assassinate an important part of myself. I tried it before and went into severe, almost fatal depression as a result. Will never do that again. No way, no how for any amount of money or anything else. I can never compromise who I am as a person ever again, nor would I attempt to try. Ericka Kay Richards

[DawnLabelle]

I was on the verge of something really big and that is the precise time Sheena decided to come out of the closet. I was paralyzed for a month over it and now don't know exactly how to proceed. My life is on hold until I figure this out.

So, who is keeping your life on hold?, you or your husband?. Sorry, its you, but youre taking it out on her. Is she holding you back from getting that wonderful fame and money?, of course not. You can't handle the feelings your having so youre paralyzing yourself.

If you want to actually deal with this, realize the possibility that it MAY NOT GO YOUR WAY. Let that sink in

now, lots of options,
-chat here (not enough in my opinion)
-schedule a few sessions with a therapist which deals with gender issues
-actually talk constructively with your husband
-tolerate it and set reasonable boundaries, allow him to get his outlet without it bothering you

shall I continue?

you want to guarantee that this will end badly, keep doing what youre doing, threaten, make ridiculous offers, fail to consider the possibility that this wont go away, realize youre actively making things more difficult and worse between you two.

oh, and what a lovely shining example of Christianity you are, and you wonder why so many are turning away from your god especially?. May wanna hit that bible a few more times before you declare yourself a good religious woman.

Dawn

P.S. After reading Sherrie's post, now *thats* a Christian I respect and honor.

[gillian1968]

If a perfect stranger gave me a million dollars to give it up, absolutely not.

If my loving wife of 15 years asked me to give it up for free, I would. It's not about the money. It's about commitment and faith.

My wife knows, loves, and understands me. She would realize what it is she's asking me to give up, and she would know that it would not be easy - and down that road we would probably rely upon the gift of forgiveness.

When it comes to the public eye, you won't win. The media has neither faith nor discretion - and the lies and half-truths that might be thrust into the light could be far more damaging than this simple truth. In this way I agree with Bev06 - keep it positive, and be a rare example in the world of tolerance and love.

I wish you the best in your decision - it will test both of your strength and faith.

[Vannacd]

I guess I feel compelled to weigh in on this. Christian, relationships are a two way street. Just as you are responsible to give and compromise in your relationship, so is Sheena. I am in a relationship with a very successful person, and any indiscretion on my part could cause my partner's career great harm. So I am discreet, I continue to enjoy dressing, and my relationship is solid. Maybe Sheena has a little growing up to do.

Vanna

[sami1952]

money can't always buy you happiness,i happy with who i am and feel more at ease when i wear my fem clothes,it' like a whole new different world for me an i am a different person who feels like somebody else.

[Christian GG]

Dear Christian GG -- I take it by your signature name that you are a Christian woman, yet your statement about fame (and I suspect the monetary gains from that fame) would indicate to me that your thoughts are more about that fame and money (remember that the lust of money is the root of all evil) than about your husband.
Your three-day retreat, I guess, was church-oriented and it was there that you were urged on to "treat the evil" that your husband was doing. In one of the books of the law, it states that a man shall not wear a woman's clothes. Right? Yet it states the converse, too. Do you or any of the other women of the church wear pants? And don't give me that line about them being women's pants! Besides, that scripture is interpreted as forbidding a man from sneaking into a woman's quarters by guise or from joining the pagans in rites using crossdressing as part of sexual orgies, or from a man dressing in a woman's clothes to avoid military service or a woman from taking part in battle. And how about the other laws around that scripture? Do we wear tassles at the ends of our clothes? Or build parapets around the roofs of our houses? Mix different materials in our cloths?
Please, back off. Give your husband some air. Sit down and talk with him without hostility or self-righteousness. Listen to what he says. And remember, none of us asked to be this way. Many of us have tried to stop. Some of us have even used prayers (and a few promises to God, if ..).
Sorry, I rambled on. And please, take my post in the manner I meant it, with my love in Christ that you two will work this out.

Let's try reputation

[Christian GG]

It's not about the money Christian, it's about asking me to assassinate an important part of myself. I tried it before and went into severe, almost fatal depression as a result. Will never do that again. No way, no how for any amount of money or anything else. I can never compromise who I am as a person ever again, nor would I attempt to try. Ericka Kay Richards

Sounds like Sheena

[lostmyhubby GG]

Ok you might be Sheena's partner,soul mate etc...and all that good stuff but I am sorry you are your own person and Sheena is her own person.....you and only you are responsible for your happiness and your life decisions...what Sheena does should not reflect upon you in any way....
What people do is their own business not anyone elses, you need to get on with your life and plans of being rich and famous or whatever....and let Sheena get on with her life (cd'ing and such) take charge or your own seperate lives.....once you have those under control...come together and see if you cant both work on your relationship.
But it is unfair for you to put such a demand etc upon Sheena...Take the shoe out and put it on the other foot....ok Sheena says to you " if you become rich and famous that will just ruin it for me, things will never be the same etc.....so give it up for me please if you love me" What truly would you do? would this be fair of Sheena to ask you to give up your big break?
Oh...and by the way....do some research on some of our famous and rich people out there that our children idolize etc....dig into their backgrounds....bet you'll find lots of shockingly surprising stuff about whos gay, whos lesbian,who crossdresses,who is married and pays for prostitutes etc.....who takes drugs,some of our most famous commit bloody murder and get away with it!!!!!!!!!!
Sheena being Sheena is beautiful, and you being you whether rich and famous or not is beautiful....dont borrow trouble and make things more difficult. Life for us as GG's is difficult enough at times...however being hated,misunderstood,and prejudiced against is even worse and all cd's have that to face in their lives.

[GG Vanya]

infamy

Christian, I don't know if you'll ever be famous, but I get the feeling you're well on your way to being INfamous here.

I have no way of knowing what your venue to fame is, but I'm reminded of one person who did it through singing, and her husband is 99% behind the scenes. You might have heard of her, her name is Dolly Parton.

[Elizabeth]

Christian GG,

It is my personal feeling that this relationship is doomed. You clearly value what other people think and the embarassment of being with a crossdresser or transsexual is more than you beleive you can bare.

When I first realized that my exwife was not going to accept this about me, I stopped enjoying our relationship, and really regretted marrying her. I did not dress up, except for panties and other lingerie, for 14 years. Plenty of purges and fights inbetween, but in the end, she could not stand the embarassment of being with a crossdresser.

What I thought was our love, was really just a fiction. I met her needs and when I stopped meeting her needs the relationship ended. Save yourself the 14 years. You are clearly embarassed being with a crossdresser and you feel that your career, whatever that may be, will be jeopardized by being associated with a crossdresser who is out in the open, and who knows, perhaps you are right about that.

The bottom line here is that he is not going to change. Whatever feelings you have for him, those feelings are not strong enough to overcome your feeling of embarassment being with him. Just get out.

And I wonder, if you never become famous, who you will have to blame that on.

Love always,
Elizabeth

[livy_m_b]

I can "give up" being transgendered - all it takes is misery - a high dose of antidepressants, an oppressive religious faith, and completely consistent discouragement on the part of everyone around me. But, for a million dollars? No.

Olivia

[RainyHaze GG]

I feel I have to reply to you Christian.

I hope you reconsider your motives. Think very deeply about what you expect of your husband. And is it a fair request.

You mentioned reputation. I am not sure exactly what you mean by that. I know for me my husband's feelings and well being would be more important, than what others thought of me.

maybe I misunderstood.

Rainy

[Christian GG]

infamy

Christian, I don't know if you'll ever be famous, but I get the feeling you're well on your way to being INfamous here.

I have no way of knowing what your venue to fame is, but I'm reminded of one person who did it through singing, and her husband is 99% behind the scenes. You might have heard of her, her name is Dolly Parton.

See, I can't get away from it. I get some kind of fame no matter what I do.

[Christian GG]

I feel I have to reply to you Christian.

I hope you reconsider your motives. Think very deeply about what you expect of your husband. And is it a fair request.

You mentioned reputation. I am not sure exactly what you mean by that. I know for me my husband's feelings and well being would be more important, than what others thought of me.

maybe I misunderstood
Rainy

A good name is better to be desired than gold.

[NatalieBliss]

would you accept a million dollars to give up being famous so she can keep dressing without "tainting" it.

also having a transgendered person in your life dosen't end being famous. I point to the Arquette family on that one...

[jo_ann]

this just wouldn't work... think about it, you'd get a million dollars, which at 5% interest would mean $50k/year, so you wouldn't have to work anymore. so you'd be sitting at home, bored, and you'd be like "hmm.. I should crossdrrrrr... dammit!".. reminds me of a twilight zone episode where they pay a guy a bunch of money if he doesn't talk for like 3 months, and he does it, but they discover he's cut his tongue out to do so. I think if the same offer was given for no CD'ing for life, that person would do something as drastic.

[Phoebe Reece]

Christian, let me pose a question to you. What if someone offered you a million dollars to pose as a man. The conditions would be that you would have to do it publicly and privately for the rest of your natural life. You could also never tell anyone that you are really female. Could you give up the femininty that you were born with?

If your answer is yes, then it is pretty clear that money is the only thing in life you have any interest in.

If your answer is no, see how that same question relates to Sheena. You may have some chance at understanding what crossdressing is all about in that case.