Should I tell him or her?

[FrankieJ GG]

Good morning! I have a quick question, it might help if I could understand my SO, just a little bit more but I am wondering... I love this person and soon enough I want to tell them that. I am trying to figure out if I should tell him or her first. How will he feel when I say it and would it be more emotional and make "her" feel better to hear it first. I want to be meaningful when I say it. I love everything about both sides of this person but who do I give this huge step in our relationship to? We have discussed love and know that it is there yet we have yet to use the words. So who do I express this to, him or Tylie? And by the way, she still gets more beautiful to me everytime I see her, I just have to say that cause this is the only place I can express that! This person means so much to me and is so amazing!! Hehehe

Thanks, FrankieJ

[SherriePall]

Telling someone you love them is not something that should be put off. Tell your SO the next time you meet, no matter how dressed.

[carol ann]

SherriePal has it spot-on - telling someone you love them should never be delayed.

At the same time analyse you own feelings about the crossdressing and share those feelings with him/her. If there are positives share those but equally share the negatives. - Agree together the boundaries - and how far others - family, friend, colleagues - should be included or excluded.

Believe me if you share the crossdressing you will equally share the heartaches that a non-conformist lifestyle will undoubtedly bring

[Talon DeRojo]

Frankie - I agree with Sherrie. If you express yourself to your S/O as clearly as you've done in writing here, I think that it will be welcomed, no matter how he's dressed.
Talon

[Ivana]

If you are at all unsure about what your SO will say or how he or she will react, I would keep your crossdressing still a personal secret for how. Don't ask, don't tell would be best if there is doubt. It may cause the destruction of your loving realtionship.

Ivana

[Jennaie]

Yea, I wouldn't tell her though, she's liable to get all soppy and start crying and then who knows what?, start looking at your pockets to see if you have an engagement ring.

[FrankieJ GG]

Just to make sure cause I know I dont have the GG after my name yet, I am the girlfriend of a CD. And I guess its true I should not be waiting for anything to tell my SO but I just want to make sure its right. I have never felt true love before so maybe I question if thats what this is? I have thought I felt love for a SO before but dont think it was ever true. I guess I just wonder if it will mean more to him to here it in femme because he will understand that I love every part of him and her... ???

[Kimberley]

Just to make sure cause I know I dont have the GG after my name yet, I am the girlfriend of a CD. And I guess its true I should not be waiting for anything to tell my SO but I just want to make sure its right. I have never felt true love before so maybe I question if thats what this is? I have thought I felt love for a SO before but dont think it was ever true. I guess I just wonder if it will mean more to him to here it in femme because he will understand that I love every part of him and her... ???

**********
If you know then you have made a huge leap. I would approach it gently (some of us have a hard time coming out) but let him/her know you love for the right reasons. The rest is window dressing.

Hugs and all the best,
Kimberley.

[DonnaT]

Not knowing Tylie myself, I'd suggest telling him you love him and his her side.

Telling Tylie could be confusing for him (the correct pronoun in this case ), if he's not real secure being her.

EDIT: Went back to your first post 5/11/06. Since his dressing is mostly sexual, then I think telling him is the way to go.