acceptance

[jennigrace]

I have been dressing for a LONG time but only my mother knows. My wife and daughter don't know. As far as everyone is concerned I'm a straight "regular" guy. I've coached for a long time and I'm a deacon at our church (Catholic). I wish people were more accepting. it just feels so right to be in my femme clothes especially the panties. Let me know how you all feel.

[Lissa Stevens]

I think most of us feel the same way. Unfortunately until we can fully accept ourselves no one else will. I am one who still has not come to complete terms with my cding nor do I completely understand what I am. Even then it will be a struggle because if we don't understand ourselves how can anyone else?

One day, maybe, the world will stop looking at us as freaks and see for what we are, just people with feelings, hopes and dreams.

[Sky]

I have been dressing for a LONG time but only my mother knows. My wife and daughter don't know. As far as everyone is concerned I'm a straight "regular" guy. I've coached for a long time and I'm a deacon at our church (Catholic). I wish people were more accepting. it just feels so right to be in my femme clothes especially the panties. Let me know how you all feel.

Yes, I wish people were more accepting. I also wish I could lose 20 lbs overnight and miniskirts were mandatory for both sexes

I have this mental image of a Catholic priest in drag, in Chicago. Oh my. If you ever come out puh-leeze let me know. I wouldn't miss that. And at least you could say you're not the only cd in your church.

[myMichelle]

[QUOTE=Sky]Yes, I wish people were more accepting. I also wish I could lose 20 lbs overnight and miniskirts were mandatory for both sexes

I'm right there with ya on that mini skirt thing! But seriously, this is a tough issue. I think at one time or another, all of us feel terribly alone--as if we are the only guy in town who'd rather wear a dress and heels than a suit and tie. As noted earlier, I think this has a lot to do with each individual's varying level of self-acceptance. This probably sounds cliche, but it will get easier. It just takes time. The next time you're feeling guilty for crossdressing, think about this: If nobody ever crossdressed openly, nobody would ever accept people like ourselves. Anyway, hang in there. You've come to a fantastic place for help and advice.

[Sandra]

Acceptence is hard, but if people who are CDers/TVs went out into the public mainsteam and showed themselves as not having two heads then things might be a bit different. CDers/TVs are just like anyone else who is seen in public, the only difference is they like to dress differently, saying this though I can also see why people don't accept, when they see girls wearing clothes that don't match their age and trying to act younger than they are. I wonder how many times you have walked down the street and saw a GG and thought " mutton dressed as lamb"? I know I have, also I have thought that about some of the CDers/TVs on the forums I visit.

I will include TSs in this as well, but obviously they don't just dress differently, they need to change their whole apperance with the hormones etc, but the same still goes get out there and show people you aren't a freak, and that you're just a human being.


If you want to be accepted then you have to blend in with the public and not draw attention to yourselves, even then there will still be some that just don't want to know.


It does make me cross when girls say "why can't I be accepted" when you don't try to do something about it like getting out of the closet and making a stand for yourselves.

[CassieW]

I think most of us feel the same way. Unfortunately until we can fully accept ourselves no one else will. I am one who still has not come to complete terms with my cding nor do I completely understand what I am. Even then it will be a struggle because if we don't understand ourselves how can anyone else?

One day, maybe, the world will stop looking at us as freaks and see for what we are, just people with feelings, hopes and dreams.

I agree with the maybe someday the world will stop looking at us as freaks, but I and my loving wife accept the way we are and don't try to change it. We have a great relationship, the best there is. Society needs to open their eyes and see that everyone is different. Its not a matter of accepting ourselves, its a matter of society looking at people for who they are, and not judging us on the outside.
Huggs,
Cassie

[Kimberly]

I've coached for a long time and I'm a deacon at our church (Catholic).

Seen the "Ignorance of Crossdressing" thread?

[kristytv]

for whatever reason i have found weather its just my area or not , i dont know, but MOST of the catholics seem to have a real issue with different people, and especailly with gay, bi or crossdressers .

[trisha_anne]

Jennigrace,

I know how you feel. Acceptance is something I think all CDrs seek. Me personally most of my family knows and accepts me for who I am. The only roadblock between my and happiness however is my father. The only way I could be truly happy is to be able to live life the way I want. But my father neither knows nor would he approve of Trish. In fact he would probably disown me which would devastate me. If I could ever find a way to make him understand that would make my life perfect.

Maybe someday society will learn about us and we too like many other supposedly socially unacceptable deviants will be accepted. Till then we have to stick together.

[Jolene]

This is something that feels so natural to all of us here. I wish I could tell people in my family but I have not. Understanding would make this a whole lot easier ........ Jolene

[Casey Morgan]

As a former Catholic (now Atheist), you just never know how Catholics will react to ANYTHING. My mother won't tell her friends that I'm an Atheist but just the other day I found a promotional card from Fashion Bug in my mail slot. (I'm living with my parents right now.) The card was addressed simply to Ms. {last name}. Catholic is like Democrat: as long as you stick to generalities you'll be in the ballpark; get into specifics and all bets are off. I'll bet there's some people in your church who don't quite get what it means to be a married deacon. You know: "so when are you going to be ordained as a priest?" and "I thought being a deacon WAS your job?".

Even bishops run the gamut from staunch to fairly progressive. Look at Matthew Clark out here in the Rochester diocese. He was fairly tolerant of what Fr. Jim Callan was doing. So not every bishop and congregation will turn their back on you for crossdressing. Where does your bishop, pastor, and congregation lie on the conservative/progressive scale? Those are the people who will ultimately go to bat for you, or not.

I know you said in another post that your wife didn't want to talk about your crossdressing. But that doesn't mean she'll never accept it. Time was women weern't allowed to be eucharistic ministers. Times and attitudes change.

[jennigrace]

Hi Shari,
I am a permanent deacon which means I will never be a priest (unless my wife dies and I go on to study for the priesthood). None of my friends know so it's just me and you. LOL,
Kisses,
Jennigrace

[Casey Morgan]

I guess that bit in my post wasn't as clear as I thought. Sorry. Those questions were meant to be ones that you probably hear from parishoners who have a misconception about your situation.

The church I used to go to used to have a married deacon. He was a great guy. For many of us he was the first married deacon we knew. So he educated us as to his situation, including his other job. He always had interesting homilies. He tended to touch on his marriage and job, giving them a "hey, I'm dealing with these things too" feel.

[Butterfly Bill]

If you would like a church that has services that very much like Catholic masses, but is tolerant toward GLBTs, your local Episcopal church might be one. (But not all of them yet.)

[cdgirl]

I have been dressing for a LONG time but only my mother knows. My wife and daughter don't know. As far as everyone is concerned I'm a straight "regular" guy. I've coached for a long time and I'm a deacon at our church (Catholic). I wish people were more accepting. it just feels so right to be in my femme clothes especially the panties. Let me know how you all feel.

hi im roberta the only one who knows about my cding is my wife who disapproves of it.but now i think my daughter found out by finding my cd email what should i do i don't want any of my girls to know please give me advice please roberta.

[jennigrace]

Hi Roberta,
How old is she? If your wife doesn't approve, it's going to be tough. It really depends on how old she is and how much she can handle. Why don't you email me at jcdg20@aol.com.
Jennigrace

[VeronicaMoonlit]

It does make me cross when girls say "why can't I be accepted" when you don't try to do something about it like getting out of the closet and making a stand for yourselves.

It makes me cross too. It's time we stood up proud for ourselves rather than waiting for things to be handed to us.


Veronica
Rondelle (Ron) Rogers Jr.

[Connieminiskirts]

I have been out of the closet for avery long time. And yes it does bother me sometimes that my own 4 sisters, (the very ones who STARTED this with me) and my 2 brothers refuse quite literally to have anything to do with me as long as I "keep dressing up as some 'damned' fairy boy" as my one sister put it.
But I have been quite blessed to have a totally accepting wife, a few friend who know and dont care, even let me visit dressed, and thats cool! My stepson, his little girl now 5 as well as his ladyfriend accept and welcome me.
As well as his older sisters kids. His sister doesnt. But thats okay at least she stopped making her stupid little comments about it.

I am who I am, I am NOT going to change for anyone but myself! I even wrote a letter to one of my sisters, who made the afforementioned comment and told her how I felt about her and her attitudes. I still have it and when I get my book of poetry and other musings I've written all put together I am going to include it!

I guess what I am saying is this, People can either accept me as I am or reject me. Or even reject this part of me. I don't try to force anyone to accept me, any part of me. They either do or don't. It's as simple as that' and I have found for the most part that when I approach someone I want to share Connie with, most generally I get a favorable response. Or at the least I am met with, "well thats okay for you, but I dont want to see it" And thats okay too.

Shoot I have 2 sisters that think I am a "Black Sheep" because I drive a truck for a living. So I guess I just can't please everyone.

I just gotta be happy with who I am and do what I can to keep my
Sweetheart happy too......

[cdgirl]

need someone in pa area to dress me up so i can be appreciated.
who would like to take roberta and make her feel wanted as a woman.
i live in blakeslee pa.im tired of dressing in secret.

[Jasmine Ellis]

my wife is the onlt one whos knows

[Noel Chimes]

All of us are asking for acceptance, but society does NOT want to accept a "man" in a dress. We, as part of the human race, are only expressing what we feel inside. Why is that such a threat?
If we present ourselves to the public as women, then treat us with the same courtisies as you would any other woman. I mean wasn't freedom of expression one of our basic liberties?
It's up to people to change the way they look at us and educate th rest of the world that we are no different than they are. We work, pay bills, raise families, shop,( oh boy do we shop), just like anyone else. The difference is that we prefer to do all these things in a dress, skirt and top, and heels. However for some unknown reason society thinks we are weird. I wonder if they thought Ben Franklin was weird when he stood out in a rainstorm trying to fly a kite with a key attached to it? Did they think Christopher Columbus was weird when he said that the world was round?
Personally, to my sister Roberta, it may become necessary to ask the tough questions, ( did you read my e-mails?). You have to find out what she really knows. Until you do you will be stressing yourself right into the hospital. Don't make it worse on yourself. You can always tell her that you were curious and made up an alter ego to compile the information so that you could make an informed decision on the subject.

[Penny]

I anc accept not being accepted by everyone but rejection by anyone is the hard pill to swollow!