Expressing your feminine side...without dressing....

[Megan_S]

In situations where dressing was impractical, unwise, or other wise inaccessible, what have you done to express your feminine side?

I ask, as my life situation puts me in a situation where I cannot dress for very long periods of time(months), but I do have that burning need to somehow express my inner self.

I look forward to hearing your thoughts and experiences!

[crusadergirl]

i don't have alot of time to dress either so i do start to act like a girl when i'm still dressed as a guy. I still don't know why but i was a friends house the other night and i was watching girly movies he still don'r know i'm a cd but since i act so weird no one think anything of it.

Lace Angel

[Josi]

My toe nails are ALWAYS painted
Only ever wear knickers ... even if they are sometimes "Briget Jones"
Sometimes wear lippy in the car on long journeys.

[Tracy_Victoria]

My time to dress changes from week to week, due to shiftwork, kids, and other comitments, ie last week the kids were off school all week which prevents all dressing etc. So in these times I tend to try little silly things in these sort of periods, ie small bit and pieces that can be used when dressed to enhance my appearance or my femininity, Ie recently I've been mastering taping my eye brows to present a female arch to them. or I bought a pair of really comfortable brown shoes of Ebay Cheap, but they had no black ones, so I dyed another pair of the brown ones which I again bought at a silly price as they were brown over black.

Or I'll work on a look or an outfit or a look, putting it together and having it ready for when I can and have time to dress. ie little things that take time, that can be done or tried separately, to give me more dressing time!

[Phyliss]

For me, it's being able to perfect the different mannerisms, "the walk", how to hold things, what to do with your arms when just standing and waiting.

When alone in my truck from one job to another I work on my voice.

[jenni_xx]

Good question!

It's difficult not to just appear camp as opposed to feminine (there is a difference), so in all honesty, I don't tend to consciously express my feminine side when I'm not dressed, as I don't want to be perceived as a camp man.

Having said this, I do shop for clothes and stuff while in guy-mode, and I don't tend to hide the fact that I am shopping for myself (even to the extent of trying things on on occasion), and I suspect that during such times, my femininity expresses itself even without me realising it! This would be through subtle gestures, which I think in my case, come to the fore when I'm feeling much more relaxed and happy.

This is something I have noticed through looking at photos of myself, and I couldn't believe just how feminine the posture I was holding was, or how feminine the expression on my face was, even though at the time I wasn't intentionally trying to act feminine in anyway whatsoever. A couple of times other people have pointed out to me that I looked "really gay" in this or that photo, much to my own embarassment I might add, and also much to their own surprise, as I don't usually come across as a feminine (or effeminite) guy.

But I have to say that I don't intentionally (consciously) try to express my feminine side, in say, for example, the way I walk, or sit, or even in the things I say and the way I talk.

[KathyT]

I do not think that talking with a wisp, shaking my butt and hips as I walk, bending my wrist is what makes me feel feminine.

I can not express how my feminine side is in words really but to say that I am expressing my feminine side because I have my toenails painted? Yes as a male having feminine fashions and styles does feel good, not gonna argue that! Yet that is not why I feel the way I do. It is because I cry when I hear a sad story, or I care about someone else’s feelings more than mine? It is tough for me to really put it in words.

Society for the most part assumes Cross dressers are all gay and a lot of us do portray that. There are even statements made in this thread that being feminine is considered gay. Is there something wrong with that? No .Yes.. I really don’t know.

What I do know is that when I am out in ‘guy mode’, I find I am looking at woman at how they dress, how their makeup, hair, nails are. How they cross their legs, walk and act. How I wish I could be like them and I do not really know why or understand it.

I hate to imply the negative to some remarks but I just hate it when people say they are feminine because they have panties on or their nails or eyebrows are done. When a woman has not done her make up or nails in months for whatever reason, she is no less feminine than a woman who has her nails and eyebrows waxed, hair done every week!

[Win Der Mere]

Well put, Kathy. Observing women is one of life's great pleasures, and there are a lot of different varieties ! Being feminine is a mind state, and dressing up certainly helps get into the right state, but simply putting on overalls doesn't make anyone a mechanic, etc. You can be, and act, feminine, whilst in drab, and not be camp.
Work on it, girls, it's all part of the fun.
Dalesman

[Kate Simmons]

Don't really know Hon. Being "feminine" is a state of mind with me. I'm pretty much the same person all the time regrdless of how I am dressed. I can be Ericka looking like Richard or vice versa. Years ago when I couldn't dress full time, I would look at catalogs, read articles about female things, role play and things like that. Now I AM the role, so am pretty much free to do what I want when I want. You are the creator of yourself, remember that. Ericka

[Josi]

"I hate to imply the negative to some remarks but I just hate it when people say they are feminine because they have panties on or their nails or eyebrows are done."

If you read the originators post it says:

"In situations where dressing was impractical, unwise, or other wise inaccessible, what have you done to express your feminine side?"

I answered it my way .. I "express it" in a physical way because I like to. It works for me so I shared it on here.

I didn't state that I said I was feminine because of painted nails or panties, my "femininity" is a part of who I am at all times.

So, put my comments in the context of the thread ..
"In situations where dressing was impractical, unwise, or other wise inaccessible, what have you done to express your feminine side?"

"I hate to imply the negative to some remarks but ... " ..
is a get-out clause. If you hated it .. you wouldnt do it.
I "hate it" when my words are misrepresented and subsequently a wrong impression follows thereafter.

[Clare]

[SIZE=3]This is a tough one to answer!

Whatever I do, it's probably a subconcious thing. I do know one night at sports, a woman said to me I stand and walk like a girl (which really surpised me at the time!).

I guess I tend to be drawn to girly magazines and other 'innocent' female interests to satify my girly urges during periods when I can't dress or use makeup.
[/SIZE]

[Karren H]

Painted toe nails, clear polish on my finger nails, business lingerie under my suit almost every day, light coat of mascara, plucked eyebrows, and the most feminine thing........massive quantities of shopping!!!!!!!!!

Love Karren

[KateW]

I don't really have any feminine mannorisms as such... but parts of my appearance are feminine: shaped eyebrows, earrings, long-ish hair.

[tekla west]

I try hard to keep my yin in balance with my yang. Being in touch with the feminine side is more than lingerie and lipstick after all.

- Clean. I clean a lot. I love laundry and I swear I can block a sweater better than Martha Stewart. I've even gone over to friends houses and done their laundry for them. Sadly I don't cook, but my cleaning more than makes up for it. I go over to to friends houses and it drives me nuts, so I just tidy up a bit. They have got used to it by now. I do dishes, floors, windows and walls too. And, just for the heck of it, I make great coffee.

- Cooperate, not compete. I try to be in harmony with other people and not in competition. I try to work together, try to be a first among equals, and not the "Its My Way Or The Highway Dude!" BOSS.

- Shut up and Listen why don't ya? Women listen before they speak. Men never listen, they are too busy working out what they are going to say next. So next time, just listen. Don't solve. Don't argue. Don't tell them what they're doing wrong. Just listen. Who knows, ya might learn something.

- Arrive at decisions by consensus rather than dictating. Again a focus on harmony and cooperation.

- Nurture with compassion - Help people grow. Help people become. Help out. Lord knows there's lots of stuff to do out there. So do some of it. I found out that over 50% of the people doing hard time in prison were functionally illiterate, so I signed up to teach reading to convicts. (I don't go in drag, but I'm pretty fey and I always wear some pink) I've had hard-core mean hombre types cry when they could read Dr. Susses. Not to mention read the letter from their kid and write one back. I have one student who after four years is up to reading law books. I also worked with a few Hell's Angles and they gave me this cool "Red and White Supporter" jacket which I do wear out in full drag, and they know it (its better protection than a gun). I get invited to some of their parties. Again, I don't go in drag - though I could - but I go very fem, very fey, and get treated like the Princess I am. At a recent one some outsider started to get on my case and Papa came over personally and set him straight (so to speak). And when Papa straightens your head out...

- Use that intuition - Men don't trust their gut instinct near enough. Hence many of the troubles in the world. Learn to trust yourself. You have to get still to do this. That voice inside of you is very soft. Be quite and hear it.

- Change Your Mind - changing your mind is the greatest female prerogative. Take full advantage of it. Once in a while you can get shown the light in the strangest of places if you look at it right.

- Practice random acts of kindness and senseless beauty - In other words, Be Nice. Help Out. Make things better when you leave then they were when you showed up. Do favors. Put others ahead of yourself once in a while. Be humble. Be pretty. Make nice. Bring flowers.

And remember, in the words of the old Jamaican Folk Song, "That's right, the women are smarter." So act like it. And put into practice the advice of one of the world's most beautiful women, Audrey Hepburn who said when she was asked what made a woman beautiful.

1. for beautiful lips, speaks words of kindness

2. for lovely eyes, seek out the good in people

3. for a slim figure, share your food with the hungry

4. for beautiful hair, let a child run their hands through it

5. for poise, walk with the knowledge that you never walk alone.

[Julie York]

Good question!

It's difficult not to just appear camp as opposed to feminine (there is a difference),

What is the difference? A guy moving fem Is camp surely.

[livy_m_b]

When one cannot do anything else
one can always just think
"they" just don't realize
they're talking to a woman!

[Jolene]

I think for me it is the emotions and the way I look at the world. Seems so natural to me to look at things as a female............ Jolene

[Francine]

for me, it's soft subtle hints....

shaved legs & body (I'm lucky here.. very little on the body anyway).
a small shot of perfume on the lower neck. (beats the heck out of some aftershaves!)
body wash, with a softer fragrance.
a more neutral or even fem deodorant. (I have my own 'secret')
a touch of body powder, (not baby powder but a scented perfume powder)
walk slower and just a bit more fem, placing one foot in front of the other, and 'pulling from the toe' rather than 'heel to toe' like men usually walk. I believe this makes walking in heels easier too!
Talk softer, to almost a wisper, compared to louder commanding voice.
(losing the cuss words helps too!)
shoes that are womens, but could pass as being mens or even 'fem looking' mens shoes. I have a pair of 'penny loafers' with an inlaid brass decoration. I wear women's tennis shoes that are white with light blue trim. and a pair of ankle boots with side zipper, but has a slight larger heel than most.
Women's jeans with simple lines. Only the hip pockets seem to be the difference, but the trick is.. don't put anything in the hip pockets. The slightly smaller waist has a tendency to give a little more curve to the 'hip pockets'.
A touch of jewelry. A small gold chain around the neck, that even clasp. Even a small medalion or religious symbol, cross, guardian angel, etc.

Maybe I am more fem than even I realize.

Francine

[jenni_xx]

What is the difference? A guy moving fem Is camp surely.

The difference is best summed up as follows: camp is exaggeration. femininity is subtlety. A guy who wants to consciously express his femininity will often fall into the trap of exaggerating feminine gestures/nuances, hence why he will often come across as being camp as opposed to feminine. (The same can be said of women expressing masculinity, which can equally be regarded as camp.) But the unconscious (true) expression of femininity lies in many things. It equates to gentleness and passivity, subtlety and sensitivity, sympathy and receptivity. It comes from your state of mind, not the wiggle in your walk. But guys who want to express this characteristic (feminine) trait tend to exaggerate it through physicality as opposed to emotionality.

[Megan_S]

I have to thank everyone who's replied so far, many interesting thoughts on this. It has been quite enlightening.

[Mica]

I regularily smoke 100 mm cigarettes which, in Canada. are generally regarded to be womens' cigarettes. And on my daily commute to work I find my self practising smoking like a woman who enjoys her cigarettes does-holding it in a feminine fashion, doing snap inhales etc