Dressing & Stress

[Elysia]

I'm under a lot of stress at work right now. I won't go into the details. I’ll just say I'm swimming with some sharks and they smell blood in the water, I might not survive. It’s not a truly awful situation; I can always find another job. However, it is intensely stressful.

In better days, when things weren’t so intense, I’d often go to work wearing panties under my normal male clothes. I liked the way they made me feel. I think wearing panties influenced me to be a more feminine in my approach to my work, more sensitive to others, more willing to be open about my feelings and less intensely competitive. I know that in many ways these traits made me better at my job. Unfortunately behaving this way may also have contributed to my current vulnerability. It’s not that anyone knows I’m a cross-dresser and I don’t think it’s because I’m perceived as being feminine—panties didn’t change my behavior that much—it’s just that it’s a tough world and I find it hard to be Machiavellian in panties.

These days I never wear panties to work. Each morning I feel like I’m preparing for battle. I’m thinking “I’ve got to be tough to survive,” so the psychology of panties is all wrong. I know women can be plenty tough but I’m guessing they just think of panties as underwear. For me, wearing panties is a symbolic honoring of a part of my personally that doesn’t want to be tough.

The flip side of never wearing panties to work is that when I get home from work I can’t get into panties fast enough. All this stress has made me want to cross-dress more and more. I’m dressing up more and being more elaborate about it than usual. I have thoughts like “I wish I could dress in women’s clothes all the time” and even “I wish I was a girl.” For me this is a new level.

Does anyone relate to this feeling?

[Joy Carter]

Elysia I have been 24/7 on the pantie thing for months I work in a technical area alone and I'm much more calm and patient with myself. But maybe because I now accept the CD in me and I like who I am.

[Marla S]

I think it is the most normal thing.

Under extreme pressure there is no time for relaxing. Every brain-cell is highly active to survive. If the pressure relives a bit there might be time again.

If I would be pareched I'd first take the bottle of water and wouldn't spend a thought on the dress next to it. When the thirst is satisfied it's time to dress and to think about how to leave the desert.

[urban gypsy]

I find that when things get stressful at work need to dress more frequently instead of just weekends.
But more importantly Don't let them grind you down and no matter hard it gets keep on smiling as this will put the others in a more vunerable position as they will think that things are not getting to you.

[kwebb]

Just the opposite here. Whenever I 'underdress' at work , I find I can deal with the stresses much better and the anti-TG/CD rhetoric that oft circulates the office.
If that's not backwards I don't know what is. Its like this 'freeing' effect or somn.

[MarinaTwelve200]

CD IS what "escapist type" CDers like me DO to dissapate stress. So I can understand. Fortunately I don't have the kind of overt stress you have at work---indeed, I usually dont feel that much stressed at all, BUT when I CD I realize just how much a load I really carry as I feel it bleed away and the springs of my mind unwind.

Yes indeed there is nothing more relaxing and de-stressing than taking a vacation from my self for a few hours and getting away from my male self concerns and my feelings of "Male obgations".

[livy_m_b]

Elysia - wearing women's clothing can be a distraction (as well as being relieving) and you may simply be reducing distractions to focus on work. Or, as you seem to suggest, you may be acting out some personal metaphors about what being a man or a woman means. As to stress causing more dressing as a method of seeking relief, that's a very widespread observation. Your experiences are similar to those of many, I'm sure.

[Phoebe Reece]

Elysia,

I can relate to your feelings exactly. When I am in a truly stressful situation, my male fight instincts take control and I simply don't even think about dressing. However, sometimes I need a break from the stress (and I don't always recognize that) and crossdressing will take me away from the problems, at least for awhile. Just last weekend, my wife recognized that I was under a lot of stress from a family situation and she actually had to push me a bit to dress as Phoebe and go out with my friends for an evening. I had a great time out and was more refreshed and better able to deal with the problem later. As usual, my wife was right.

[caffine]

elysia,
at work im under consant presher fm othere colliges to perform or be out on the street.if u feel better waiting to get home, thats great 2 wind down then. i wear panties at work and they make me feel stronger becouse they have no idea what im wearing for insperation.if it feels good, wear it.not just 4 the job--------- 4 you!!!!!!!!!!

[natasha]

Elyssa i feel for you!!!! I am, have been, going through some very tough times at work also. Crossdressing has been an outlet for me that I am so VERY glad I have found. I so wish I would have acted on my feelings and wants to CD a long time ago, it not only relieves me but makes me feel "normal" inside. I wear panties to work daily, have my nails painted and now wear two toe rings. I so wish I could wear more!!! but you have to do what you have to, to pay the bills. Besides what could be better than to be the "boss" wearing a sexy thong!!! I wish you the best, CD'ing does help me deal with all of the @$$$%holes at work.0.02 (Even though it is just panties at work, at home it has progessed to heels, hose, dresses, bras, forms, shaving and I absolutley without a shadow of a doubt LOVE IT!!!) Do what makes you feel best and keep your chin up, the buttheads usually give up after they realize they arent getting anywhere.

[Deanna2]

I've got to say that there are some nights I get home and can't get into a skirt quick enough.

[az_azeel]

Yes I can relate to dress stress..I was a night shift supervisor for three years..In charge of 27 men.. In the three years I did the job very well.. (met all the quotas.. targets etc) However the last six months of the job I got a new manager who wasnt supportive in anything that I did.. I was critiscised in every aspect of the job so I eventually asked to be transfered to another department..I think I was a scapegoat..as soon after I was transferred the new manager moved on.. sorry for going on a bit.. but the point was I would love to have got home after a day of grief and slip into something more comfortable however I was married at the time to a woman who knew nothing of my crossdressing so I had to wait until I had the house to myself to indulge... things are better now.. I still like to dress when I get stressed and thankfully now I have a very understanding S/O......

take care

the fallen angel

[melissacd]

It is important to recognize that your strength is part of who you are and not what you wear. You can wear panties and still make the tough decisions. Women do it everyday. The thing of it is that when you make the tough decisions in panties you can feel much more comfortable doing it. You cannot and should not let the clothes you wear determine how you make your decisions, you need to collect and weigh the evidence and make the best choice you can.

Now if you are in the wrong job that is a whole other matter, again, nothing to do with the clothes, just in the wrong place and time to find something more appropriate.

It is important not to confuse what you wear with who you really are inside. That is such an important part of what I am learning as I accept the feminine side of myself. It was there all along and I just needed to listen to the wisdom of that side of myself.

Huggs and all the best,

Huggs
Melissa

[Julie York]

I don't relate to this at all.

I think you are using crossdressing as some placebo self dillusion. Do you really think that wearing some underwear of a particular material makes any difference? It is a symbolic thing that you have chosen for yourself. You could achieve the same effect by getting drunk, racing a fast car, or smelling the flowers if you 'thought' it made you feel better.

I have read so many threads recently that make CDs sound genuienly insane that I am thinking of either giving up or topping myself.

[az_azeel]

I don't relate to this at all.

I think you are using crossdressing as some placebo self dillusion. Do you really think that wearing some underwear of a particular material makes any difference? It is a symbolic thing that you have chosen for yourself. You could achieve the same effect by getting drunk, racing a fast car, or smelling the flowers if you 'thought' it made you feel better.

I have read so many threads recently that make CDs sound genuienly insane that I am thinking of either giving up or topping myself.

Everyone is entitled to there opinions.. however I think you are being a little harsh here... sure I get an adrenalin rush when I ride my motorcylce... and I DO use crossdressing as stress relief.. I also enjoy crossdressing as a hobby..
surely the idea of this forum is to support each other.. not put anyone down

take care

[Tina Dixon]

What is it about wearing panties? I crossdress and have problems also in life, but whats the thing about panties? I have never rushed home to put a pair on, I just don't get it, sorry.

[sparks]

Everyone is entitled to there opinions.. however I think you are being a little harsh here... sure I get an adrenalin rush when I ride my motorcylce... and I DO use crossdressing as stress relief.. I also enjoy crossdressing as a hobby..
surely the idea of this forum is to support each other.. not put anyone down

take care

Maybe Julie was just being alittle sarcasstic but i'm not sure if she was putting anyone down. We are getting very sensitive here.

Anyway! I've been stressed this whole year through and it relates to my crossdressing. I took all my feeling of stress and put them into my area of relief my crossdressing. Thus formed another a stress factor that I made CDing into a bigger than it really is in my life.
Get a grip relax and wear panties if it helps. It's really hard to find out what is going on in our heads. Once you pin point the problem the headaches go away!

[Tina Dixon]

Gee more hurt feelings, life sucks at times.

[natasha]

As I said I wear panties daily, and actually like wear them instead of what i used to wear. Is it stress relieving to put more on when I get home? It sure is!!!! I find it more relaxing than the drab I have to wear to work. Do I do it simply as a stress relief? No, but I'd be a liar if I said it didnt help. I CD because it makes me feel better about who I really feel to be.

Besides there is some level of satisfaction of having to deal with some of the people (term used loosely) at work while wearing pretty panties.

[Julie York]

Everyone is entitled to there opinions.. however I think you are being a little harsh here... sure I get an adrenalin rush when I ride my motorcylce... and I DO use crossdressing as stress relief.. I also enjoy crossdressing as a hobby..
surely the idea of this forum is to support each other.. not put anyone down

take care

The question was asked whether people can "relate to this". I answered that I don't. And I still don't. In fact I find that the recent posts about change in behaviour from wearing panties...headaches if you can't dress up...and so on, to be bordering on the ridiculous because it suggests a level of neurosis way beyond any problems related to crossdressing.

If you asked the FtM on the forum if they get all upset when they can't wear boxer shorts for a day or two, or if they get stress headaches because they can't wear some y-fronts, they'd probably beat you up for being a prat. And yet as a MtF, it is somehow o.k. to act like the most delicate little flower because you can't wear a pair of underpants with frills on the legs for 24 hours.

[jennigrace]

Hey Elysia,
I say wear your panties all the time!!!! I know I feel much more relaxed when I do (which is almost all the time). Stress doesn't affect me as much. So wear em. I don't want to be a girl but I do want to dress whenevr I can. I love my fem side and I think it makes me more sensitive to the feelings of others.
Jennigrace

[unclejoann]

If I could dress up more and reduce stress, I bet I would drink less. Drinking and CDing are illusions to reduce stress. But CDing is better for your health.

[Elysia]

Thanks for all the great responses. I don’t take any offense at Julie’s comments, she calls them as she see them and I respect that. She’s also got a point. I have often thought that cross-dressing in general borders on the ridiculous. For that matter what’s the point of fashion, anything that goes beyond keeping you warm and providing pockets is really pretty pointless, right. Besides, I never said my behavior was rational; of course it’s all in my head, its conspicuous self delusion and certainly escapism. I have a hard time arguing that it’s not an addiction.

I liked what Melissa said; particularly the sweet way she said it. I agree that I should not let the clothes I wear determine how I make my decisions. Still, how does one reconcile cross-dressing with the statement “It is important not to confuse what you wear with who you really are inside.” I mean, isn’t the desire to cross-dress driven by the feeling that male clothes do not adequately express who one really is inside. I’m not arguing with the wisdom of the statement only that if there were absolutely no relationship between how we feel and how we dress, why would anyone ever cross-dress?

[Vannacd]

I can sympathize. I dress, often to relieve stress. So don't gnaw at yourself for dressing more if it is an aid to relieving the strain you are under. Be greatful you haven 't developed a destructive way of dealing with the added stress, like too much drinking or pills. A word of warning, though. If you go full en femme, check the mirror closely for left over make-up traces the next morning before you leave for work.

My job situtation was a snake pit a few months ago but has since calmed down, and my guess is yours will too. Right now, it sounds like your in a battle. If wearing panties to work makes you feel too vulnerable to do battle, put them aside until things quiet down. When the Williams sisters want to kick ass on the tennis court they don't compete in thigh highs and corselettes, do they?

Vanna

[connie rotten]

My SO was going through a wild time of an untreated mental illness and unable to contribute anything constructive to the house hold acouple years ago. My stress level was unbeleavable and at the same time my need to dress was the greatest it had ever been.