Question psychologist asked.

[DeeInGeorgia]

Back about a year ago, when my wife told her psychologist about my crossdressing, my wife said one of the first things out of her mouth was "Are the boys safe?". And when my wife told her older sister, her sister asked the same question, like I might have been molesting them. Has anyone else had the same thing asked about about them?

I have to say that at the time, I really came totally out of the closet, and my wife, while dealing with it, was able to educate the psychologist and her sister to some extent. But it could have not been easy. And my wife has since stopped seeing that psychologist.

Dee

[lostmyhubby GG]

Grrr why r so many people quick to judge???? my kids know about my partners cding...my daughter is thrilled cause we all go shopping together and my Son...well nothing phases him, they are 12 and 13...and great accepting kids...their father is also gay and has a wonderful partner, so my kids are exposed to a variety of lifestyles...and ya know what??? theyre ok.

[danielle_from_cal]

It's terrible that people think that, but it's to be expected. I am not sure if you are bisexual too but people probably think you are if they hear you are a crossdresser. But suppose you are bi or gay: Does that mean you want sex with little boys? Not likely! I'm bi and have never had a desire to touch a child in any way. But even I feel a little self conscious when I am around other people's kids. It's not that I want to touch them, or feel attracted in any way, it's just the way I know people think.

People think that you are a crossdresser, so they think you are bi or gay. And people tend to think (wrongly of course) that bis and gays will do it with anyone, no matter the age. They just don't know.

There is no easy way to get around this. Only time, trust, and love will get you through it.

[madylinecd]

the question :'are the boys safe' really upsets me.
i'm a crossdresser and look after my families kids reguraly
i'm super proctective of them,
and i'm sure you'd be the same.

[Alicia_lynn419]

I would have walked out of that psychologist's office. I have myself been in therapy for several years, and thank God, never with someone that shallow-minded (and I am also from Atlanta). I have a very good GG friend who is a psychologist, she knew about my CDing from the start, and she has NEVER made be feel that I was broken or needed to be "fixed"... she has even been out with me while dressed.

It is sad to say, but there are still mental health "professionals" who are behind the times.... but we must also remember that just a few short decades ago, the DMSV listed us as having a major personality disorder... again, thank God that somethings HAVE changed!

[Penny]

I can understand how the sister my have an ingnorant concern but the psychologist is a quack for sure.

[Bev06 GG]

Gawd Dee thats awful,
it just goes to show tho the degree of ignorance surrounding the whole thing. Alot of it is down to the fact that we overprotect our children and have become somewhat paranoid about paedophilia. Nevertheless, I do find the psychologists question a trifle confusing, I thought they were supposed to be trained in these areas. I have only studied psychology briefly as part of a university degree in Youth work, and even we discussed the gender roles and learnt that Crossdressers and TS were not a danger to society. When you think about it your wife showed great strength of character in trying to educate this person, there are some who'd have listened to those kind of comments and then worried. It could have caused you considerable problems.
BEVxxxx

[~Dee~]

Dee~
maybe its the name or something, but ive been in a similar situation.

there seems to be an initial jump to the idea that its all a fetish thing.
its about sex and kinky stuff .. ergo - danger signs start flashing and flags start going up.
when i came out as TS a friend ive known for about 15 years said "oh i totally accept, in fact im a bit offended that you think i wouldnt... that really hurt .. .. .. but you cant come near my kids anymore"


it was an initial reaction of fear and not knowing the real thing behind it.
i laid out all the info i could and then i said for them to sleep on it - luckily they did relax after that.

but as for the psychologist and the training they get .. some dont know the first thing about it all. i went to uni with a psych major for a few years and i know that the only reference to transgendered in all my texts was a single paragraph in one book.
and i doubt that it ever came up in discussions or lectures.

the psychiatrist i first went to to get my ok letter basically flat out told me that they didnt believe in transexuality and that in his opinion all TS's are just closeted gays.

[rosiegurl]

I really, REALLY wish this attitude about children was about CD's, TV's, TG's or whichever, but really it isn't. it is about GM plain and simple. There are single Dads out there who got custoday of their children have the same questions asked about them, it is asked about gay men, especially when they are wanting to adopt a child, anything seen as a sexual quirk or kink only serves to heighten that fear in people.

now, is it bad? to a degree, labelling everyone with the same brush is always bad, not all men are murders, rapists or child molestors

is it good? again, to a degree yes. cause in those rare cases it does actually afford the child some protection, which I'm sure everyone will agree is a good thing.

like it or not people, we are living in a society that has these kinds of predetors around, and we do need something to protect the kids, it is just unfortunate that the rest, the vast majority, get tainted with the same reputation

[Kate Simmons]

Doesn't sound very professional Dee. The first time I went to my psychologist, the first thing out of her mouth was how are you doing? She was more concerned with my perception of myself and how I thought I looked in the eyes of my kids since they knew about me. I didn't openly tell them, they just figured it out. My only concern was that maybe the kids thought it would happen to them but I soon realized they were each their own person and my fears were groundless. Some people think automatically you are some kind of perv since you dress in women's clothes. They don't realize it's just an expression of part of yourself. I was just fortunate enough to pick a good therapist. Ericka

[Joy Carter]

One counselor was in total shock and told me not to do it. He did tell me that he had to go back and read up on CD just so he could answer me professionally ,Huh ? WTF ?

Another told me to have fun but don't get hurt.

Gee could I have saved some money.

[Dixie Darling]

Dee,

What it boils down to is that quite a lot of psychologists, as well as other professional people, aren't keeping up with their homework. From her comment "Are the boys safe?" it's very clear that this person is automatically associating crossdressing with sexual activity. Had they kept up their studies as they should have done they would understand that the two activities are seperate and distinct and would be aware that 90% of all crossdressers are totally heterosexual and have no interest in having sexual relations with anyone other than their wife/girlfriend.

Dixie - http://www.geocities.com/senorita_cd

[EricaCD]

Boy, if you ever needed proof that we should confine ourselves to dealing with psychologists that specialize in transgender issues....

I for one do NOT give a psychologist any leeway on the grounds that "ignorance is an excuse", "it's an unusual condition" or "she had to read up on it". To be sure, I don't expect a professional to be omnicompetent in his/her field (god knows I am not). However, I absolutely expect a professional to do the necessary homework before venturing any professional opinions or advice. To make a leap from learning that a husband is a crossdresser to suggesting that he may also be a molester is malpractice, pure and simple.

Erica

[Marla S]

How likely it is that something you can't train off can be trained on to someone ?
You have to protect your children because of the social reaction and it might be wiser not to tell them (dunno), but I am positve that you can't make a CD this way.

You know the story of David Reimer

Less dramatic: It has been shown that in kindergardens where they tried to eliminate or equalize gender specific behavior (boys allowed to play with dolls, girls with cars an the other way round, etc.) the gender typic behavior has been pronounced by the children themselves and showed more "genderseparation" for the adolescents than children with "classic education"

[Jenny Beth]

As with any professional there are those who got their degrees with flying colours and those who barely passed or cheated. Me thinks your wife's psychologist is the latter.....:mad:

[Niya W]

Well one of my girl friends had simillar experiance. Her wife are having problems over her dressing . The wife went to a shrink. The wife's shrink said I understand it but I dont aprove of it. Then wife couldnt understand why she would not go see her shrink for a group session.

As with any professional there are those who got their degrees with flying colours and those who barely passed or cheated. Me thinks your wife's psychologist is the latter.....:mad:

No I think its that shrinks are people too. Some are just straight ignorrant about certian things, others cary phobias around. People out there still think a gay make will try turn a young boy gay

[Jenny Beth]

No I think its that shrinks are people too. Some are just straight ignorrant about certian things, others cary phobias around. People out there still think a gay make will try turn a young boy gay

My point exactly.....this is a shrink who clearly hasn't taken the time to educate herself.

[KewTnCurvy GG]

her psychologist about my crossdressing, my wife said one of the first things out of her mouth was "Are the boys safe?".

A) If this is true, then she had an ass for a psychologist. No psychologist in his/her right mind would say that!

HOWEVER,

B) I suspect, since this was shared by your wife WHO clearly was/is not supportive, it is either not true or TOTALLY taken out of context.

Kew

[Bridget]

Psychology is hit and miss. Among those in the medical field, it is considered the ghetto of medicine; where those med students who fall between the cracks (for incompetence, and what else) end up. This is the same field who created the "Satanic" day care histeria of the 80s and 90s, where psychologists put children under hypnosis, and "found out" that the children were exposed to human sacrifice to Satan and sexual rituals. Not a single body was found, nor was any "secret rooms" found. Likewise, psychologists can "discover", through hypnosis, that one was abducted by space aliens, or that one was sexually abused (whether or not one remembers being sexually abused). Many hold personal views which are questionable for people of science.

The only possible worse people in medicine are chiropractors. They often use their chiropractor license to give them an air of credibility when selling devices to electrically shock parasites out of you (for without, they claim, one would live forever) or shill pills containing the brains of sheep.

[Kimberley]

I am a CD (well TS to be more or less truthful but let's not split hairs) Therefore I am also:
Gay
A Pedophile
A Satanist
Homicidal
Suicidal
Obsessive/Compulsive
Perveracator (sp?) oh hell... a liar...
Perverted


Okay girls, help me out here... I am sure you can find at least a dozen descriptives in your own vocabulary.....

GEESH ... and this psychologist was licensed? Did s/he ever hear of the DSM IV? I'd be reporting that one to the licensing board...

Kimberley.

[chantelle]

Has anyone besides myself any counsilling skills that can counsill people from the point of view of the cd. I have not a lot to say on this forum, as I prefer to do my counsilling in person. So if anyone need free help, they need to come to SOuth africa.
I am who I am for I love me, that way when someone asks if kids are safe yell. "Hell yes."
For it is our first answer which counts the most.
Love
chantelle.

[Lisa Golightly]

Your wife's Psychologist needs a Psychologist. He/She obviously has some issues.