any advice from GG on how to approach women and how to go about breaking the news
im 23 and never really been in a relationship sexual or otherwise mostly because of crossdressing and being shy around women...i really adore women.....might be one of many reasons i CD but i have no clue how to confront or bring up this kind of toic at all with a gurl........
Boy, I really wish you asked for opinions from anybody here, and not just GG's. You sound pretty similar to me when I was about your age, and I might have a suggestion or two.
Oh well.
I agree with Sharon, I think you should broaden your audience. There are some CD's that have had a lot of experience with this.
My opinion is to go with your gut. If you are serious or getting to that point then youhave to just come out and tell her. Being honest is best. Either she is open to trying or not. That is all you can do. You WILL find a woman who is willing to share this part of you
To dream of the person you would like to be is a waste of the person you are.
Personally I think women admire confidence a great deal.
You should see how many women think Eddie Izzard (when dressed!) is the hottest thing on toast.
I think you set the tone for a relationship if you are strong and confident in the way you present yourself, and it rubs off. Stay calm, answer questions truthfully, and SHOW NO FEAR.
That way you will inspire everyone around you, not just women, to grow up and accept you. I bet most would even admire you.
....we are all made of stardust
I think this is a subject which everyone could give advice...maybe rewording this might generate more response....
But since you asked....well what activities do you enjoy? Do you play any co-ed sports or are involved in things which you will meet cool women? If you are sitting at home and only go to work and the grocery store chanecs are not great that you will find someone.
Also, do you live in the country or in an urba area? KNowing what point you are starting from might help us give you a better idea on meeting open minded females.
Also, and I am sure others might not agree...but internet dating? Have you thought about it at all? Many couples that you see on this forum met online. Other things, creating a Myspace acount , that seems to be the cool new way to meet and hook up with the younger crowd.
Music, what kind of music are you into? if you are a fan of goth or alternative or anything along those lines the chances of meeting a girl open to difference are in yoru favor. Maybe try broadening your range or interest. Most groups have websites which will have forums just like this one where you can find one thing in common with ever girl there and then just give it a go.
As for the 'when to break it to her stage..." well my feelings are once you find a long term relationship and believe that co-habitating or marriage are certain then that is the time to come clean. But while dating casually and just getting used to the whole 'dating scene' you should not go into that heavy stuff just yet. Dating around and going out with someone on a casual basis does not have to be too intense. I would say disclosing this on the first handful of dates are buzz-killers. There is a point when most people are dating when both people just know this is getting serious and things are about to progress to the next level. That may be one point to think about sharing this.
I hop eyou can give us more info abotu yourself so more people can respond with better anwsers.
Well if you want some advice from a CD that has been through what you are going through, PM me or just ask in this thread. I made lots of mistakes because I didnt have anyone to give me advice.
Erika Leigh
Well you can dress-up and go to CD events and accepting places and yes, pick up girls. Sorry, no better way to put it. You do it like everyone else does, and always has. Walk up to the girl that interests you most, try to start a conversation with her. If that does not work out, try the person who next most interests you. Rinse, Later, Repeat as it says on the shampoo bottle.
When you get a conversation going, keep it going, buy her a drink or whatever, keep the conversation going and if it works out, hang on for dear life. Love is more often than not a nine mile skid on a ten mile ride. Still, can't live with 'em, and can't live without them.
Hang out where women hang out. I know this seems silly, however I've lived a lifetime with men, who sitting on a tailgate drinking beer before the ball game are wondering where the women are. Gee guys, while you've been busy with drinking, war, and sports the last century, they were evolving. Try a mall.
GET TO KNOW GIRLS AWAY FROM THE "DATING" DEAL. Like as friends. It will make them less mysterious. Moreover, from the sound of it you would enjoy this type of situation. So try that path also.
confidence. its so critical. Not just to dating (Straight or gay). but to pretty much all of life. So get over being shy. In fact, almost everyone is to some degree or another, they have just learned to get on with it.
Remember, no matter what kind of kink you have, or what little oddity you want to share, or what strange bit of the universe you inhabit rest assured there are tens of thousands, hundreds of thousands, perhaps even millions of other little human things roaming the planet looking for a fix just like you are. Increasingly they are on the internet. They can group together there. From those sites you can find out where local to you such things transpire.
The same rules apply at such events. Talk, mingle, talk, talk, talk. Picking up a girl at a goth bondage fetish party is no different from picking up a girl at a church social, you just might get to point B faster, that's all.
I think that somehow, we learn who we really are and then live with that decision. - Eleanor Roosevelt
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