Reality check

[Mitzi]

It surprises me that so many girls who post here say they want to live full time as girls.

In my conversations with a number of TS's, they all say true transexuals make up only a miniscule percentage of the population. While some transitioned from crossdressing, most have been desperately unhappy all their lives, and only the change brought them peace.

I'd always thought the vast majority of crossdressers were like me, satisfied with our male lives, but compelled to CD for reasons we don't understand, as a part of our sexuality.

I believe most CD's would quickly tire of living full time as girls. Since dressing sporadically is so pleasurable, the thought of being dressed full time would seem so much so.

But consider, dressing full time would mean forgoing many of the favorite items of clothing...the minis, the high heels, sexy outfits. Instead, one would be wearing the everyday stuff of the GG's so as not to call attention to herself, stuff scorned in many posts here.

There was a TG who planned to have SRS, and had a chance to live full time as a woman for a couple of months or so before the surgery. In that time she realized being a woman was not what she'd expected. She decided against the surgery.

Is the preponderance of posters in this forum who say they'd like to live F/T as girls, the result of, (1)this forum attracting an unusual number of TS's, (2)we who aren't interested in being girls are intimidated into not posting, or (3)the majority of posters who say they want to live 24/7 just fantasizing?

Mitzi

[Lisa Golightly]

I do live 24/7... I just have no interest in being a boy... Nor do I have any interest in hormones and surgery. I'm just doin' my own thing.

[sparks]

Yeah but Holly Girl You look great! Ya don't need em.

[Toni]

[SIZE=4]I've only ever known two TSs and both ended up unhappy and lonely after surgery, and wishing they had remained TVs.[/SIZE]

[Khriss]

..I've dealt with comments from TS's who told me I was lying to myself or misrepresenting them by "crossdressing" and remaining male ...
a rather shortsighted viewpont if there was an "out of yourself" , more realistic view of those in the more "silent" majority ..who usually exhibit the most empathy..yet seem an eazy target to alienate ? ..
...shared frustrations.. different goals...I'm not sure ? ..
..I'll just keep shootin' for that most elusive ray of....happyness...reguardless ! xx"K"

[CharlaineCadence]

I live full time. I am a ts. I do plan surgery and am on hormones

Where to begin. Living full time has its ups and downs. Every day a new challenge. Discrimination, Question, Fright, judgement every day I face this and everyday I walk head High forward twords my gole. I dress in a comfretable manner nothing sexy to most people. I'm really old fashened and conserivitive in my dressing but i shall be honest I still get scared. I have run into crossdressers and other trans peoples in my day by day routine but I have manly delt with normal people. I is hard at time to accept my new role in life. I am not used to getting scared over something as simple as someone finding me to once have lived as a man. mainly I find it difficultwhen I am confronted buy children because the parents are to afraid to ask the questions. I fear not the child but their unfalted honesty. sounds dumb but it is the truth. I find I have good days and bad days when It comes to being myself and feeling good about who I am. Mostly I am just living day by day.
Recently I was asked why I put my self through so much why I fight so hard. It is because I need to be myself I say. I have talked to many who have had the srs and are sad because they did not expect the changes they had. maybe it is because I study about it so much that I am not to worried about the changes. I dont know I just know that for me though the road is hard I am happy to walk it. and in time my comfidence will sore and so will my life.

[Sarahwithanh11]

I'm quite content as a guy who likes to wear girls' clothes from time to time, so I guess for once in my life I'm in the majority!

Plus, if I became a woman full-time, even for a brief period of time, dressing up would quickly become routine. It's a special event now, and I wouldn't want to lose that!

[Joy Carter]

I read a story about a TS who commited suicide because she couldn't find love. I'm sure she would have found Mr. right if she just would have waited. As far as the thrill of CD thinking it would be the same if allowed to dress that way all the time is so true. But then it takes a real GG girl a female mind set to say why some women still do it and some don't. I just think it's one of thouse woman things a sence of beauty and pride in who she is that makes her want to be pretty and be noticed. GG's can you help us here with your view !

[Marla S]

Hello Mitzi

first of I think you're supposed to post here, so don't worry about it.

Secondly, sometimes it seams to me that our little community runs into the same sterotyping as the society we blame for doing it with us (that's just human).
If we are at the point where we say you have to do SRS (or at least want to) to be a real TS or you have to dress up to the nines periodically only and feel excited to be a CD, we are not any better than the society. (Reading the other replies, this labeling and stamping system might even have forced the girls to come to the wrong descision. Maybe, we are all not very self-confidently and tend to believe and accept things to fast.)

We all have gender issues and are transgendered. Some of us want to take a piece of a feminine lifestyle (or assumed/fictitious/compressed feminine) periodically, other want to take the hole cake fulltime, and others something inbetween. Some are more prone to the erotic aspect, others to the every day life. Everybody has his own mixture of feminine and masculine aspects (which we can't deny), depending on the desires and, very important, on the circumstances, that might force us to experience feminity in a more condensed way or, if there is more freedom, with more day to day aspects.

So don't worry about the labels, just read and share your opinion - be with us.

Other than that I am with Lisa Golightly, if I'd only had the slightest chance to look that good :frustrated:

[oztallulah]

It surprises me that so many girls who post here say they want to live full time as girls. Mitzi

Only speaking for myself, I agree totally with your thoughts, and sentiments. However, staying as a male underneath, I would dearly love to be strong and confidant enough to be able to go out a couple of times dressed up as Andrea. I enjoy using those strange metaphors that males use when angry??? And when I fire up the Triton Bench, whew??????? What a vocabulary.... .

So, whilst, yes, I would like to be girl for a short period, the reality is, I wouldn't be able to wear what I wear, especially what I wear, if I were a real girl.

Good post Mitzi, thanks.

[oztallulah]

I read a story about a TS who commited suicide because she couldn't find love. I'm sure she would have found Mr. right if she just would have waited.

Joy, I have met a couple of girls who have transitioned. Sadly, I wouldn't consider them as good partners, even though I tried, purely because of their attitudes. I found them excessively moody, and very sexist, and hard to understand their motives or direction. I pride myself in being a good listener, and can get on with many different types of people, but was stumped when trying to be empathetic with the two I have known.

Not sure if that helps, but it is a view.

[Sally24]

I agree that many of the girls that state a desire to live full time are probably not being realistic, but when it comes to alot of our desires, who is realistic! None of us totally understand ourselves or the whole CD/TS thing. We cope as best we can and if lucky, come to enough of an understanding to live a comfortable life. I try not to rain on anybody's parade when they post here. If they ask for an honest answer I give it. If they just want a little encouragement, then I give that.

You also have to realize that a forum like this is not a representative sample. Anybody posting here has to be a little techie. There are still many people that don't use the internet or computers, or don't know how to use them well. Then there is the fact that you have to be comfortable enough with being out in a public forum to even enter into these conversations. Even if it is just an avatar, it's still you talking about very private things. Those two things alone will skew any data, so there could be an inordinate number of T/S or extreme CDs here.

Just my thoughts.

Sally

[Karren H]

Not me! Wouldn't want to be 24/7 in either gender!! Best of both, when and where I want.

Love Karren

[Kate Simmons]

I'm pretty comfortable with the way things are now. If I ever did see the need to transition however, I wouldn't have a problem. I'm pretty adaptable. Ericka

[Abby Lauren]

Count me in amongst those who prefer a duality.

[Teresa Amina]

Probably most responses are of the "Wouldn't that be cool!" variety- a flight of fancy, not a well thought out "Yes, I need to do that". We come here from our isolation in that "Real" world where we hardly dare to think our thoughts, much less express them, so when that living full time question comes up it doesn't really get a good sampling of who's "serious" about it. As for me, I've not even been out of the house yet in Teresa mode. How could I really give a good answer?

[EricaCD]

No SRS or full-time fem for me. I am just a "textbook" CD (as long as the textbook isn't the $#%&* DSM-IV).

Sally's correct though: I don't think we have a representative cd population here. First, because this forum is not oriented toward explicit sex, we probably get limited participation from the very large population of CDs who are strictly in it for the sexual kicks. Moreover, I suspect that a lot of our full-time friends may simply be more active posters. Remember that there are hundreds of registered and unregistered lurkers here - and who knows how many or few of them really wish to be fem 24/7.

Erica

[JoAnnDallas]

I always thought that there was a requirement for a TS to live 24/7 as a female for at least a year before they would consider SRS. I understand that this requirement is to allow the TS to determine if this is really what she wants to do. I have wondered what it would be like to live 24/7 as a woman. Last year I had the chance to dress almost everyday for about three months. during the day I would wear dresses or skirts and in the evening and weekends, ladies slacks and T-shirts. I even wore panties 24/7. I would go out occasionaly in a dress or skirt, makeup, wig, the whole thing, but mostly I stayed at home.
Having had a small taste of almost living full time as a woman, I would have to say, that I don't think I would every go the full TS route. There are times when I really enjoy just being a guy.

[Georgia_63]

I often get asked if I intend to transition and the answer is NO! I have had the "fake" tag thrown at me by "real" TS girls because of this.
I have thought long and hard about this issue and seriously considered hormones, but for me the numbers just do not stack up. What would I gain against what I risk loosing, kids, job, friends (yes it does happen ALOT!). My reality check came from a real life friend who is a TS girl. She has been on hormones and living full time for over 5 yrs. She has already had breast implants and facial surgery. As I write this she is recovering from her SRS. She said to me about 12 months ago .... " after all this time there are still somethings I realy miss about my male life"

All said and done I still do not consider myself as TS, more bi-gendered ... as is often said "best of both worlds".

[Sandra]

Well my SO lives 24/7 and has done for the past 18 months and is very happy. She has no intentions of taken hormones or any surgery, she is just happy as she is.

[Priscilla Ann]

Mitzi,

Count me in as a member of the group that you consider yourself a part of.

[Niya W]

I've moticed the girls that were miserible as CD's that transtion are miserible TS.


I'm, around lots of TS. I could say I know atleast 12 personaly. ALot of girls go into it with thier eyes shut. Expecting it to be a magical bullet. Some times I wished my
desires to be a woman was much stronger than it is so I would know which way to go. Right now i'm on the fence.


I dress for me. Its a part of me. NO sexual thrill just for me. I am a one of those girls that goes out in the day time and just every day things dressed

[kristine239]

... comes when you go to one of the TG conferences. Not only do you have the ability to interact with both pre- and post-op TS's, but you have the opportunity to meet with other CD's like you. This might broden your prospective of our community.

For me, I have been living in both worlds for over 25 years. I enjoy both sides and wouldn't change any thing that I do.

[Raven Sretaw]

Frankly I agree with Mitzi as to the fact that I enjoy being both male at times, and female when I really want and need to relax and drop the pressure of being a male for awhile. I myself find dressing as a female to be exciting and relaxing. Yes there are times that I wish I could be dressed 24 and 7 as a women but I think it would be boring after awhile so I'll just stay as who I am, a male that gets in touch with his female side and is comfortable wit both personas, Its easier I think because I'm a Gemini.

So hugs and kisses you all, Raven

[~Kitty GG~]

Miserable people will be miserable. Whether they're CDs, transition, have no gender issues, are single, are married, are rich, are poor..

People who look for something to solve their problems will always be disappointed and feel that "something" has let them down. People who realize problems are part of life and deal with them but don't let the problems take over life will look to themselves to solve problems rather then "something" or even "someone".

So those who imagine that transitioning will be some magic bullet, are doomed to be unhappy. Or if they're miserable before transition.. they'll still be miserable. Afterall the things that are troubling them before transition aren't 100% about gender.

The trick is for each to figure out who they are and what role they would most like to have in life.

I think the answers are there for the asking. That if you just listen to yourself you can find what works for you. Too many are looking for the answers from the outside. Asking other people to figure it out for them. Asking either "can I" "should I" or "will you accept me". But if the individual hasn't even accepted themselves then its a bit early to be asking others to.. and if they have accepted themselves then I think they'll already know the answers.

Although I do think there are more CDs in the world than TSs.. I do think that some consider themselves CDs because that's as far as they've come to understand themselves, and they may come to recognize that they are TS as they get more bold in their CDing.

I also don't think that "transition" is a set term. Transition is whatever steps the individual decides to take. Its not always SRS & hormones. It can be very simple or include any of the different options all the way past hormones to SRS.

Some have even transitioned to an androgynous existence. And as long as they feel comfortable being themselves in the end.. that's success in my book.

I know happy TSs who have transitioned (they were happy with life in general before transition tho.. just wanted to change the body to match their inner gender.. not looking for transition to solve their problems). And I think there are a significant number who are happy and have no regrets. But the squeaky wheel gets the grease... and so we always hear more from the unhappy than we do the happy.

I'm not surprized that someone who's transitioned would sometimes miss aspects of their former life. Don't we all do that?!? We always look back with fondness at the past. Even if we weren't all that fond of it when we were living it.

I think that a lot of the post about going 24/7 are fantasy. That many enjoy being CD and being able to spend time in both genders. So its fun to answer when a question is asked about what they'd do or if they think about it.


Love & Hugs
~Kitty~