Question for the CDers from a GG

[SherryLynn GG]

[SIZE="2"]My husband is a CDer, he's on this board as well and ive asked him this question several times but id like to hear other answers.

When he dresses as Paige he always wants to wear short skirts, high heels, & lots of makeup...my question is Why?? I dont dress that way, alot of GGs dont wear short skirts & dresses and full makeup all the time. He says he wants to feel like a woman which I understand.

Even when I look thru pics online of other CDers they are normally in dresses or short skirts, low cut shirts, high heels and lots of makeup. I mean I accept him 100% id just like to see him in some less "hoochie" clothes. And not trying to offend anyone on here, its just my opinion. Id just like to see him in more jeans, longer skirts and things that are I guess more ladylike is what im trying to say. Just curious as to what others have to say Have a nice day![/SIZE]

[Emeralddragon]

Well some people like to feel sexy and for most men its been bred into them that short skirts high heels and lots of makeup = sexy. All you really need to do is maybe have Paige try on other outfits something more "proper". If she does it often enough she will learn to dress less like a "hoochie" and feel more comfortable in the less trashy attire.

Then again it may just be the only form of clothing she can really feel feminine in. After all everyone feels the need to express themselves in different ways.

For arguements sake lets just say that she doesnt really feel sexy in anything else. maybe just ask her to mix it up for starters. A long skirt with llots of makeup and heels. Flat shoes with the short skirt and makeup. Very little makeup with the short skirt and heels. After those small changes she might be willing to mix it up more and find she likes it better in less "hoochie-esque" things sometimes.

[Pamela girl]

As for me on this subject those are the type of clothes I love to wear, shot skirts high heels, ect
I think is is because that is what turns me on and I love seeing women wear that. Just aas you might not like guys with beer gut and wife beater shirts even though that is the way a lot of males are.
Another reason might be these are things we can't wear anyother time, Jeans and shorts we can wear anyway so where's the fun in that.
Just my 0.02 worth.
He is lucky to have an accepting wife

[heathr1]

I've never completely dressed, let alone loads of make-up.

Aleather mini and lipstick does me perfecly.

[Sharon]

Many of us who actually go out and try to blend in do wear jeans, shorts, and longer skirts.

But there are times, when I plan on staying home, that I will dress in something totally inappropriate for my age and size. Why? Because, once in a while, I just want to look especially feminine.

[Calliope]

I'm up for this question 'cause I do the earthy-crunchy commune look almost always. I would guess most CDers are trying to reverse-compensate. The whole Jane Russell hottie Hollywood look is one reason feminists will not truly embrace TGs and CDs as their sisters - they feel it's more sexism (albeit internalized). Myself, I've been blessed with superlong girl hair and a small frame (size 6, easy) so I've been free to take my dressing where I want - essentially a simplied version of Joni Mitchell (note her huge hands). I don't shave my arms or legs, either; my wife has equally hairy legs. But (!) if I had the wide shoulders and weight associated with 'average malehood,' I'd probably be seeking solace in conspicuously oohlala stuff - which I believe gives CDing a sexual flavor I, personally, can live without (then again, I'm 46 now; when I dressed in my twenties I favored a '****ty' presentation).

[Kimberley]

I think most of us have some little items like this; some more than others. For me it is usually jeans or shorts, tees etc. I just try to dress down to blend in.

[tekla west]

I love the long broomstick skirts, the tights, the big chenille sweaters and that is what I tend to wear. I have short skirts and all that for the club nights, but I don't wear them as a general rule.

I think going out changes a lot of that. You begin to look more closely at what the real GGs are wearing, and try to blend into that. If you are just inside, just you and that mirror, then its nothing but fantasy, and the streetwalker look is what many - if not most - males are taught to think is sexy.

Likewise the fetish parties I work at, well I would not wear a schoolgirl uniform or cheerleader outfit to to to Macy's in (unless it was Halloween). So I think it all depends on where you are going.

As for makeup a lot of CDs overcompensate, there is something to be said for learning some things at 14 rather than 34. I agree that less is more in this regard.

[Billijo49504]

Hi, of all my skirts,I only have 2 that are short, and those are skorts. You know, with shorts built in. I'm out of work this week, so I can dress every day. Whether I try to pass or am dressed in fem drab. Saturday I had on a just below the knee denim skirt and t shirt. Sunday I had on a pair of dress slacks and a nice shirt. Monday it was cool here, so I had jeans and a light hoody. Yesterday the 4th, for the bbq I had on Levi shorts, 2" above the knee and a nice print top. And today I have on cargo shorts and a tshirt. I had on loafers or sneakers except for Sunday. And my wife won't let me out of the house with "Hoochie" makeup. But on the other side, it's fun to ham it up for the camera. And experiment with makeup. When I do, I take a picture so I can see what it looks like.
One thing for sure, we all try to look like women we see. Some are our age and some try to look like ladies 20 or 30 years younger. That's my take on the subject.... ...BJ

[fionasboots]

Hmmm, well I would certainly say that high-heels are a must for me but even in bloke-mode I actually find it difficult to walk in completely flat shoes, trainers etc (this in no way implies that I find it easy to walk in high heels).

I feel that the heels thing is to do with height/posture - I feel more in proportion and that I'm holding myself right when in heels.

As for the short skirts, yes guilty as charged on that count as well although, in my defence mine aren't *that* short ... erm, well not all of them. I think skirts generally look more girlie that trousers/jeans so that's probably why CD'ers pick them more often.

I have dressed in a trouser suit before and I actually found that was just as thrilling as the short skirts; with the heels it was quite an elegant (hopefully) yet toned-down look. It also felt quite nice as well as the material is obviously lighter and, for want of a better word, swishy-er that the usual guy suits.

So maybe you could suggest that to your husband.

As for the makeup - by alot do you mean it needs to be surgically removed later on due to the number of layers? Or it is just so bright and over the top that (s)he looks like they fell into the paint factory?

If he's getting it wrong/over the top then maybe you could help him out - I'd love someone to do a make-over on me, maybe he'd enjoy it as well.

I'm sure you can find clothes/make-up that aren't over-the top but are still very sexy, certainly with your acceptance and help I guess you can both be very happy

[Megan72]

I think that most of us are over the top in our choice of dress. It may be because we want so much to come across as feminine, and the way we do this is to dress in the most feminine clothing we can find. I prefer a more casual look to the hyperfem, i just think i look more natural.

[linnea]

I've never gone for the ****ty look or the very "Hollywood" look because as a man, that's not the kind of look that attracts me. I think that lots of CDs wear more conservative, age-appropriate clothes than your SO seems to find appealing. But there are all kinds of men and all kinds of women. I wear what makes me feel feminine and pretty (quite a challenge since I am 6'0" and have a large frame). I think that I would look pretty ridiculous in the kind of clothes you have described, but I might feel differently if, like one of the respondents, I could wear a size 6 and had long "girl" hair.
I think that your SO is very lucky to have your support and understanding.

[JasmineR]

I can't exactly say why we like to wear short skirts, I do myself but not all the time. I like to wear normal everyday wear like women as well. I wear flip flops, jeans, shorts, capri's whatever. As for make up, I would prefer not to wear a lot but I have to in order to try and hide the 5 o'clock shadow... Which doesn't always work out for me.

[Dixie Darling]

It may not have anything to do with what he sees you wearing, but rather what seems feminine to him and what he’s attracted to. This varies from one CD to another and what one views as being very feminine may not be what another sees that way. I’m the type who prefers what I only know how to describe as the elegant, classy, or glamorous look since that’s what represents a LADY at her most feminine. Longer DRESSES, longer skirt/top combinations, coordinated makeup, jewelry, shoes, hair style, etc, emulate femininity more to my personal tastes. Your husband seems to see more femininity in the styles you’ve described as his preferences so that’s probably the reason he has an affinity for those kinds of clothes. There’s nothing wrong with his choices if those are his preferences, but he might also find that he would come to enjoy a more lady-like look if he would give it a few tries.

As far as the makeup is concerned, it takes more for most males to begin to achieve a more femme look. Beard cover is the main reason and the sometimes ‘harsh’ lines of the male facial features have to be more contoured and ‘toned down’ to begin to look more feminine. However, this is an area where, as you’ve already discovered, it’s often overdone. This is also a good place where some experienced GG “mentoring” is a good idea.

Dixie -- http://www.geocities.com/senorita_cd

[ashlee chiffon]

well, for me, maybe its a midlife crisis kind of thingie...wanting to Still look sexy as a girl, wearing the clothes that look sexy to me...and maybe That's what it's all about...there are very few gals about that want to dress sexy in skirts and dresses, anymore...just want to be comfortible and casual...and that's ok, but when a cd dresses, they can be in drab and be comfortible and casual...but when wanting to be fem...then its usually skirts, heels, makeup, hose, and wig...transforming them from a guy into a gal...and wanting to show off their hot legs!

may be hard to understand for a GG, but it is...what it is...luv...

[Emma England]

Crossdressers are normally attracted to sexy women.

When a beautiful young lady wears makeup, with a short skirt and long smooth legs, they get a lot of sexual attention.

Some cds want to imitate that same look.

A long skirt is feminine, but a short skirt is feminine and sexy.

[SherryLynn GG]

[SIZE="2"]Thanks for all the input While I agree with alot of things said here, one thing I dont agree with is that men are attracted to sexy women and thats why they wear short skirts...well I find myself very sexy and I dont have to wear a short skirt to show that, my husband also tells me im sexy and I can be wearing jeans and a shirt so its not the clothes that make a woman sexy its the woman [/SIZE]

[Marla S]

[SIZE="2"] ... my husband also tells me im sexy and I can be wearing jeans and a shirt so its not the clothes that make a woman sexy its the woman [/SIZE]

That's true, but imagine how feminine your husband would look in jeans, t-shirt, and without makeup ?
Heels, short skirt, makeup, stockings (best in black red or pink) are the "ultimate" feminine clothes and therefor are the highest contrast to the male self. With these items it is kind of "most easy" to look feminine and most of us started somewhere there. "Dressing down" needs practice as the less feminine or eye-catching the clothes look the harder it gets to look feminine.

Just my 0.02

[Sarah Rabbit]

IMHO..GG's can dress and make up whenever they want and have been allowed to do this since they were old enough, thereby they do not need to all of the time, where as we CD's were not allowed to. We were expected to be 'Boys'. Now we create our own destiny, we can dress to our hearts content and when we do, we go the 'Whole Nine Yards'

Sarah R.

[sparks]

Since I rarely dress fully all I can say is that men have their own version of what feminine is! A guys perspective has been scewed for along time. Just look at the pin-up art of the 30's, 40's, 50's. Always risque. Practice makes perfect and if as you say you fully support his dressing take him shopping. Show him how dressing down can be just as feminine as dressing up.
For me since dressing time is little I simply go for something hurried but ultra femme. I get my dose and back to drab. Maybe this is what your SO used to be used too as well. Now she can slow things down abit and get used to the fantastic sensations of a full length skirt.

[LucyLoo]

For me, I was bottled up not being able to dress in feminine clothes that when I finally came out and went for it I wanted to be very very feminine. So things like short pleated skirts, ball dresses, etc.. were all things I wanted to wear.

These days (although I still love those outfits) it tends to be just nail varnish, jeans and a top. For me it was the bottling up and release which made me so keen on being the extreme feminine image (tarty skirts / tops etc).

[Eugenie]

Hi Sherry,

There is a great variety for X-dressers choice of clothes. Indeed many like very short skirts or dresses but probably as many like to wear longer skirts and dresses. Some also like to wear pants...

There are also various motivations. The will to pass as a woman in the street entails more casual style of dressing up. Some like high class dresses, just for the look, a style that women wouldn't normally wear in the streets. But some like to dress very provocatively "sexy". Note that I agree with you that it isn't necessary to wear very short skirts or dresses to be very sexy... But this may be linked to the stereotype of the "sexy girl" which is still prevalent in movies and in various commercials. There may be the appeal of the "forbidden thing" in the choice of extremely short skirts and provocatively high heels shoes.

As far as I am concerned, I tend to be on the longer side with regard to my choice of clothes. I belong to the first category, I want to look as much as a real woman as I manage to achieve. I try to adapt my clothes to the circumstances. I think that age also plays some role in the choice of clothes: I'm almost 60 and if a few women can wear miniskirts at 60, that isn't the majority

I admit that in rare occasions I feel like dressing sexy, just like a real woman does from time to time to seduce her lover (When she knows that's what he likes). I only do that when I feel "horny" and want to use my image in the mirror as a turn on.

A X-dresser friend was saying that when we do that it is still a male's point of view that is watching the person in the mirror. I think there is some truth in that observation.

One observation though, my wife was less annoyed when my x-dressing was much more of a sexual fantasy a few years ago than now when it is a desire to be as "femme" as possible, just for the pleasure of the feeling and not for sexual reasons.

What's your feeling in that perspective? That may be a point to discuss with your husband...


Eugenie

[Melinda G]

I can only speak for myself. However, I wear high heels, short skirts or dresses, stockings, sexy lingerie, and makeup, because most women don't anymore. If I want to see a sexy woman, it has become pretty much of a do-it-yourself project. Too many women have the idea that they have all the right parts, and that's all that is necessary.
Looking around, I see most women wearing clunky, macho looking mens shoes, pants, tailored jackets and pantsuits. For years, women have dressed for other women, but in recent years, it has just gotten worse. Women just wear what some gay designer tells them is the current rage, and don't seem to care what men think anymore.
I have been single for 25 years now, and always have several women after me. But they really don't have a clue. Most are into the "frump" look. I keep asking myself, "Don't they know how they look"? And since being involved with them, would be a constant source of frustration, I just don't bother.
When I dress, I look better then most of the women I know, and I have better legs, than all of them. Maybe if I find one who knows how to dress, and looks as good as I do, I'll go for it. In the meantime, I'm satisfied with what I do.

[sierracd6]

Personally, it makes me feel sexier when I "hooch" it up. I feel like a bad girl I guess.............And from not getting kicked out of here, I will just leave it at that

[Zelda Noe]

Hi Sherry

First off, thanks for your post. I appreciate alot (not all) of the GG's input on this forum. It helps keep a "balance" with the cders points of view.

Honestly, we guys don't really have a clue as to "real" femininity. Now before the others members here start clubbing me over the head for that statement, notice I said "real" femininity. We guys are wired different internally. We attempt I believe in our own particular ways to "emulate" what we perceive as femininity or what we perceive as sexy. I personally believe sexyness comes from within, from the inner part of a woman, the way our Creator made woman uniquely. Why? To be attractive, to draw a future life made, a companion.

That being said, I can consider "sexyness" as a woman with long beautiful hair, striking or even common facial features. Nice, gorgeous outfits, such as a woman would wear to dress up. Even beautiful feet, with attractive shoes on. Lovely looking hands with lovely nails. I saw a woman in a store one day, she must have been in her late to mid 40's. She had long brunette hair, beautifully kept and combed, straight down to the middle of her back. She had on casual clothes, but man did she catch my eye. The blessed hourglass figure that us guys were not built with, nice looking blue jeans on, a very femme top on and nice looking western boots. I couldn't stop staring at her, of course I tried to be as unoticed in doing that as I could. She was not a 20 year, not a 30 year old, but she was... very...b e a u t i f u l.

To me, at age 56, I not only am considered a Senior cder, but I feel to dress in the style of clothes your husband does is to not dress "age appropriately" forthe most part. Guess one should consider that to be true the older you get. But that us not a set rule I tend to go for the casual when I dress down, and the nice evening dress, formal dress desire if I were to really "dress to the nines". My legs are my weakest point in my look, thankfully nice stockings can cover those imperfections up. Do I like mini skirts? I'd be a liar if I said I didn't...depending on the body they are on, they can be incredible sexy, to downright ridiculous looking.

So quite often when I dress, (as in my forum photos here), I go for a more casual style. I try for the most part to be age appropriate when I dress, to fit in. However, I do like to "experiment" with a perceived sexy look. With my makeup face on I have been told I look 20 years younger than my current male age. I feel younger, behave younger as Dandy, and seek, to emulate feminine manners the best I know how. No female voice though, but alot of cders don't have that skill either. To me it still is a learning experience every time I dress.

Yes, I get excited when I see a woman's body parts, but I think the idea of being overly masculine all the time, with a certain "set rule" of what masculinity is, is often boring to us guys. So at times we may compensate by overdressing, underdressing, wrong combinations of dress, lousy makeup jobs (not everyone, ok!).

But again, that point of view is not the norm. Age is a huge factor, passability is a huge factor. Theese can be factors as to why "Paige" desires one look above another"

Imagine what the Female to Male forum members are really facing as for their whole lives, they were raised female, with the cultural upbringings, ethiquettes, mannerisms, the facial look, the mode of dress. They too are on a learning curve to "grasp" what they individually perceive and believe is "masculinity". The being from the other side of the spectrum, I can't imagine how hard that must be at time for them, to me being "masculine" is...well....no big thing...its me...just natural...so getting us to understand the "female look" when we dress is as unique as the FTM's attempts to emulate masculinity, being natural female. Works both ways.


I think with your patience and personal help "Paige" will enjoy the taste of both sides of dressing, the sexy and the modest. You, Sherry, can be a big factor in that for Paige. Lots of us cders need tutuoring skills, plain and simple.

Okay, I'm getting to long winded here, hope this helps from a differrent angle.

Cordially, Dandy