What triggered your CDing?

[Sherry Ann Evans]

I grew up with a couple of sisters. I had an older brother, but he pretty much lived a life apart from me, and would only say mean deragotory things to me for several years. He would always call me stupid and retarded, and he did some pretty awful things to me for the amusement of him and his friends.

Unfortunately I had the same experience -- but it included my father taunting me too. Plus I was always smaller and weaker than the other kids at school, and on top of that, I was a math and science nerd. My dad and my brother were more naturally masculine. So I got a LOT of teasing as a kid. I very consciously remember being maybe 6 or 7 years old, and whenever my father was angry at me (usually for just misbehaving), he'd always scare the crap out of me by getting right in my face and screaming "Quit being a little girl!" ...In my dad's defense though there was never any physical abuse, but still... it's not a happy memory. I always saw how relatively happy and bright-looking girls seemed at school, while around the boys I always felt inferior and always felt like I had to look over my shoulder because one of them might be teasing me.

Once or twice during childhood or my teen years I'd sneak a pair of my mother's panties or try on her dress or whatever... most of the time I was too scared of being caught to even attempt it. LOL plus her fashion style was always appropriate for a middle-aged conservative woman; there were never any cute or sexy clothes that I * wanted * to try on.

I remember looking through the Sears catalogs, etc., in the Sunday newspapers. I guess my parents and especially my father and brother just assumed I was checking out the underwear models in lieu of having access to porn. In fact, I was usually checking out their outfits and wishing I could look that pretty.

I never had a chance to DO anything about those feelings until I lived on my own for the first time at age 23.

I don't know if all of those early incidents CAUSED my cd feelings or simply accelerated them into becoming clear to me. And yet, even if I (or anyone else here) has got that personal causes figured out, then why do we still dress? Why isn't realizing the cause also a sort of "cure"...? (Yes, I loathe saying that, since it implies there's something wrong with us, which is NOT the case. But I hope you girls can see my point regardless of how poorly I explained it.)

Wow, this reply has gone WAY beyond the "what was your earliest CD feelings" question. Sorry.

[ArleneRaquel]

When I was a teenager I loved to look at the lingerie section of the Sears catalog, but it was the girls that I was mainly interested in

[Sweet Jane]

My earliest memory of being dressed was when I was about 7 or 8 and my mother locking me outside the front door dressed only in a frilly pair of my older sisters panties. I know that it took ages for me to get the courage to make that dash to the back door to get back inside the house and to get back into boys underwear.

The next memories I have are when I am about 12, and sneaking into my sisters drawer and wearing her underwear on my paper route. I remember finding her training bras in a chest in the garage and I wore that on mant occasions. Then I found an entire bag of Mums' discarded lingerie...beautiful panties, bras and slips and I wore those as often as I could.....until the day Mum caught me. She didn't say too much, but the lingerie disappeared (damn!) and I had to revert to sneaking my sisters stuff again.

So, I dunno if thats "why I dress", I feel maybe I have just always been like this.....

[Cathleen]

My parents divorced when I was not much more than an infant, and my mother and I lived in her parents’ home. When I was 9, mom died of breast cancer, and my grandparents continued to bring me up. By then, I was probably already "hooked": On numerous occasions when I was little I observed mom in not much more than her foundation garments. I loved to see her roll on her hose and fasten them to her garters. I suspect that these observations, magazine ads from the early 1950's, and perhaps an unconcious desire to be "just like mom" were the long repressed triggering events.

Around age 4 or 5, mom discovered me trying on her bathing suit; and not too long after that she found me wearing her stockings held up by her pink Playtex girdle, which kept sliding down over my tiny skinny hips. On neither occasion did she give me more than a gentle admonishment not to wear her clothes. I paid scant attention. When I was 7 (confirmed in a picture) she dressed me for Halloween as a gypsy girl, complete with dress, lipstick and screw-on hoop earrings.

After mother’s death, my grandmother gave away most of her clothes. Yet, there remained a couple of skirts, a blouse, a slip, some stockings, a bra, and two open girdles These became mine, and gradually I grew into (and eventually out of) them, with my tiny wardrobe becoming smaller as garments tore, or as my grandmother discovered items in my room, and disposed of them forever.

By age 11 or 12, I was occasionally borrowing my grandmother’s girdles and a long-line bra. From the trash I rescued her old girdles and stockings with runs. Often, when I left my house, an OBG, bra, stockings and even a slip would be hidden beneath my drab clothes. My pattern of taking and using her undergarments continued through high school. While I have very few opportunities these days to dress fully, I remain a confirmed girdle and stockings gal – well over 50 years since it all began.

Cathy

[Jessica S]

first was a knee high when I was little then it was Halloween custome to cement it.

[susancheerleader]

WHen I was 12-13 years old I kept stealing my sisters leotards. I wore them under my clothes and in bed. But I kept getting caught by my sisters or my mother. They saw no humor in it and made me feel horrible but I did it again and again. Finaly I just stoped doing it and mever, ever thought of it again. Until last year. (I am now 41)
I work in a restaurnet in the kitchen. It is always hot, and the waitresses kept comming to work in thier skirts.
One day I was joking arround with the dinning room manger and joked "If I wear a skirt, can I wait on tables?" Her reply was that "If you wear a skirt you can do anything you want to do."
Off I went and bought a skirt. I brought it to work in a bag and went about doing my stuff in the kitchen.
When the waitress and dining room manger arrived later in the moring, I went into the bathroom and changed into the skirt and came out.
When I did that, everyone that was in the dinning room setting up, stopoed dead in thier tracks and didn't know what to say. I never got a negitive reply, but the dinning room manager was shoked too. I reminded her that she said "if you wear a skirt you can do anything you want to do."
In which she replied "Yea but I didn't expect you to accualy do it."
After some fun and a few pictures, I changed back into my kitchen clothes and went back to work in the kitchen.

That rush and feeling never left. I quickly ended up buying all kinds of stuff that I now wear (alone) in my house.

I wish I could go in public... not as a joke.

[Holly O'Niell]

I think I've posted this earlier, for me it was my elder sisters communion dress.
I can still remember how struck I was when I first seen it (I would be about 6 or 7 years old), and of course how everyone that seen her in it thinking she looked beautiful. So, every opportunity I had I would sneak back into the house to try it on. I done that dozens of times and to this day I can't believe I was never caught. I had that whole outfit on more times than my sister ever did and spent more time in it. A while ago, I was thrilled to find my sister had a photo of her with the whole outfit on.
I can't remember dressing much after that till I was about 12 or 13. My sister would be about 15 and wearing all the latest fashions (mid-60's), I just adored all her mini-dresses, tights, shoes, coats etc. I just loved trying on everything. Can't believe this now, but my first time out was at this age when everyone at home would be sleeping, I would get dressed and go out for a walk for half an hour - imagine that - a 13 year old 'girl' wandering about the streets at around midnight. Again, I still cannot believe I was never caught.
Holly.

[princessmichelle]

Hi,

It's a change of tone from the other posts, but it's true and I want to tell you: when I was a kid I had a seriously upsetting thing happen (i'm not goign to say what it was).

Soon after that I became less upset when I was assigned to sort the laundry and discovered a bra....

Of course I can also relate to a lot of what others of you have said.

princessmichelle

[Lanore]

Nothing triggered CDing that I can think of. I've always had a female living inside.

Lanore

[barbaralynn]

I was maybe 7 when I went in to take a bath and mom had bathed earlier but left her panties and bra and a white slip in the bath. when i got undressed i picked up her panties, which were to big but i tried all of her things on and from then on every chance I got I would find her things and spend as much time in them as I could. I never was caught while in viet nam I wrote mom and told her about my enjoying wearing womens clothes. she said she knew that one of her boys wore her things but didn't know which one. She didn't blow a gasket or anything. when i came home from the war she would leave some of her things in my room but i never dressed up for her. Now it is to late. I have a wife that is ok with my dressing and i have been doing it for about 50 years now. I told my sweetee about me before we were married and i have never regreted it.

[Helen MC]

Holly, I always wanted to wear a Communion dress but as a "Prod" family my sister didn't have one. The closest I came to that was a second hand wedding dress I bought in a Charity Shop many years ago. I got too plump for it and gave it away to another Charity shop with some other female clothing I had outgrown as these were clean and I thought that some other CD could get pleasure from them. I did find a really nice Bridesmaid's Dress secondhand made for a chubby woman of my build and I wear that at home sometimes.

[Lois Page]

I can't say for sure if this was my trigger, but 10 years ago (I was 49), I entered the fen-phen weight loss program under my Doctor's supervision. This stuff worked great and, combined with an active health club routine) I lost about 70 lbs in less than a year. Unfortunately, the fen-phen combination is no longer available because of heart-related side effects.
Anyway, my self esteen shot up quite a bit as a result of my weight loss. One day, while grocery shopping, I noticed an offer from Special K cereal: receive a free pair of Leggs pantyhose when you send in three boxtops of Special K. Needless to say the urge to act on this offer became overwhelming, since I had always wondered what it felt like to wear nylon hosiery of any kind and this seemed like a safe way to get a pair. So after sending in the boxtops (and finally finishing the cereal), I received my pantyhose. The first time I tried them on- Flashdance: "What a feeling"! I wore them every chance I could. Of course, I finally had to start buying them from Walmart and Penny's,
since I couldn't continue buying three boxes of Special K whenever I needed a pair. I eventually added panties to my routine and , within a year, started shaving my legs and all other areas (except forearms). I experienced another "Flashdance feeling" the first time I wore pantyhose on shaven legs.
Love and kisses,
Lois

[Sasha Anne Meadows]

I have been a CD all my life but didn't go the whole nine yards until about ten years ago. My wife encouraged me after figuring out my needs. She taught be makeup and helped me purchase wigs and clothes. There has been no turning back ever since.

[lahr]

As far back as I can remember ive had a thing for female legs and feet in nylons. At first it was a visual thing. It seemed like all of the women in Boston wore hose and stilettos everywhere. Lotsa women would slip their feet in and out their pumps while standing or dangle a high heel from their toes while sitting. I could hear the hissing sound of nyloned legs as the the ladies walked around. One day at age 13 I was home alone and dresed in Moms rht stockings, Black patent 4" stilettos, and a garter belt. I paraded thru the house from room to room hearing the heels clicking on the floor and the swishing of the nylons . The excitment was incredibly erotic and one look in the full length mirror and WOW. I still wear some type of stockings almost every day usually with stilettos. Whether in drab or full dress.

[delanas]

It was pantyhose for me a month ago.I would buy pantyhose and put them on once in a while.It was bras and panties after that

[sharon2]

for me when i was young i used to watch my mother dress and do her
makeup and i was fascinated by her lovely silky underwear,she used to let
me fasten her bra,and i loved to walk around with it draped over my shoulders.after awhile my sister who was two years older and her friend
started to dress me up and i loved it.as my sister and i shared the same
room i often wore one of her nighties to bed.when i was 10 mum bought a
pretty little blue dress to wear to a birthday party it was lovely.after that
i dressed as often as possible,sometimes going out with my sister as a girl.
that unfortunatly was a long time ago now i have to dressup in secret as
my wife does not approve.

[Tina]

As a teenager is tried on my mom's stockings and I think that was the start.

Tina

[immike]

I'm quite fortunate,I can still fit into mothers clothes,and I still go in her closet
and pull out a short mini skirt,one of her good V-neck tops&a pair of her black
heels.I order my own frilly underwear and several shades of pantyhose,which
I wear under my clothes,until I get over to mothers house,of which I keep a
key,at her insistence.I just spend about 2 hours,trying on her different outfits
and heels

[eleyna]

Babysitter when I was 12. She was the first women I'd encountered who didn't seem downtrodden; she had a worldview totally outside of my experience, and she was radiant. I'd doted on her; when she sat my sister, the sitter and I would hang out more like a family than with my family. But as puberty started she'd look at me a little sadly, and the hanging out began to dissapear. When one day I tried to join them in a game of monopoly, they were akwardly talking about something, and I tried to listen in, finally she looked at me and said "How about I take you upstairs and dress you properly for girly talk?" I said no automatically, she looked dissapointed and gave me a moment to change my mind but I was in blissful shock. She'd already espoused certain views (that kinksters might call Female Superiority) and given me a healthy admiration for the feminine, and this was just too wonderful.

After the moments passed she looked truly saddened, but said "No? Pity. Your loss" and returned her attention to my sister. After that I started trying things on in risky ways hoping to get caught by her and be taken pity on. Instead I got caught by my *elder* sister who was outraged at me and reaffirmed my "doubts" that I was being very "evil". Story resumes years later, but I'll spare you

[loki_uk]

I can honestly blame my teachers at my first school, I suffered from bullying terribly and had a terrible habit of wetting myself.

I doubt it was deliberate, but I often got sent home wearing those big blue school knickers, and they just felt more comfy than wearing those y-fronts that were so popular in the 70's

Then it was the inevitable cycle of trying on my mums clothes, trying to stop myself and doing the same when I had girlfriends.

I still haven't admitted it to my wife, although she has caught me enough times to know

[Erica007]

. I was the youngest in my family and had three older sisters. After my two oldest sisters left home and my other sister started working, (I was about 10 at the time ) on school holidays I would sometimes be home by myself when mum went shopping or visiting friends down the road. (Dad had pased away when I was 9 ) I had always looked at my sisters panties hanging on the washing line and thought they looked nice, so one day when I was home by my self I found myself in my sisters room going through her pantie draw checking out and trying on all her pretty panties. It felt good to wear them and I liked the way I looked in them in front of the mirror. After that I was hooked, I pinched a couple of pairs of my sisters panties and hid them in my room and would wear them to school some days. I would put them in the washing basket after a couple of days with the rest of her clothes and when I got a chance pinch a couple more. The rest as they say is history,now I am 50 and have a large collection of my own lingerie to wear, and do so all the time.

[Sarah Bayen]

My first memory of anything 'dressy' comes from when I was about 5 or 6 at school. We were getting changed after gym, and the teacher told one of the other boys off for staring at the girls getting dressed, and said that if he was so interested in tights, she'd get him some to wear.

Just a throw away remark, but I then had a recuring dream about being suspended over a pair of thick red ribbed tights, and being slowly lowered into them by an unknown force.

I think it just triggered something that was already there but there you go!

[ArleneRaquel]

As a teen not only would I wear my mother's stockings, but at night I would dream about living my adult life as a woman. Dreams do come true ! from Katrina to all forum readers,

[eleyna]

Just a throw away remark, but I then had a recuring dream about being suspended over a pair of thick red ribbed tights, and being slowly lowered into them by an unknown force.

Lady who got me intrigued sealed the deal when my parents were away for a month; had to take us shopping to buy my younger sister some replacement clothing - knickers, vests etc. She was supposed to be buying some for me too, when I realized she was heading to the checkout having only been thru the women's section. "Hey what about mine?". She lifted a pair of those "neutral" briefs that could go either way, "I've already got them". I didn't know about unisex then. I kicked up a fuss and she flat out refused to go to the "other" section to pick anything up for me. We exchanged back and forth on it for a bit, I pressed it hoping she wouldn't take no for an answer.

[CDtv]

i had an Aunt (rip) who had a most spectacular high heel collection. i fell in love with a 4 inch pair of open-toed ruby red pumps when i was eight and She caught me in them.

She somehow understood and encouraged my new found interest. in the times i did spend at Her house She indulged my fetish and i just progressed from there. Nothing untoward or sexual just a bit of encouraged feminization (perhaps Her fetish)