It's not just the clothing

[Byllie]

This is going to be a few observations I've recently made about myself, and hopefully will elicite comments from my sisters.

The first steps I took as a crossdresser had nothing with clothing. Makeup! Ooooh, how I loved to do up my face. Of course, I was a tad naive as a kid, social idiot if you get my drift, but I so loved the feel and look of a creamy lipstick.

But that was, escuse the pun, only the icing on the cake. I also found that I had a true love for cooking, for sewing, for the arts, for all the activities that growing up in Brooklyn, NY, one might view as "girl's stuff".

My point? I feel that I was able to express my feminine side without putting on a dress. I was able to do the things mostly associated with women and not be shunned because of it. It has been only lately that I know the full extent of my CD needs, and have started dressing.

As my wife said when I came out to her, "It was your softer side I was attracted to."

Comments?

[Charleen]

Hi Byllie, I spent the first 8 years of my life in Brooklyn, then moved out to Levittown. Anyway, D*#n right it has nothing to do with dressing. Once I finally came to terms with who I am in ALL ways, the light shone forth. as I have said before, I'm Lily and there just ain't no denying it. Even when I tried to deny and suppress her, she was always there. That being said, I enjoy dressing, and dress in one way or another every day, as that is how I am most comfortable. Turns out that Lily is the much stronger. For that, I am greatful, as I haven't been happier since Charlie stopped fighting her. Love and xxxx, Lily

[Calliope]

Hi, Byllie

I also found that I had a true love for cooking, for sewing, for the arts, for all the activities that growing up in Brooklyn, NY, one might view as "girl's stuff".

Yes, I recall, in high school, one hallway with divided classrooms - one was home economics (with stovetop ovens and sewing machines) and the other, shop (hammers, saws, dirt). I definitely wanted to go with the girls, I flunked shop every year I was so sullen there wasn't a choice.

My point? I feel that I was able to express my feminine side without putting on a dress. I was able to do the things mostly associated with women and not be shunned because of it.

I can relate to that. For me,my clothes provide a bit of 'amplification,' but it's my collection of proclivities that determines gender.

[lisa33tv]

yes, i agree.make up started me too, but workins shifts i.ve always been the housewife so to speak-cooking,cleaning,sewing,washing,ironig etc.
a gg friend who ii came out too said she wasn't surprised i crossdressed as she always felt i had a softer fem side.
lisa.x

[Casey Morgan]

It's amazing the interests you discover when you aren't worried about being seen as "girlie" or 'less than a man", isn't it? I really hate guy culture some times. Although dressing is nice it's only one part of a larger experience.

Thanks for your post. You've reminded me that I really have to get back to doing counted cross stitch.

[ava_bruna]

make up is the one thing ive never really got into. didnt have the time and kid's around alot but now that I can, so I thought, I still cant, , well more then before now all I have to do is read and look at as much make up tip's as I can and learn from outer's, TRIAL & ERROR, this is why the forum is sooo good, ,someone will alway's give you advice and let you know what your doing wrong ect, but the best advice is,, READ, LOOK, TRY!!!!! then ASK

[Neith.goddess]

I have been dressing for since i almost forgot when...

but I absolutly love sewing!

actually I have been designing my own clothing, and I keep makeing bigger and more elaborate things by the week.

so far ive designed a choker, a small button up shirt,a skirt, and Ive modified a dress for my GF.

I have been so into my sewing that my stitching is quite beautiful now!

I love lipstick too...I used to wear purple lipstick to school, and I would also wear a long black skirt instead of pants...

I think allot of my femmenen qualities are completely natural to me...

and likewise is your case

[Karren H]

Well not me. It was the attraction to the cloths that sparked my interest and to this day its still about the clothing. And the hair and the makeup. Did I mention acessories!! And shoes?? . So call me shallow!! Hehe. I always enjoyed doing guy stuff and still do. Can't cook, hate to sew, I do like to iron as long as I can watch ice hockey and can shop till the cows come home !! But I'm most feminine when dressed.

Where as you had a fem side to start with, mine has developed and evolved out of an attraction to the clothing. But then we all share a common bond, no matter what path we've taken to get here or what our final destination.

Love Karren

[Charleen]

Where as you had a fem side to start with, mine has developed and evolved out of an attraction to the clothing. But then we all share a common bond, no matter what path we've taken to get here or what our final destination.

Love Karren[/QUOTE]
Well, that is the bottom line, now ain't it? Love and xxxx, Lily

[Tina Dixon]

It's the clothing for me, love skirts and dresses, if a man could wear a skirt and be accepted I would wear one all the time and not be a crossdresser, but being in the USA wearing a kilt all day just don't pass with out the looks and finger pointing.

[Wendy me]

i do the cooking the cleaning and that sort of thing too ....and it's soooooo the clouthing not only wearing it but the shopping ..... if you have ever seen that skirt or top or even a pair of shoes while out shopping and thought omg i have to have that....for me it's the whole package from mall to makeup ....

[bgirl]

I once told my wife that if it wasn't for Beth, The housework would never get done. She said "I could get to like that girl !"

I have discovered that the clothes are not necessary! I have felt my feminine side so strongly that it felt strange to be in mens clothing. Talk about hiding in plain site!

[bgirl]

It's the clothing for me, love skirts and dresses, if a man could wear a skirt and be accepted I would wear one all the time and not be a crossdresser, but being in the USA wearing a kilt all day just don't pass with out the looks and finger pointing.

Tina, try going to Seattle and wearing a kilt. I wore a denim Utilikilt every where for a day, even downtown! I was fully bearded and was a man in all ways. The only people that seemed to notice were the other men wearing them and they gave the thumbs up, of course. I was even stoped by a man who had been thinking about getting one for himself. Utilikilts are made in Seattle. utilikilts.com

[Tiffany 1953]

Makeup is the worst thing for me. I never can seem to get that flawless feminine look. I have had "professional" makeovers that were beautiful and some that were frightening. I admire anyone that has aquired that talent.

Yes I do the housework. A womans job is never done.. Hugs Tiffany

[Karren H]

Tina, try going to Seattle and wearing a kilt. I wore a denim Utilikilt every where for a day, even downtown! .........Utilikilts are made in Seattle. utilikilts.com

That sounds really interesting but I'd be way too tempted to also wear utilipanties, utilinylons, utilibra, utiliheels, utilimakeup.......


Love Karren

[Karren H]

Makeup is the worst thing for me. I never can seem to get that flawless feminine look....... Hugs Tiffany

I think the flawless look is way over rated!! Hehe. And out in the real world it doesn't really exist. Ok well at the mall it doesn't exist. . So we do the best we can with what we have and practice, practice, practice. Hehehe

Love Karren

[Sky]

I also found that I had a true love for cooking, for sewing, for the arts, for all the activities that growing up in Brooklyn, NY, one might view as "girl's stuff". My point? I feel that I was able to express my feminine side without putting on a dress.

I don't think I feel the same way. Cooking, yeah! I'm a really good cook (no, really!) but the act of cooking does not make feel feminine at all. Sewing, arghhh, I can't fix a shirt button for my dear life. Arts, I enjoy and practice (I am a musician), but then again I don't see any of that as girly stuff.

Dresses and makeup, though, are my thing, and yes it makes me feel feminine. And there's more -the proper attitude, manners, walking, gestures, all that is essential and plays a big part in being a cd.

[Stephenie S]

Dear Byllie,

What an interesting way to start a thread. And what interesting responses.

I too feel it's not just the clothes. I find that Stephenie is always here. I have built a huge macho facade over her all my life. A facade that I am finally breaking down and casting off. I cook and clean and wash probably on an equal footing with my wife. I think this has always been true. I'm the ONLY one who makes the bed. I have developed an ability to do "guy" things though, of course. I can work on the car and saw a piece of wood if needed. I used to insist that I enjoyed the guy stuff. Now I understand that this was just an act. If I have to do it I will, but I would just as soon have someone else do it. So I have a bit of both in me. Perhaps I can say I'm well rounded? (shut UP, Stephenie, you know the weight is comming off)

So I think we can do both. I am glad that I have the ability and knowledge to be able to at least talk to a mechanic, but I find I am just as happy cooking supper and doing the laundry. Or crying as I watch a chick flick. What I find that the clothes do for me is to provide me with a feeling of "rightness" when I see myself or look in the mirror. It makes me feel more complete. I just have a feeling of "Ahhh, THIS is the way I want to present to the world". And I LOVE feeling pretty. Well, I know I'm not "pretty" but at least the clothes are and I can feel well dressed and perhaps a little attractive.

So I agree. It's not just the clothes. The clothes complete me, but I'm there all the time. Stephenie is finally free!

Lovies,
Stephenie

[stephanie3111a]

High heel shoes have always been the reason for me. I am totally blessed with envious legs. (My wife hates me for them and in fact loves to see them in heels). I remember being yound and slipping into Mom's shoes. It felt so exciting. That quickly evolved into gluing on her Lee press on nails. Then slipping into her old dresses. (Too bad she was too matronly and had nothing HOT to wear)

I found out that JC Penney allowed you to order items and pick them up at the store (couldn't have Mom or Sis receiving my packages if I wasn't home). At the time I could fit into a women's 11 shoe fairly nicely and most of the shoes went up to 11. Well, as boys do, I continued to grow bigger and now require a 13. But thank God for Ebay and Frederick's of Hollywood. There are 13's everywhere!!

Now of course I am way into the dresses etc. and making the look as hot as possible. No feminine side here, just love the look and feel of heels (and fingernails and nylons and panties and makeup and earrings and...)