small town people

[AndreaFranklinTG]

I have a Question . I live in a small town , about 3000 ppl.
Think it would be a good idea to got out enfem . I've been out in my car
, but never in public . I just have no idea what it would be like .
Any sujestions?


Luv all Panda

[Michelle Ellis]

I usually consider my area to be small at 30,000... I would think maybe about the next bigger town or something maybe?

Well I'm kinda like you, I've always wondered about getting out in public, but I think I have more work to do first. I've been out in my car tho that's a lot of fun!

M

[trannie T]

If you go out you will be 'outing' yourself. Someone will recognize you. If you are leaving the closet go for it, girl! Wish that I had the courage to go out in my small town.

[Ann Craven]

Firstly : think of the consequences of being recognised.

Remember, Cding is a "fringe activity" : not everyone accepts it.

What have you got to lose ? ( Family, career, etc. )

No problem. Go for it.

Any doubts . Go out of area. How far depends on how well known you are en drab.

Ann

[Rachel M]

If your're outed, than you will be an instant celebrity. Or at least the talk of the town. If you can handle it, then more power to ya.

[Win Der Mere]

This sort of celebrity gets remembered, for a LONG time.

Win

[Eugenie]

There are several dimensions to your question.

A lot of the reactions to your outing as a CD in a small or even large town depends upon how well known you are in your community. If you hold a public role in your community the reactions may be brutal, they may even involve local newspaper articles.

Concerning your own person: are you ready to face the consequences just for yourself. In small towns there tends to be more conservative people than in large metropolis. Their reactions may feel hurtfull to you as a person. This could mean also job loss or if you are an independant worker, loss of customers.

Another aspect concerns your family and close friends. They may get indirectly but personally hurt by the reactions of the public to your outing. They may also turn away from you. Well that's a way to know who is really with you, but at what price?

Here too, the fact that members of your family or close friends are well known in your home town will play an important role.

One other aspect is how feminine you look when dressed. For some of us the look when "en femme" is so natural that in fact most people wouldn't recognize them even if they knew the man behind...

But the important thing is to know if your deep desire to go public is stronger than all the potential risks associated to it.

All of the above is of course based upon my own situation: I live in a small town in Southern France, a very conservative population. I am well known but I wouldn't fear for my own. My family is well known and there I would fear for the impact on them. I'm not "passing" very well when "en femme" and my urge to go public isn't strong enough...

As a result I reserve my going out "en femme" in public to places where I'm not well known, for example when I travel on business trip, and in large towns...

Eugenie

[Helen MC]

I have to say I don't like small towns or small town people. I lived as a kid in a large city and moved at 18 to London and now live in the outskirts of the Capital and Greater London is a big enough City to say the least.

I don't go out dressed, I am quite content to be in the closet although in an ideal world I would love to be able to wear a skirt in public . If however you do wish to go outdoors en-femme, as others have already said you could be heading for disaster if you do so in a small town. Once outed that is it and you could suffer in your home life, your job and even physical violence

I would suggest a compromise. Drive out of the area in male clothing and park up somewhere isolated and get changed into female clothes in your car, assuming you will already be wearing panties under your male clothing. Drive on to a larger town or city and as far as observers there are concerned you are simply a woman parking up and getting out of her car. Enjoy yourself and on your return reverse the process. The other solution would be to drive in "drab" to a motel. Get a room as far from Reception as possible, get changed into female clothing and then drive into town as above .

Best of luck, Go Girl Go!

[kaitlin]

Hello Panda, I too live in a small town...I don't think it is wise to out yourself unless you are completely sure you want everyone to know. I have been taught that most people tell a good thing to 3/5 people and a bad thing to 7/10 people. No matter how you look at it everyone will know soon enough. I wish I was brave enough to let the world know of my fem side but we are not that advanced in our open minded thinking yet. Kaitlin

[Kate Simmons]

Wow, just how much do 3000 people talk to each other? My thinking is that if you do your best to make a good impression (and do nothing weird), be nice to others and show you have a good heart, there is not too much to complain about, is there? I wouldn't mind having that situation and putting my best foot forward as Ericka. Something to think about. Ericka

[NighttimeGirl]

go on these small towns! 3000 ppl? what are the statistics on crossdressing out of say every 10 guys/girls, that would be interesting because if the stats were high you could end up changing the whole town, hee hee

Just imagine that! what a popular destination that would be amongst tourists

go for it and always remember, its like going for a job interview

when i go for a job interview I think along the lines of saying to the interviewer " Hi i come to interview you to see if you are good enough to employ me"

it's a confidence thing and what ppl think you may have(its all superficial)

so when you dress and take steps out think of how beautiful you look and always be smiling.

thats my 2 penneth anyways you go for it

[Karren H]

Well I grew up in a town of 1,400 and unless you pass really well, I know everyone in the whole town would know 2 minutes after the first person found out! And if you don't care then go for it, girl!! But I'd drive enfemme to another town, perferably larger, and go out there first! Get more comfortable going out enfemme...

Love Karren

[Wendy me]

ok let's do this soooooo simple ....silly to just ask if i should go out post your best pic.. then and only then can anyone realy let you know if you should go out or not......

[Angie G]

welcome panda it nice to have you with the family hope you enjoy your stay. Very good point Wendy made give us your best pic the more info we have the better we can help.
Angie

[Lawren]

If you have the urge and the courage then, by all means, go out.
Please keep in mind though, that small towns are rumor mills. It seems that everyone knows what everyone else is doing. I grew up in a town of less than 1,000 and now live in one that has only about 1,600. Granted, it is easier to go out and not be seen in a place where the population is small and spread out over a large area but a higher percentage of the population is more likely to recognize you by you car if by nothing else.
I don't mean to sound discouraging, just cautious.

[connie rotten]

Small town where? It depends on the town. If you lived there any length of time you should have some idea if it is safe or not. Is the worst thing you could suffer is the stygma of being the queer in girls clothes? Would some one do you harm then or in the future for going out dressed?
More info in your profile would make it easier for forum members to have some idea as to how to answer your question?

[AndreaFranklinTG]

hi gals i dont have a camera as of yet but im going to pic one up at the store i should have pics by next week
i just wish i had some one to hold the camera lol
Panda

[MsJanessa]

My personal advice is to try it first in a larger city---at a gay bar on drag night or a bar that caters to TGs---once you get comfortable in that venue then try it in a smaller place.

[Karren H]

hi gals i dont have a camera as of yet but im going to pic one up at the store i should have pics by next week
i just wish i had some one to hold the camera lol
Panda

Pickup a mini-tripod, too...fits in your purse and great for those action shots in the ladies room!! hehehe

Love Karren

[Olivia]

[SIZE="4"]Going out en femme in my hometown (pop. 6000) would be social and professional "suicide", no matter how well you pass. Once you were made, and you would be, if only by people recognizing your car or truck, then the shit begins to hit the fan. If you can handle the spray, then no prob. If you don't want to have to handle it, then I'd sure suggest traveling a bit further for your fun. Just my .02 worth, your mileage may vary. Olivia[/SIZE]

[LindaTS]

I happen to live in a small town, about 1200 people and one traffic light, and am fairly sure I could run around without being recognized. However, there is always the possibility of it and I'm not willing to take the chance so whenever I go out I always drive to the small city that I do all my shopping in. I'm always out during the daytime so the biggest risk is when leaving or coming back to the house. You know, the first half block or so. I've said in the past that I was working on being full time but it won't be here where I now live. Just can't take the chance here.

[tekla west]

I lived in lots of small towns and I just can't belive you think you could get away in a town of 1200. I knew the people in my town by thier headlights at night for petes sake. That and in such places there is always a cafe or dinner or something where the news of the day travels quicker than wheels. If its small town America, they know you by your car if nothing else.

Now, first all small towns are not the same, its a regional thing
Second, if you family owns the town, you can do what you want
Third, where is there to go? My town had a bank, cafe, gas station, farm supply store and grain elevator, big fun. I wanted bright lights, big city and all that.

[Breanne]

Don't forget, in a small town if you go for a drive, you may not be recognized, but chances are good that your car will be, the next step after that may not be to your liking.

[AndreaFranklinTG]

i thank you for all the advice
acually in the last couple of days or so , I have been thinking of selling my house (and i know ill make a killing cause prices have sky rocketed )
and moving to Vancouver BC Canada
its a very nice place there and very accepting of all type of people
thank you all i have decided not to make things harder while i am still here in a small town
Panda

[tekla west]

I hear nothing but good things about Vancouver BC. I would think this is a good decision. I know a lot of the girls in here (and the bois over there) are unhappy because they can not pursue thier life choices where they are, but they resist the need to change locations.

Look, if you want to be a surfer you got to leave Kansas, if you want to be a cowboy you got to get out of mid-town Manhatten.