Thinking about me Mood

[Sherlyn]

...dont post much in this section of .com ..... because for me the clothing really does not give me any special highs ...Oh I admit I like keeping up on the latest fashion quirks ...but a thrill of undergarments does nothing for me ...I find bras a pain ...cant stand wearing shape enhancers ..they are sooooooo bulky yuk !!!!!..now I do understand for alot of you this is your c/ding thing and Im not looking to coz a bad vibe...the reason I,m writing this post is Im trying to figure EXACTLY where I fit in lately ......recently I've been out and in the public eye so much ...being Drab is really hard ...the life energy from whatever triggers this need to be Sherlyn inside me of me is sooooo strong now ..I often forget that Im really male impersonating a female in public ...my mannerisms seem to just be natural in this state ....its kinda haunting and I cant really explain it ....simply perhaps ...I was meant to be a female ...and not just a dresser...which lately is a very confusing journey

[myMichelle]

Don't be too hard on yourself. Sounds to me like you're just as"normal"as the rest of us!

[tekla west]

Given the extremely complex world of gender variation it would seem you are - or are moving in that direction - more on the TS end of the spectrum than the CD end. Canada has fairly progressive laws, perhaps you should think of making those things permenent. Change your name, your gender, and stay in that Sherlyn place for the rest of your life. Perhaps that is where you were SUPPOSED to be all along.

[Wendy me]

and girlfreind that's not a bad thingy....................

[Carroll]

ah, the age old dilemma...where do I fit? Only you can truely answer this if you NEED to. You fit in here because you do. Transgender is like a rainbow; We all fit in one of the colors, from the "I think about wearing something femme" (infrared)to "I had the sex change" (utraviolet). What ever you choose to do, you know that you have our support here.

BTW, I have never said this yet, but you is hot looking!

Carroll

[Casey Morgan]

I can understand your confusion. Fortunately (or maybe unfortunately) I figured out fairly early that I wasn't really a guy but I'm not a girl either. I've spent the last 20 or 25 years trying to figure out EXACTLY where I fit in and what I am.

I'm beginning to think that's an impossible task, and I'm happily beginning to think it doesn't really matter. How many of us have figured out EXACTLY where we fit in no matter what part of our lives we're looking at? Someone once said that the only constant is change. Yes there are some things that don't change in general. But the deeper you go and the more exact you try to be, the more things change. At very small scales little changes have big effects.

"There are more things in Heaven and Earth than are dreamt of in your philosophy Horatio." How many times on your journey has your paradigm shifted? How many things that are now commonplace in your life were simply undreamt of at one time? Perhaps your answers lie in one of those places currently marked "here there be dragons".

Yes it would be nice to know EXACTLY where we fit in. But if change is our constant companion on our journey through life, so is uncertainty. And that has to be OK. You will probably never know what house (metaphorically) you live in, and you may not know the street, but you'll recognize the neighborhood when you get there.

[Charleen]

As Tekla said, this a complex life we live, with variations all over the spectrum. If it's one thing I have learned on this forum, it's that we are all unique and have to do whatever it might be to be comfortable. I call it, being comfortable in my own skin. Another way to look at it is the saying "To Thine Ownself Be True". Lily is the strongest part of me, but I also have to live with the unwashed, as I have a job that requires me to be in drab, I'm alright with that, tho I do have a femme look even in drab, nails, pierced ears, jewelry,ect.. I am always working on balance. Any way, that's my $.02 Love and xxxx, Lily

[StephanieH]

Basically, I think we're all head cases. The question is, how to keep our heads from blowing off our shoulders. I'm envious of you getting to dress that much Sher, I wish my SO was as understanding!

[swiss_susan]

Hey Sher,

Don't worry so much about where you fit, just do and be what makes you happy.

and have some flowers

Susan

[Sherlyn]

Very cool replies here //y'all make good sense...... and Im just glad that you do..helps alot
Thanx for the flowers Susan

[Melissa A.]

Hi Sherlyn,

Gender Dysphoria runs a broad spectrum, from those who only wear panties under their jeans, to transexuals. One thing I've discovered in the past few years is that we are varied group of people. Among those of us who fall somewhere in the middle, It's completely natural to wonder which end of the spectrum we lean toward. Being a full crossdresser and not a transitioning ts is always gonna have it's conflicts and frustrations.(not that it's harder than being a TS, just different). Don't beat yourself up, sweetie, your'e not alone. I often wonder, "what if my self-acceptance had come much earlier? who would I have met, where or what would I be today?" But it didn't. I am who I am. A middle-aged, barely passable crossdresser who sometimes wishes I had made the most of it earlier, or could express this very strong and real side of me more completely or more often. But I like my male side, too, and have always known that physical transitioniing or 24/7 transgenderism or something close to that is not for me. Overall, I'm happy and content and grateful that I finally am happy as hell with Melissa AND David, partially BECAUSE Melissa is allowed to exist w/o fear, guilt or shame, finally. But tlike you, sometimes I think about wanting more, Like I said, cding comes with conflict. And limits. Maybe you ARE meant to take it further, but don't be sad about the fact that you don't know yet, baby. Find out! And be patient with yourself. It's not a race. Luv ya.

Hugs,

Melissa

[Toyah]

Not going there, messed it up last time, just love seeing you an Di having fun babes

[Shelly Preston]

Hi Sherlyn

Finding out where you fit in can be a long and difficult journey.
as Susan said be happy first and worry about labels later.

Its the old how do you define normal and whose definition of normal are we going to use

So you have a normal happy life and enjoy it as best you can.

[Teresa Amina]

This TG thing is quite a trip, isn't it? When I first blundered into this site in March I had no idea how far beyond the Thrill/Fetish thing I was. But if life is an adventure then we certainly have more than our share as we find our way along this weird road.
So here's another source of amazement for me- I thought you were a happy-go-lucky Party Gurl and it turns out you're as introspective as any of us!

[Patsy Stone GG]

Hi,

So, you're trying to figure out exactly where you fit..................I'll tell you where.............right there...................yes, that's correct..............right there, just where you are...............

Labels are labels and the most important one in anyone's life says "Personal Happiness", all the rest are incidental and in the great scheme of things have no meaning at all. To try and fit in to somebody else's definition is a pointless exercise, unless, of course the point of the exercise is to drive yourself insane. The pursuit of personal happiness should be the major goal of everyone; consideration of others is of importance, but not at the expense of your own personal happiness. Labels are just tags on the outside of life, whereas the most important part of life is on the inside, your inside. Where you fit in is where you fit in, in you. Nobody can tell you where this is except for you. Sure, people can help you out along the way, but you are the one who will decide where you are and who you shall be. If you must have a label, choose "Personal Happiness" and the one marked "Sherlyn". As my signature says " All people contain the potentiality of enlightenment; and the process, therefore, is just in becoming what you are." All you can be is you and everything you can be is you.

[Holly]

I know what you mean, Sherlyn. Just perhaps, the actual discovery is secondary and the real adventure is the journey it takes to get there. Enjoy and savour it!

[Michelle Ellis]

I can relate to a lot of what you're going thru, in different circumstances. I've always felt I was meant to be female. But my confusion also comes from where I 'fit in'. My work doesn't provide for me to live my life enfemme, but everynight, for the last 6 or so hours of my day (and sometimes serveral days at a time) I'm Michelle, completely instead of just in mind. Where I fit in is a constant concern of mine. Sometimes I feel selfish because all I do is think about me

I really liked susans reply!

Hey Sher,

Don't worry so much about where you fit, just do and be what makes you happy.

and have some flowers

Susan

M

[Mandy Salamander]

hell i dunno' sherlyn!! r'member mee?,,, don't post much anymore, for very similar reasons,,, but i still lurk a lot!!,,,,, somehow,"crossdresser" does seem a bit inadequate when your picking out groceries in capris 'n a halter-top,,, i have friends now that don't even know my given name,,, th' lady downstairs, moved in 'bout four months ago, saw me in male guise th' other day, walking towards my apartment, "i don't think she's home, mister", she says.(i laughed, didn't have th' heart t'tell),,,,, 'n th' TG/TS forums are just so depressing, too much whining 'bout what a miserable lot in life we got,,, jesushowardchrist,,, i'm lovin' every minute of 't!!!,,, soooo, just exactly who,what,where th' bloody hell are we, anyhoots???,,, i look at my recent pic's 'n even i don't know!!!WTF!!!,,,,,,,,,, o ,,,,,,,,,, 'scuse mee,,,

[Sherlyn]

Thank-you everyone ...there are some replies that make soooo much sense to me and others that have giving me thought ....all in a very positive way
Time to close this thread however coz all that really care have posted or pm'd me ....

[Tamara Croft]

I can still post to it

I think a lot of us don't know where we fit in sometimes, even us GG's I just think, as long as you are happy, having fun, living your life, then you shouldn't be worrying about this

I also think, when you feel it's more than just the clothes, you are more on the TS side of things, just my opinion, but I think you should have been a girl too