Shown how to feel good......

[tekla west]

Secrets will almost always out. Nobody can hold against you what is public knowladge.

[Jodi]

Sorry about your troubles, but it looks to me, that you are better off without her. A betrayal like that can never be retrieved. When I went through my divorce, I was up front and told my lawyer. I wanted no secrets or for him to be blind sided. He told me that it would never be an issue. In PA, the divorce and the property settlement are two different things. Any info like being a cd would have no effect on the property settlement. My ex was very embarressed about my being a cd. She constantly lived in fear that someone would find out. So, to my knowledge, she did not tell anyone.

Jodi

[Bernice]

You've already received a mountain of good advice, most important of which is about the fruitlessness of suicide, but also that your ex-to-be has squandered her last bit of control over you in a hateful and pointless way.

To answer your specific question: Yes, I suffered a similar situation with a sociopathic woman once long ago, until the annullment was finalized. It hurt a great deal at the time. Getting away from her was the best thing I had ever done - until meeting my SO of 30+ years. Could I have committed suicide? Probably. But then the sociopath would have "won". I took the high road, and I have been amply rewarded for doing so. So stick around, and find out what wonderful things are about to happen in your life.

[kamala]

Vera Lynn,

I can only imagine how you feel. You are experiencing what for many of us is probably our worst fear. Remember "Fear knocked on the door, I answered, no one was there" You've answered the door big time! Hang tough (yes, CD's are not sissy's).

Remember what Jannelle Young wrote. What a classy post.

xo,
Kam

[Vera Lynn]

Again, I want to thak you all for your support and kind words

I do need to come clean on something though

I became involved with another woman, as good friends at first, but involved in what my wife calls an "emotional affair" . It evolved into a sexual affair AFTER I left home. So in a way, I probally had it coming to me....the betaryal of my "secret"
I am still friends with th other woman, but I am sure that it will not progress further.

On a side note, my wife called me at 4 this morning, crying and telling me that she was going from a bar wih her girlfriend and had a designated driver even, but the guy was drunk. The car they were in ended up in the pacific ocean, seems he took a wrong turn and drove strait off a boat launch.

She actually rescued the other two and got them to shore as the car sunk to the bottom with headlights and tail lights still lit


They are all lucky to be alive

I spent the day helping them get the car out ant to her friends house, and getting them all safe and sound in their homes

Point is, I still do care about her, and even though she has hurt me beyond repair, I am glad she still feels she can count on me for help.

[Jodie_Lynn]

I know, but it is hard. I run a construction company and have always been this real, well you know, manly type

I try no to show her how much it hurt me, but she knows, she knew for 21 years that it would kill me to have people know.

I do know I will be ok
It is just going to take a while

It will NOT kill you. It may feel that way for a while, but it won't really kill you.

You have two choices:

Let it make you bitter and fearful;

OR

Let it make you stronger and more courageous.

You said she didn't want the divorce. This is her way of trying to force you to stay, but in the end, by exposing the one thing she knew you feared most, she has revealed that she doesn't really care about you, your feelings or your reputation, but only herself.

Bid her "Fare thee well" and proceed on your path.
Hold your head high and look people straight in the eye.

And know that we are here to help you, hold you, and give you a shoulder to cry on if needed.

take care
Jodie-Lynn

[melanieee]

my 2 cents worth,....your ex hasnt realised that throwing dirt is not a good thing to do for 2 reasons: 1; she gets her hands dirty, and 2; she loses ground and you gain ground if you dont throw it back!
I moved 5000km after my divorce,started a new life and far away from the ex
Have met a lovely lady who is ok with my cding and life goes on getting better

[Byllie]

Life is a dynamic system, and all dynamic systems hate chaos. They all try to find a quiet stable place.

My point is to hang on tight, ride out the chaos and you will see calm waters in no time.

[Gurly]

Wow!!! what a bitch..... sorry, but she is...... she did this so you wouldn't divorce her?? what was she thinking.... the ultimate betrayal by her, I hope you tell her to go take a friggin run and jump and thank her for being such a two faced spiteful cow.....

Move on now, suicide isn't the right way, you have children, crossdressing isn't the end of the world for them, but killing yourself???? that would be devestating for your children Your soon to be ex has a lot to answer to.... grrrrr..........

Gotta agree with Tamara on this one. Your soon-to-be ex IS a bitch. Plain and simple........she betrayed you. She's also right on about the idea of suicide and what it would do to your children...and to everyone else in your life. The one plus to your being outed is the fact that you don't have to hide it anymore. Also, in the long run, you will find out who your true friends are in the ones that support you and your crossdressing. Although you don't see it this way at the moment, your wife may have done you a few favors: (1) She will be out of your life and (2) You will be able to dress more frequently. Personally, I sort of envy your position. I am currently floundering in a failed marriage and I KNOW I can't trust my wife with my secret and I'm too gutless to come out about it myself. She'd probably go on the local news with it! Personally, if it were my wife that outed me I would have steam pouring out of my ears. Sorry that this had to happen and it WILL get better.

[Tamara Croft]

On a side note, my wife called me at 4 this morning, crying and telling me that she was going from a bar wih her girlfriend and had a designated driver even, but the guy was drunk. The car they were in ended up in the pacific ocean, seems he took a wrong turn and drove strait off a boat launch.

Oh crap.... that's not good, maybe I shouldn't have told you to go tell her take a running jump

[Vera Lynn]

Again...I must say how warm this place makes me feel inside.
It is like finally finding my own kind

The support and advice you all have provided me mean more than you can know, I am certain of that

I look forward to the day when all this drama is behind me and I can just be the person I am


This board is truely a shot in the arm for me now.


Thanks to each and every one of you from the bottom of my heart

Vera

[michelle19845]

i hope things get better for you.sooner or later it'll come back to her for what she did.watch/give it time.it always happens,good ol karma.

[RhondaT]

Sometimes things happen for a reason that we do not understand. I had two ex wives that outed me for my feminine needs and desires. When the perfect woman came along she saw to it that I was placed on hormones and helped me with everything I needed to become the woman of my dreams. Out with the bad in a in with the good!

[flatlander_48]

I know, but it is hard. I run a construction company and have always been this real, well you know, manly type

I try no to show her how much it hurt me, but she knows, she knew for 21 years that it would kill me to have people know.

I do know I will be ok
It is just going to take a while

The positive thing is that now you know (or will know) who is on your side and who isn't. Without this significant Speed Bump, you may never have known.

[suzy]

What's done is done..... now you don't have to hide it anymore. Be proud of yourself, enjoy your new family and friends and lets have a brighter future!

[Vera Lynn]

I am the stbx, not a bitch, very suportive of the whole cd lifestyle.
Purchased many articles of clothing, loved through many years
of cd'ing. Some of your advise is spot-on but some of you do not
realize the depth of my betrayal, Yes, I got even but not untl 2
months of an affair that I wanted over, wanted my husband back
took him back 4 tmes . Stil love him but he will not give up the gf so **** him anyway. He should be ****ing me 4 times a week and NO ONE ELSE.
I am going to to try to prove it to him forever/. Whatever it takes!

[Annesah]

Forgive me, but what is a stbx? Cheers! Annie

[Angie G]

You are a good person that did not do wrong be proud of that
Angie G.

[julie w]

think on the bright side you can now be who you want to be, I am much happier since my divorce and can dress when I want

[GG Vanya]

I am the stbx, not a bitch, very suportive of the whole cd lifestyle.
Purchased many articles of clothing, loved through many years
of cd'ing. Some of your advise is spot-on but some of you do not
realize the depth of my betrayal, Yes, I got even but not untl 2
months of an affair that I wanted over, wanted my husband back
took him back 4 tmes . Stil love him but he will not give up the gf so **** him anyway. He should be ****ing me 4 times a week and NO ONE ELSE.
I am going to to try to prove it to him forever/. Whatever it takes!

Mmmmhmmm, and if you are the soon to be ex, how did you get onto Vera's account to post here?

It gets curiouser and curiouser...

[Vera Lynn]

Mmmmhmmm, and if you are the soon to be ex, how did you get onto Vera's account to post here?

It gets curiouser and curiouser...

That definatly was my STBX posting under my log-in ID

She was at my house last night and, well, we were drinkig and I showed her this place. She tried to set up her own id, but for some reason she is havig difficulty doing so

I apologize for any confusion

I am certain she will be back, and I know she will be civil here

Sad news is, I am certain that next time things get ugly, she will use what post here against me as well


Whiskey and divorce dont mix