Does crossdressing make you happy?

[sandra-leigh]

This past weekend, I caught part of the CBC (Canadian public radio) science show "Quirks and Quarks". The section was about "What makes us happy?".

The part that I came in at was discussing evolutionary biochemistry, and said approximately

Filling your wants does not make you happy. You want things just because you want them; there isn't a reason for most wants: they just are. Your urge to fill a want will build up and build up until it is finally filled, which will temporarily satisify you, but will not really make you happy. Instead, the satisfication will fade away and a new want will come to the forefront and you will get the urge to fill that. Our brains are essentially wired for unhappiness when it comes to filling desires.

This naturally reminded me of my own experiences, and those reported by a number of others here, that the urge to cross-dress builds up and becomes more urgent until it is indulged... after which it builds up again. I know from my experience that I habituated to wearing panties fairly quickly: I am not as comfortable now if I do not wear panties in my daily life, but it isn't something that I think about a great deal: wearing panties doesn't really make me happy, but I still need my dose of neopantinol for life to run smoothly.

The show went on to indicate that only a few things really make us happy over the long run. One of the biggest of those was community -- a feeling of belonging to a group.

Thinking afterward, I wondered: for how many of us is it not really the dressing up itself that makes us happy, but rather the socialization, whether information or at societies and clubs, or in electronic meeting places like this one? Does participating in this forum make you feel happier than the dressing itself does -- the dressing being something you need but not something that makes you happy?

[avawho]

I think for me it all hinges on meeting Ava's wants, needs, wishes, and desires as the guy in my life gets way too much attention sooo... for me cross dressing is very satisfying as it meets her needs nicely

Cheers
Ava

[julie w]

I went through so many years miserable years of not being able to dress
now I can just about any time I want and happy ,

[Melissa Jill]

I never really thought about it before but that seems to be bang on. I want to become dressed up, but when I am it doesnt quite feel right like theres something I am missing.

[Marla S]

I think I can say that I am happy right now with my CDing.

But t is not the crossdressing itself that makes me happy, it is the freedom I got and the freedom I eke out myself to dress as I think it is appropriate for me.
It makes me happy if I see progress in developing my style, it makes me happy if I see me in the mirror and like it, it makes me happy if have pushed the artificial borders a bit more, it makes me happy if I get a compliment, it makes me happy that I don't have to sneek around the fem-clothes-racks anymore, but just buy something if I like it etc. etc.

What makes me happy the most is that I more and more often just forgett that I am "crossdressing".

[CarmenG]

wants vs desires..... i feel the need, noooooo, i have the desire, ah yes, that's it the desire to dress. without the desire, i don't have the want to. and even if i did socialize with others of my type, after awhile either they are me would get bored with each other and form our own little group and then we become just like every other human being that walks the face of this earth.... i am HAPPY just to be alone and dressed. don't want to flash the world, meet someone elses expectations of what i should be or to what degree i should be crossdressing..... i travel through life's journey at my own pace and i enjoy the ride.....

[tekla west]

Let me just quote Ben Franklin who said: The Constitution only guarantees the American people the right to pursue happiness. You have to catch it yourself."

[SherriePall]

Dressing makes me content. If that is happiness, then crossdressing makes me happy.

[Julie Avery]

I too am content when I crossdress, and when I don't crossdress, I'm stifling myself.

Does Crossdressing make me happy? I think not. Does priggishness make prigs happy? Probably not. I reckon it's a tie.

[Sue Too]

I have to agree with Julie and Sherri. Never in my life have I felt so "at peace" as I do when I am in feminine mode. It just feels right. I think it stems from the fact that feminine is really my natural mode and my male mode and is really something designed by society to accommodate my birth defects.

Who really knows,

Susan

[KarenSusan]

I totally agree with Susan. It just feels right. And that makes me happy.

[vbcdgrl]

For me, the crossdressing and getting in touch with my "feminine side" is maybe a third of what makes me happy. The other two thirds is my guy side. Lots of activities over there that I get pleasure from. It's really hard to quantify, but it's fun looking at the world from both sides.

Vikki

[Melissa A.]

The second half of your message has a point, but not the first part, for me. Dressing does bring me pleasure, even solitary dressing. It just feels right. The part that stinks is when I have to wrap it up for the day. But what you said about socialization makes alot of sense. I am never happier as Melissa than when i am out having fun, and meeting people. And when I am on here, which is another form of socialization, I feel like my girl self, even when not dressed.

Hugs,

Melissa

[Andrea_cd]

For me dressing is a relaxation thing , feeling the bra straps and the gentle bounce of my breasts in the cups and the panties snug against my skin its not sexual , peaceful would be the word , so yes i am happy when i dress

[Layla]

I Am Only Happpy When I Am En Femme, When I Am In Drab, I Just Exist Not Really Feeling Like I Am Alive. When I Am Not En Femme, I Constantly Think Of How Great It Felt To Be In My Feminine Mode And How I Can't Wait To Get Back Into That Femme Mode Again. To Say That I Have A Femme Side Is Wrong. I Think That I Am Primarily Femme And That I Have A Masculine Side.... If Any Of That Makes Sense... I Love Being Layla....

[Karren H]

If I wasn't happy I wouldnt smile so much and wouldn't be doing this....

Love Karren

[Dee 1062]

Dressing makes me content. If that is happiness, then crossdressing makes me happy.

Yes what she said

[Lanore]

What makes me happy? The feeling I have knowing, my male and female are in wanderfull harmony. Which one would I prefer? Lanore of coarse. She rules.
Lanore

[dazzed]

I gave up trying to figure stuff like this out .Im wearing panties I feel better than when Im not.Dont know why dont care.

[Charleen]

Things will not make you happy. The want for better and more will also be there. Being content with what you have, who you are, and of course helping others, will bring about "happiness". However, happiness is fleeting, and we only are allowed glimpses as we go through life. I am content to have what I have, be who I am, and help when I can. I have always CDed because I had to, not because I wanted to. Today I CD because that is who I am, not what, but who. Being able to be today brings peace, not happiness. I am happy my son has a girlfriend. I am glad he moved out, as that brought peace into my life. Happy is fleeting, contentment stays if you work at it, and do not let your wants get in the way, as that brings stress. My wants always get me in trouble. When I get angry, it is because someone or something is behaving or doing as I want pure and simple. Sorry I got so heavy, but I feel strongly about this. Personally, I think this happiness is over rated give me comfortable in my own skin, and the ability to be content with what I have today and I'm fine. Love and xxxx, Lily

[ArleneRaquel]

Lilygirl is right, but I do feel so much better as Katrina, it is like night and day.

[Stephenie S]

Does CDing make my happy?

No.

What makes me happy, what strums this song in my heart, is the knowledge that I am finally free from the hiding and sneaking and fear of discovery that I carried every where and all the time for as long as I can remember.

That, dear friends, is what makes ME happy.

Lovies,
Stephenie

[Michelle8]

I can't wait to get home from work so I can get dressed up.
It Just feels so right.When I can't I am Disappointed.

[Kate Simmons]

Last time I looked, it made me happy, Hon. Ericka Kay

[Angie G]

Lets see my wife leting me dress makes me happy this community make me happy and dressing makes me happy so ya i'm happy
Angie G.