My counsler sees nothing wrong at all with my crossdressing.
I am happy she isn't one to say how wrong I am and to tell me there is something wrong with me.
I even figured I would wear my panties and pantyhose under my jeans. I wore a pair of brown leather shoes and I'm not sure if she looked but it was obvious I had on pantyhose.
I have to agree with your counsler, I don't see anything wrong with crossdressing either. If Crossdressing make you happy, do it. Life is to short to be unhappy.
We were seeing a family counselor for a while, the issue of my dressing came up. She asked If I was comfortible with my self, What we thought about telling the kids, And if I needed more time to dress. After those short few minutes. That was all that was said about it. We went on to other things. No big deal in her eyes.
my sister's reply when I told her how I prefer to dress
"Everyone has there thing, all that matters is that you are happy, love what you do and who you do it with"
Hello Jen. Yup. I went thru therapy as well. 19 months to be exact. Expensive but well worth it. After a few sessions I also wore panty hose under my slacks with brown deck shoes, (Sperry Top Siders) to be exact. I slipped my shoes off exposing my nyloned feet during several sessions. I asked my therapist what she thought about me wearing P hose and unisex shoes.... You see the root of my CDing revolves around wearing nylons with reinforced toes for the fetish aspect. Oh Sure, The stiletto heels are great and the lingeree, short skirts, make up ect really add to the thrill of my CDing. Anyway, She wasnt shocked or amazed but somewhat inquisitve about the stocking foot thing. I explained that I love seeing womens nyloned feet and I want to feel what they feel. Her reply suggested that most of her CDing clients were more into lingeree and if one truly has a sexual fetish it will never go away. This was several years ago and its my conviction that she's right!!!
Great for you to have such a counselor.
I just have a funny game running with mine. I am there because of something non CD-related and he probably is not a TG specialist.
I often go there with some makup, nailpolish and a bit feminie styled clothes.
At least last time it has been pretty obvious to him that I wore hose (sneakers, no socks) and he stared several times.
Because I have no problems with my CDing right now and my issues are not CD related, I see no need to start the conversion about it myself.
Of course he had asked something about my sex life, and if I am looking for a new girlfried, and stuff like this. So far, I honestly could answer: Nope, no problems there.
So, I am courious if and when he comes up with crossdressing or fetishism or if he just doesn't care or doesn't dare, respectively
It's very intersting to change the perspective.
Hmmm. Reminds me of mining consultants. You give them money and information and they tell you what you want to hear!! The customer is always right! Lol
But if your happy, I'm happy for you!!
Love Karren
I, myself, wouldn't expect any other response (though I know some uninformed counsellers might say different).
In-and-of-itself, there is nothing wrong with crossdressing. But you always need to be aware of how your dressing might affect the important people in your life. You could create problems with them, or there may be fetish issues, involved.
It was nice to hear of her statement.
Hugs.
Congrats
SOunds like you have a great counselor with basic understanding of gender issues. Many a Shrink/Psychologist/Counselor out there who have no clue how to handle gender issues. I advise all who are making that inward journey of yourslf to ASK questions ahead of time of your counselor to make sure 1) they DO have some training in gender issues beyond Psych 101 and 2) that you are COMFORTABLE with that person and discussing these most inner thoughts/needs.
It seems to me, purely from my experience, that most of the psychological difficulties that CD's go through have nothing to do with the dressing - it's generally fear of meeting societies expectations, either in general or via an unaccomodating SO/family. I saw a stat recently (I may have even posted it here) that said that one of the principal reasons that homosexuality was considered to be a mental illness in the past was due to the high incidence of suicide amongst homosexuals; however, this was at a time when homosexuality was extremely taboo, and suicide rates have dropped significantly since it has become more socially acceptable.
From a personal perspective, every negative that I've encountered through CDing has arisen from the aforementioned circumstances - when I've felt completely comfortable with myself and my SO regarding the subject, I've had no anxiety or negative feelings associated with it. Belonging is something that is essential for psychological well-being, so it's understandable that if we feel that we don't belong, we are more likely to suffer from depression, guilt etc.
My $0.02, YMMV, of course.
I've been with my therapist for nearly 8 years. She told me that there was nothing wrong with either my crossdressing or my bondage fetish. In fact she has been urging me to be more active (going to Tri-Ess meetings, seeking out a safe bondage club or group to hang with) as a way of dealing with my depression. She even thought my joining this forum was a great move. I wholeheartedly agree.
-Audrey
Several years ago, I had a therapist who encouraged me to get more comfortable with my femme self. Eventually, I started wearing hose under my jeans and sandals and pumps to my therapy sessions. My therapist was totally cool about it--she even commented that she liked one pair of my pumps! That was a great experience and I wouldn't trade it for the world.
"poor is the man whose pleasures depend on the permission of another." Madonna "Justify My Love"
I am there also but she already knew about it from when me and my seperated wife were in there in Dec.Originally Posted by Marla S
(not seperated for CDing reasons)
[QUOTE=jeniinnylons;541546]My counsler sees nothing wrong at all with my crossdressing.
Lucky for you hon, the one I saw a year and a half ago said I metally ill, and that was all my wife had to hear. I told her he was the one that was carzy, but she still agreed with him.
Hugs Jodi Lynn
You may still be crazy, but your crossdressing is OK. Good advice from your counselor.
It takes a real man to wear a dress.
If it is a deal for you, maybe it should not be a small deal for her?
peace
Sejd
Counslers are basically just sounding boards, Hon. If you are okay with it, she is . Her concern is how you are dealing with things and by profession, they are not allowed to reveal their personal feelings one way or the other. Their concern is for their clients well being. They look for depression, etc. If there is none and you are okay with who YOU are then fine. I was wondering if you went to her en femme? Early on, I went as my femme self just to show her it was legitimate. I even went as a pregnant mother once. She just asked how I felt about that. I told her the idea of it felt great. She had no problem with that. We have had a good Doctor/client relationship for many years. Take care, Ericka Kay
Jenni,
You have a good counsellor by the sounds of it. Here is what mine said when I disclosed during our first meeting. "You likely have no problem being transgendered, I suspect your problems are dealing with other people and letting that affect your own self esteem." BINGO! Give that lady the prize. That was only one of her observations, there were others but it put this whole TG thing in perspective.
Being transgendered is not an illness. The DSM IV definition of Gender Identity Disorder puts anyone struggling as having an illness which is simply not true. (This does have its value for the transitioning TS though) We struggle to relate to the world around us from the point of view of being transgendered in whatever degree whether as a TV or a transitioning TS. That is where the difficulties lay.
Of course then there is the catch all of Gender Dysphoria which is a politically correct way of saying that the depression and anxiety are due to being transgendered. At least this recognizes that the problems lay outside of gender but affect the TG person. Make sense? I hope so.
Best of luck. This counsellor is a keeper!!
Kimberley
ps. Wait until you are really comfortable and can go to a session dressed, if not in whole at least in part. You will soar hon.
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
www.transgenderlondon.com
Venus and Mars are not aligned; Good thing.
Where are all the rumballs?
I may not soar with eagles, but then weasels dont get sucked into jet engines...
That's great! also thanks for posting ,any positive reinforcement us girls get is fantastic, I also started wearing panties and hose to work when I can.
Luv, Darley Dee
I have had two counselors in the last several years, and both of them were fine with CDing. The first one worked with me to try and get me to a point where I did not dress. (Did not last, surprise, surprise. The one I have now has told me there is nothing wrong with me, it is just who I am. (That is how I look at it.) After my wife got that message, I got acceptance. Not support, but acceptance. And that was a major step for her and it really took some guilt off me for hiding it. Now if she finds something I forgot to clean up, there is no long drawn out issues.
And while I can not go too far a work, I routinely wear womens tennis shoes and socks to work. No one notices and no one cares. But I love it!
Yea for your counselor and all of them that recognize it is just how we are wired. And that we are really just fine!
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