I read a CD at the store

[Lisa X]

I was getting some oil and supplies for my car toady at the auto parts store (in my male mode) and saw a CD walk in. She was about 6' 2" wearing 4" heels, white stockings, very short shorts, and blond hair (I will call her Blondie). Blondie was read immediately by everyone at the store. Her shoes were very noisy and you can hear her walk around the store and people were watching her as she went around.
My immediate emotional reaction was embarassement. I guess I was embarassed by the sight of a man trying to look like a trashy woman and doing a very poor job at it. Also I think I was embarassed by the fact that I am also a CD, and I have been read in public numerous times, and knows what that feels like.
The people at the store looked at Blondie when they had a chance but tried not to stare. Blondie got in line behind me at the cashier and the cashier looked up at her 2 or 3 times. I think most people were curious and really didn't know what to make of her.
Blondie handled the situation very well. She was calm, and went about her business of buying some oil and paying for it. I think her attitude and the way she handled herself made the encounter less awkard.
I thought about talking to her outside but instead I left. I don't know why I did not try to make contact. Maybe I did not know how she would react, or I did not want to be seen talking with a CD at the neighborhood auto store. Now I regret not talking with her.
If Blondie toned down her outfit, she would have a much better chance of passing or fitting in. Jeans, pants, or mid length skirt would have been more appropriate. Also shoes with low heel such as sandles, flats, boots would work. Even if she did not pass all the time, she would look more classy rather than look like a man trying to be a trashy woman. Then again, if she wanted to get attention, then she wore the right outfit.

I am curious what the forum readers think about this encounter and my reactions.

[Julie]

Lisa, my thoughts are that 'Blondie' should be congratulated for having the bottle to go out en femme whatever you or others thought about her attire, it takes some courage to do this as many here will testify.

I myself would've spoken to her and told her how brave I thought she was.

JJ

[flicka]

I think your reactions entirely normal, and they would be mine also. As you say, if she was seeking to draw everyone's attention then she went about it the right way. However, if she was intending to pass as female then it is ludicrous. I too would give a wide berth!

[Trinity_cat]

Blondie's dress sense was to attract attention. If a gg done the same thing, she to would have drawn more than a second glance.

[kimmjacoby]

getting "read" is a fact of life for a transgendered person, unless we are lucky enough to have the courage to be "out" in our teens or early 20's. what is important is how we deal with being "read" emotionally. i have great respect for the tg that went into the parts store. she knows that she dosen't "pass", but doesn't give a rats ass.

hugs,
kimm

[kimmjacoby]

i've been in that situation more than once when out in drab. i have approached the person, shown her my lefemme id, told her that she is not alone and exchanged phone numbers.

hugs,
kimm

[Tamara Croft]

When ~Tammy~ and I go out, this is what she wears.... I wear something very similar and we just say we have been to a fancy dress party



Tamara x

[Amelie]

Nice pic Tamara. This outfit is very similar to what I wear. I would have the skirt a little longer. That neckline though is fabulous, this type of neckline is what I wear. Excellent pic.
Amelie

[DonnaT]

Well Lisa, if you did want to strike up a conversation it would be best to start with a "Hello, nice outfit, can I ask you something?" And then go from there.

I saw one of our sisters heading into the mall (Tyson's Corner, VA) as I was pulling into the parking garage. She was nicely dressed, and had on pants. Nice big smile!

The thing that drew me to notice was the lipstick. Bright red. It draws the eyes to the face and then you take in the face and sometimes see the male features one tries so hard to hide. I wonder why so many CDs like bright red lippy?

I kept an eye out for her in the mall, as I wanted to first complement her, especially on being brave enough to go dressed; and then ask about the lippy, but didn't see her again.

[Ashleigh]

I agree about praising the "Blondies" who are brave enough to go out. My question is did she do more harm by going out dressed that way where we are so scrutinized by so many and some are even beaten. I'm not asking this as a provocative question, but more inquisitively.

[Wendy me]

what is passing ???? i know what we all mean . but mabey blonde was passing while not fooling anyone......she was out and abought...........for those who never left the safty of the closet ............outside in public ........the hardest thing .......to be seen
the crouage .......mebey she was "passing"

[Wendy me]

sometimes just say hi she knows or tell her your fem name

[AnnaMaria]

I have to congratulate her for her bravery. There are a lot of us who would not even consider going out in public just because we are afraid of being read and what might happen. But I really feel that if more of us did start to go out more often then people in general might be more likely to accept the fact that we are here to stay and be more accepting. Look at San Fransisco. Everyone in the world probably knows about the large homosexual population that lives there. It is famous for that lifestyle, but I am sure that there was a time noot to long ago when that was no more accepted there than it is anywhere else in the world. But at some point there were enough people in that lifestyle that began to be open about it and deal with the negativity that it eventually became the norm and now people don't even see the difference anymore.

Now I am sure that there are still enough backward ass country bumpkins that still live there to make trouble from time to time but not as a general rule. Of course it makes me realize that she must have had dangly parts big enough to come in a dump truck to be able to do what she did but non the less I applaud her for her open outlook on life and hope that she doesn't run into any of the afor mentioned bumpkins while she is out.

By the same token I am not sure that I would have reacted any different than Lisa did considering the town that I live in. Though I know that I would have regretted my reaction by the time that I got home. Just knowing that I had a chance to say something and maybe start a new friendship and I didn't would have been a real downer for me. But that is just me.

huggs
anna

[Donna Louise]

About a year ago, I made a cd in a store as well. It was last winter, she was buying a jacket as she did not have one on. She never said a word, I guess she had the samething I do. I might get by but if I open my mouth it is all over with. I wanted to talk to her to badly but the people in the store know me. I had to let it be. From the sounds of it yours did not care if she was made or not. You have commend her spirit.

Donna Louise

[Abraxas]

Yes-- some people do not feel any need to 'pass'.
I don't think it's ultimately necessary-- if you feel comfortable dressed, then who cares whether you pass or not? It's about feeling good about yourself, not others feeling good about you.
Personally, I think it's great when guys have the guts to go out in drag even (or especially) if they don't pass.
When I went to club Oddysey in NC (a known alternative club), I saw two TVs, one who passed very well (the only thing that gave him away was the height and voice) and one that didn't bother with really trying to pass.
They both were very pretty and the one that didn't try to pass really could have if he'd tried. But I thought he was really cool for that.
He was wearing white platform flip flops, womens' jeans, a pink button- down shirt, and some jewellery. He looked beautiful even though he was very obviously a bloke.
I understand the need/ desire to pass-- I experience it myself. But if I were a real bloke I would feel fine about not passing. It takes a lot more balls to do it that way, this is true. It's much harder. But I respect the guy who goes out in makeup and a dress (or whatever female attire he choses) and doesn't worry about what other people think, at least as much as the guy who passes well without anyone giving him a second glance.

Just my thoughts.

[Wendy me]

mabey that if you are shure enough abought your slefe to be out and abought you have passed .