Two Groups of Dressers?

[Jenny]

After reading through several of the threads, it seems to me we have at least two different kinds of dressers on this forum. The first kind are those dressers who dress for the sexual thrill of wearing women's clothes and that is why they dress. The second kind are those who feel more like they are women and want to dress in women's clothes because that is the kind of clothes they should be wearing. For this group there is less of a sexual thrill to dressing. Maybe the first group are more transvestites and the second group are more transgendered.

I am not saying someone has to fit neatly into one group or the other or that one group is "better" than the other. I myself have gotten a sexual thrill out of dressing but my sexual excitement over getting dressed up usually disappears pretty quickly. I probably fit more in to the second group. I like to wear women's clothes because I think I look cute and sexy when I am dressed up but I don't dress up so much to be sexy to myself. I think about how other guys would look at me.

Does this seem like an accurate description? Are there other groups that I am overlooking? How do people feel they fit into these groups?

[jenny_k78]

I don't see myself in either group. I just see myself as being a crossdresser amongst friends through this site. I've gone either way almost 50/50 into the groups you mentioned.

[Vivian Best]

Hi Jenny,

There are probably more groups but right now I couldn't name any. I do know that there are sub groups within your two groups. In the crossdressing group there are probably hundreds ranging from the girl that just likes one item and cares less about the rest to the girl that goes all the way. I'm sure someone would put each in a separate sub group. Personally I'm part of the group that goes all the way and it's sexual for me.

When I was a teenager I wondered if I was transgendered! At the time I was a teenager the word transgendered wasn't a word in my vocabulary, I'm 64. I was very confused as to my gender then, but not now.

You do ask a good question though! Are there other categories that your two?

Vivian

[PaulaJeanette]

I dress because I like the feeling that wearing women's clothes gives me. I think many of us know the electric feeling this brings. Equally, I like admiring my dressed self in the mirror. From the neck down, wearing a bra that shapes my breasts, a cinched-in waist, slightly flared hips, a smooth (sans bulge) pantied pubic region, seeing my legs encased in nylons--either pantyhose or stockings, and standing tall in high heels, I look and feel like a woman AND that's what I like. Basically, I find myself really admiring beautiful women all the time. If they happen to be attractive and fortunate enough to possess a sexy body to boot, I just love it!

I too can sit and enjoy being dressed and, when opportunities present themselves, I will do household chores...but only inside. I have yet to venture outside...no wig nor make-up to support being passable/presentable. I think, if given an opportunity to live as a woman, I'd give it a shot.

Now, for me, crossdressing in lingerie also brings along a sexual THRILL. I don't know if it is the "getting away with something" that's hidden somewhere in my psyche. If I could wear woman's underwear without the risk of exposure, I'd do it because the thrill of the tabu would be right there with enjoying the feel of these garments next to my skin.

I wish I could spend more time en femm.

Paula J.

[Julie]

When I was younger (teens to early 20's) there was a sexual thrill, in fact I'd say that was the only feeling I dervied from it at the time. As time went on and I got better at dressing more completely I found much greater satisfaction from looking like a woman. It became less and less sexual over time as I got closer and closer to achieving the look I was trying for.

Today the feeling that I get most is one of inner peace. That feeling has various levels that are closely related to how feminine I looked while dressed. The closer I come to being able to pass the stronger and longer lasting that feeling is. I'm 53 now and I suppose it's possible that deep inside my subconscious there's a little voice that's saying, "C'mon! You have been restraining yourself all these years. It's time for the world to get to know Julie!" You know, the clock's ticking and I'd hate the idea of going to my deathbed with one of my strongest desire never having been fulfilled.

Speaking of that, there are several weekend to week-long getaways for CDers. I have been seriously looking into making one of them very soon. I know Fantasia Fair in Provincetown, MA is a week long event (October I think) and supposed to be the mother of them all. And near me there's the Be-All convention that goes June 8-13. I'd go just for the nightlife. I've never been very good at sitting for a seminar. I just can't sit still that long! Maybe I'll see some of you there!

[Beverly591]

I'm not a big fan of pigeon-holing someone into a group or class...especially in something like crossdressing, where I think we are constantly changing our preferences...evolving so to speak. For myself, I have changed yet again since coming to this forum and have a girl's name for the first time ever (see my post entitled "What's in a name?") But if someone in a uniform was putting us into groups, I would be put in the first one, simply because I have a big red moustache that I'm not willing to part with, making it impossible for me to ever pass myself off as a woman when dressed. But that doesn't take into account that I do like getting dressed just for the pleasure of it...not just the sexual titillation that I sometimes derive from it. I enjoy the feeling of the clothes, the prettiness of them, the sexy laces and colours, the smell of being in a bubble bath and shaving myself, all the feminine aspects of crossdressing. Even my wife treats me like a woman when i am dressed and she has grown into a new role as the "man on top" during the times I am dressed when making love. So...finding neat little categories for all of us would be extremely difficult...that we are all crossdressers and all friends is good enough for me.

[Dana_cd]

I agree with Jenny k78.
I get excited just by dressing, but I also dress cuz I love how I feel when dressed,......does that make siense?

[Robyn_P]

Why does everything need to have a label ?]

I dress for both reasons and enjoy both aspects very much. The last thing I need right now is to be labeled something else.


Robyn....

[CindyT]

I agree with Jenny I love the feel of dressing. I do however like to get away from home once in a while and dress for as long as I can.

I like to STAY dressed and go thru several outfits every day!

IF I like the way I look and I think I'm passable (about 1 in 10 times) I may try some public exposure where I can make a quick get away!

Figure this out, At TIMES, I can agree with every post in this page!

I have different feelings at different times - the farther from home the more girlish!

It is always a sexual thrill!

Does this make any sense?

Cindy

[Jenny]

I didn't mean to pigeonhole or label anyone by starting this thread. I was just making an observation in connection with trying to understand why I have this hobby or obsession or ? One of the benefits of forums like this for me is to try to understand myself better through other people's experiences and thoughts.

I am sorry if I did something that makes people uncomfortable.

[JustmeBear]

My "girlfriend" (m2f)considers herself transgender....she indeed lives her life as a woman..she does not do it as a fetish or sexual thrill..she does it because she feels that she should have been a woman...she feels more comfortable as a woman...!?!

I have been trying to get her to come here to the sight because I think it would help her talk to more people that have similar life styles...I cross dress f2m...however I am a closet cd...I mostly do it at home and if or when I do go out.....it is to a night club where this is accepted....

I do have a question...and I am serious here

You mention the fact that some people do it as a sexual thrill...Well I really was looking for someone to be with and that had the life style my gf leads...for many many many of reasons...I will admit...When my gf is completely in fem...or even just a little...it completely turns me on...I feel very sexual towards her Is that a bad thing?. I am emotionally...physically and sexually attracted to "Christie"..as well as if she is not in fem which is hardly.( now that she is comfortable around me).I mean I also love the fact that she is sensative, open and communative..and so forth..those are all wonderful qualities...
So again..is that a bad thing?
All in all........................................
I just think that her and I are soul mates....We have alot of the same interests and goals...we get along great ...I love her company...I love her closeness...everything about her I love!!!!!! She is the most incredible woman in the world.( no pun intended you all are great as well).....and at first she wasn't sure how I felt about her lifestyle...and I do not think she has doubts now..but I really want to prove to her that I am here for the "long" haul.....I guess just keep being supportive...but is that enough?????

[Abraxas]

Well then. I don't think there are categories so much as the whole sexuality thing is probably on a spectrum. There are many combinations of things you could be. Why do we all have to fit into a category?
It seems to me that most mtf's feel at least a bit of sexual gratification-- to them, it is masturbatory much of the time. Even somewhat narcissistic (please don't think I mean that negatively-- I don't).
For me, it's more that I feel like I should have been born a man. I am okay with being a girl, but I feel like a gay boy trapped in this body. I own no female clothes (okay, a few from when I went to dances in high school) and wear only mens clothes, all the time. I don't try to pass as male... But if I look in the mirror, it's not so much masturbatory. Well... Maybe. I am excited at the idea of being male, but am not wildly turned on or anything. I think it's a slightly different mindset.
Another query, though. I've never really been attracted to any CDs or TVs before; I consider myself as hetero as they come (never once felt any feelings toward a woman in my life) yet there is one bloke, Eddie Izzard, who turns me on as much femme as he does blokey. It could be just because I really love him for who he is, but it does confuse me a bit because I'm not attracted to females. Anyone have any thoughts on this?

[PaulaJeanette]

Jenny:

No need for apologies...this is an excellent thread! As you have stated, one of the benefits of this website in the non-judgemental interactions. I, for one, have found this forum very helpful and insightful because of threads like yours. I had the exact same thoughts. So thank you for starting.

Mel:

If it meant anything, I would crown you and your girlfriend the perfect couple! You described it correctly...soul mates. And, because your true genders are opposite to the roles you desire, you both have an added perspective of truly understanding your partner's views--does this sentence make sense? Anyhow, all I can say is incredible!!! My science inquisitiveness is coming out...I would like to follow how you do in the years ahead.

Love,

Paula J

[salem]

Hi everyone,

When I think why I crossdress, I think Abraxis has touched on the primary reason for me. I came to cross dressing late in my 20's and never had a prior interest.

I love the slinky feeling of satin and the exhilarating feeling of wearing high heels, stockings and suspenders. I am really attracted to the exciting and erotic clothing that seems only available to women. I really like to look at myself in this sort of gear and do fantasise that I'm one of those beautiful females that you see in mens magazines.

I have only twice ventured out dressed up, and while it was a buzz, it was too nerve racking.

Being a closet cd is also somewhat of a hobby (fixation?) as you research and track down leads on all topics relating to cd, venture into shops to buy sexy gear, talk in chat rooms late at night etc.

salem

[Jenny Beth]

This thread just keeps getting better all the time. We are all here searching for answers. It is true that most M2F's get a kick of some kind or another in lingerie or being totally dressed, but something drew us here in the first place. Throw away the clothes and we are all transgendered to some degree or another. I hate labels too but this one seems to fit.
Trying to make a relationship work when most of us don't understand ourselves is a huge challenge with much of the difficulty falling on the shoulders of our SO's. I think JustmeBear's relationship with Christie is wonderful in it's simplicity.....two people who need no labels!

Jenny Beth

[kylie]

I certainly agree with Jenny's observation that there are two main viewpoints expressed on this site.

For me the experience is purely sexual. I love the feel and sight of lacy, sexy underwear. At times just seeing them in my drawer will be enough to make me aroused. Pulling up stockings is an amazing feeling and g-strings look just divine. (a nice girlie word that i wouldn't normally use!)

But for me, there it ends. I don't imagine that I look like a woman, have no desire to do so, or to be one. For others though, I can see that the whole CDing issue is a deeply emotive one that has a profound effect on their lives.

As for putting people in sections, it is inevitable. As human beings within society we do it all the time and I believe it is a natural in-built safety mechanism. In relation to this site, it also serves as a way of ensuring that we carefully edit our responses so as not to cause offence.

[Robyn_P]

Jenny,

No offense taken... And hope my 2 cents didn't offend you or anyone else. I do like the thread and appreciate veryone elses opinions, but I just can't stand the fact that we always seem to go back to getting labeled in every aspect of our lives. We should be allowed to be who we want to be (ourselves) and do what we want to do without anyone telling us otherwise and worrying about what other will think of us and label us as. Thanks to all for your understanding....

[roberta1945]

HI JENNY THERE MAYBE TWO GROUPS OF CROSSDRESSERS BUT SOME MALES
MAY FIT INTO BOTH AT DIFFERENT TIMES OFTHERE LIVES.IN MY CASE I WAS BORN IN THE MID 40'S IT WAS PROPER FOR CHILDREN TOBE DRESSED
IN DRESSDS UNTILL 4 OR 5 YEARS OF AGE.THAT SAID MY FIRST FULL CROSSDRESSING EXPERIENCE WAS WITH MW AT AGE 18 AND FOR SERVAL
YEARS IT WAS A SEXUAL EXPERIENCE NOW 40 YEARS LATTER I STILL ENJOY
CROSSDRESSING AND I DO IT FOR PLEASURE AND COMFORET NOT SEXUAL
RELEASE.SO I BELEAVE WE CAN FIT INTO BOTH AT DIFFERENT TIMES OF OUR
LIVES.
LOVE ROBERTA1945

[Vivian Best]

Several times in this thread ladies have voiced dislike of labels. Like it or not we are labeled directly or indirectly through out lives. When we are born we are labeled a baby, when we are in school we are school kids, we become an employee, then husband, retired and then at the end of our life, dead.

To me, there are labels of some sort everywhere we turn. So if we are labeled here, to me no big deal. Just my opinion

Vivian

[Robyn_P]

Several times in this thread ladies have voiced dislike of labels. Like it or not we are labeled directly or indirectly through out lives. When we are born we are labeled a baby, when we are in school we are school kids, we become an employee, then husband, retired and then at the end of our life, dead.

To me, there are labels of some sort everywhere we turn. So if we are labeled here, to me no big deal. Just my opinion

Vivian

Vivian,
As stated in my previous postings, everything and everyone is constanly labeled. Wouldn't it be nice to go somewhere where there weren't any labels. I now it's hard, but it would be nice....

Robyn

[Vivian Best]

Hi Robyn,

Your right! A label free environment would be nice. I suggest we make this site a label free zone. No labels allowed.

Vivian

[Clover]

Everyone is different and I'm inclined to believe there's a continuous spectrum as opposed to black and white.
That said, in a binary world, I'm definitely in the 'sexual thrill' group.

[Ivana]

After reading through several of the threads, it seems to me we have at least two different kinds of dressers on this forum. The first kind are those dressers who dress for the sexual thrill of wearing women's clothes and that is why they dress. The second kind are those who feel more like they are women and want to dress in women's clothes because that is the kind of clothes they should be wearing. For this group there is less of a sexual thrill to dressing. Maybe the first group are more transvestites and the second group are more transgendered.

I am not saying someone has to fit neatly into one group or the other or that one group is "better" than the other. I myself have gotten a sexual thrill out of dressing but my sexual excitement over getting dressed up usually disappears pretty quickly. I probably fit more in to the second group. I like to wear women's clothes because I think I look cute and sexy when I am dressed up but I don't dress up so much to be sexy to myself. I think about how other guys would look at me.

Does this seem like an accurate description? Are there other groups that I am overlooking? How do people feel they fit into these groups?

Why do I enjoy dressing-up as a woman and why do I like putting on sexy lingerie in addition to flashy skirts and dresses to achieve it? Undeniably for both reasons that Jenny points out. Unquestionably I have always derived a sexual thrill from it from the start. As soon as I begin putting on that lacy bra and panty as well as those thigh-highs hooking them into garters, something electrifies me. It always has since I started crossdressing. I used to watch my mother putting on her hosiery and bra and I thought that was toxic. I am still stimulated sexually today as I was then. Women are too when they put on clothing that is supposed to arouse.
Once my maleness has been satiated, I become a real female. I don't take the clothes off, but do womanly things around the house. When I read a book on the sofa, I cross my nylon covered legs and think of myself as a female.

Ivana

[Man in tights]

http://illinoismatmen.com/images/emoticons/Julie_sig.gif[/img]

Hi all,
these getaways sound great, and just what I need. Does anybody know any that are scheduled for mid to late December 2004?

Thanks,
MiT

[violetlinda]

I love labels! They help You to understand better not only others but Yourself.
I don't know who I am.
If someone tries to help me understand myself, and does that trying to put labels, that's ok.
If You don't like labels, well, simply take them off!

I have another label, a practical one, to put on some of us.
I think there are two different groups among us:
those who live alone and can do whatever they want: dress, undress, get out dressed, shave their breast and legs, go to a transgender bar, etc. :
To this group belong also those who have a partner who perfectly knows.
well, label one?

And those (label 2?)who live with a wife, maybe kids, and CAN'T do most of these things whenever they want.
They have to live all the problems of "label 1" and moreover risk a lot (end of marriage?) in being seen by someone they love and who doesn't know.
What's the use of such labeling ? Maybe none.
To me, it helped to find out not all of us have the same problems to cope with.
And of course a start for a discussion about that.

Well, I have alot of new labels ready for us!

The labeler's friend