unpredictable reaction

[princessmichelle]

Hi,

I've been struck by the unpredictability of who will be supportive, and wonder if anyone else has had similar (or different!) experiences.

For example, a coworker who is one of the sweetest people on the planet, and I would have predicted that she would be tolerant. WRONG! I once asked how her vacation was, and she told me of a nice time, but added that "...there was a guy dressed as a woman, which is obviously disgusting..."

Have you ever been surprised by who is or is not supportive?

princessmichelle

[Melinda]

You know, I (like most of us?) was raised to think homosexuals were nasty and disgusting, pretty much the worst thing you could possibly be, worse than criminals or Pat Robertson. Then I met some... Guess what? People just like me. Duh, should have been obvious but thats a pretty common reaction, isn't it? She might just be parroting what she thinks she's supposed to say or what she thinks you want to hear, afraid you might not like her if she shows sympathy. Not that I think you should show up in a dress and ask her of course.

[angelfire]

Yea, I have had a similar reaction. I have a GG friend from work who is a very strong supporter, and has protested for the gay rights movement. Thus, I think she is rather tolerant of other people's sexuality.

I got talking to her one day, and she mentioned how a few of her friends thought she was gay, cause she would always get dragged to a gay bar, but she assured me she was straight. So I started joking a bit saying "Are you sure?" or "Maybe you're Bi?" and then asked "What about a crossdresser?" And her reactions were "Yes I'm sure, No I'm not bi...and ew, no."

[ArleneRaquel]

Methinks that she protests too much ! from Katrina

[Lisa Golightly]

I tend to approach with the Agent Mulder 'Trust no-one' ethos... That way I'm often pleasantly surprised rather than disappointed.

[Silkblouse]

.. .. so , last week I almost "came out" to my lesbian cousin

. . . this week , another ALMOST with a gay friend of many years


sheeesh , oh well , ... I'm happy and not OnEdge about it

[except of course , what the SO Drill Sargent will do , but even that is outta my hands]

[Joy Carter]

I tend to approach with the Agent Mulder 'Trust no-one' ethos... That way I'm often pleasantly surprised rather than disappointed.

Gotta agree here with Lisa.

[Satrana]

Remember most people adopt society's prejudices as their own until they are forced to confront the issue with a loved one/friend. Only then will you find out if they are truly prejudiced or open minded about it. Until then it would be safe to assume that just about everybody will think CDs are perverts because this is society's viewpoint.

[Nigella]

Tolerance starts in the home, and is fed there until you get out into the big wide world and learn.

I was a racist, due to my upbringing, all gays should have been shot, and druggies, well lets not go there.

Yes my parents were bigots, and I learnt it from them.

I left home and boy was my eyes opened.

Now I have a simple philosophy, "live and let live". You can be pleasantly surprised by peoples attitudes, but if yours is one of intolerance, then dont be surprised of others.

Search yourself first!

[Angie G]

No Some people suck
angie

[bgirl]

The person I think should have been the most accepting and supporting was the most difficult person as far as my acceptance and coming out. I am referring to myself.

[Karren H]

Unpredictable responses are the only thing that is predictible......It's a crap shoot and your always surprised...I would have sworn that my wife would have divorced me in a heart beat.....wrong.....she's not happy about my hobby but we are still man and wife and life goes on as before...

Love Karren

[Melissa A.]

Totally unpredictable. Demeanor, level of compassion, friendliness, political affiliation, they all are completely useless barometers.

Wellllllll...maybe a tad few less conservatives than liberals are tolerant of transgenderism, in general. But any random individual? ya just never know.

Hugs,

Melissa

[Calliope]

'Not fair' dep't: Because minorities are minorities, sometimes the only **** anyone ever meets is just one individual.

Let's say I finally met my first **** and was readjusting my earlier, media-fed preconceptions when I discover **** is also ... a litterer, a commie, an Ozzy Osbourne fan, whatever ... then this new prejudice wants to go wholesale into that first preconception.

Like it or not, we are the vanguard. Our personal probity in human interactions will influence how CDers meet the world later on.

[rpservices1]

about three months ago I told a dear friend of mine for over 40 years now she won't talk to me her lost Brenda

[Jodi Lynn]

Unpredictable responses are the only thing that is predictible......It's a crap shoot and your always surprised...I would have sworn that my wife would have divorced me in a heart beat.....wrong.....she's not happy about my hobby but we are still man and wife and life goes on as before...

Love Karren

I agree whit Karen on this one. I felt my wife would respond the same as Karen did, and we too are still together too. As far as if I were to come out to anyone at work I think they would react the same way they did to another "girl" that use to work with us. When others found out about her they would pick on her, put her down and all those things. Hell he even went to the frist gulf war and they would say things like wonder if he is wearing his bra and panties under his uniform. So I don't think I would want to come out at work.

[Caitlintgsd]

I had a friend who I've known for about 6 years, an exworker from a previous job. About 6 weeks ago we were out (I was drab) and enjoying a few beers. Sometime in the course of the evening I made a reference to knowing several people who dressed. Haven't heard a peep out of him since.

[Lilith Moon]

Unpredictable responses are the only thing that is predictible......It's a crap shoot and your always surprised...I would have sworn that my wife would have divorced me in a heart beat.....wrong.....she's not happy about my hobby but we are still man and wife and life goes on as before...

Love Karren

It was just the opposite for me. I had reason to think that my wife would be surprised but eventually would be happy to incorporate it into other, er, "common interests" that we both have.

It didn't happen, her reaction was much more negative than I expected. We are still together and we get on OK much of the time but things just aren't the same between us any more

[brittanny]

I have been suprised a few times some have no bones about it who you would swear would never even speak your name again and others who you swore would be cool about it go right over the edge

[midwest GG]

Remember most people adopt society's prejudices as their own until they are forced to confront the issue with a loved one/friend. Only then will you find out if they are truly prejudiced or open minded about it. Until then it would be safe to assume that just about everybody will think CDs are perverts because this is society's viewpoint.

PERFECTLY SAID!!

[ColleenCD]

Co-workers rarely present their full support for CDing due to societal opinions. If the desire to be Outed at work outweighs the need for a safe employment environment, then enjoy. We are all tempted to have some level of support from our associates at work, but ramifications such as strained relationships, or backlash from employers make the risk too great.

This sight is essential for for me to have those I KNOW understand and accept me as I am. Much safer than the workplace.

Colleen

[Amy Hepker]

I think sometimes people react the way they think they want others to react. It really does turn a lot of GGs off, and they just can't undersdtand why we would do such a thing. They may have had a bad time growing up themselves as Females or had some bad times in their later life as Females. Some don't want to be thought of as Gay accepting a guy as a female.

[Penny]

Gender brainwashing effects everyone differently. It is amazing though, how many people don't realize their not thinking for themselves!



Penny

[Kate Simmons]

I usually try to use humor to try and defuse such a situation. Of course the person who is intolerant has to have a sense of humor. If not, I figure I'm just wasting my breath and go on my merry way. Usually people who are intolerant are projecting their own fears or problems into someone else and using them as a convenient "victim", especially if the "offender" isn't present to defend himself. Usually if such a peson is backed into a "corner" they have no valid defense for themself really and it becomes evident what kind of person they are. Not worth my time really. Ericka Kay

[Kitty Sue]

Great topic. I have several people in my life who know I am a TV(no, not a television) and they are all okay with it. One of my mates I wonder about though. When I leave the army he wants us to get a place together. I am not to sure about that as I want a place where I can just be me without having to cover up. I tried telling him I was bi a few years back and he laughed and would not believe me. I did not press the issue. I do not think he would be happy if I told him I was a CDer, still at least if I told him he would probably not want to get a place with me. LOve to all, KS.