I took some heat last night for expressing what might be perceived as a militant attitude about family (SOs in particular). Someone called me awhich, despite my militancy, does hurt my feelings. So I thought I would share some personal background in order to contextualize why I might be a
My first wife and I were both artists. Pretty intense artists. I played punk rock, she published a local scene zine. Her endeavor was pretty popular in our home town. My endeavor got raves from out-of-town mags but local support was lacking. Real lacking. Since my wife had a taste to expand her publishing aspirations and since my band (thought we) needed a hipper town, we (all) agreed to relocate - which we did. Finally my brand of noise was making waves. Manager, records, headlining gigs, plans for a tour. We were hot! Alas, the wife had trouble getting her thing going in a new town. She placed before me her ultimatum: stay in the new town without her, or go back home (which would dissolve the band). I decided I made a commitment to her prior to any commitment to the band, so I threw it in and went back to ... oblivion. Going back(wards) was great for her - she revived her zine and built a local empire - of sorts. Going back(wards) was a disaster for me - my band mates were gone and I had nothing. Within a year or two, our marriage was over. I still wonder ... what if ... (too late - rock & roll is a young person's game).
My second wife and I never had all that much in common but a hot sex life obscured our differences and made day-to-day life sweet. Up until a certain point, anyway. When I got into Marxism, she (a rich military man's daughter) was offended (Communism was 'sick,' 'perverted' - sound familiar?). Eventually we ran out of conversation and filled our hours with videos. Empty millions of them. A year later, I decided to put some of my principles into practice and checked out a famous ('socialist') commune. I loved it. And they loved me - I was offered a membership within a couple of weeks. Just pack and go live the egalitarian life. When I returned home, I suggested to the wife she try it out. No go. But, falling back on the one thing our relationship had going for it, she got pregnant. Bye bye, commune. I did the right thing and became a family man. A family man ... without sex (her choice, not mine) - for 7 years. Bait & switch. I figured she was just having bummer hormones and it will pass. All along, she was having an affair with a co-worker. When I found out (7 years later), that's when I decided to return to the crossdressing I suppressed during our relationship.
So when I say things like, 'the wife can deal - or walk,' now I hope some context is there.
Moral of the story. You can live your life. Or you can live someone else's. But don't expect a second chance if you make the sacrifice - you just might be out of time.
Thanks for reading.
Signed,
Originally Posted by Karren Hutton
