"Gossip" on Radio 1

[Kimberly]

I was listening to Radio 1 on the way into town, and they had a "gossip" segment, in which people sent in their random gossip... 2 of the 5 pieces I heard were about transgendered people - and it made me think.

The first: "A bussinessman booked into our hotel, and that was fine, but later he came down dressed, fully make-up, wig, accessories, completely as a woman and asked 'Where's the ladies?' Spent the whole night in the cocktail bar."

This sounds like 3 dozen stories I've read on here -- it's like clichéd crossdresser canon, or the beginning of a bad erotic-fiction piece.

The second: "I recently found out my mate was turning from Barry to Carrie."

Again, made me think... I reckon a lot of girls here, go out and think they've "passed" with flying colours - thinking that everyone else has sussed them as a woman.

Reality check, girls! They might not make a fuss, but most people probably read you and just don't care. So why is passing such an issue on here? People can read you, and not say anything right away - but you could be someone's gossiping material for the next few days!

Just think about that when you go out... Me? When I go out (if and when! hah!) the plan is to go out as Transgendered. On one level, being feminine - but not trying to con everyone into believing I'm a woman. You can quote me on that one! (Certain issues arrise - I know you're gonna say... but people should at least show each other respect when out and about.)

And I now have no doubt at all that this thread will be read by about 20 people and then die the death - like every other on here with common sense in it.

love and hugs anyway... xx

[JeanneF]

I've been listening to Radio 1 ever since I got Sirius, and it seems like they discuss transgendered people quite a lot, and pretty much as a matter of course...very different from American radio.

Anyway, I agree on the going out Transgendered. If you pass, great, but if you don't pass 100% but still put on a good facade, you can have a great time, especially in the straight bars. Hell, part of the fun of going out to the straight bars is to make a scene and have fun...I hope people are talking about me the next day.

[Lady Jayne]

I tend to agree with you as a GM the best I can hope for is for people to consider me Transgenderd, if I could pass as post op I think most people would treat me as female and that would make me feel wonderfull but I guess will still dream of passing completley

[Kimberly]

it seems like they discuss transgendered people quite a lot, and pretty much as a matter of course...

At least the subject is getting some publicity, I suppose. It just seems all very, "lets laugh at the trannies" of them.

I nearly text into the show, but it was at the end of Edith's show - so I didn't bother.

[Calliope]

So why is passing such an issue on here? People can read you, and not say anything right away - but you could be someone's gossiping material for the next few days!

I think tales of passing is a bit of 'I look better than you' - pretty catty and kinda sad.

You know when you've passed when:

1. Hooters hires you for the bikini shift.

2. [Fill in].

3. [Etc.]

Hell, part of the fun of going out to the straight bars is to make a scene and have fun...I hope people are talking about me the next day.

I go with that. When I don't pass (most of the time) and it doesn't appear I'm trying to jive anyone, the guys can move on to the women and the girls can relax.

[Kimberley]

When I go out (if and when! hah!) the plan is to go out as Transgendered. On one level, being feminine - but not trying to con everyone into believing I'm a woman. You can quote me on that one! (Certain issues arrise - I know you're gonna say... but people should at least show each other respect when out and about.)

************
You get full marks from me on that one. Why try to pass unless you can look like Sherlyn so go transgendered but not in your face. People may or more likely not clock you and you have the comfort of knowing and being.

I do it this way all the time.

Of course if you want to attract attention then a 12" skirt, 4" heels, a DD cup and crop top will definitely do it. Most ppl wont even look at your face.... LOL.


Kimberley

[Kimberley]

You know you've passed when:

Rita, the lingerie manager of the boutique offers you a job.

An old man gets up and offers you his seat on the park bench.....


Kimberley

[tekla west]

Oh come on! Just be yourself tonight. What else is there? What else can there be? Some will like it, some not, Sometimes its good, other times, as the French say:
"Vous devriez poursuivre votre tailleur en justice."

Can't win them all, so why not just win for yourself.

[Melissa A.]

I really, realy think that the overwhelming majority of us who have been out are able to because they don't care about passing. Looking good? sure. Being treated nicely? Well, that would be nice, but not guaranteed, at all. I would never be stupid eough to care about passing when out interacting with people. I'd be a nervous wreck. Of course, I don't have the courage yet to go into possibley hostile situations, like the Mall or the corner gin mill. But I think those who do probably don't care about passing, either. Midnight walks alone or stealth drives? Yeah, passing is more important there, if only for safety's sake. And that may be where many cd's delude themselves.

Hugs,

Melissa

[Karren H]

I hear passing is highly over rated anyway!! And getting read must be in? Hehe.


Just means that I don't have to work as hard on my makeup next time out.....


And hey....if you don't know that they know then in your own mind you passed!! Right?


Maybe we can get cards made up...where if you've ever passed once then you can get it punched...that way all you have to do is show your card the next time out...save a lot of time and agravation... Hehe


Love Karren

[Kimberly]

Maybe we can get cards made up...where if you've ever passed once then you can get it punched...that way all you have to do is show your card the next time out...save a lot of time and agravation... Hehe

You read me? Fine, fantastic -- take a number and wait in line!

[Sally24]

And I now have no doubt at all that this thread will be read by about 20 people and then die the death - like every other on here with common sense in it.

Pretty cynical for someone just starting out! I think a derisive attitude is at least as bad as someone deluding themselves about passing/not passing. Let's agree that there are alot of different types of crossdressing represented here. Some don't feel or behave female, just feminine. For others it's all about the other side of the male/female coin. Considering that most of us haven't seen the others, it's pretty hard to judge how good/bad they look in person.

I find constructive criticism a much better vehicle for understanding and advancement. Don't expect me to be you or the other way round. We are individuals.

Sally

[Kimberly]

Pretty cynical for someone just starting out!

*Looks at her own post count*

What's that, I see? 1,500+

[GG Vanya]

<chuckle> yup, methinks someone made an embarassing faux pas.

Sally,

Kimberly (*not* Kimberley) has been here a year longer than you have.

But, I do understand Kimberly's remark. It seems many of the more serious threads get passed over in the rush to read and post to the "I passed today" or the "what color panties do you prefer" threads.

[gulliver]

It just seems all very, "lets laugh at the trannies" of them.

- i've also heard some of the R1 bits and got the same feeling.
From my perspective, i don't try to pass 'cos i shave my head and if i wore a wig i wouldn't be me, if you see what i mean ! I still wear big heels and short(ish) skirts, and i'm growing bumps where blokes shouldn't have bumps (with no intention of snipping anything else !).
Without going into a long phsycological/philosophical discussion, i sometimes think of myself as a lesbian girl in a male body !
But i'm actually a person living my own individual life while trying to ignore the labels, classifications and judgements that this sick society tries to use to persecute, control and subjugate the human spirit.

[JoAnnDallas]

When I get those rare chances to get all dressed up, that is wig, makeup, and such, if I can do my thing and no one takes notice or does and they don't make anything out of it, then I am satisfied. When I go out, I try to blend in, wear what other GG's are wearing around me. Most of the time, no one will care or notice you. On the other hand, if you go into say WalMart wearing a mini, 4-5" heels, over the top on makeup, you WILL get noticed.
I bet a lot of us do get read, but I think that enough of the public understand what a transsexual is and may think that is what we are and leaves us alone. In fact I bet that when we spot another CDer in public, I bet the first thought that comes to your mind is she a Pre-Op or a CDer.

[Julie.]

I was listening to Radio 1 [...]

Now 'Thats' what I call *really weird* ...

MrS

[KateLongman27]

<chuckle> yup, methinks someone made an embarassing faux pas.

Sally,

Kimberly (*not* Kimberley) has been here a year longer than you have.

But, I do understand Kimberly's remark. It seems many of the more serious threads get passed over in the rush to read and post to the "I passed today" or the "what color panties do you prefer" threads.

I'm going to throw a spanner in the works, Okay Kimberly may have been on this forum for a year however I just want to know how long Sally24 has actually been a cross dresser. As I could easily pump up a post count to 1500 + counts but it still wouldn't represent Experience within the community.

Therefore joining dates and post counts are irrelevant c.f. age, experience etc.

I could say that Kimberly has more experience than Melissa A. (Post count 846 c.f. Kimberly's 1500+) However Melissa A. joined August 2004 where as Kimberly joined March 2005.

So who has the greater experience?

Hence It really bugs me when I see people comment oh I got 1500+ posts and you got...? Smart Allec comments.

They do people no good and it may lead to divisions in a time we need unity and no in fights.

[Kimberly]

Sally highlighted my comment about this forum... not about my experiences crossdressing. I've been here longer than she has so technically know this forum a little better than she does.

In the past, most have my threads have died pretty weak deaths, owing to the fact that...

many of the more serious threads get passed over in the rush to read and post to the "I passed today" or the "what color panties do you prefer" threads.

[Lisa Golightly]

You should listen to Radio 4.

[Kimberly]

Radio 2

[Lisa Golightly]

Bbc 7

[GG Vanya]

I'm going to throw a spanner in the works, Okay Kimberly may have been on this forum for a year however I just want to know how long Sally24 has actually been a cross dresser. As I could easily pump up a post count to 1500 + counts but it still wouldn't represent Experience within the community.

Therefore joining dates and post counts are irrelevant c.f. age, experience etc.

I could say that Kimberly has more experience than Melissa A. (Post count 846 c.f. Kimberly's 1500+) However Melissa A. joined August 2004 where as Kimberly joined March 2005.

So who has the greater experience?

Hence It really bugs me when I see people comment oh I got 1500+ posts and you got...? Smart Allec comments.

They do people no good and it may lead to divisions in a time we need unity and no in fights.

tsk tsk, Why make a mountain from a mole hill? I was simply having a chuckle at Sally's obvious mistake (she checked "Kimberley's profile instead of Kimberly's. It was *just* as I said, a comical faux pas. Why make it more than that?

I didn't see Kimberly's response as anything "smart allec". She was simply defending her position. Given the fact that Kimberly's been a member here for over a year, I'd dare say she's no longer wet behind the ears regarding crossdressing. I *do* agree that post numbers in no way reflect one's experience in crossdressing. Over the years, I've seen posers who never picked up a piece of womens' clothing, much less wore them, who had post numbers in the thousands. Add to that fact, Trudi {aka Nike} has precious few posts here, but has been dressing for 35 years that can be "documented". She is a twinless twin, and wore her sister's pajamas when they were just toddlers. (Her twin was killed when they were thirteen.)

No one else got their knickers knotted over it, so why did you? <shrug>

[KateLongman27]

*Looks at her own post count*

What's that, I see? 1,500+

This is what I call a smart allec comment. Bugs Me.

[Rachel Morley]

So why is passing such an issue on here?....When I go out (if and when! hah!) the plan is to go out as Transgendered. On one level, being feminine - but not trying to con everyone into believing I'm a woman. You can quote me on that one!

Hi Kimberly,

What a coincidence, this is exactly the conversation (or something really close to it) that I had with Marla last night. I was saying wouldn't it be great if I could just go out in public with everyone knowing I'm transgendered and yet they'd be totally Ok with it? In other words, I look "woman-like" enough for people to treat me as a woman, but they do know that "I'm one of those (harmless) trans people" and that really I'm a genetic male underneath it all.

I suppose the only problem with this is that some people (around here anyway) don't think like that. I think that they don't nonchalantly consider a femininely dressed guy presenting as a woman as harmless - I think they're not sure what to think, and so they (potentially) fear the unknown, which is what can lead to conflict.

The other thing with me is that if I could be sure that people's attitudes to me would be benign, I'd have no problem in not passing and knowing that everyone knows that I'm transgendered. But the problem is that I don't particularly like to be the center of attention and I don't like conflict. I'm always afraid that one day I'm going to have a bad incident. So what the hell am I doing going out in public dressed as a woman you might ask?....well that's another story we won't go into here.

So anyway, I do totally agree with you that passing shouldn't be the holy grail of crossdressing (or whatever it is) and that we, as cders, should just be happy that we know we don't pass or better still, that people know we are transgendered and they don't care. There are plenty of people on this site that are like that, but IMHO, I think they are the more experienced, out of the closet, more self accepting, cder. Basically they're in a league of their own.....and they're my role models. I hope to get there one day.