Just curoius if you ever told a friend, relative, or co-worker about your CD'ing and then wish you had kept it a secret...
I have a close GG friend that tells me all her deepest secrets and thoughts....when ever I feel "Fem" I want to tell her about my dressing, but when I'm back to "all man" I'm so glad I didn't...
Any thoughts on your experiences?
Thanks! Tracylee in Pennsylvania
I have a friend that I have want to tell for the longest time, but back out at the last minute every time. Unlike you I am allwas sorry that I did not, the saidness after is hard to deal with so in that, you are the luckly one.
We all have a little lace in us but cut from a different bolt.
Anna
When i was married back then i didnt know before hand to let her know. The result was afterwards i confessed, she never like it. After we were split she told alot of my friends some believed her some didnt. Any way i was sorry i didnt handle it better, in hindsite i have learned alot since then.
so far I told my little sister what our mom knew I was doing while they were not. My sister ask how long have I been doing this, I told her since I was 5. She did ask me If I dress up all the way and I told her once or twice with a lady freind an she did seem to have a problem with it , after that she call her sometime. I would still like to know what she thinks about me crossdressing?
I do feel better that she knows now an she does knows I chat her when I can
I told a colleague a good few years back. She and I were really close beforehand but I think it obviously freaked her out. We are no longer in touch now. She said she would never tell anyone though and to my knowledge she never has.
There are only two other people who I have told. One is a gay friend who is fine with it and the other strangely enough is an ex-girlfriend who I have stayed friends with after we split up. I also told her after we split up and she thinks it is great!
I regret telling anyone who didn't REALLY need to know. People like my wife (before marriage) and a few family members...there are no regrets.
Marie
Hi Tracylee,
I guess when you tell somebody something that you dont want sharing with others your always taking abit of a risk. I have always been of the opinion that if someone shares something very personal with me, then I feel very honoured that they have chosen to trust me. The least I can do when someone thinks that much of me is to keep my mouth shut, but unfortunately not everyone is of the same mind. I have been very let down in the past by people Ive rather niavely thought I could trust, and now I only have a couple of very close friends, including my partner, who I do actually feel that I could tell all and nothing would be revealed.
Unfortunately Crossdressing is something abit out of the ordinary, and quite a juicy little secret. Sometimes too much for someone to keep to themselves. There are people who think that its clever to divulge something that no one else knows because it sort of makes them feel really important.
I would certainly think twice before telling anyone something so personal and potentially damaging, but Im sure your already aware of that and you know this lady better than I do. Its liberating to have a friend whom you could trust 100% and I feel for the CDs on here who dont have an understanding partner, or a very good friend with whom they can share this very important part of their lives. They must feel very alone at times.
TAke care
BEVxxxxx
I've told two friends, one is a work colleague that I got on with really well and she took it in her stride, even said she had an ex that use to crossdress and borrow her clothes!
The other was a friend from university, wasn't going to say anything but had already said there was problems between myself and my wife (because I came out to her about the CDing) and he seemed to take it okay but has made quite a few cracks about it and mentioned it to his girlfriend though no-one else as far as I am aware.
So certainly don't regret telling the female friend, did wonder a few times about telling the male one.
On the other hand I really get the urge sometimes to just tell everyone so that I can just dress fem 24/7 and have no-one shocked/bothered about it. Obviously this isn't going to happen but sometimes the feeling is quite strong.
I think, in reality, if I were going to start telling anyone else I would start with female friends/colleagues first as I've always been happier talking to girls than guys.
So far, I haven't had any problems with the friends I told about my X-dressing. On the contrary, all the people I've told (4 GGs, no males so far) have reacted very positively and I can only feel happy that I did talk to them. Some have seen me "en femme" some only saw pictures of me.
Of course I picked carefully those people I felt would accept my x-dressing and the circumstances when I did my coming out to them. And so far I guessed right...
I have a few more friends I would like to tell but I am waiting for a proper time.
I had some problems however when my SO found out that I had talked about it to a common GG friend... But now she has integrated that fact in her life and we still see that GG friend as she is indeed a great friend of us. Of course nothing's said about "the subject"...
I was tempted to speak to another common friend who is a psychologist and who has made research on "Gender Identity", but given the reaction of my wife with our first friend whom I told, I prefer to abstain.
Eugenie
Not exactly, but a lot of salespeople know, some of whom I know nothing about (and don't know anything else about me), and others who I know to greater or lesser extents.Originally Posted by tracylee
At least four acquaintances who know about my dressing know my full name (or would recognize it). Another 3 acquaintances know me by femme name and male first name, and know how to email me; a couple of those have my phone number (but don't have reason to call); add another who knows both femme and first name and has my phone number (for booking appointments).
There are also staff at a few businesses who know me by sight in femme or drab (more often), but don't know anything about me. There are other staff who have been told one or another of my names and recognize me but whom never remember my name.
Ah, and my next-door neighbours accidently found out and were cool about it; we've probably talked more since the discovery than before (but we don't talk about my dressing.)
That's somewhere over a dozen people who see me from time to time and know me to be a cross-dresser. Some of these people I know well enough to chit-chat with about personal things... where's the boundary line between friendly acquaintance and friend?
But in the sense of "people I know well enough to invite over for supper and be reasonably sure they would sincerely accept", No, I haven't told any of those. No co-workers told either -- though one definitely saw me dressed, and other saw me dressed but didn't recognize me from the distance.
I have not regretted clueing in (or allowing to notice) anyone who knows so far.
It is easier to tell strangers than to tell closer friends -- less "connection" invested in case it doesn't work out. And at least four people have become closer as an outcome or side effect of my dressing.
I had a good friend, a GG who I helped color her hair and even highlight her hair. During her coloring and highlighting, she did mine. We did this several times and I even showed her my wig to point out what color I would really like to be. She swore that she would never tell anyone and it was our secret. We shared many things, her bad marrage, possible boyfriends and other girl things. I almost told her of my dressing but never got the courage.
Several months ago after getting my hair cut (she is a receptionist at the salon), her best friend came in another GG. She went on about my hair cut and how she liked my natural color and not the color my friend use to put on it. I was upset, I trusted my friend not to say anything but she did. I was so glad that I kept my dressing secret to myself. Just be careful who and what you tell if you do not want the secret out.
Melissa
Thanks to all that responded...
Isn't it interesting that in "FEM" mode (for me anyways,) I want to share the experience and have someone see Tracylee...but when in "MALE" mode I get paranoid at the thought of someone knowing...it's like dual pesonalities I guess but I don't think i have that issue...
I am blessed with a very understanding and tolerable wife.... recently she bought a skirt and said "Tracylee could fit into this" and at the time in the male mode I said "I don't think so" and dropped it...
And now I anxioiusly await another moment when she'll say something like that again...sometimes the "timing" is off....
Sometimes I just want someone else to know...and then it's like "how could I ever think such a thing"....
Yep, a few years ago when I was single, a GG friend and I where on vacation together (just the two of us) and it was late one night and we were pretty drunk. We were kinda just spilling the beans about our deepest secrets in a light hearted way and I told her about how "feeling feminine" is very important to me and I also told her about a visit to a Transformation dressing service I once had. She suddenly became more guarded and distant to me. After talking some more and her asking some "pointed questions" things did improve, but even to this day our friendship is not what it was before that night. It was a mistake. I should have been more cautious....but that's the demon drink for you!
.
The River City Gems - Northern California's largest and most active crossdressing & transgender support group!
Iam 7th of 10 kids and my sister 8th i came out to her and she was devastated, though i lost my mine. IE: haveing a nervous breakdown said she didnt know me anymore. And felt betrayed and discusted with the Nadeen side of my life.
And in her letter of goodbye she said I was the rock in her life as we grew up. But she wished that i would get help, and wished me well.
The lonelyest time in my life that i no longer wanted to be on this earth was when i lost her love and respect. And i have survied lung cancer the lost of my oldest brother and sister to cancer, but I'am stronger today as both Nadeen and other. And can handle this post not without tears, sometime we punnish ourselves I reviewed the letter befor replying to this post.
Ironicly [spell ckeck] Its my best pillow too sleep on.
Nadeen
When you were born you cried and the world rejoist,Iam 7th of 10 kids and my sister 8th i came out to her and she was devastated, though i lost my mine. IE: haveing a nervous breakdown said she didnt know me anymore. And felt betrayed and discusted with the Nadeen side of my life.
And in her letter of goodbye she said I was the rock in her life as we grew up. But she wished that i would get help, and wished me well.
The lonelyest time in my life that i no longer wanted to be on this earth was when i lost her love and respect. And i have survied lung cancer the lost of my oldest brother and sister to cancer, but I'am stronger today as both Nadeen and other. And can handle this post not without tears, sometime we punnish ourselves I reviewed the letter befor replying to this post.
Ironicly [spell ckeck] Its my best pillow too sleep on.
live your life in such a manner,
That when you die, the world will cry and you will rejoist.
From the book of Dad
Only person I ever really wanted to tell was my wife, and she accepted it; and still does. I did reveal myself to a gay friend I worked with many years ago and he loved it. My wife and I have been with other couples in the past where I have fully dressed and there were no issues; but those circumstances were where the other couple specifically wanted to be in the company of a crossdresser. Personally I would like to tell everyone by coming out completely and dressing full-time; but alas; living in "hicks ville" queensland Australia, that would just kill our business and no doubt we would have to leave town. Until then its dressing everday at work when I am "out the back" doing business paperwork; at home in the evenings and then when we are able to go away for weekends.
Hugs to all
Samantha
For me, I usually only regret when the response is negative, unfortunately by then it’s too late. Normally I’ll figure the odds of getting bad feedback ahead of time. For instance, telling your buddies in the rugby club or passing around pictures at the Thanksgiving table after dessert. These are long shots in any professional betting circle.
I think the times I'm most surprised at negative reactions is when it’s with those who I’m close with and I know they have an open mind about GLBT issues. My guess is it’s too much of a surprise when the ‘man’ image they have come to relate to, especially if it was sexually, is then flipped suddenly. I’ve found ex-girlfriends are a bad bet. Being sexually attracted to someone who then switches sides even temporarily, must become confusing I suppose. Maybe it brings up personal homosexual conflicts in them. It’s hard to tell.
In the beginning when I first was able to fully dress with a wig and makeup, I was so excited at my successful transformation that I told way too many friends. To make matters worse I showed them pictures as if that would help with my campaigning and elicit a more positive response. Like, “Oh, you’re actually a very cute drag queen, that’s not so bad”, was what I figured they’d think.
One thing that helped, for me, was any girl I dated afterward, I’d bring the subject up at the very beginning ( second/third date). That way I’d know straight away if it was a ‘show stopper’. I think it helps with the assimilation process to see both sides of me immediately, and avoid the much more difficult ‘discussion’ that becomes ever more difficult as time passes.
well you know, boys will be....well sometimes girls
i have told lots of my friends and they have all been very nice and helpful about it even the people i thought would take the micky where understanding and theres no better feeling than when your friend accept you as "one of the girls"
For me, it's a little early to know yet.
I finally told a GG longtime friend last night.
She is the first person that I have ever told in person.
Her reaction so far has been much better than I expected.
Only time will really tell for sure.
Live in the Present.
Forgive the Past.
There is only one person I regret telling, I made the mistake of telling a coworker's wife about my transgendered tendencies even showing her my painted toenails. She has a nail salon and told me to come in some time and she would do my nails. It turns out that her husband, my coworker is still freinds with my wife's uncle and word about me got back to my inlaws. Now when my coworkers ask me to go out to the ballgame I politely tell them no. Everyone else that I have told about being TS has been totally cool and supportive about it, my close friend who was my bestman at my wedding, the GG's that I work with, my parents, and especially my sister-in-law. Actually I am glad that I can tell people that I am TS, because I can be truthful to others how I really am. I don't want to hide anymore from what and who I am, I am proud to say that I am transgendered.
Joan Lynn
Just a girl stranded on her little red island amongst a lovely sea of blue.
"Be who you are and say what you feel, for those that mind don't matter and those that matter don't mind."
Dr. Seuss
I didn't tell my partner after until about week after dating. One night she decided to have me put on a lingerie top just to be kinky. I took this as a cue that I could later introduce me to my secret. The following date I showed her some of my CD polaroids over dinner at a nice restaurant. Big mistake! she marched out and I tracked her down the street (her apartment was a few blocks away). Anyway, it was never brought up again and she became my wife a few months later. However, I never cd'd during those six tears of marriage. Now, I'm totally upfront about my cd'ing to avoid surprises. Cheri is part of the package period! Can you dig it! Cheri.
It's not that important to me that anyone knows. Kinda like social suicide to me. It's important that I have accepted myself. But at the moment the wife is not accepting and I hope we can work through this.
I find it is always better to be up front about most everything with those that are important in your life. If they aren't going to like it, you might as well find out now.
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
I had a fairly similar experience with my wife. When she thought my x-dressing was just a sexual fantazy, she didn't mind and we even had a few sexual experiences with me wearing women underwear. But when she found out that I had more to x-dressing than just a sexual fantazy, she became a lot less supportive, and that is just a euphemism...
Just a little remark, eventhough I'm far from being a Dr. Freud admirer, you did make one Freudian slip, unless it was really what you wanted to say:
"However, I never cd'd during those six tears of marriage."
Well, being for more than 40 years with my wife (counting the years before we married), there are years and tears in any couple lasting relations...
My wife has come to realise that X-dressing was too important for me so she has decided to tollerate it but doesn't want to have anything to do with it. So I also have my share of "tears" over all these "years".
Eugenie
I have met someone on this forum. A GG who knows of my secret. I feel like a new me is born. No hidden secrets, nor anything that is not open and honest. WOW, what a feeling. It is like no dark clouds only sunshine.
I have no regrets to this awakening. I only hope that we continue to be friends and enjoy a relationship that is warm and have many happy moments.
Thanks to everyone here for giving me the courage to take the next step.
Or am I being crazy for doing this?
It just feels right.
Miss Vicki
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