I want to be accepted as ...

[sparks]

I'm just me.

[KimberlyS]

be accepted as a feminine and masculine guy that wears a mixture of masculine and feminine clothes.

KimberlyS - CD

[GypsyKaren]

What you want in life and what you get are two different things. It would be real easy to say that I want to be accepted as a woman, but I'm not one, am I? No matter that I believe myself to be one and always have, I'm still a genetic male, and nothing can ever change that.

I just want to be accepted as a person, nothing more and nothing less. If people will do only that then they will see the real me for who and what I am, and that will make me happy.

Karen

[eleventhdr]

Being a male is not what you might think it is trust me I am still one and really do not care very much for it at all!

Jay Suzy!

[Nina UK]

I picked man because all i want to do is to be accepted as a man who enjoys wearing ladies clothing, its as simple as that.

[ReginaK]

Where is the choice for neither?

[krisybryant]

I don't mean to rain on the parade. I always enjoy your thought provoking comments, but this sounds more like a question of pronoun preference.
"What would I do if I'm called miss?"

I was thinking about this the other day. I don't like to be called either 'sir' or 'mam'; 'you' works for me.

[Ms. Donna]

Marla,

You know better than to ask me this question.

There is this binary sex system which left its marks within the human culture.

Binary Sex... maybe.
Binary Gender... sorry, not buying it.

"I want to be me" isn't an option either, because you can't be named by others as me ).

I don't need to be named by others.

Point is: You have the two named options. Which one you choose for your life.

Gender as a binary is but one possible arbitrary interpretation of the world. It is no more valid - nor can it be proved or disproved with any more certainty - than any other gendered interpretation of the world.

And besides, any choice on my part is largely irrelevant, as people will gender me - all of us - as they see fit.

Suffice to say, I've abstained from voting.

Love & Stuff,
Donna

[Shauna_D]

Selecting the "male" response is straight forward for me. However I would never deny my strong feminine side and I treat macho or aggressive behaviour and attitudes with much distain. Although I live my male persona, on a number of occasions I have been mistaken for a woman anyway, especially when travelling on aircraft for some strange reason. It must have something to do with my long hair!
Sincerely
Shauna

[trannie T]

I'm a man but I enjoy wearing women's clothing. I enjoy my male self, I enjoy my female self. I do not wish to be 100% male, I do not wish to be 100% female. I have made my choice, I reject the question.

[Marla S]

Marla

Voted woman. Done the man thing. Not that keen on it.

Elle
X

I feel the same way at times, elle! I've had a good life being a man and it's a bit boring!! So now I'd like to try something different!!

Love,
Stephanie

That's an valid argument

[Marla S]

When I dressed as a boy people fixated on my breasts and made assumptions about what I was. When I dressed as a girl I was accepted as 'normal'... but I wasn't. My adoption of abnormal clothing made me closer to normality in their social view.

Isn't thid matter already complex enough ?

[Marla S]

Still not keen on the black/white binary choices. Republican or Democrat - you can't win. Give me a good ol' wishy washy independent, anyday.

want to be accepted as none of the above! In other words as a Tranny.

Where is the choice for neither?

I don't mean to rain on the parade. I always enjoy your thought provoking comments, but this sounds more like a question of pronoun preference.
"What would I do if I'm called miss?"

I was thinking about this the other day. I don't like to be called either 'sir' or 'mam'; 'you' works for me.

Marla,

You know better than to ask me this question.


Binary Sex... maybe.
Binary Gender... sorry, not buying it.

Well, I think there is no way out of the binary system. That's why I omitted the option "neither" or "sometimes this way/sometimes that way".
Our whole culture is based on the binary system since the very frist day.
(If one goes a bit deeper it's only based on reproduction).
Hence the question wasn't about what we like or not, but about what actually is.

I don't know how it works for you, but the first thing my mind does when I see someone is judging instinctively and automatically "woman" or "man". It can't be helped (I consider myself somewhat trained TG wise) and that is the basis of further judgment (good/bad looking man/woman, rich/poor man/woman, friendly/unfriendly man/woman, masculine man/woman, feminine woman/man, etc.)

The shading starts only after this major categorization. That's why I don't like the word gender, because it bears the false pretences of a inbetween, third, forth etc. gender. There is non and there never will be one (society wise). IMO this is a self-deception to assume it ever will be different.
(I've said it elsewhere that German language is more honest here, cause it makes no difference between sex and gender; for good reasons I think).

I don't need to be named by others.

IMO that's not true either. Humans are social beings (otherwise we wouldn't even know that we have "gender-problems"). Hence interaction with others is mandatory. Interaction means to be named by others. Interaction means that we will get the name/label man or woman as a basis for further judgement/shading/interaction. Last but not least we build our identitiy partly by this interaction. There is nothing we can do about it. Trying to deny this is another self-deception IMO, and can cause trouble for ones soul.

Gender as a binary is but one possible arbitrary interpretation of the world. It is no more valid - nor can it be proved or disproved with any more certainty - than any other gendered interpretation of the world.

What is arbitrary to a major part is the assignement of traits/skills/privileges to the one or other sex. This is what is discussable and what we question, nothing more but also nothing less. Non discussable is the gentic sex and hence the binary social system that is related to the sexes as close as thinkable.

And besides, any choice on my part is largely irrelevant, as people will gender me - all of us - as they see fit.

That's exactly the intention of my question. Though it is irrelevant what we wish, because we will be fitted in by others, I think it is important to position.
IMO we have to make two things clear for ourself:
1.) What is my self-perception (man, woman, inbetween, something completaly different)
2.) What will be the perception by others ? (man, woman)
(Don't has to be the same, necessarily)

Both aspects have to coordinated. We are able to have any thinkable gender by self-perception, but we also have to fit this in to the binary system.
Starting from "I want to be accepted as man" or "I want to be accepted as woman" we can shade ahead.

Suffice to say, I've abstained from voting.

I think it is important to make a descision some day, because IMO it is an important step to become accepted. IMO it is easier for the society and our loved ones to deal with shades within the binary sex/gender system than to create something "new".

[moira1952]

I voted woman solely because that is all i have ever wished to be accepted as .

[Marla S]

What you want in life and what you get are two different things. It would be real easy to say that I want to be accepted as a woman, but I'm not one, am I? No matter that I believe myself to be one and always have, I'm still a genetic male, and nothing can ever change that.

So true.

I just want to be accepted as a person, nothing more and nothing less. If people will do only that then they will see the real me for who and what I am, and that will make me happy.

I want that too, but I don't think that the category person really exsists. There is a male person, female person, feminine person, masculine person etc.
The real you only can be discovered by people willing to talk and deal and listen to you; that's a minority, the most important one though.

[Clare]

If I was to choose which 50% I'd rather be then I'd go for the male 50%.

[SIZE=3]I have to agree with Lisa, but only because i've lived "in role" as a male and it's all I'm certain of. Just because I desire to be feminine doesn't mean I automatically know it's "the preferred option". Being of "the female gender" binary is still an unknown to me in reality.

Marla, you wouldn't happen to be a Pyschology student or professional? I've read a lot of your posts of this nature and you seem to have a lot of knowledge, particulary the terminology of the subject.

I don't mind your questions tho as I find them intellectually stimulating and thought provoking for me as a TG. This thread is a very good example.
[/SIZE]

[NatashaWI]

I've only dressed once and will again this year on Halloween but I was accepted as a woman even though most knew who I was. Since I was a fortune teller with Tarot cards, I fell into character and soon everyone just saw me as Madam Natasha...it was delightful

[Grrrrr]

100% male with a kinky feminine side to me!

[Raychel]

A man who likes to wear dresses

[Billie Jean]

I have never wanted to "be" a woman. I just want to be accepted as a man who likes his femininity and likes to outwardly express it - as well as inwardly feel it.

Me too, without being labeled gay(which I'm not). I would like to wear the clothes I want and just be myself. Billie Jean

[Lee Andrews]

100% man, I just happen to love the clothes and or look of the femmine side.

Lee.

[gulliver]

..........to be categorised !

There is this binary sex system which left its marks within the human culture.
The latter makes a human male a man and a human female a woman.
I think it is not too pessimistic to say that this never will change.

I find that to be an extremely pessimistic attitude that helps perpetuate the problems we face trying to be accepted in society as people. Surely once we become aware of those marks in the culture, we can try to change them for the better.

So, to be assigned to a place in this system there are only two options:

To be accepted as man.
To be accepted as woman.

(To be accepted as a person is not really an option, because person is not related to sex or gender.

To be accepted as a person is all i've wanted throughout my life.
I'm not sure i really know what it is to 'be' or 'feel' 'male' or 'female'.
I may know what it's like to feel 'feminine' or 'masculine', but that's not the same.

"I want to be me" isn't an option either, because you can't be named by others as me ).

Point is: You have the two named options. Which one you choose for your life.

I ABSTAIN !

[LaurenS.]

I picked man because all i want to do is to be accepted as a man who enjoys wearing ladies clothing, its as simple as that.

I agree! It's as simple as that but.....it's not simple.

[Kate Simmons]

I can't honestly vote in this one Marla. Third option (being a person) is the only one for me. Doesn't set well with me being "told' I have to be one or the other and I don't accept that really. Ericka

[Sky]

I'm a guy in a dress. All of us are.

The "I don't want to be categorized" thing reminds me of Monty Python's great Life of Brian skit (shortened version):

"I want to be a woman. I want to have babies. It's my right as a man to have babies."
"But you can't have babies!"
"Don't you oppress me. Even if I can't have babies, I have the right to have babies. "
"What's the point of fighting for your right to have babies when you can't have babies?"
"It is symbolic of our struggle against oppression."
"(apart) Symbolic of your struggle against reality."