An ultimatum!!
What would you do if your partner gave you an ultimatum.
If she/he said to you, 'you must give up cross dressing or I won't be a part of your life anymore' what would you do?? Could you do it??
I know this is really a hyperthetical question, but answer it honestly
Tamara x
Administrator
Missing my Libra babe Sherlyn, I hope she's rocking up there with the angels
Missing our Rianna, doesn't seem right, gone to early, hope she's partying with Sherlyn
"To thine own self be true." That's all I have to offer.
Hugs and kisses Noel
I have too agrre with NoelOriginally Posted by Noel Chimes
Love Laura
It's not a lie to keep the truth to one's self.....a Vulcan saying!!!
Well, she did and I agreed. Didn't last long though. So now she knows I can't and has come around.
DonnaT
Honestly, although it would be tough at first, I would stop. My wife is more important to me than my desires are.
[SIZE=4]~ASHLEIGH~[/SIZE]
Finis Origine Pendet (The end depends upon the beginning)
Partner - what partner. the nearest I've had in the last 10 months is lusting at a GG in a club I go to.
To answer the question though, I was dressing when I lived alone in the mid/late '80's and early '90's and I purged when the GG who was to become my first wife moved in with me. I never told her of my dressing from the day we met in about 1990/91 until 11th June 2004.
When I did tell her, she was cool with it. She was annoyed, however, that I now shave my body hair off, whilst when we were together I flatly refused to do anything about getting rid of the disgusting fluff.
My second wife never new of my dressing either (but she will find out next week at work - I'd love to be the fly on the wall, I think she is going to be called into the office and they are going to make a special case of telling her, as she is VERY likely to try to cause trouble for me, but will, at least have serious problems with me).
Anyway, getting back to the point, by the comments I have given above, it is obvious that during my relationships I would have stopped dressing.
It's not going to happen now though. I'm here forever.
Rachel
The few boyfriends I had in the past, have all known Amelie. I was dressed when we met. None of them would have wanted me to stop dressing, I would not have been friends with someone who would have wanted me to stop dressing. So to answer the question, I would not stop dressing for anyone. If my SO didn't like my dressing, then we would split up.
Being Amelie is a part of me, I can't give up a part of me for anyone.
Amelie
I would give up absolutely...until the next brain storm. I am lucky in that the mood only comes on me in waves rather than being part of my being. But...well it is part of my being dammit. O.K. I could give up. For years probably. Seriously for years. (but I'd fantasise a lot) Then I'd crack and sneak off and do it behind everyones back so as not to upset anyone.
Which is lying.
Which is very sad.
At this point in my life I would say see ya hon. life has been great with you, time to start again.
I couldn't really say because my SO has known all along. But I have tried to give it up only to hate myself and everybody around me, so I would probably have a tough time deciding
Rikki
While I would hope that it would never come to that....I would give up dressing as hard as that might be.
Hugs
Barbie
Dressing is for life not just for Christmas.
Shame I don't drive or I could have it as a bumper sticker,
JJ
I have no idea what I would do as I have not been put in that position before. I guess if it happened I would decide until then, I just don't know.
Oh I could be say that I would leave or I would not dress again but honestly I have no idea what I would do.
Donna Louise
Life - Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations
Tamara
Good question, when I was first married I had the ultimatium and said I would not do it again of course I did and that lead to the end of my marriage.
If I ever had a relationship I would have to tell the girl before we started living together and see what happens - there would be no ultimatium.
THe interesting question as a side what would my reaction be if my spouse started dressing in my male cloths all the time would I give her the same ultimatum - the answer to that is I don't know.
Mind of a woman Body of a Man Life is a Bitch.
As fun as dressing is, it does not provide companionship and that is more important to me than a pile of clothes.
I couldn't love anyone who gave me an ultimatum of any sort. I couldn't give up who I am, it would be like giving up breathing.
“I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.”
― Marilyn Monroe
Giving up the opportunity of expressing oneself through clothing would lead to a mental breakdown more than likely, for me at least. Although I am pretty lonely at times, expressing myself brings me alot more happiness than any one person could ever, unless of course they embraced that side of me. If life is the pursuit of happiness, then I have found mine and there will be a significant other to fill whatever void is left. I decided to be out about my sexuality after my first girlfriend left me. Being out as a crossdresser ensures that any girlfriend I will have in the future already knows who they are getting involved with.
Charlie/Chelsea
Last edited by gender_blender; 12-29-2004 at 12:50 AM.
A Really Tough One
The dressing has caused and is still causing problems with us. If there was an ultimatum, for the sake of the kids I would try to stop but honestly I don't know if I could or if I would just be covert about it. If there were no kids involved or if they were grown I'd more than likely call her bluff in that we trully do love each other but if I had to choose then I'd probably start over. She knew about my CDing before we married. Yes,the degree has changed over the years. I'm more accepting of myself than I was 15- 20 years ago, then dressing up in womens clothes was wierd , but sexually stimulating. Now I realize that it is a side of me that I kept hidden from all, including myself and now I want to experiment and learn all about me.
My feelings exactly .....I wouldnt have a clue as to what I would do
GUILT
HATE
REMORSE
Three words that im sure quite a few of us have had to deal with before and hopefully never have to again.
OK Ill get off the soapbox now,thanx for letting me vent a little
kally
ultimatum!
bye-bye.
[QUOTE=CheapMascara]You "might" for the sake of the kids. How very big of you. Once upon a time people didn't dare even get divorced for the "sake of the kids". We, as a culture have become sooooooo self-absorbed, and immediate gratification that it is totally unbelievable!!!!! The sacrifices that my father made and his father before him are incomprehensible to the last two generations!!!!!!
Now......I'm not saying that we should just "buck up", or that the things discussed in this forum aren't legit........I'm just saying that "perspective" shouldn't always mean "just" our personal perspective. Having to hide something doesn't necessarily mean we are in prison. AND....if it sometimes feels that way it doesn't mean that the only solution is me me me.
Just playing the devils advocate.[/QUOTE
CheapMascara, I find what you say here is true for some CDs, I am included in this group you call,,,the me,me,me. I am very much into myself, but I don't hide it from the people I meet, or from my boyfriends. I try to find someone who is compatable with my way of life and my inner feelings(not very easy).
I would not lie to my SO about myself just to have a relationship. This is probably why I have had so few relationships. I have to live with this. Some here can make these sacrafices in life, I am weak, I can not change myself for the sake of a relationship.
ChaepMascara, I believe in what you are saying, it is true. I am not challenging your thoughts. I am just saying that I can't make these sacrifices for someone.
Love Amelie
my wife dosent know abought wendy.......although i have been caught with make up on.......she knows abought some fem clouthing i keep ...........she thinks it for halloween coustems...............i mean realy accross from our bedroom is my office with a closet full of wendy's things mabey she knows but dosen't want to know.........
stop or i will leave you????????though one..........it took a long time for me and "him" to come to terms with this part of us........almost killed us don't think i could live through putting away wendy for ever she is me .........i am her
Fortunately for me I don't think that I will ever have to deal with a situation like that. My wife is very loving and understanding and even tolerante of the person that I am becoming. I say becoming because until I joined this group I had never even hinted to anyone that this side of me existed. Now I find that the more I discover about who I really am the more loving and even tempered I become and I think that my wife likes the more sensitive person that I am becoming. Even though at times she has a hard time dealing with the changes. I have come to realize that most of the changes are things that were there all along that I was afraid to show because I was afraid that I would show to much and would give myself away some how.
As for the idea of this or that but not both. I am not sure how I would react. I really believe that it would be something that would have to be dealt with at the time. Though I want to believe that I would be willing to give up dressing to maintain the love that we share I really don't know. But what it really comes down to is the question: Does she love you for you or for the idea of who she wants you to be?. Because if she loves you for you then there would never be a time when this could happen. But if she loves the idea of who she wants you to be then it could be easy for her to force a choice there by showing that she never really loved or accepted the person that you are and making it clear that the marriage could not last anyway because the commitment hasto be 100% or nothing at all. That is the only way that it will ever work and the two parties both be happy.
huggs
anna
[SIZE=5]
May the Great Spirit Bless you in all things.
My website: [/SIZE][/SIZE][SIZE=5][SIZE=2]http://360.yahoo.com/mrsanna_25
[/SIZE][/SIZE][SIZE=5][SIZE=2]The Be-All Website: http://www.be-all.org/
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You can't ever stop once you've stated.
I once tried stopping, I even gave my clothes to a charity shop. I did not last very long, my SO and me had lots of fun restocking my wardrobe.
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