triggers

[suzannecarr]

i took a class on addiction during my emt training, it really detailed what are known as triggers, for those who dont know what im talking about , a trigger is something( a photo, a smell, a person, etc.) that sends an impulse to our brain that makes us want to do something or take some type of action. anyway to make a long story short this morning i got up early, dressed in drab for a while, hair in ponytail, bra , panties, nightgown, then proceeded to get dolled up, i have some new clothes(resale shop) sweaters. jeans, two pair of heels, a purse, got some new mascara , the two stage kind and a new lash curler, did my face and curled my newly washed hair, i took some pics, looked good to me!lol! anyway i decided to cut it short in a way and cleaned up and washed my face and stuff, let my male persona come back (uuuggggggggh) i ramble alot, kinda like a woman huh! anyway i was watching what i consider to be a "man show" cold pizza on espn, anyway i noticed that the girl who co host (dana jacobsen i think is her name) she is a taller girl but really cute in my opinion, she has shoulder length brown hair and blue eyes, anyway i noticed that she was growing her hair out and i thought to myself you go girl! i thought if she were with me i would tell her that i think it will look cute and i thought about how i would curl and style it if i were her, i also noticed that my legs were crossed, and my wrist was limp, and i was playing with my nails, i was supposed to be acting like a guy and grunting and that sort of thing you know guy stuff! evidently i went quickly back to femme mode without noticing, now i dont have a thing against femme acting gay men, of course i dont act that way and try to put forth a false pretense of being as masculine as possible( i have a girl butt!lol!, long natural lashes, high cheekbones, etc.) the bottom line is i am worried that sometimes i am not noticing different behaviors that i may be exhibiting, and people may be noticing , understand what im trying to say? i was told once by an ex girlfriend that i wanted to be a woman and everyone knew it! she said that i noticed things that only women noticed and i played with her hair in a way as to suggest that i wish i had her hair and that i was obsessed by a hair fetish that had more to do with me being envious of women more than thinking they were pretty! i hope this makes sense. anyway i try to keep this in mind on a day to day basis so as not to draw attention to the fact that when i look at most women, im admiring their style instead of there physical attributes, except when im jealous of those things!lol!. well, anyway does anybody else identify with these triggers and emotions, i mean i was really trying to be a guy, but oh well, i guess i should just be what i am, which is ? you tell me! , lol! im so confused! suz

[Annaliese]

I have done the same thing I dont try to hide it any more, I am letting my self be who I am. And that is all you interself is trying to say, be your self.

Anna

[Karren H]

You don't sound confused to me!! You sound as normal as the rest of us!! .

Love Karren

[Phyliss]

You sound as normal as the rest of us!! .

Love Karren

Oh? really. We're "normal' HA!!!!

Guys who like to wear dresses.......That's "normal"?

I don't care if it is or it isn't I like to do it.

[jennig]

HI susan Iam right there with you i GET TO THE POINT THAT i FEELthat I lost my male side and also catch my self In guy mode doing things well fem I keep my hair in a fem way and have gone into a baber shop with the intent of cutting it all off but could not go through with it. the bottom line is that I have become more of a woman then a man and I know It would be easyer to be a man then a woman I choose not to . I dont know how much longer I can stay in limbo and I hear from your post you are in the same boat.

hugs jennig

[Charleen]

I have done the same thing I dont try to hide it any more, I am letting my self be who I am. And that is all you interself is trying to say, be your self.

Anna

Me to a Tee Love and xxxx, Lily

[Snookums]

You don't sound confused to me!! You sound as normal as the rest of us!! .

Love Karren

Karen we are the only normal life forms on this planet,it's everyone else who is abnormal

[KarenSusan]

Oh? really. We're "normal' HA!!!!

Guys who like to wear dresses.......That's "normal"?

I don't care if it is or it isn't I like to do it.

I'll drink to that!

[DAVIDA]

Oh? really. We're "normal' HA!!!!

Guys who like to wear dresses.......That's "normal"?

I don't care if it is or it isn't I like to do it.

That is normal to me!

[Billijo49504]

The last time I went to my primary doctor, I told him I needed a 12 step program for my adiction. He got very serious and asked what I was adicted to. I told him it was PRETZELS!!!!! I can go through a pound in a few days. They call too me, eat me, I buy 5 or 6 bags at a time. HELP!!!!Crunch...BJ

[Paula Thomas]

Billijo - This should help "cure" you (and if it doesn't cure you......you won't care).

Festive Pretzels

Rold-Gold mini-pretzels
Hershey Kisses (any type, except with almond inside)
M&M w/Peanut (maybe plain, mint, etc.)

Put Rold-Gold mini-pretzel with Hershey Kiss on top (centered) in the microwave and “cook” for one minute.

Remove from microwave and let set for one minute.

“Smash” M&M on top of the Hershey Kiss.

Let cool completely.

Note - The more decorative the Hershey Kiss, the “prettier” it will look; if you break off the top of the Hershey Kiss before microwaving, it is easier to “smash” the M&M on top without sliding off to the side; need to experiment with filled Hershey Kisses to see if they work (e.g., caramel filled, cherry cordial)

[Sasha Anne Meadows]

Hi girls. I feel very normal in my girl mode. It is my boy mode that makes me feel abnormal.

[christie]

When I haven't dressed in a while, I start to act and feel out of sorts. That is all cured by a bra and panties. Then I feel that all is right with the world. So I know exactly how you feel.

Christie