O U T ! ! !

[uknowhoo]

As some of you may have read in the Lounge, today was National Coming Out Day (here in the States, I suppose).

My wife, God bless her, has on several occasions seen femme items which I had accidentally left out. Without much detail, I alluded to the fact that such items were for my own private use, as it were, and this was sufficient. A week or so ago, though, I left all my femme stuff out, including my wig. My wife was a bit more persistent in her curiousity this time.

So, despite reservations, and being scared out of my panties, I came clean and told her I was a crossdresser. The talk went about as well as I might have hoped. I was very forthcoming, answering all her questions and even offering additional details, in the interest of full disclosure. I explained what a Godsend this place has been for me, and for so very many others as well. She is still pretty much in shock and somewhat distressed, as would be expected. She didn't pack her bags or mine, or ask me to sleep in the other room, etc. She did cry a little, explained that she was angry about the deception, though by the end of the conversation (1 1/2 hours?), she did understand and appreciate why I had not come out sooner.

Before hugging me goodnight, she said she had so much more respect for me now that I had come out to her. I'm sure you can appreciate how comforting that was for me, and how loving it was of her.

Having read many dozens of threads by others in similar situations, I am under no illusions that all will be well with our lil world tomorrow morning and stay that way. My wife is rather emotional, and has bipolar disorder, so I know there will be some difficulties ahead. My biggest concern right now is that she'll still be able to see me, and be attracted as a man, knowing what she knows now. That said, I am mostly optomistic for our future, and very much relieved to have this burden of secrecy removed.

Thank you all for being here for and with me, I'll keep you posted.

Yours truly,

Tammi

[CaptLex]

So happy for you, Tammi. What a relief that must be. I hope that given time your wife will get over the shock. As I'm sure the GGs can tell you better than me, the deception is a big deal. As you know, this site can be a source of help if she wants it. Good for you, hun! Happy Coming Out Day!

[Talon DeRojo]

Tammi - Congratulations! I admire your courage in coming out. There will likely be some ups and downs concerning the issue in the weks and months to come, but you've taken an important first step. Your wife has not rejected you out of hand. Be patient with her - it's going to take some time for her to digest it all and reach whatever level she can of understanding, tolerance, or acceptance of this new (to her) part of you. I wish you the best.
Talon

[Barb Valentine]

Congratulations Tammi
I'll bet you feel like a great weight has been lifted from your shoulders
I'm so happy for you
I hope every thing works out

[lisa68]

I'm so happy for you Tammi. I always dreamed that I could do that with my SO, but when it comes to telling her anything that deals with the truth it gets very bad around here at the house. As much as I hate it being that way ( for the last 15yrs.) sometimes the truth is better not said to her. She has seen me dressed a few times in the passed, but we could never talk like senseble adults and it gets ugly here at home. I hope things go well for you. Later girl.

[Jenny Beth]

Congratulations Tammi for taking such a huge step. No doubt things will be difficult at times but I'm sure you will be able to meet the challenge. We all know that our relationships come first and hopefully in time things will work out for both of you.

[Billijo49504]

Tammi, My wife is bipolar too. and she doesn't have a problem with my CDing. She has her problems and I have mine. For your info, we have been married for, get this as of November 9 this year, it will be 22 years. My wife seems to have a big problem about every 4 years. A med reavaliation/...BJ

[EricaCD]

Tammi - good for you. I know how tough that was, and I applaud you for taking the right step forward. I am pleased and relieved to hear that at least the initial reaction was ok. Very best of luck to you and your wife as you progress together.

Erica

[Girly Sara]

That's fantastic news, Tammi! You can't beat the liberation you feel and the weight off your shoulders when you come out to the people you love.

I hope you both get much closer now that you've shared your secret.

All the best!

Sara x

[swiss_susan]

Tammi,

Glad things went well for you with your wife. I hope things keep improving for you both.

[Deborah]

Glad to hear Tammi. How's the other part going? Pm me if you like.

[Phyliss]

I'm very happy for you. I only wish I had your courage.

[Sandra]

Well done Tammi,

Just take it slow with her, you're going to have the ups and downs but with give and take on both sides the downs can be worked through and enjoy the ups.

[GypsyKaren]

Well, we've sure talked about this more than once, so you know how much I support you on this. I'm very happy for you Tammi, it took a lot of guts to come out, and I'm sure you'll feel much better without that monkey on your back.

Karen

[Angie G]

Tammi I know it ahard time good luck hope all coms out OK
ANGIE

[cindybarnes]

Tammi,
Good for you! Im sure its a big relief !!
Just remember the ups when you have some downs (I know I still have both after all this time)
Cindy

[DanaJ]

Tammi - I am SO proud and happy for you!!!

[Tina Dixon]

Wow, wishing you all the luck Tammi, it's a hard thing to do telling of your dressing, there is no easy way, coming clean or being found out, good luck to the two of you.

[Joy Carter]

[uknowhoo]

Good morning all. Thank you all so very much for your words of kindness and support. So far, so good. My wife was pretty much her normal self this morning as we got ourselves and our son ready for the day, then she left for work, with the usual kiss and "I love you," though it did feel a bit better than the usual.

Several of you applauded my courage, or guts or whatever. While I do appreciate all your kind words, the truth of the matter is that I didn't have all that much of a choice. I wouldn't've been able to just gloss over it this time (mainly given the wig thingy - it kinda wigged her out). But the big first step is behind us, and thousands more little steps lay ahead. I have all of you to thank, in large part, for the strength (and self-acceptance) to see me through this.



edit: 10:00, my wife called just to say hi, I love you, you'll always be my best friend, and to see how i was doin'.

[Rachel Ann]

YAY Tammi!

You are starting a trend.

I am planning to come out to my friends by showing up *en femme* for Thanksgiving dinner. I have a makeover scheduled for that morning so that I will look my very best.

Rachel xxx

[SherriePall]

Tammi -- It was seven years ago I told my wife of then 25 years that I was a CD. She was shocked. She cried. She asked the couple of big questions. She cried and I then slept (?) alone for two nights. She came around after that and we enjoy a truce now.
So, what from my experience, you are over the top, but there may be bumps in the road ahead. Take it easy. Don't flaunt it in her face. And show her that you love her.

[Patsy Stone GG]

A big step for you both - good luck to you Tammi

[Holly]

Tammi, congratulations on a job well done. On the courage issue, don't sell yourself short. You could have just as easily opted to go for something less than full disclosure... but you didn't. You are wise to realize that there may be bumps ahead but I am confident that the two of you will smooth things out as they come up. My prayers and happiness to both of you.

[Sharon86]

Big to you both, now atleast the biggest hurdles' out of the way. A giant leap into a very happy future for you both. LOL Sharon.xxx