Small steps.

**MonaSmith** · 01-02-2005, 03:58 PM

Hi all,

I have just come out to my Mum for the second time. Let me try to explain (not my strong point).

I told my Mum about my crossdressing when I was about 14/15. She knew already, due mostly to my sloppy clothes-hiding skills. She said it was okay and asked the usual questions (are you gay? Do you want to be a woman, Etc). She has always known, but has never brought the subject up since, unless I have. Which is part of the problem, as I have never had the confidence to show her Mona and I could never bring myself to talk to her about Mona either. Pathetic, I know.

Well, today I finally pulled myself together. I was out shopping this morning and I bought a pretty picture frame, I put my best picture (my uncut Avatar pic) in the frame and wrapped it up in pretty gold wrapping paper. At dinner I asked a few questions to feel out the territory a bit, and then gave it to her, telling her that it was a late Christmas present. My heart was in my mouth, making dinner very difficult to eat, she opened it and looked at me funny. "Is that you?" she asked. "yes" I said, head down, playing with my food. "Wow, I would never have recognised you, you look like a woman". Well, at this point my heart was beating so hard that I could barely hear over it. She loved the picture, she told me she loved me, and we talked non-stop about it for the whole meal. She has all our family pictures up on her bedroom wall and she said that she wants to add Mona to the family and hang the picture up with the rest. I am so happy right now. She said that she didn't mind if I dressed around the house and would be as involved as I wanted her to be.

It was only a small step compared with some of the very courageous things that some of the girls here have done, but it was a step nonetheless. It worked very well as a way of letting her know, without the shock and embarrassment, for both of us, of having me dress and confront her. I am planning on showing my sister next.

2005 is going to be a very good year, I can feel it.

Kerri · 01-02-2005, 04:19 PM

Dear Mona, I'm sooooo happy for you! Your bravery & courage & and sharing is such a wonderful thing for you and your Mum to now be able to experience together. Well done Mona! I loved your story and really admire your decision and your courageous action and results ... it even brought tears to my eyes. Here's hoping that 05' is going to be not just a good year ... but a fantastic year for you.

Kerri

**MonaSmith** · 01-02-2005, 04:23 PM

Thanks Kerri,

Like I said it wasn't very much, but I thought that I would share it. It seemed like a good way of breaking her in gently, and it worked very well for me.

I hope that 2005 is fantastic for you too.

**Rachel_740** · 01-02-2005, 04:37 PM

Mona,

That's fantasitic news and a huge step. I'm so pleased that your Mum accepted the picture and accepts you! Wanting to put the picture on her wall tells me that your Mum is more than accepting of you, and chatting throughout your meal really says everything.

I know you have only just told her, but have you any plans yet to show her Mona?

As you say, a brilliant start to what looks like being a great year for you.

Hugs and kisses,

Rachel

PS. I just looked at your profile and I see it's your birthday in a few weeks. How about dressing for your birthday - just a thought

**MonaSmith** · 01-02-2005, 04:41 PM

Hi Rachel,

Thank you, I don't think that I am quite ready to show her Mona, face to face, yet, but I think that it will be sooner rather than later. I am just happy that Mona is now part of the family.

**Sharon** · 01-02-2005, 04:42 PM

Mona,
Small step? Dang girl, that was huge! Congratulations and much happiness.
Love,
Sharon

**SilkenPrincess** · 01-02-2005, 04:43 PM

HOORAY FOR MONA!!!
YOU GO GIRL!!!
I am feeling very happy for you right now. Best of luck, sweetheart!
Love,
SilkenPrincess

**MonaSmith** · 01-02-2005, 04:48 PM

Thanks Sharon.

Like I said, she knew that I crossdressed, but now she knows that Mona is a (nearly) fully formed person in her own right. It wasn't a huge step but it is the first step. I just have to make sure I keep up the momentum, and don't chicken out and back down.

SilkenPrincess, thank too, for you kind words of support.

**KayleighTV_UK** · 01-02-2005, 04:49 PM

Mona thats amazing!!

Im so happy for you.. i wish i could have that level of acceptance here with my mum!!!

I really really am over the moon for you!

X

Kay

**MonaSmith** · 01-02-2005, 04:53 PM

Originally Posted by KayleighTV_UK

Mona thats amazing!!

Im so happy for you.. i wish i could have that level of acceptance here with my mum!!!

I really really am over the moon for you!

X

Kay

Hi Kay, and thank you.
How are things going with you at the moment? I know that you were having problems before.

**KayleighTV_UK** · 01-02-2005, 05:01 PM

Originally Posted by MonaSmith

Hi Kay, and thank you.
How are things going with you at the moment? I know that you were having problems before.

Oh im ok.. depressed.. feeling cold and alone, but im ok!!!
Dont you just hate lonelyness??? its a horrible thing..
As for the mum thing, its getting.. closer, not quite where i want to be at the moment!

Kay

**Suzanna_CD** · 01-02-2005, 05:01 PM

That's wonderful Mona! I'm so happy for you! Times like this make me want to go tell my mom. Oh and I haven't commented before on it, but I love your new avatar. I bet that was quite the picture

.

**MonaSmith** · 01-02-2005, 05:29 PM

Originally Posted by KayleighTV_UK

Oh im ok.. depressed.. feeling cold and alone, but im ok!!!
Dont you just hate lonelyness??? its a horrible thing..
As for the mum thing, its getting.. closer, not quite where i want to be at the moment!

Kay

Kay, it sounds like you are ok!!! Keep the faith babe, It can and will get better. As they say, slow and steady wins the race.

**MonaSmith** · 01-02-2005, 05:35 PM

Originally Posted by Suzanna_CD

That's wonderful Mona! I'm so happy for you! Times like this make me want to go tell my mom. Oh and I haven't commented before on it, but I love your new avatar. I bet that was quite the picture

.

Make sure the time is right Suzanna, I hope when you tell her she is as easy about it as mine was. Thanks for the compliment, I am really happy with the pic (thanks Gen), it has given me a great deal of confidence and made my coming out properly, to my Mum, a lot easier.

**Wenda** · 01-02-2005, 05:38 PM

That is marvellous, Mona!! It is not a small step, it is a crucial step that everyone is afraid to take. Just not having it as a secret is a marvellous feeling. congratulations! wenda

Julie · 01-02-2005, 05:46 PM

Originally Posted by MonaSmith

It was only a small step compared with some of the very courageous things that some of the girls here have done, but it was a step nonetheless. It worked very well as a way of letting her know, without the shock and embarrassment, for both of us, of having me dress and confront her. I am planning on showing my sister next.

2005 is going to be a very good year, I can feel it.

Mona, you under estimate. This was no small step you took even though you told your mum about your crossdressing when you were 14/15, even after sounding her out you could just have easy got a negative response.

I'm so happy that she was so positive and over the moon that she sees fit to add Mona to the family picture gallery.

Good luck for when you reveal Mona to your sister and by todays happenings it won't be long before your mother meets Mona in person.

Well done Mona and good luck

Love Julie J

**MonaSmith** · 01-02-2005, 05:47 PM

Thanks Wenda, I appreciate that. It is a very nice feeling not having to tiptoe around at home any more. Next up is my sister!

**genevieve_ohara** · 01-02-2005, 05:50 PM

Hi!

And CONGRATULATIONS!

That took some of that ol' Winston Churchill-sized steely resolve, eh?

I am so proud of you!

I am so HAPPY for you!

And I know it's just the beginning!

Love you...

G

**Wenda** · 01-02-2005, 05:52 PM

Keep going. I told my daughter, she was ok. She told me her older brother has 'the same hobby.' When she was here for a visit she told him that I was dressing, he emailed me and we chatted about it in some detail several times. We haven't been anywhere together dressed, but just having it in the open is a marvellous relief. wenda.

**MonaSmith** · 01-02-2005, 05:56 PM

Originally Posted by Julie J

Mona, you under estimate. This was no small step you took even though you told your mum about your crossdressing when you were 14/15, even after sounding her out you could just have easy got a negative response.

I'm so happy that she was so positive and over the moon that she sees fit to add Mona to the family picture gallery.

Good luck for when you reveal Mona to your sister and by todays happenings it won't be long before your mother meets Mona in person.

Well done Mona and good luck

Love Julie J

Thank you too Julie. I have taken more steps forward since finding this forum, that I have in years. The support from everyone here makes it so much easier to do this stuff.

Mum wanted to put the picture up in the living room at first, but then I pointed out that people would ask who it is, and I'm not quite ready for everyone to know.

I will see my sister in a couple of weeks, so I will have to get another picture frame for then, lol. I really want them to meet Mona properly but I am not quite ready for that yet, I feel like it's getting close though.

**MonaSmith** · 01-02-2005, 06:03 PM

Originally Posted by genevieve_ohara

Hi!

And CONGRATULATIONS!

That took some of that ol' Winston Churchill-sized steely resolve, eh?

I am so proud of you!

I am so HAPPY for you!

And I know it's just the beginning!

Love you...

G

Thank you for everything that you have done for me Gen, I love you so much for helping me get to where I am, and in just a few short weeks too. You should write a crossdressers self-help book, with chapters on photography and makeup techniques, of course. You rock babe.

**Lauren Richards** · 01-02-2005, 06:09 PM

Mona,
It is the taking of any step which is important, not the size. After all, small steps can lead to large changes when they are taken on the edge of a cliff. Please do not diminish your own courage, nor honor, for taking the BIG step of sharing your inner self with your Mother. You have not only taken a big step, but have also given her one of the most valuable gifts any of us can share - your trust. Huge. And what a nice way to do it! Bye the way, your new avatar is Great! Is that the picture you had framed?

Best of everything to you in this new year. Expect the best - that way you get to enjoy it even longer.

Lauren

**MonaSmith** · 01-02-2005, 06:15 PM

Originally Posted by Lauren Richards

Mona,
It is the taking of any step which is important, not the size. After all, small steps can lead to large changes when they are taken on the edge of a cliff. Please do not diminish your own courage, nor honor, for taking the BIG step of sharing your inner self with your Mother. You have not only taken a big step, but have also given her one of the most valuable gifts any of us can share - your trust. Huge. And what a nice way to do it! Bye the way, your new avatar is Great! Is that the picture you had framed?

Best of everything to you in this new year. Expect the best - that way you get to enjoy it even longer.

Lauren

That's very sweet of you Lauren, thank you. The picture was my new avatar. It's one of the few pics of Mona that I actually like.

All the best to you too Lauren.

**Julie York** · 01-02-2005, 06:31 PM

I have something in my eye ok!
That's all it is.
Just a grit thing.
OK!!!!!

**MonaSmith** · 01-02-2005, 06:35 PM

Originally Posted by Julie York

I have something in my eye ok!
That's all it is.
Just a grit thing.
OK!!!!!

Lol. Hi Julie, there seems to be a lot of that grit flying about here too lately.

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