I chickened out...

[Sweet Jane]

I have received lots of wonderful advice from some people here, so today I decided that I would go out "en femme" for the very first time. I had a really, really close shave and applied some make up, and put on some clothes that I hoped would have me blend away. I had decided to go and shop in a neighbouring town.
Anyhow, I had put some jeans and a "cover up" top on and went out to the car. My stomach was doing uncontrollable cartwheels. I sat for a while, breathing in deeply, and started the car. I turned it around and went to head out of the drive, but I had this almighty panic attack and I just could not go. I feared that my nosey neighour would spot me in the car exiting our drive, and I literally froze.
Anyhow, I went back inside and thought that I would not waste the make up, so I took a few photos....they just do not portray how petrified I was. I really do feel quite silly but I have resigned myself to going outat night first up. I don't know if that will be much easier..anyhow here's how a scared Jane looked today...In jeans as I was dressed to go out...

[Lori SC]

Jane,

You should have gottten out the driveway and at least around the block. I think you would pass for the casual observer. Even those who notice would be accepting of you in this outfit.

But getting out in public is scary as you well know. Your plan to start with the late night drives is the way most of us start. Soon you'll progress to the drive at night to the self-service post office to get stamps you don't need. (Hmm, I think I drove by three times before I stopped in).

You'll get there. In the meantime, enjoy the thrill and exileration!

Hugs, Lori

[Gisele]

The night is our friend in this case. I do alot of driving at night cause we have a ton of neighbors that we know.

[Glenda58]

Jane if you go down the drive don't stop thats when people look just keep going thats what people expect and don't look. Go at night so you feel comfortable driving dress. The post office at night is good. I park the car and walk to the mail box to post a bill about 20 ft from the car my first time. That was 4 years ago. So start slow it's like a snow ball going down hill it goes slow at first then you can stop it.

[ashleyinwpb]

I think you need to not worry about the shopping part...think about it as getting clothes out of yoru closet that you have to pay for...do you have a SO or "girlfriend that can go with you. I have a supportive SO and it makes all the difference and if you buy enough you eventually get used to doing it on your own...if you want to cd while your not dressed check out www.tgtees.com that where I bought my shirts that I wear out with my buddies so when I'm out on the town I can still feel like I dress...also my girlfriend isn't too embarassed...Regards, Ash

[Billijo49504]

Jane, I showed your picture to my wife. She said if that person came into her store, she would treat you as any other woman, who wandered into the store. You should have given it a try, you would have been surprised. Go to a Lane Bryant or an Avenue Store. They are very CD friendly. Actually they are dollar friendly. What ever it takes to make the sale. They want your money, dressed as a guy or as a gurl. They want to make the sale, and they don't care if it's a guy or a gurl. And if you sign up for a credit card, they get extra points. And you get a big discount for your first purchase....BJ
ps. The wife and I both have platinium card at Lane Bryant stores. And they love to see either of us come in the store. Cuz they know we are there to spend. I get good service, dressed or not....BJ

[Kate Simmons]

...About "chickening out". It took me a long time to get the courage to go out. When I finally did, I wondered what the big deal was. Now you have to tie me down sometimes to keep me home as Richard. Just takes getting used to, that's all. Ericka

[Karren H]

Awwww. We've all been there before!! And for a first time out try the evening... You feel less visible then and just take a ride or get gas. Or go to a park and take a walk...well lite one and a safe one please!!!

But you'll get there. Takes time to overcome the fear that the whole world is watching you......when in fact almost no one is!! Lol

Love Karren

[donnapink]

I think all use share your anxiety just consider the fact that you made it as far as you did as a first step. By the way I am nosy are those lovely doors pocket doors?

[Sharoncd]

AH YES the first time out. My nerves were shot, I was looking over both shoulders for somebody I knew. My mind was going 90 MPH.

Good news I made it and the rest got easier.

Sharon

[Vivian Best]

Hi Jane,

Girl do I know the feelings you had! I've had them in buckets full. The panic attacks, the concern neighbors would see me and on and one. You certainly have it over me, you look great in your photos, and for me you are a girl. Just keep doin it!

[renee k]

Hi Jane,

Getting out the door is the hard part! Keep going and don't look back. I remember my first time out, I felt the same way. I agree with all the other girls that posted on this thread. I think you'll surprise yourself. Get out there and enjoy!

Huggs, Renee

[Penny]

Hi! I live at the end of a cultasack so it is vertually impossible for me not to be seen. At one time or another I have passed all of my neighbors and yet, I'm still here. My motto "live with it or move because I'm not". The more you do it, the easier it becomes.

[Sweet Jane]

Hi
firstly, Donna, yes they are pocket doors...On the getting out front, I think that I need a new "hairdo" which might make me feel a little more comfortable. Even now I as I post this, I feel so nervous and I'm going nowhere!!!, it's just so silly. I have put a couple of wig photos up and was wondering if anyone thought either might be the one? I'd love to hear any ideas.

[noname]

I think the thing to remember is that there is nothing people can do to you. ( well legally anyway ) Take your neighbor for instance. Suppose they did spot you, what are they going to do? They aren't you boss, so it won't be like they will fire you. I guess what I'm saying is that the only power people have over you is the power you give them.

[vickie_tv1556]

sweet jane, (I'm the one that loves Lou Reed also). You did not chicken out, It was simply the wrong time for you. In your pic, you look to be passable to me. You might try going to a gay club in dress, you will find it to be comfortable and you will not be the only one dressed.
Best of Luck.
Vickie

[Sky]

Sweet Jane,

The first wig would probably look better on you. Reason? Because your face is relatively wide (like mine and most guys') and the first wig is wider at the eyes, giving an illusion of a narrower face. It's a good thing they both sweep over your cheeks and your neck -which helps narrowing your face too.

But on the other hand, a short wig with the boatneck you are wearing on the picture makes your neck and shoulders look wider. Since the wig looks good, I'd say pick a v-neck. Doesn't have to be deep cleavage -just v-shaped.

Now get on the darn car and honk when you pass by your nosy neighbor!