A different view?

[Scrunchie-Bunchie]

I notice people seem to call each other "girl" or "lady" here. I'm puzzled over this because I don't consider myself to be a girl or a lady.

I wear women's clothes out of preferance (in fact my wife even finds it erotic). I find cosmetics to be a ton of bother and when they're applied I can't really see any difference in my appearence unless they're so thickly applied that I end up looking like a Geisha. I have never considered myself to be a woman though (having said that I'd love to have the experience of being a woman if there's ever a reincarnation). Deep down, I know I'm a man. I know I would never pass as a woman for several reasons:
1. I have an Adam's apple.
2. My face - eyebrows, jawline, hairline are all male.
3. I don't curve in at the waist (even overweight women curve inwards a bit).
4. I don't have a curvaceous backside.
5. I don't walk like a woman because anatomically I'm not a woman.
6. I have a male voice.
I would never "pass" and never intend to try to do so - even though secretly I'd love to be able to be seen as a woman.

So... this seemingly overwhealming desire to "pass" and to consider oneself as a woman while wearing women's clothing baffles me. Maybe I'm missing something?

[Shelly Preston]

It's not neccessarily a desire to pass

The main reason is.

This is the gender we present here, so that is the main reason for being called a Girl

Its a text version of the optical illusion

And yes we have some members who do pass on a regular basis but that is not everyones aim

[Dominique Melt]

I know exactly what you mean. I myself have refrained from addressing anyone here as 'sister' or 'lady' because we are, in fact, none of those things, with the possible exception of post-op SRS TGs. I personally have no truck with it if another CDer calls me sister or lady because part of the fantasy is to be lady-like and feminine, if not female. But a bloke is what I be, although i derive immense pleasure from indulging my femme nature. And yes, I have fantasies of waking up one day and finding myself in the bosy of some sort of goddess -- many of here share that. But in the end, unless and until I decide I want to do the SRS thing [and I have contemplated it] I will be a genetic, even then, a genetic male. DNA is DNA.
If there were some event that actually changed my DNA and physical body to that of a female, then I would consider myself a 'sister' or a woman. Until then, I'm just a guy who loves the wway women look, feel aand dress. It goes deeper than that, no doubt, but I am not in the mood to go to profound, right now

[Katelyn]

For some of us it is to escape into a world of wonder and Fantasy. I really don't have a reason why other than that. Another thing I like to do is dress nicely by putting on a suit, a tie, and have my girlfriend dress up and go to a fancy restraunt intended for rich people only once a year. I'm not rich, but that one time every year, I get to slip into their world of fine dining and live like they do for an hour. For others, it's because they really want to be a woman. Others like you probably like the clothes either for comfort, style, or because you may be turned on by it. You're right. I'll be a little careful on how hi address someone here though. Not every m to f crossdresser likes that. I'm guessing that is also true for f to m.

[Nigella]

I notice people seem to call each other "girl" or "lady" here. I'm puzzled over this because I don't consider myself to be a girl or a lady.

I wear women's clothes out of preferance (in fact my wife even finds it erotic). I find cosmetics to be a ton of bother and when they're applied I can't really see any difference in my appearence unless they're so thickly applied that I end up looking like a Geisha. I have never considered myself to be a woman though (having said that I'd love to have the experience of being a woman if there's ever a reincarnation). Deep down, I know I'm a man. I know I would never pass as a woman for several reasons:
1. I have an Adam's apple.
2. My face - eyebrows, jawline, hairline are all male.
3. I don't curve in at the waist (even overweight women curve inwards a bit).
4. I don't have a curvaceous backside.
5. I don't walk like a woman because anatomically I'm not a woman.
6. I have a male voice.I would never "pass" and never intend to try to do so - even though secretly I'd love to be able to be seen as a woman.

So... this seemingly overwhealming desire to "pass" and to consider oneself as a woman while wearing women's clothing baffles me. Maybe I'm missing something?

If we all used that criteria to check out if we "pass" or not, no-one who is not undergoing all the medical intervention needed to correct your 6 points would pass.

For a lot of CD's this site is where they can express their alter egos. It is their escape from the reality of life, they present as they feel and if calling themselves by the female verbs, she, girl etc then so be it.

[MJ]

hi scrunchie

well for give me for saying but i too was thinking the same thing in regards to the girl names or girl or lady.. how can i put this forgive me if i am wrong . if a " guy " wants to escape the riggers and stress of life and become a girl for an hour or day or weekend or forever , i can't see anything wrong with that . also if the "guys" give them self's female names then i think we must respect that and use the proper pronouns for that gender so if one portrays a feminine identity then great you go girl friend because thats who they are..
now in your post
1 Adam's apple.. can be hid by a turtle neck top
2 face eyebrows can be waxed and makeup can reduce the jawline
3 curve in at the waist can be done with a waist hugger or corset
4 curvaceous backside can be padded
6 male voice is hard but with practice you can get a fem voice

it's all in the appearance if you can try to get an hour glass shape a good wig and makeup one can pass it just takes practice..

i may be wrong here but is CD supposed to be relaxing to a point and the escape from stress and to make one feel better about themselves i know there are other reason but i think thats the general idea...
or i could be dead wrong if so i am sorry...

[KarenSusan]

I don't know. Call me strange but I still get a thrill out of it when someone refers to me as she or her. Also when someone starts a post with "Hi Girls".

[Kate Simmons]

You are who you are, Hon. If you are comfortable with that, that's what counts. Personally, I consider myself anything but a "lady". I'm more like a M T F T M tomboy if you can classify such a thing. I'm myself in any case and don't try to fit into any kind of "mold" created by others. Ericka/Rich

[joanna_s]

Well, I´ve never thought about that so seriously. Enjoying female clothing and other girly things is what we all have in common, right? I find that a privilege, not a curse. Crossdressing is a way to express my female side but it´s also a great fun. When I call you ladies, sisters, girls etc. I don´t mean that literally. But when we are dressed, we aren´t exactly men, are we? I feel so soft and feminine when I´m dressed.


Joanna

[Lanore]

Over the years I've developed in to who I am. I'm not a natural woman but I do feel female inside and out. Certain parts of my body are not that of a male and some are. I think this confuses some people. Better their confusion than mine. My changes have developed over the years, so it's not as dramatic. Is it important for me to pass? I'll say I made a 100 on the test. Inside and out.

Lanore

[lisa68]

I guess I missed out on the subject on being called or referred as a lady,girl,she and ect. Well it's better than the way the world as it,what,thing, sick-o or whatever else that others may concieder us in this forum. So forgive me if I offened anyone when I refer you as female with respect instead weirdo man in women clothes and by the way don't look at my son you pervert crap. I'm just trying to show respect to everyone dresses as a woman and wants to be accepted as one in the world. So later GIRL!

[Snookums]

I notice people seem to call each other "girl" or "lady" here. I'm puzzled over this because I don't consider myself to be a girl or a lady.

I wear women's clothes out of preferance (in fact my wife even finds it erotic). I find cosmetics to be a ton of bother and when they're applied I can't really see any difference in my appearence unless they're so thickly applied that I end up looking like a Geisha. I have never considered myself to be a woman though (having said that I'd love to have the experience of being a woman if there's ever a reincarnation). Deep down, I know I'm a man. I know I would never pass as a woman for several reasons:
1. I have an Adam's apple.
2. My face - eyebrows, jawline, hairline are all male.
3. I don't curve in at the waist (even overweight women curve inwards a bit).
4. I don't have a curvaceous backside.
5. I don't walk like a woman because anatomically I'm not a woman.
6. I have a male voice.
I would never "pass" and never intend to try to do so - even though secretly I'd love to be able to be seen as a woman.

So... this seemingly overwhealming desire to "pass" and to consider oneself as a woman while wearing women's clothing baffles me. Maybe I'm missing something?

you put that so well,because it baffles me too

[Niya W]

well my take on tis is,

if you meet as niya its niya . Dressed our not. All my TG freinds call niya, no male name. We always refer to each other as sis or girl friend. State of mind for me , it has nothing to with the clothes. The clothes merly express my state of mend.

[Breanne]

Well, I´ve never thought about that so seriously. Enjoying female clothing and other girly things is what we all have in common, right? I find that a privilege, not a curse. Crossdressing is a way to express my female side but it´s also a great fun. When I call you ladies, sisters, girls etc. I don´t mean that literally. But when we are dressed, we aren´t exactly men, are we? I feel so soft and feminine when I´m dressed.


Joanna

Right on, Joanna!
(BTW, love that skirt in your avatar)

[Snookums]

Joanna,are you sure

[RedBaron]

This is a very interesting discussion for me. I am a crossdresser who doesn't at all try to look female. I wear skirts, but I also have a beard. I don't really know whether I want to be addresses as "girl". On the one hand, I am male without a doubt. On the other hand, I like female things and I revell in wearing skirts, jewelry and all. For myself, I have no problem with all that, it is just me. But for people looking at me it must be confusing.

I guess the upshot of it all is that I want to be called by my name, being treated as the person that I am and not being put into a pigeon hole to make me fit in with other people.

So, I accept being called "girl", but I don't mind being called "cowboy" at all (I wear cowgirl/cowboy outfits all the time), and if anybody wants to call be anything in between , I can handle that as well.

Don't mind labels, you are what you are inside, don't give too much about what other people try to label you, be yourself. Be confident in yourself and don't let the rest of the world intimidate you. Life is too short to let others dictate how to live it, make up your own choice. (It took me a long time to get to this point, but once I was there, it was SOO liberating).

[Deanna2]

I'm with you Scrunchie. I'm a bloke who loves to wear femme gear and I do it a lot and recently while my wife is around. She's not overwrapt, but I'm making progress.

I've given myself a girly name and occassionally I'll wear makeup and sometimes a wig, but there is no way I ever consider myself to be a girl and I have no desire to be one. I don't fantasize about being a girl either. I'm having too much fun with my male fantasies.

I've got to say there is nothing like the feeling of wearing a cami, skirt and high heels. And long may I do so.

[Bianca T-Girl]

Mind if I jump in here? For me, there is a female that wants to come out from time to time and I become "Bianca." I want to be called Bianca and be referred to as SHE. When I'm dressed I feel like a women and walk and act like a woman with hand movements - holding a cigarette vertical etc. Quite the opposite to when I'm not dressed. I would love to go to a restaurant with a guy and the waiter comes round and asks the guy "what would you like Sir?" then turns to me and says "and Madam?" that would make to feel real good. But if he called me sir, I'd walk out. So when it's Bianca's turn to come out, she don't do things in half measures - it's all or nothing. She does my head in most of the time but I'm stuck with her. I have to keep on the right side of her as she can be quite bitchy at times. These are just my own views. We are all different but the same in many respects. Whatever you are happy with is fine with me.

Bianca.

[Karren H]

Hey girl.......some of us are just trying to look like the best female we can....and where I go out enfemme (coal mining camps....).....It's pass or die trying....hehehe

Love Karren

[Sky]

I notice people seem to call each other "girl" or "lady" here. I'm puzzled over this because I don't consider myself to be a girl or a lady.

Ok. From now on I'll call you "dude".

(But I'd still prefer to be addressed as a girl, thanks)

[pinkshelly]

I have to agree with karren. Dress and pass or die try'en. I guess i'm from the group, I want to be a woman, and would live 24/7 if possible.
It's funny, when the gg s.o. and I are rough housin, she calls me a bitch and I say thanks. Even when in guy mode, even nekid.
Huggs, Shelly.

[gretafemme]

I have to agree with those who enjoy being referred to in their feminine personna's name and pronouns. Even dressed as a guy I feel feminine inside and I feel honored to be called Greta, her, and she...to each his/her own I guess.

[joanna_s]

Joanna,are you sure

Nope, I´m not sure at all, that´s just my humble opinion

Hugs,

Joanna

[joanna_s]

(BTW, love that skirt in your avatar)[/QUOTE]

Thanks, Breanne Your dress doesn´t look bad either

Joanna

[LaFem]

I can't imagine how else I'd prefer to be addressed on this forum. Almost anything feminine will do. We are all here because, at the least, we dress like women. We take female names for our female selves. I'm trying hard to get away form male things. Please don't call me "Sir".